


what worse luck

by GuardianKarenTerrier



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: (bc gabriel is terrible thats why), ALL OF IT, Anxiety, Cat Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Cursed Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Food Issues, Found Family, Gaslighting, Gen, I WONDER WHY THAT WOULD KEEP BEING A THEME, I mean, Illusionist Alya, Internalized Victim Blaming, Magic AU, Nonbinary Alya Cesaire, Nonbinary Character, OH LOOK ADRIEN RUNS AWAY AGAIN, Panic Attacks, Past Animal Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Protective Ladybug, Protective Nino, Protective Plagg, Slow Burn Hurt/Comfort, Team as Family, Witch Marinette Dupain-Cheng, adopted Nino Lahiffe, at this point its both, leaving plagg in charge results in Hey You Wanted Another Kid Right, marinettes parents found all the family, no seriously marinettes parents found All The Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2019-08-23 22:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 103,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16628069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuardianKarenTerrier/pseuds/GuardianKarenTerrier
Summary: He doesn't know what happens. One minute he's struggling against the leash spell, the next he's tripping on his own momentum as the magic suddenly snaps, as he tastes freedom for the first time in- in ever, probably.Adrien doesn't stop long enough to think about where he's going or why. He just bolts.(Marinette's spell goes wildly off-target, but it's a stroke of luck for everyone involved that it does).





	1. beginner's luck

**Author's Note:**

> "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."'
> 
>  
> 
> i woke up with the seeds of this in my head and it promptly _ate me whole_
> 
> _send help_

He's never gotten this far before.

It's never been easy to get very far like this at all- his cat form is small, closer to a kitten than a full-grown cat, and whoever had laid the curse in the first place left him front declawed. He's always been almost more annoyed about that than he is about the curse's very existence. It's a lot more _difficult_ to be a cat with only half his claws.

None of that is what really prevents him from running farther.

He doesn't actually mind the curse itself as much as anyone else might expect him to, so much as he minds his father's reactions to it. If he really found it as upsetting as everyone seems to think he should, he wouldn't keep sneaking out the way he does; the curse activates as soon as he steps off his family's property and doesn't release his cat form until a member of his family (so his father) cancels it. At some point he'd decided that whatever moments of freedom he could snatch were _worth_ being a cat for them.

But the leash spell his father doesn't think he knows about- that, he _does_ mind.

And this strange balcony on the other side of the river is as far as he's gotten without it activating.

He's considering that now, carefully hidden between two potted plants. He suspects the spell is on him all the time, even when he's not transformed, but as far as he can tell the tracking component has to be activated manually. If they don't know yet that he isn't in his room, they won't have activated it.

For so long he didn't know how they always found him. He knew there was a different smell to the magic around him when he changed, but he's _cursed_ , he _always_ stinks of magic. The leash spells are designed for wayward pets, he hadn't thought to look for them for- months, probably. Even transformed, he's still technically human. When he did finally check for them he hadn't been expecting to actually find any.  He might be a cat more often than he'd like but he isn't a _pet_.

(Even if he feels like it sometimes).

He takes a step further onto the balcony, testing and cautious. He feels the arcane leash tug at his neck and stops, hesitant to push it farther; he doesn't know what happens if he fights the spell outright. At the very least it's likely to bring his father down on him like a ton of bricks.

But now he's sure. This _is_ farther than he could go last time. Maybe he can't break the spell, but it looks like he can at least try to wear it down.  It won't do more than buy him time today but maybe eventually he can wear all the way through.

He takes another slow step. The spell tugs again, but not strongly, so he takes another.

And another.

And another, but that one feels like he's pushing it; he turns sideways instead, intending to stalk along the edges of his range as long as he can, before someone comes after him.

(They always come after him).

He takes a few more steps, wobbly with the effort of brushing up against the limits of such a tightly-cast spell. For all his other failings his father is an unfortunately competent spellcaster.

Five minutes later he finds himself pitching forwards, tail over paws, as the spell abruptly _snaps_.

He doesn't know what happens. One minute he's struggling against the spell's restraints, the next he's tripping on his own momentum as the leash is suddenly _gone_ , as he tastes freedom for the first time in- in _ever_ , probably.

Adrien doesn't stop long enough to think about where he's going or why. He just _bolts_.

* * *

 

"Are you sure it's all right for me to be here?" Alya asks worriedly, drawing up their knees where they’re sitting on the chaise lounge and keeping well away from Marinette's work area.

"I'm sure," Marinette assures them, rearranging a candle and sitting back on her heels to observe her working circle. "This is the last spell Tikki wants me to master, and she said the only one who could interfere with it is Plagg. He's not here right now so we should be fine."

Alya wrinkles their nose. "Why Plagg?"

Marinette hesitates. What Plagg is really isn't anyone's business but his own, but it does feel strange that she and Nino know and Alya doesn't. "I'll... ask if I can tell you later. It's not mine to tell." She doesn't think that Plagg will care, but it's still better to ask. He'll be back tonight, anyway.

"Okay, I can accept that," Alya says grudgingly, leaning forwards and propping their head on one hand. "So can you tell me what exactly it is you're doing here? This is Tikki's Master spell, right?"

Marinette beams. "Yes! If I can prove to her that I can cast it correctly, I move up to Master status."

Alya snorts. "Witch ranks."

"Oh, like Illusionists don't have ranks," Marinette teases them.

"Sensibly numbered ones, yes," Alya says dryly. Alya's actually the third ranked Illusionist in the city. They're only ranked lower than their own teacher and someone who goes by Lila that no one seems to have ever actually met, although with an Illusionist that can be difficult to determine. Even Alya will occasionally change their appearance on a whim.  Alya's also earned the right to be a little flippant about ranks. "So what does this spell of yours do?"

"Technically it's still Tikki's spell, I'm just casting it," Marinette corrects, lighting the candles with a wave of both hands. "She calls it Miracle, it's supposed to spread good luck and healing.  Tikki's version is really strong, though; I don't have to match hers, just cast correctly. I don't have her range but it should boost the luck of anyone in the arrondissement. Her version can also break certain spells if they were cast with ill-intent, but I don't think I have that kind of power."

"Ohh." Alya's eyes light up. "So I'm about to get a luck boost, huh? Think it'll bring Nino back sooner?"

"Alya, he comes back in a _week_ ," Marinette says, laughing. "He's not even far from here, you can literally get on a train to where he's staying."

"Yeah but he's _working_ ," Alya says, whining playfully. "He won't have time for _me_."

"Well if you'll let me cast, you can see if he does come back early," Marinette says, and Alya stops talking, hugging their knees and watching intently. "I _can_ tell you that's part of why Plagg can't be here, though. He's- what he is tends to siphon luck."

Alya blinks. "And he wanted _Tikki_ for a witch? When luck's like, her whole thing?"

Marinette shrugs. "I guess it's different if he's acting as your familiar? I know they make each other stronger somehow." She turns her attention back towards her circle. After a moment of thoughtful hesitation, she does palm the last piece of the spell into the center of the circle after all, out of Alya's sight.

Some witches are flashy. When she'd first apprenticed to Tikki, Marinette had kind of expected that she would be, too; like Marinette, Tikki's actual domains are luck and creation, some of the most difficult to practice.

But the circles Tikki prefers and passed down to her student tend towards the simple. Marinette has a different element represented in each quarter- incense for the wind, a shallow dish of rainwater for water, a candle for the flame, another shallow dish of dirt for earth. Marinette's opted to place extra candles between the quarters and in the center, but that's not strictly required. She just thought that with the difference between her abilities and Tikki's it couldn't hurt.

Marinette takes a deep breath and starts to chant, quietly. The words matter less than the personal meaning they hold for her does, which was probably the part of Tikki's teaching that took longest for Marinette to accept. It wasn't really until the older witch suggested trying song lyrics that it had clicked for her.

It's more singing than chanting, understandably, but Marinette loses herself in enthusiasm quickly. "I remember the fight and I forget the pain, got my hand in your pocket and my key in your chain, am I the king of nothing at all? And you're the queen of nothing at all-"

She hears Alya snort and start giggling, but it's been a long time since Marinette cared whether her castings sounded silly to anyone else. She's not sure if it's the spell itself or just the working of it but she can feel her spirits lifting already.

"Cross my heart and hope to die, taking this one step at a time, I got your back if you got mine, one foot in front of the other," Marinette continues singing, giddy with the rising spellwork, and she finds herself laughing when all the candles blow out at once in a sudden impossible gust of wind.

"It worked, I take it?" Alya asks with some amusement.

"It felt like it," Marinette confirms, flopping over backwards, carefully away from her spell components. "Now we wait and see if there are any observable effects."

"Well." Alya smooths down their pants and hops up off the chaise lounge. "While we're waiting on that, do you want to go get dinner?"

"I mean, it can take days, Alya. But yeah, as soon as we have everything put away, let's go out to celebrate," Marinette says, grinning. "It _really_ felt like it worked."

* * *

 

He's not very good at being a cat.

He knows it was stupid to expect he would be. He's not really a cat at all and he's only spent stolen snatches of time in this form before, but somehow he'd thought it would be easier. He'd thought that he'd pick it up as he went along, maybe.

That absolutely does not happen.

He's a terrible hunter. He trips over his own paws and he keeps trying to use claws he doesn't have (he _hates_ that he's front declawed. At least he has back claws, but he's not any _good_ with them). The one time he does manage to catch a scrawny, sickly-looking rat he has to abandon it when an older, battle-scarred tom challenges him for it.

His third night of freedom it starts to rain. He finds a box in an alley and slinks into it, desperate for some level of protection from the storm, and unhappily considers his options.

He could go back. He'd be in more trouble than he's ever been in his _life_ , and they'll likely move him to one of the totally indoor rooms and bar him from the gardens entirely, but he _could_ go back and be warm and safe and fed and- trapped. He could be trapped.

The last time Nathalie caught him anywhere near this far out she let him wake up in his cat carrier. She said she hoped it would make an impression on him.  His father hadn't had time in his schedule to cancel the curse for hours, and his carrier's not _large_ , it's really only meant for transport. (It's really only meant for an actual _cat_ but that's not a fight he can win).

He's not going back. He's not letting them catch him again.

He _is_ wet and cold and miserable, though, and he rests his head on his paws with a sigh. He can sleep here, it's no worse than anywhere else right now, and maybe in the morning he can find a cat colony that's a little more welcoming.

Or he can look for a witch that can break his curse altogether.

He sits up again at that thought, suddenly excited. He's never thought of finding a witch before. He couldn't have, he's only ever out of the house in this form, and then never long enough to meet anyone even if he could talk to them.

But he has all the time in the world now. He can start looking for someone sympathetic. He can figure out how to communicate.

Plan made, he settles back into the box for the night.

He barely manages any sleep at all before being rudely awakened.

There's a much, much larger cat looming over him, looking down with considering green eyes, and Adrien backs up before he can help it, bumping into the back of the box and hissing.  The other cat is just as midnight black as he is, outlined in a flash of lightning that makes Adrien cower in spite of himself.

"Huh," the other cat says, and Adrien freezes up, because other cats don't usually _talk_ to him. "So it's like that, huh? I _should_ take you home," he glances at Adrien's neck in a way that suggests he can _see_ the remnants of the leash spell, which, as far as Adrien knows, is _not a thing that cats can do_ , and then huffs and hunches forward. "But I think I have a better idea."

He shouldn't have crawled into the box for the night; it only means he has nowhere to retreat to when the older tom lunges for him.

The bigger cat doesn't actually attack him, though. Instead he grabs Adrien by the scruff and takes off.

It's not comfortable. Adrien's not a large cat, and the stranger _is_ , and on top of that being scruffed is never comfortable. Being _carried_ by the scruff is even worse, and he doesn't want to say anything, because if there's any chance at all that he can still pass for a normal cat he's going to take it.

The other cat likes to jump and run and Adrien is jostled every time, twisting around and mewling piteously as he becomes more and more afraid that the strange cat is just going to drop him somewhere.

He doesn't.

He jumps them all the way up to a balcony, one that Adrien recognises with a start as the one he'd still been near three nights ago when the leash spell snapped, and then the bigger cat starts scratching at the window. ( _He_ has all his claws. Adrien's jealous).

The girl that opens it looks his age. She looks like she's only just woken up, even though she answers the scratching within minutes; she's wearing a ratty t-shirt and pajama pants. Yawning, she says, "Plagg? It's late, why are you- oh."

The older cat- Plagg, apparently- jumps to the ground and finally, finally sets Adrien down, only to trap him between his front paws immediately when Adrien tries to run.

" _Plagg_ ," the girl says, distressed, as she kneels down closer to them. "This is a little different than bringing me birds, you know. This little guy probably has a home somewhere- huh." She must see something, because she looks at Adrien and blinks. "That's- I _know_ you can see that, Plagg. If _I_ can see it you probably noticed a while ago." She hesitates. "And- you brought him here. Tikki's still out of town?"

Adrien can't turn around to see the other cat, Plagg won't _let_ him, but he's pretty sure Plagg nods. He is _definitely_ not a normal cat.

(Like he's one to talk).

"All right," the girl says slowly. "I'll- Nino's not back yet, I'll call Alya. Stay there."

Adrien does not want to stay there. Adrien does not seem to have a choice, because even though Plagg's set him down he's still standing half over Adrien, like he's guarding him.

The girl's not gone long, anyway, only long enough to fetch something- it takes Adrien longer than he'd like to recognise a cell phone.  He hasn't seen one in years. The girl dials, then glances over at Adrien and Plagg strangely and starts to adjust the volume on the phone.

When the voice that answers is clearly audible, Adrien's shocked to realise she seems to have done it so that they can hear both sides of the conversation, too.

"Alya speaking," a drowsy voice comes through.

"Alya? It's Marinette." She pauses, staring at both cats again with a troubled expression. "Listen, is there any chance Nino actually is going to be back early?"

On the other end of the phone, Alya yawns. "He's _your_ brother, shouldn't you be keeping track of him?"

"Alya, come on," Marinette says. "Papa and Maman are still out of town. I know he always goes to your place first, he is _really_ bad at hiding it."

"Yeah, actually, he should be in tomorrow," Alya admits. "First bit of that luck I was promised that I've actually had, but hey, it's Nino, seems worth it. Why, everything okay?"

"I'm- not sure." Marinette shifts her weight, seems to realise something, and sits down on the floor again. Adrien appreciates that; the way Plagg is looming over him is bad enough.  Plagg is _huge_. "There's a cat here with a snapped leash spell."

Adrien stiffens and tries to back up. He can't, he runs into Plagg immediately and the bigger cat still doesn't seem willing to let him go anywhere, but he _tries_ as he feels his tail bush out and his back arch.

Marinette's eyes darken.

"So bring him home, then," Alya's saying, exasperated. "At, you know, a normal, sane time in the morning. Even if _you_ can't trace a broken spell, Plagg or Tikki should be able to, right?"

"That's just it, though. Plagg brought him here," Marinette says. "I _know_ Plagg can see broken spells, but he brought him _here_ , and Alya, this cat just reacted when I mentioned the spell, and not in a good way. I think we need Nino.  You know, specifically."

"Okay," Alya says after a pause. "Okay, yeah. We'll both be over as soon as we can tomorrow. Sound good?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Alya. You're the best," Marinette says, slumping with what looks like relief. "See you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow, girl. Try to get some sleep." Alya hangs up, and Marinette does the same a moment later.

Then she goes back to studying Adrien.

Adrien doesn't like that. He tries to back away again, and this time Plagg lets him, but when he tries to jump for the window Plagg swats him back down.

"Plagg," Marinette says hastily, reaching for Adrien herself, but then seeming to think better of it. "That wasn't nice."

Plagg meows smugly, then swats Adrien again just when he's righted himself.

This time he goes tumbling into Marinette's leg. She stays very still, one hand extended as though to offer help, but not actually touching him. When Adrien does get himself reoriented he decides to stay closer to her- Plagg clearly isn't about to let him leave the way he came, and Marinette doesn't keep _swatting_ him.

Why couldn't his cat self be _larger_?

"Hey, kitty," Marinette says softly, her hand hovering just above his back, but making no move towards him. "Is it alright if I pet you, or is that too much?"

Adrien shrinks back and she lets her hand drop.

"Okay, too much, then," she says. "I'm sure you heard me but I'm Marinette, and the older gentleman who brought you here is Plagg."

Plagg scoffs. "Flatterer."

"Would you mind staying the night, kitty?" Marinette asks politely, then frowns. "I don't think I should just keep calling you kitty, it doesn't feel right. But I don't know your name." She considers it, then asks thoughtfully, "Is it all right if I just call you Chat Noir for now?"

Slowly, Adrien nods.

_Marinette_ startles backwards.

Over by the window, Plagg breaks into cackling laughter. "She still thought you were a _cat_ , kid!"

"I _am_ a-" Adrien flinches.

Plagg snickers. "Sure, sure. But that's not _all_ you are, is it?" He settles down in front of the window and starts washing a front paw. "Calm _down_ , kid, you're a lot safer here than you were out on the street like that."

"You won't let me _leave_!" Adrien snaps, nettled. He feels _trapped_ and he _hates_ it.

"Kid." Plagg sets his paw back down deliberately and turns to look directly into Adrien's eyes. "Broken spells can be tracked. Especially leashes, they're practically designed for it. You don't look willing to go back to whoever leashed you in the first place and _this_ kid is a witch of creation. She can take that spell off entirely."

Adrien stares at him.

Plagg doesn't have eyebrows, but Adrien gets the sense that he's raising one anyway.

Then Adrien whips around to put his front paws on Marinette's knee, meowing frantically. "Take it off, take it off _please_ , it's been three days, they're _looking_ by now-” They can't find him. They _can't_ find him, not _now_ , not when he's never been loose this long before or gotten this far. Forget the carrier, forget an indoor room, by now Nathalie's probably made good on her old threat to buy an actual cage. They _can't find him._

"Kid," Plagg sighs, then jumps down from the windowsill and strolls over. "She can't understand you."

"But-" Adrien tries, helplessly. "But she was talking to me like-"

"Yeah, creation witches are like that." With no warning, Plagg reaches over and puts one paw on the back of Adrien's neck, pressing down with enough force that Adrien squeaks.

"Oh," Marinette says gently. "You want it off?"

" _Ye-es_ ," Adrien cries, struggling out from under Plagg enough to nod vigorously.

Marinette laughs, but not unkindly. "Come here, then, Chat Noir, and let me take a better look at it. Normally I'd ask a couple more times if you were sure, but that sounded like pretty enthusiastic consent to me. Wouldn't you say, Plagg?"

Plagg is irritatingly good at making a meow sound smug.

Adrien doesn't _care_ , scrambling away from him and right into Marinette's lap, suddenly not shy at _all_ if it means she can get rid of any spell remnants still on him. He didn't even know it was _possible_ to track broken spells or he would have still been running.

"Whoa, all right, kitty," she says, laughing again. "I have to touch you for this, do I have your permission?"

He headbutts her hand in answer.

"I'll take that as a yes, then," she says, and starts petting him carefully.

He wasn't- he wasn't actually prepared for that.

He doesn't get a lot of physical contact, not really. His father and his staff aren't big on it, and when he's let out to model it's either in the mansion or the gardens by necessity, meaning that no one wants to risk looking like they're even _thinking_ of putting their hands on him when his father is _right there_.

He didn't know what he was missing.

He's never known that he could purr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres a whole conversation about it later but to save myself a headache: ninos adopted
> 
> also i have not actually identified as wiccan for more than a decade now but as you can probably guess my casting style was always _pretty damn relaxed_
> 
> and that song is one foot by walk the moon


	2. the devil's own

"Hey, kid," Plagg says, eeling up alongside them, and Adrien nearly doesn't hear him. "Hey. Chat Noir, or whatever your name is. Try twitching your whiskers just like- this." Plagg demonstrates, and Adrien's paying just barely enough attention to imitate him.

His senses sharpen, but not in any of the ways that he's used to. Marinette's not just petting him- there are tangles like threads that drift away from her hands, that wisp away from _him_ each time she runs her hand across his back or over his head.

It's nothing like any spellwork he's seen before. She didn't cast anything else first, or ask him to sit in the middle of a circle, or tell him to stay perfectly still and silent, and he doesn't feel the draining sensation that he associates with active magic. That could be just because she's not making an attempt to break his curse, but it's still much gentler than any spells he's ever had cast or removed before.

"I thought you'd be able to sense that," Plagg says, sounding very satisfied. "There's a _lot_ of magic in you."

"Can she-" Adrien doesn't finish, losing the words in a loud purr as Marinette runs one hand under his chin, checking for any stray spell wisps.

"Break your curse?" Plagg completes, and for the first time he actually sounds sympathetic. "Dunno, kid. Curses're complicated, and yours is the worst I've seen.  It's all knots and snags and tangles, someone either knew exactly what they were doing _or_ was flying totally blind, there's no middle ground there. Either someone really meant it or they _really_ screwed up."

Adrien wilts a little bit. "So you don't think she can."

"Kid." Plagg sits down and tilts his head, studying Adrien again like he can see more than just the broken spells. "I'm not gonna lie to you about it. I've been around a long time, and I've never seen anyone with a curse this thoroughly embedded. I can't even find an anchor. I don't know if it can still _be_ broken." His whiskers twitch.  "But hey, you picked up how to sense that spell practically on instinct, you could always do like me and find yourself a witch that needs a familiar."

If Marinette weren't still petting him Adrien would recoil.

Plagg's probably right, about his curse.  Adrien already knew it was bad; multiple attempts to break it have never made a dent. He knew that when he ran away, and he _is_ going to have to figure out what kind of life he can have if it really can't be broken at all.

But he's also seen the way his father treats his familiar and he isn't about to put himself through that. "That's just another kind of trap."

Plagg scoffs and puts his front paws on Marinette's knee, leaning over to headbutt the smaller cat. Another broken bit of magic drifts away. "Dunno where you got your info, kit, but it isn't. You see my witch anywhere around here?"

Adrien starts to say something and stops. "Wait, you mean- Marinette's not yours?"

"Nah." Plagg drops down and stretches, yawning loudly. "She's apprenticed to mine, so I help look after her. Mine's Tikki. She's not even _in_ Paris right now." He flicks his tail and adds, "And not a leash or collar spell in sight, which, you know, better than you're doing. You should at least think about it, kid."

"Done," Marinette says finally, lifting her hands, and Adrien almost chases after them for a second despite himself. "That should be all of them, Chat Noir. Did you know there were multiple spells?" She studies him with a furrow between her brows, and when he shakes his head she sighs. "I didn't think so. I should have stopped and asked you, really, but they were all woven together and you seemed so frantic to get the leash off- I still should have asked, I'm sorry."

Adrien doesn't know how to tell her it's okay (no one's _ever_ asked), so he ducks his head against her side and purrs louder. (Now that he knows he _can_ purr he isn't sure why he never has).

"Point taken," Marinette says wryly. "But it's late, and Nino won't be available until sometime tomorrow. Why don't we get some sleep?"

Adrien looks at the window, but Plagg jumps back up in front of it and curls up, flicking his tail over his eyes.

"Ignore him," Marinette says, exasperated. "If you want to go back outside I'm not going to stop you."

"Still raining, though," Plagg says, not opening his eyes. "And I doubt you got any better at hunting in the past hour and a half. Tell her you're hungry, she'll find you something to eat."

He _is_ hungry, but. "How do I tell her that?"

"Ohhh man," Plagg groans, twitching his tail out of the way so that he can open one eye and glare. "You _are_ actually a human, aren't you.  You're not even a _convincing_ cat."

Adrien tries to scowl at him, but it's not an expression that translates well to feline features. "Can't you just give me an answer? I think you kind of owe me for dragging me in here without an explanation!"

"Yep, sorry, next time I'll leave you cold and shaking with a half-broken _tracking spell_ leading anyone who knows to look for it straight to you," Plagg purrs, dropping his tail across his face again. " _Meow_ at her, kid, she'll figure it out. Witches are good for that."

"Is Plagg giving you advice?" Marinette asks, amused, absently running one hand over his head before seeming to catch herself. "He must really like you."

Plagg scoffs, but he doesn't move.

This time when Adrien starts to chase after Marinette's hand she sees him do it. She doesn't say anything about it but she does start petting him again. He wants to pull away, but he also wants her to _never stop_ , and he ends up staying where he is.

"I don't have a cat bed," she says, apologetically. "Plagg doesn't really like them, so I've never bought one. My bed's pretty big, though, if you don't mind sharing? Or there's the chaise lounge."

"This is painful," Plagg groans, and then lets out a loud, demanding meow.

Marinette looks up. "Plagg, you can't be hungry, I know you were out hunting before you found- oh." She looks back down at Adrien. "Are _you_ hungry?"

Adrien hesitates, then nods.

"Okay," Marinette says, sounding a little lost for the first time. "Uh- Plagg doesn't really eat- look, let's go into the kitchen and you can show me what you'd like, okay? Do you want me to carry you or do you want to walk?"

He doesn't think he'd mind being carried as much as he usually does- Marinette seems like she’d be careful, and it would be nice to see things from above shin level again- but he also thinks he should learn more of the layout of her home since Plagg seems determined to make him stay for at least the night, so he jumps down.

"Follow me, then," Marinette says, getting up and lifting a trapdoor.

She talks to him as he follows her down, including him automatically in a way he's not used to even when he _isn't_ a cat. "My parents are out of the country right now and Nino's out on a job, so we have the place to ourselves. Normally my teacher, Tikki, would come stay while our parents are gone, but she had business out of town, too, so mostly Plagg's just been keeping an eye on things." They make it to the kitchen and she waves him in ahead of her. "You can jump up on the counter, it's fine. You don't seem to shed like Plagg does."

The counter looks a lot higher than he'd like, but Adrien still tries for it.

He misses.

Giggling, Marinette says, "Want a hand up, kitty?"

Hanging his head, he slinks over to her and waits for her to lift him onto the counter. He still doesn't really _like_ being picked up but Marinette is very gentle.

He isn't going back, and he has no reason to disbelieve what Plagg told him about his curse. At some point he's going to have to get _used_ to being so much smaller than everyone else.

"Okay," Marinette says, once he's perched safely. "So this is where I'm not really... sure what to do. Plagg kind of eats everything but mostly cheese, and I know that's not normal for a cat. But... I don't know what's normal for _you_ , either."

Honestly, neither does Adrien. He's never managed to escape long enough for it to be an issue. He tries to shrug but he doesn't really have the build for it anymore.

"Okay, well." Marinette takes a deep breath and opens the freezer. "I've got... well, cake, but _that_ can't be good for you, uh... chicken? Oh!" She pulls out a box and waves it at him. "I've got some breaded fish, if you don't mind waiting for me to cook it."

"Sounds good?" Adrien tries uncertainly, suddenly very aware both that they'd left Plagg upstairs and that he still isn't sure how to communicate with Marinette.

"Um." Marinette casts around for a second, then holds the box out to him. "Just, tap it for yes, all right?"

He meows and reaches out to bat at the box.

"Yeah, you are not a normal cat," Marinette says under her breath, but she turns to start the oven and starts opening the box. "Guess we'll be up a little later than I anticipated, but you do look a little thin, Chat Noir. Plagg seems to like you, he might be willing to give you some pointers on hunting."

There is absolutely no way Adrien is asking Plagg how to hunt. He does not need that level of humiliation in his life.

(Plagg has all his claws, anyway. _He's_ not trying to hunt with a handicap).

Adrien says none of that because there's no point, electing instead to slump down over the counter while they wait. Then he sits back up, because he's a lot more tired than he thought, and he has the vague idea that it would be rude to fall asleep right now.

"Chat Noir?" Marinette asks, taking a seat at the counter and resting her arms just in front of him. "I don't want to be rude, but are you male? My friend Alya is nonbinary and I don't want to use the wrong pronouns for you."

Adrien has _no idea_ what that means, but he's definitely male so he nods anyway.

"Thanks," Marinette says, relaxing a little. "Uh- Alya goes by they and them, but I do use she and hers. And you'll meet Nino tomorrow- today, technically- he uses he and him and- sorry, I guess I don't really need to go over this right now."  She leans on the counter, propping her head on one hand tiredly. "Would it be all right if I pet you again, Chat Noir? You were purring so much earlier and, well, Plagg doesn't really like to be pet."

Adrien has some trouble imagining that. No one's _ever_ pet him before tonight, _and_ he wouldn't have thought that he'd enjoy it if they had, and already he wants more. He pushes his head against Marinette's arms with a low trill, hoping it gets his point across.

"I will take that as a yes, then," Marinette says, amused, and starts stroking very gently along his head and back. He turns and pushes his head into her hands and she scratches along his chin again, too. " _Wow_ you are a fluffy cat."

And Plagg doesn't _like_ this? No wonder the older cat is such a grouch.

They almost miss the beep of the oven preheating because Marinette is half asleep and Adrien is busy twisting around to try and get her to pet every part of his head and back. He wouldn't normally because she already definitely knows he's not a normal cat, but she _doesn't_ know he's human, and if Plagg is right about his curse being that difficult to break then she's not likely to ever find out. He is sadly willing to take advantage of the fact that she _asked_ to pet him for as long as possible. It would almost be worth it to stay for this alone.

Almost.

But Adrien knows what it's like for Nooroo and he's not about to take that kind of risk. Plagg does seem happy enough, but he has no guarantee that Plagg's even telling the truth.

Adrien stills when he thinks about that more, though. Plagg _does_ seem happy, and if he _is_ telling the truth he might be both willing and able to help Nooroo. Adrien can't; he can't get Nooroo out himself, he can barely get _himself_ out, and he has no one to _tell_. Nathalie already knows and never says anything, his father never brings Nooroo out around anyone else, and when Adrien does manage to get loose it's inevitably in a form that makes communicating next to impossible. If Marinette weren't actively trying to hold a conversation with him they wouldn't be accomplishing anything.

But she _is_ trying.

And Plagg can understand him.

If he can trust Plagg- and he's not totally convinced of that just yet, seeing as Plagg _did_ basically catnap him- then Plagg might be able to help Nooroo.

"You look a little lost in thought there, Chat Noir," Marinette says, yawning, before getting up to get the fish out of the oven. She goes back to petting him while it cools, although she asks his permission again first.

She asks permission before doing _anything_ to him, he realises slowly. It's weird, but it's also incredibly reassuring. He's relaxing a little already in spite of himself, secure in the knowledge that she really isn't going to grab him or cast anything on him without at least giving him some warning first.

After he's eaten (and Marinette doesn't eat any of the fish, which means she made it just because he was hungry, which he feels very strange about) they retreat back to her room. This time he does let her carry him, even though it still makes him nervous.

Marinette immediately asks him again where he'd rather sleep.

"There's always the chaise lounge, and I have extra blankets if you want them, but you're not a large cat like Plagg. You could always sleep on the bed," she says, setting him on the chaise lounge and crouching down in front of him.

Adrien hesitates. He knows which he would prefer, but she still thinks he's a _cat_ , if a weird one. It doesn't seem fair.

"Ohhh my gods," Plagg groans from where he's still standing sentinel at the window. "Kid, just sleep on the bed. She offered, and you are painfully, _obviously_ touch-starved."

"I'm what?" Adrien asks, but he does take a tentative step forward to look between Marinette and the bed with a quiet mew.

"Were you raised in a damn convent or something?" Plagg demands. "It's a human thing. Humans need to touch each other sometimes, it's a whole psychological _thing_."

"I never said I was human," Adrien says, pacing forward to let Marinette pick him back up- he's not actually coordinated enough to trust himself on the ladder up to her bed.

"No, but you're kind of a terrible cat, so I made an assumption," Plagg says dryly.

Marinette sets him down again carefully as soon as they're near enough for her to do so safely. She's a lot more cautious and respectful about carrying him than he's used to. Nathalie and his father have both _always_ tended to just grab him without any warning, and though he thinks it's just because the man can be awkward the Gorilla is just as bad. When his mother was still around she was a little better about it but that was a long time ago now- he didn't run away quite so often, then.

Adrien starts off curled up at one corner of the bed, not intending to intrude on Marinette's space, but somehow when he wakes up briefly some time later he's curled up much more comfortably in the crook of her arm. He means to move but he falls back asleep before he can.

They let him sleep in. He isn't used to that, either.

It's Plagg that wakes him, batting at him until Adrien rouses with a grumble.

"Hey, kid, get up," Plagg says, unconcerned. "Nino's here. You know, the one your witch called last night to help you?"

"She's not _my_ witch," Adrien snaps, suddenly much more awake.

Plagg grins at him with way too many teeth.  That might not actually be a grin. "Maybe. But you didn't exactly take a lot of convincing to stay with her."

"It was raining," Adrien hisses.

Plagg licks one of his front paws, then reaches out to groom Adrien with it as the smaller cat splutters. "That didn't seem to bother you _before_ she fed you."

Adrien freezes, frantically trying to remember whether food offerings are involved in binding a familiar. He was too young to remember how his father got Nooroo, though, and it's not a topic Nathalie covered in any of his lessons.

Plagg bats him again. "Will you- _stop_ that, you paranoid idiot. A meal's not binding, you're _fine_.  Not that she doesn't ask about everything, which you really should have noticed by now, but a cat _can't_ be a familiar unless they _agree_ to it."

"But I'm not really a cat," Adrien protests, tail lashing with anxiety. He's never heard of that before. He can't imagine that Nooroo would have agreed, but maybe Plagg means cats specifically for some reason. He doesn't _know_.

Plagg's own tail flicks as he does something just similar enough to a shrug to be recognizable. "Close enough to count. Now be quiet for a minute if you want to keep any secrets, Nino's here."

Adrien opens his mouth to ask Plagg what he means, but then the trapdoor slams open and sends him flinching back. Plagg tilts his head at the clear overreaction but doesn't comment outright on it.

"Chat Noir?" Marinette calls, shutting the trapdoor much more gently than her companion had opened it. "Chat Noir, this is my brother Nino. Would you like to come down to meet him, or do you want him to come up to you? Or do you want to wait a little bit so you're more used to him?"

"He's not so good with the choices," Plagg shouts back down.

"Hey!" Adrien says, annoyed.

"Name one choice you made since you got here that I didn't help you with," Plagg challenges, eyes gleaming, and Adrien doesn't really have an answer for that.

"Okay," a new voice says, after a brief pause. "Then I'll give you five minutes, and if you haven't come here then I'll come up to you. Does that sound all right?"

Adrien blinks. "Wait, did he just- answer you?"

"Yeah?" Plagg looks at him strangely. "You never met anyone with Wildspeech before? Wow, never mind, I can see you haven't. Did not know a cat could look that confused, honestly. Nino can talk to animals."

"There are people who can do that?" Adrien whispers. There are people who can talk to animals. There are people out there that _he_ could have talked to, all this time.

"Kid, I am beginning to be concerned about the weird gaps in your education," Plagg says.  " _Yeah_ , there are people who can do that. They're kinda rare but they're not _that_ hard to find."

"Oh," Adrien says quietly, curling his tail around his feet. No one ever told him that.

It's becoming apparent that no one's ever told him a whole lot of things.

In the end he slinks down rather than Nino coming up. Well, he tries to, anyway; he trips and would have gone falling off the ladder, but Plagg jumps down and catches him before setting him lightly on the ground.

"Thanks," Adrien says grudgingly and Plagg snickers and sits down right next to him, a weirdly comforting buffer when Nino and Marinette join them on the floor.

It's nice that they're making an effort not to loom. Adrien has never quite gotten used to how much bigger than him everyone is when he's transformed, and he's too used to people sneaking up on him to pick him up and throw him in his carrier and haul him back home. (They didn't use to bring the carrier. He's jumped out of more than one moving vehicle.  He just- he just wants to get _out_ ).

Nino- doesn't look anything like Marinette. Adrien does a double take before he can help it.

Nino snorts. "I know, little dude. I'm adopted. Yes, they still had to tell me, yes, it was very funny."

Marinette knocks her shoulder against his and tells him, "It's still funny."

"Listen, Plagg's a cat, Tikki's looked like she's in our twenties our whole lives, and I've been dating Alya for years. Appearances are confusing, okay?" Nino says, making a face. "Do you want me to bring up those like five months Plagg had _you_ convinced you were a changeling?"

"Are you ever gonna let me live that down?" Marinette demands.

"Absolutely not," Nino says, before leaning back on his elbows rather than forward into Adrien's space. "All right, little dude. Normally we'd just trace a broken leash spell to your owner, but Plagg clearly thinks something's shady about that, and Marinette said you were pretty frantic to have it off. So. Do you mind explaining?"

Adrien isn't sure where to start.  At this point he's no longer totally sure what's happening. He starts to say something and then stops, and then to his surprise Plagg leans over and puts one paw on top of his. "Just start talking, kid, you haven't done anything wrong." Plagg sniffs. "Except for the way you were trying to hunt. _That_ , you were definitely doing wrong."

"I've never had to before," Adrien snaps back before he can stop himself, and then he tries to step back away from Nino and Marinette but he backs right into Plagg.

"Why not?" is all Nino says, calmly.

"Just _tell him_ ," Plagg says, exasperated.

"I'm not a cat," Adrien blurts, frantic and relieved all at once. "It's a curse, I'm not a cat, I'm- I'm human. Usually. I just- I turn into a cat if I leave the grounds, the leash spell is just how they keep _finding_ me.  I'm not a pet, I'm _human_." His voice breaks, but it sounds like a kitten mewling and he _knows_ it, shivering at the stark reminder that they probably still won't see him as human.  It's become increasingly rare for _anyone_ to remember that he's still a human even when he's transformed.

Adrien's been cursed all his life. He's never had to _explain_ it before.

He didn't think it would upset him this much.

Nino blinks and leans forward again, suddenly enough that Adrien _does_ flinch into Plagg, who doesn't move. For the first time the fact that Plagg's more than twice his size doesn't make Adrien anxious. Plagg could have hurt him if he'd wanted to, but instead he'd brought him to people who might be able to _help_.  "Okay, I kind of expected the curse thing when she said Plagg brought you. But can you explain the leash again?  And, uh, leave in a little more information if you can?"

Marinette makes a soft noise. "So he _is_ like you, Plagg?"

Adrien turns to stare at Plagg.

The older cat twitches a whisker at him. "What, you think you got a monopoly on curses? There's a _reason_ I dragged you in here.  I've known these kids for ages, and I haven't exactly been bothering to hide it."

"But you're-" Adrien droops a little. He can't help it.  He didn't know how hard he was still hoping until the last of that hope was crushed.  "You're still cursed."

Plagg headbutts him. "Sure, kid, but that's because I didn't _want_ it broken."

"What?" Adrien asks, lost. Nino's still listening and Marinette's still watching, but they don't seem inclined to interrupt.

"I don't want it broken," Plagg repeats patiently, starting to groom himself again, occasionally reaching over to groom Adrien instead. Adrien flinches again, but Plagg doesn't seem to mean anything by it, and gradually he starts to relax. "Bein' human never did me any favours, and I _like_ being a cat. When Tikki finally agreed to let me be her familiar I knew I didn't need it broken. There's a lot of human stuff I'm plain not interested in, so I'm good."

"Agreed to let you?" Adrien repeats.

Plagg gives him another strange look. "Well that does it, whoever's been teaching you has been doing a lousy job. Yeah, kid, a proper familiar has a _contract_ , both sides have to _agree_. And cats specifically can't be bound without both giving _and_ getting permission. Who the hell have you been learning from?"

Nino breaks in, quietly. "Probably whoever was willing to put a leash and a collar spell on a human. Chat Noir, do you know that's illegal?"

"It is?" Adrien whispers, feeling even smaller as he crouches in Plagg's shadow. (But Nino called him human, and he feels the way he latches onto that, desperate for someone to acknowledge that _he_ _isn't a cat_ ). Plagg reaches out and runs a paw down the arch of Adrien's spine again, which is a lot more soothing than he's ever going to admit. Then something else Nino said clicks. "Wait, collar?"

"Collar, tags, and a few different leashes," Nino confirms, looking troubled. "Marinette said they were all frayed and broken enough by the time Plagg brought you here that no one should have worked out how to track them anyway, but Chat Noir, that's- that's not _normal_ , and it's _definitely_ not legal. Is there anything else you can tell us? If not about that, then about your curse?"

Adrien doesn't say anything for a moment, shivering worse than before, until Plagg nudges him again. "I, uh. They're kind of related? My father can't break the curse but he can cancel it for a while. I just, it only works if I'm on the property, and it reactivates when I try to leave. So he- he doesn't like me leaving, and he- he never actually told me about the spells, but I can kind of sense them, like this, so I knew they were there, but not how to get them off. They just- the spells kind of snapped a few days ago, and I just started- running."

He sounds more desperate than he would like by the end of that, and he finds himself hunching sideways into Plagg. He still hasn't quite forgiven the older cat for literally dragging him here by the scruff but- there's a boy who can hear him and a girl who can help him and Plagg hasn't been gentle, but he _has_ been kind, in a gruff sort of way.

And it's not the mansion.

It could still turn out to be a cage, but at least it would be a _different_ one.

"Okay, we can work with that," Nino says after an uneasy pause. "Is it all right if I translate that for Marinette?"

Adrien had just kind of assumed he would. "Yes."

While Nino's translating, Plagg lays down. He's so much bigger than Adrien that he can curl his tail all the way around him. "Kid, I don't know if you've caught this yet, but I think a lot of people in your life have lied to you."

Adrien's still shivering miserably. He leans into Plagg when the older cat shifts towards him. "I'm starting to get that."

"Wow, okay, I can see why you wanted them off," Marinette says when Nino's done translating. "Seriously, Chat Noir, there are _laws_ about that. There are laws about curses, too. Laying them, obviously, but also no one is supposed to interfere with it without your permission. I'm- it kind of sounds like no one's ever _asked_ you."

They _haven't_ , and he didn't know there even _were_ curse laws. Adrien can't answer her; he just drops his head to his paws unhappily.

His father loves him, he's pretty sure. He's bad at _showing_ it but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it. He's always said that everything he does is to keep Adrien safe.

But he's never asked permission, he's never told Adrien that there are laws that cover his situation, and he's never seemed to care that all the rules and restrictions hedging his very existence have been driving Adrien gradually insane.

"Kid?" Plagg asks, cautiously.

"M'name's not kid," Adrien mumbles. "It's-"

Plagg twists and pounces on him.

Adrien lets out a yelp, twisting free, and glares at the other cat.

"Plagg," Marinette scolds.

"No, he had a reason," Nino manages, looking pale. "Chat Noir was giving him his name."

Adrien stills. Nino said that like it was significant somehow, and now Marinette's gone pale, too.

" _You_ need a decent teacher," Plagg says, bristling, and Adrien cowers instinctively because Plagg is _already_ so much bigger than him.

Plagg backs off in an instant, but he stays nearby. He starts purring until Adrien uncoils a little.

Adrien is unnervingly sure that Plagg is purring to make _him_ feel better.

"No one's ever told you not to give out your name?" Nino asks. He looks increasingly upset. "I- you can't _do_ that, dude. People can _use_ that."

"But I know yours," Adrien protests, baffled.

"Yeah, but we each have two," Nino replies patiently. "You know our everyday names, not our working ones, and I'm kind of guessing you only have the one."

Adrien's confused again.

It must show, because Marinette takes over explaining. "The name that better defines you is the one that can be used against you, and you should only share it with people you trust. You _should_ have two names, but if you don't then you shouldn't share yours with us. You shouldn't share it with anyone, you should give them a nickname instead. Nino and I can give your our names because our working ones are our true names."

"I didn't know," Adrien says, feeling very small.

"You _need_ a teacher," Plagg repeats forcefully.

"Are you volunteering, Plagg?" Nino asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean." Plagg heaves a sigh. "Where else am I gonna find a hopeless case with the same damn curse? Yeah, if he wants to be taught, I'll teach him." He swats at Adrien, but he doesn't connect. "I'll even teach him how to hunt if he wants to learn that, because you would not believe how _bad_ he is at it."

" _You_ try it without front claws," Adrien snaps, back to being annoyed, and not yet sure about the offer of teaching. Clearly there have been a lot more holes in his education than he ever knew but he also met these people less than a day ago.

(They're the kindest people he's ever met, even Plagg).

"Wait," Nino says. "Wait, you don't- okay. Chat Noir, can I see your front paws?"

With extreme reluctance, Adrien stretches out both front paws. Nino leans over to inspect them and Marinette follows.

"You're _declawed_?" Marinette says, sounding floored. "I don't think that's even supposed to be _possible_."

Adrien jerks. "It's not?"

"I mean, _maybe_ if there's something up with your hands, dude, but I can't really think of anything that'd translate into declawing," Nino tells him. "I think that's gotta be curse related."

"It's _layered_ ," Marinette breathes, and suddenly scrambles up to grab a pen and paper. "It's a layered curse. I've never seen _any_ layered spell done properly, I don't even know how someone would _start_ layering a _curse_ -"

"Aaand we've lost her," Nino sighs. "Well, little dude.  Plagg's willing to teach you, and it sounds like Marinette's more than willing to study your curse. If you want her to she'll- well, I dunno if she can break it if it's really that complicated, but she can probably at least make it less restrictive. And my room's just down the hall if you need a translator. Do you wanna stay?"

It sounds too good to be true. He'd have a teacher, a translator, and someone willing to work on his curse. That's more good luck than he's ever had in his _life._

But it does seem to be true.

(And he has nowhere else to go).

"I'll stay," he says finally, quietly. "I don't... really know what else I would do, anyway."

"Aw, hey, I'm sure you would manage without us," Nino says, gently. "You seem like a smart dude. But as long as we're offering to help you might as well take advantage, right?"

"I don't have anything to offer in return, though," Adrien says, slumping down over his front paws.

"Ehh." Plagg bats at him, but Adrien finally knows the signs well enough to duck. "I haven't had a student in decades. Ever, actually. Could be fun."

"How old _are_ you?" Adrien blurts.

"As old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth." Plagg stretches and stands up. "Which reminds me, how old are _you_?"

"Sixteen," Adrien says quietly. He's very sure of that. His father tries a more complicated spell every year on his birthday to try and break the curse again.

He's usually a cat a lot more often for the month surrounding his birthday.

"Our age," Nino mutters to Marinette, and a little bit of tension goes out of them both. For the first time it occurs to Adrien that they probably thought he was younger. Plagg's obviously a full grown cat, but Adrien still looks like a kitten, and Plagg's size doesn't help that impression.

"Now come on, kid, I'd take you hunting but apparently I need to correct some ridiculous errors in your knowledge first," Plagg says. "If you're that ready to blurt out your damn _name_ then those holes ain't safe."

"Wait," Marinette blurts, looking up as Plagg moves towards the bed. "Wait, I- I think I can make it so he's not declawed.  If I have your permission, Chat Noir?" she asks, looking at him expectantly.

Plagg sits back down. "Go on, kid. And that's like the first thing you should have learned, by the way, no one should be casting anything at all on you without _asking_ first."

"But he's my father," Adrien says, softly.

"Dude.  _Not_ cool." Nino reaches towards him, not touching him, but waiting until Adrien presses forward himself. "It doesn't matter if your dad's the _Pope_ , he still has to _ask_ you."

"Oh," Marinette says, quietly. "Uh, Nino- I'll wait til you're back to translate, but- I think you should get Alya after all." She turns to address Adrien again. "We didn't want to overwhelm you with too many strangers at once, but our friend Alya is going to be staying here for a little bit, too. They'll be just down the hall with Nino. They're an Illusionist, but they also study arcane law.  Chat Noir, it sounds like someone broke a _lot_ of laws that are supposed to _protect_ you."

"I'll get them," Nino promises. Then he looks at Adrien, too. "They've been waiting downstairs so I'll only be like two minutes, but is there anything you want me to translate first?"

"Yes," Adrien says quickly. "She can do the spell. I want- I don't like being declawed."

"He says cast it," Nino relays, and Marinette nods before Nino vanishes through the trapdoor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen, my folks had to tell my brothers and me that one of our childhood friends was adopted, it had never actually occurred to _any_ of us despite being _really obvious_
> 
> i dont think they knew whether they should be proud or kind of concerned


	3. make your own

Immediately, Adrien's nervous again.

Plagg must know, somehow, because he comes back and nudges Adrien in the side until he moves closer to Marinette.

"It's okay, Chat Noir," Marinette says gently. "It's a little more complicated than taking those spell remnants off was, I'll admit, but it'll be okay."

She doesn't tell him it won't hurt, which he appreciates. His father's always telling him not to be so afraid of new spells, that it won't hurt whenever he tries again to break the curse and it _always hurts_. It always stings and itches and leaves him feeling like he doesn't fit quite right in either form for anywhere from a day to a week.

"I do want to document it first, though, if that's okay?" Marinette asks him. "I'd just be taking some pictures and asking Nino and Alya to write down statements. Technically I should have done that for the leash spells, too, but the laws are pretty lenient about getting rid of those, because they were never intended for humans."

"Kid?" Plagg asks when Adrien doesn't move. "She won't do it without your permission. You should let her, though, if you want to have a legal case."

"She means that?" Adrien says, more to himself than to Plagg.

"Kid, it _wasn't okay_ ," Plagg tells him, weirdly gentle. "It wasn't legal and it wasn't okay. Let her take the pictures."

"I- all right," Adrien says, trying very hard not to hunch in on himself and failing.

It doesn't take Marinette long at all to make sure she has evidence. She takes a couple pictures on her phone, but she also takes a few with a digital camera and even one with an ancient beast of a Polaroid.

"Might as well cover all our bases," she tells him as she sets that one aside. "Mind you, I don't think that camera would still _work_ if it wasn't Tikki's, but they have a well-deserved reputation for being impossible to spell against. I should have enough, Chat Noir, but Alya will probably have Nino ask you and Plagg for statements later."

"Thanks," Adrien says, though without Nino to translate he has no idea if he gets the message across, and Nino's still not back.

He wants Nino back. He wants to feel like talking to someone's not as impossible as he's always thought (as his father's always told him).

(But even when Nino's not in the room, Marinette doesn't ignore Plagg the way Adrien's father ignores _him_ ).

"Let me grab a couple things from the vanity over there and I'll be right back," Marinette says, getting up slowly enough not to startle Adrien. She's back in only a moment with a handful of supplies; he sees red thread first, then an incense holder and two shallow dishes, and then he sees a candle and starts to back away.

"Shit, kid," Plagg says, catching him. "What _did_ they do to you? Those are all pretty basic spell components."

"Even the candle?" Adrien manages, pressing away from Marinette and being brought up short by Plagg's solid bulk.

"Yeah," Plagg says, sounding disturbed. "Yeah, the candles are pretty standard, she uses one for the Southern quarter when she's casting. Sometimes she uses more to help her focus, but that's _it_ , kid, you never have to be near them. Technically you don't even have to be _in_ the circle."

"I don't?" Adrien asks, peering up at Plagg.

"Fu- No!" Plagg exclaims, before ducking his head with an inaudible mutter, grabbing Adrien by the scruff and dragging him away from Marinette's circle.

"Don't _do_ that," Adrien cries as soon as Plagg lets go, whirling around to glare at him. "I _hate_ it when people do that."

"I'm only moving you away from- when _people_ do that?" Plagg's eyes narrow. "Kid, if anyone else tries to do that, you _bite_ them."

"You think I've never tried?" Adrien snaps. "Muzzles _suck_."

Plagg actually physically recoils. " _Shit_ , kid, I'm glad they're bringing the Illusionist in. That is not a thing that you should know. This spell better really give you your claws back, because obviously _you need them_."

Marinette's been watching their antics with a worried expression, but it's only now that she speaks up. "This has the best chance of working if it involves all of us. Plagg, Nino and Alya have worked with me before, but would you be willing to hold the Northern quarter? I know you don't usually cast but in this case it should improve our odds. I think the curse is similar enough for you to affect it."

With one last glance at Adrien, Plagg stalks over to that part of the circle and sits down, tail curling around the shallow dish of dirt Marinette places. Marinette takes the East side of the circle with an incense holder, and when Nino comes back she waves him over to the candle in the South. The last person, the one Adrien hasn't met yet, takes a shallow dish of water to the West.

People are more smells and impressions to him than they are sights in this form, but he still gets an overwhelming sense of _flannel_.

"Hello, Chat Noir," they greet him enthusiastically. "So you're where all that good luck I was promised got to. I'm Alya, it's nice to meet you. Wish it was under better circumstances."

"Don't we all," Plagg mutters, still sending upset glances Adrien's way before addressing Nino. "Hey, he doesn't wanna be in the circle, can you pass it on? Bad experiences, sounds like."

"You didn't have to _add_ that," Adrien hisses, embarrassed.

"Like they can't figure that one out," Plagg returns. "You're not exactly subtle, kid."

"Okay, seriously, do you want to go to the police?" Nino demands. "Because I feel like we should be going to the police."

"No!" Adrien rears back. "No, I- they'll just give me back to my father." And- as badly as he doesn't want to go back, he doesn't really believe that any of what's happened to him is worth going to the _police_ over. Maybe his father _has_ been breaking laws, but it had still been to protect him.  Hadn't it?

"Not once they hear you _phrase_ it like that they won't," Nino mutters cryptically. "We won't go if you don't want to. But think about it? Please? And Marinette, he doesn't want to be in the circle."

"That's all right," Marinette says. "But can you come here for a second, Chat Noir? You don't have to stay, but this is what I grabbed the thread for. Look-" She holds out her left hand. The thread is looped lightly around her wrist, and when Adrien slinks reluctantly closer he can see that Nino and Alya are doing the same, and Plagg holds out a paw for Nino to loop thread around as well.

Tentatively, Adrien shuffles close enough to reach a paw towards Nino, who's closest.

"Here you go, little dude," Nino says, wrapping it very gently and loosely around Adrien's left paw. "I think she wants me to do both, is that okay?"

"Both is better," Marinette confirms. "It's both your front paws, we should all use both our wrists, too. That includes you, Plagg."

Plagg sniffs and extends his other paw towards Nino just as Adrien does the same.

"All right, miss witch," Alya says when everyone but Adrien's resettled around the circle. Adrien's retreated to the chaise lounge, awkward with the thread trailing loose, but he didn't want Nino to tie it any tighter and he _definitely_ doesn't want to be any closer. "Do you have an actual incantation, or are you casting with pop music again?"

Marinette laughs. "First of all, blame Tikki. Second, it's Spiral Dance, so I guess split the difference?"

Alya raises an eyebrow. "Not _remotely_ what that means, but sure."

Marinette raises her voice a little. "You don't have to be anywhere in particular, Chat Noir, so long as it's in the room. There are enough of us here that it shouldn't matter if you're in the circle or not." She waits a moment more, then says, "Everyone ready?"

Alya and Nino answer in the affirmative and Plagg meows loudly.

"Chat Noir?" Marinette asks politely.

He startles a little bit and looks at Plagg. "Doesn't she- doesn't she have to cast the first spell?"

" _What_ first spell?" Plagg asks suspiciously, sitting back on his haunches, which seems to signal everyone else to wait.

"The-" Adrien's shivering, _again_. He can't seem to stop. He doesn't _like_ the spell, but at least it keeps him from _panicking_. "I don't know what it's called. It just. It calms emotions?" he tries, a little desperately.

Plagg _hisses_ and Adrien recoils. "Kid, no, I didn't mean- that wasn't at you. That is- that is not a thing.  That spell _exists_ , but it's not _for_ that, and no one should use it that way. If they do it means you can't really consent to whatever spell they're _actually_ casting."

"Oh," Adrien says, very quietly, staring at his tail. "So you don't- but it- but it helps me calm down."

"No, kid, it _forces_ you to calm down," Plagg says, with enough bite in his voice that Adrien finds himself backing partway underneath the chaise lounge. "No one should be doing that to you."

"But if it's necessary," Adrien tries, not even sure what he's trying to explain.

"It's not!" Plagg exclaims, his tail bushing out. "It's _not_ , kid. If you're that freaked out about having something cast that they're _spelling_ you calm, then they shouldn't be casting on you at _all_. Gods above. Are you sure you're okay for _this_ spell?"

 _No._ "I- I do want- I don't like being declawed." Adrien finally glances up at the others again.

Nino looks _sick_ , and Marinette and Alya are both giving him worried looks.

"I'll tell you later," Nino tells Marinette quietly.

"No, don't!" Adrien cries, cringing. It's bad enough that Plagg and Nino know, that he's said enough for them to realise Adrien thought it was a normal part of spellcasting.

It's been cast on him every time he can remember.

"I won't if you don't want me to," Nino assures him hastily. "But dude, we're trying to be _careful_ with you. You should think about letting them know. Also? The _police_ , seriously."

" _Don't_ ," he manages, miserably. He's not sure he _wants_ them to be careful with him. He's kind of upset that they already feel like they have to be.

He's not ready to even think about going to anyone in authority. He still doesn't know that he'd be justified in going, and he can't imagine how much more panicked he'd be if he had to meet anyone else. This is _already_ a lot of people at once.

Marinette takes a deep breath. "Okay, let's- try that again. Is everyone ready?" There's a round of agreement, but it's Adrien she's watching. "Chat Noir?"

"I- yes, ready," he says, startled all over again, and he hears Plagg snort while Nino's repeating his assent.

Marinette takes another deep breath and starts singing softly. Her singing voice is probably pretty good but now that they're actually casting Adrien is much too full of anxiety to pay much attention.

(Nino's drumming on his knee and even though Adrien _knows_ it's part of the spell he can't stop watching the sharp motions of Nino's hands warily).

"Through the dark and cold winter long, we hold together in ancient song, waiting for the spring to set us free by oak and ash and rowan tree," Marinette sings. Adrien thought the others would, too, but they don't; Nino keeps drumming, but Alya only watches and listens, gaze alert and intent. "We dance all night 'til the sun does rise and spread its beams across the skies, then we'll speak our secrets wise, in the arms of the great stone circle-"

Adrien hunches over his front paws, feeling them start to ache more than normal, start to itch. It's not as bad as most of the spells his father or Nathalie or both have cast, but it's weird and invasive and he doesn't _like_ it and he wants it to be _over_.

He might possibly have some hang-ups about being around active magic at all.

Marinette keeps singing as Adrien flexes his paws, trying to relieve both the new itching and the old, dull pain in them that he's too used to not thinking about very much. "And if we go round widdershins, there's faerie folk who live within; it's nine times nine we dance and spin, in the arms of the great stone circle. Light, light, a fire in the night, jump through the flames as the flames burn bright-" Her voice is still measured and calm, but there's sweat dripping down her forehead, and Nino and Alya look like they're starting to droop. Plagg isn't, Plagg is still sitting up with his tail curled around himself in a neat sweep.

Plagg looks at him and does the same whisker-twitch he'd demonstrated the night before.

Adrien tries it immediately and it's such a _relief_. The spell's not as alarming when he can sense it more clearly. It smells green and it tastes like growing things; it has none of the pervasively bitter metal that characterizes his father's spells, none of the cloyingly sweet scent that wraps Nathalie's.

The green and growing comes from Marinette, but it tangles with the scent of clean steel from Nino and cedar incense from Alya (even though they aren't the one with the incense and it isn't cedar anyway) and a sound like winter moonlight and rust from Plagg.

All of that warps and wefts into something that feels solid in the air, something that traces each of the red threads around everyone's wrists in turn, and then turns and slams into Chat Noir.

(That's the first time he thinks of himself as Chat Noir, but it won't be the last).

The threads on his paws fall away and crumble into dust as he flexes his paws one last time and for the first time claws extend.  It doesn't even _hurt_. In fact, his paws don't hurt at all, and he'd thought that was a normal part of his transformation.

He looks up in time to see everyone else's thread crumble away, too.

"It worked?" Marinette asks him, craning her neck anxiously as Plagg abandons his post to amble over to Adrien.

"It worked," the older cat confirms, nodding before Nino can translate. "Kid's got claws again."

"Again?" Adrien says, flexing and extending his claws just because he _can_ , fascinated. "Plagg, I never had them."

Plagg ducks his head to inspect Adrien's claws himself. "No, kid, you don't _remember_ having them. Marinette's a witch of creation, so technically she could restore them either way, but that spell is for restoring what you _lost_. I don't know what happened to you, but you _had_ them." He sits upright with a flick of his tail. "And you have them back. Do you actually want to go out hunting?"

Adrien can't look at him. "No, not- not really." The claws gave him a believable reason, but to be completely honest he never wanted to go hunting at all. He'd just been hungry enough to try.

"Then as soon as we've all gotten something to eat I can figure out what to teach you first," Plagg declares, straightening up again and flicking his tail.

"Gotten something to eat?" Adrien echoes, trotting after Plagg as he weaves around the humans. Marinette's directing clean up, but they're able to put everything away very quickly between them. "Is it that late?"

Plagg stops, then shakes his head and starts moving again. "Right, I'm gonna have to start with the _basics_ , how could I forget. Spellwork takes energy, everyone's gonna be hungry." He tilts his head. "And it's late enough that I'm surprised you didn't want breakfast, anyway."

He's pretty sure he hasn't eaten breakfast in years. He does not have to tell Plagg that. "I wasn't casting, though."

"No but the rest of us were casting _on_ you, that still uses some of your energy.  And you have a really ridiculous amount of it, but we still _used_ it, that's why you never cast on anyone without asking. I mean, that and you need permission for the spell's actual effects." Plagg waits just barely long enough for Marinette to open the trapdoor, then streaks past her.

Adrien follows a lot more slowly. If he tries to keep up with Plagg, he's only going to trip over his own paws again, and by now he's relatively sure none of the others are going to step on him even by accident.

They still aren't sure what he can eat so Marinette finds the leftover fish from before and gives him that. He kind of assumes he's sharing with Plagg, but the older cat goes over to the fridge and sinks his claws and teeth into a towel tied around the handle, yanking it open.

"We woulda gotten it, Plagg," Nino says, amused.

Plagg spits out the towel, sitting down to block the door open and reaching in with one paw. "Sure, but now the kid knows how to do it if you're not here." He hauls out a cheese wheel and backs up, letting the door swing shut and then joining them at the table.

"You are shedding everywhere," Marinette tells him.

Plagg looks her dead in the eye and jumps on the table.

(They're already letting Adrien eat at the table. He can't express how grateful he is for that).

Nino looks at Plagg and sighs.

"Oh, come on, your parents won't be back for at least a week," Alya says, breaking off a piece of their sandwich and dropping it on Adrien's plate. "Hey, try that. You guys can just vacuum in here before they come back."

"You are absolutely underestimating how much Plagg sheds." Marinette has a croissant. She also breaks off a piece to hand to Adrien. "Seriously, you would not believe the places we have found fur."

"Mom and Dad can't really complain about him shedding in the kitchen right now though, right?" Nino asks thoughtfully, contributing half a bagel. "They _did_ leave him in charge."

Slowly, Adrien looks up at that.

Plagg is _already_ giving him a smug look.

"He said exactly what you think he said," Plagg says, biting off a hunk of cheese, looking at Adrien's plate like he's considering it, and then swallowing the cheese himself.

That's fine by Adrien. Plagg's cheese smells terrible, and the ham from Alya's sandwich is actually really appealing.

"I'm not making that up, Plagg's in charge," Nino confirms. "Also, technically my godfather, but I think Dad was messing with me that time."

"Okay, honestly?" Alya says. "I have the impression your entire _lives_ have consisted of your parents playing pranks on everyone they know. Seriously, how often _does_ your dad introduce you as twins and then just not explain?"

" _Constantly_ ," Marinette and Nino say in unison.

"But yeah, kid, I am currently the responsible adult," Plagg says, then has to stop while he's laughing.

"That is less reassuring every time you do it," Nino tells him.

"Oh, like you don't laugh when you say it, too." Plagg tears off a minuscule piece of cheese and adds it to Adrien's growing pile of food. "My _point_ is I'm not just a cat, and no one acts like I am. That should be normal, kid.  No one should be casting leash spells or collar spells or _any spells_ on you unless you agreed to it and you shouldn't have any idea what a _muzzle_ is like, damn it."

Nino drops his plate.

" _Plagg_ ," Adrien hisses.

" _Not_ repeating that," Nino says hastily. "Holy _shit_ I am not repeating that, dude that is _not okay_. I- are _you_ okay?"

He is so far from okay. "It was a long time ago." The last time was a month ago, when he'd panicked and bitten Nathalie. He is not going to say that. Any of that. Nino can figure out from what they've said that Adrien bites, and Plagg actually _told_ him to, but he knows not to _admit_ to it.

His father's always angrier at the biting than he ever is about anything else, except for the actual running away.

(They'd muzzled him and then left him in his carrier for _so long_ for 'acting like a wild animal.' He'd just been _scared_ ).

"The _cops_ , dude, I mean it," Nino says, strained. "I will go with you literally any time. Not okay! Also, not legal!"

"Seriously, Chat Noir, we'll all go," Marinette tells him. "You _already_ have plenty of evidence on your side, and we'll all be witnesses for you."

He hesitates, but. "I'm not- I mean-"

Maybe he has to tell them after all.

They _did_ give him his claws back. Maybe it's all right to tell them.

"Dude?" Nino says, worriedly, after a pause.

Adrien hunches over his front paws, flexing his claws nervously, as he says very quietly, "I _did_ bite first, though. I mean, I know not to, and I did anyway."

"That doesn't make it okay," Nino says immediately, frustration evident in his voice. "Chat Noir, _nothing_ would make that okay, that's not something anyone should ever do to you!"

Marinette and Alya don't say anything, and Nino didn't translate for them, but Adrien's still very aware that they're _there_.

His claws dig into the table, very slightly, and he hastily retracts them. "But they- they had a reason to do it. I- I was biting."  His voice drops to a whisper without his meaning to do it, uneven with shame. He _does_ know not to bite, but he'd still gone for Nathalie's hand when she'd tried to put him in the circle. That's the sort of thing that makes his father _have_ to cast the calming spell first.

"There _is_ no reason," Plagg says firmly, dropping another piece of cheese in front of Adrien. "Ever, kid. They _shouldn't have done it_. And frankly, it's been my experience that if you have the urge to bite someone they probably deserve it.  _I've_ bitten plenty of people and I'm _definitely_ gonna bite more."

"O-oh." And Adrien can't imagine Plagg has ever let anyone muzzle him. "I mean, I don't. I don't bite. Anymore. I promise I don't." Not since that last time, anyway, and even then he'd mostly been startled into it.

" _Start_ ," Plagg says.

(Adrien _can't_ ).

Plagg's cheese is still terrible, but Adrien eats the piece of it Plagg handed over anyway, before finally saying, "I don't think I can talk to the police. I'm not- I'm not ready for that."  He's not at all convinced the police won't just send him back home, either as a runaway or as a lost pet. He doesn't think he wants to know which.

"That's all right," Nino assures him. "There's not, like, a time limit on it. Just- let us know when you _are_. _Please_."

They figure out pretty quickly that Adrien is okay with meat and fish, that he can eat bread but doesn't prefer it, and that dairy products and sweets are absolutely out (he's nearly sick when he only _sniffs_ at the chocolate Alya offers him, and he regrets the cheese). Marinette and Nino actually reorder the fridge for him, moving several packages of lunch meat to the same spot as Plagg's Camembert so that it's easy for both cats to reach.

(He is so unbelievably lucky that Plagg found him).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song marinette uses is faerie tale by spiral dance, though she changes the lyrics slightly.


	4. be a lady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (warning at the end of the chapter to avoid minor spoilers)

Alya vanishes into Nino's room once they're done eating, but Nino hesitates to leave. He follows Marinette into the living room instead and Adrien hears him say, "Man, I wish you could give Chat Noir Wildspeech, too."

Adrien's heart leaps, only to fall again immediately when Marinette shakes her head.

She grimaces. "Sorry, both of you. I still don't actually know what I _did_." She sits down on the floor as she starts to explain, gesturing at the space next to her as Nino also opts to ignore the couch and joins his sister on the floor.  Adrien remembers Marinette helping him onto the counter the night before and wonders if they're doing that on purpose. "Nino didn't always have Wildspeech, either. It's actually how we found out I was a witch of creation. I don't know if you've heard of spell misfires?"

"That's what they say happened to my mother," Adrien says softly. He looks at Nino, who's actually half-reaching for him at that, and adds, "You- you can repeat that."

Nino does, and Adrien cautiously moves towards his hand and lowers his head.

And then he freezes, because it hits him suddenly that he's _asking_ someone to pet him, someone who knows now that he's not a cat, like that's- like _he's-_

"Kid," Plagg says dryly, padding into the room after them and stopping to headbutt Adrien very lightly. "Seriously. Touch-starved. It's a human thing.  They get it, you're fine."

Adrien curls over his front paws, extending and retracting his claws without consciously meaning to, as he says very quietly, "But- Marinette said you don't- you don't like it, when people pet you." 

And what exactly does that say about Adrien, when Plagg is the one who actually _wanted_ to stay a cat?

"I don't," Plagg agrees, sitting down and washing his front paws with a distinct air of unconcern. "So they don't. But I'm not you."

"It's all right, Chat Noir," Nino tells him. There's a strain in his voice again- it's not as obvious as it was in the kitchen, but it's there.  "It's up to you, okay? We aren't gonna think any less of you, but if you don't want us to pet you then we won't."

"Oh," Marinette says, quietly, and the guilt in her voice is what makes Adrien's decision for him, because he _does_ appreciate everything she's done since Plagg first dropped him at her feet in the middle of the night. It still takes him a long moment to convince himself to move, but eventually he does creep forward to curl up in the space between the two siblings.

Nino's very slow about reaching for him, as though giving Adrien plenty of time to change his mind. Even once he's let his hand rest carefully just behind Adrien's ears he waits nearly a full minute before he starts petting him.

Marinette reaches for him, too, lightly running two fingers down his spine in a way that makes Adrien arch instinctively up into her touch. His first reaction is to be ashamed of that- it's so obviously not a human reaction- but Plagg rolls his eyes at him as he strolls past and jumps entirely into Nino's lap.

"Just move if you want us to stop," Nino says, brushing his hand over Adrien's head again. Just as Adrien's wondering whether he _should_ move (because it feels even better than he remembers and he's scared if he doesn't stop now he _won't_ ) Plagg starts purring loudly and kneading Nino's jeans.

It's a little harder to be embarrassed, after that.

"Technically, you got caught in a misfire, too," Marinette tells Adrien, scratching behind one of his ears and startling a purr out of him. "I think, anyway. I was casting a really strong luck spell right around the same time those leash spells broke, and then _our_ luck all stayed the same, but _yours_ improved. When I was little, we did get lucky. Tikki actually is my godmother so we grew up pretty much surrounded by a luck domain. When _that_ spell misfired it got caught up in Nino's wild magic and gave him Wildspeech.  It's not something I think I could do on purpose, even now."

"I am still so glad you screwed that spell up, by the way," Nino says comfortably, batting Marinette's hand away to pet Adrien himself. "Do you have any idea how much I just got paid for asking a fox to leave someone's chickens alone?"

"I heard fox!" Alya shouts from down the hall.

"She said no!" Nino shouts back, leaning away from Adrien. "Seriously, I think Trixx's familiar was a fluke, just go ask a dog!"

"But I want a fox!"

" _No fox_!"

"Plagg keeps suggesting I should be a familiar," Adrien says, because there's no sign they're about to stop that any time soon and because he needs to _say_ it.

He doesn't know if his curse can even _be_ broken.  He doesn't know if he'll ever really be human again.  He hates the idea of being anyone's pet, and he doesn't know if there's anything else he _can_ be anymore other than a familiar, but he can't stop thinking about the frightening level of control his father has over Nooroo and he's _terrified_ of that.

He has to tell Plagg or Nino about Nooroo, too, but he doesn't know where to _begin._

Nino notably doesn't translate this time, even as his hand falls still for a second before he resumes petting. "That's really up to you, dude. But you can stay here at least until you know what you want to do. Even after we talk to the cops, you can still stay."

"What about your parents?" Adrien asks, not willing to think about going to the police just yet. His tail lashes once before he can help it and he twists under Nino's hands, trying to stave off the anxiety he can feel building, and Marinette reaches for him again as well. "Won't they mind?"

Nino snorts. "Our parents have the _highest_ goddamn weirdness tolerance, you have no idea. I started arguing with pigeons when we were four and Dad baked us a cake for it. I _still_ don't know if Plagg is actually legally my godfather."

"Probably," Plagg says. "Your dad's weird."

"Yeah, they'll probably just offer to adopt you," Nino says. "Shit, they offered to adopt Alya if their parents didn't react well to their coming out."

"I don't know what that means," Adrien says, quietly, to the floor. He's long since learned that it's a terrible idea to say, 'I don't know,' but it isn't like all these people aren't already well aware just how _much_ he doesn't know.

And they're probably safe to say it to, anyway. They haven't- it hasn't been a problem yet.

"Yeah, I guess you wouldn't," Nino says, not sounding remotely concerned. "I mean, Alya can probably explain it better than I can."

"I heard," Alya says, returning from the bedroom and dropping down onto the floor with them. (There's a perfectly good couch and the largest cat tree Adrien's ever seen in the room with them. Everyone's on the floor instead). "Don't worry about it, Chat Noir, this is actually something a lot of people don't know. _I_ probably wouldn't know, except that Trixx, my teacher, is nonbinary. It means they don't identify as male or female, and neither do I. That's why Nino and Marinette use they and them pronouns for me. I asked them to and they respect that."

"You say that like it's a lot to ask," Nino says. "It's really not. Dude, if everyone can call your sister Anansi they can remember your pronouns."

"I'm still really happy about that, actually," Alya admits.  Unlike the others, they don't try to pet Adrien; he's thankful for that, because he thinks it would be too much. "After she got everyone to use Anansi I don't think my parents cared very much about my pronouns, they just kinda kept asking really anxiously if I was happy with my name.  Which, for the record, Chat Noir, Illusionists don't really have true names. We're special like that." They wave their hands around. "We're basically an incarnation of change, names don't really stick to us."

" _Why_ do I feel like you weren't totally honest about that at first?" Marinette says.

Alya grins. "I _may_ have gotten Anansi to refer to me only as Redbull Thundercock for like three days."

Nino chokes.

Marinette starts laughing hysterically.

"She _may_ have tried to convince our parents it was _totally_ my true name," Alya adds.

"I always knew I liked you," Plagg says.

"What do you identify as, anyway, Plagg?" Nino asks, recovering. "I don't think I've ever actually, you know, asked. I kinda figured you'd mention it if it mattered to you."

"I identify as a plague upon your household," Plagg says loftily, beginning to wash his face. His claws have left tiny pinprick holes in Nino's jeans.

"Thanks, Plagg," Nino sighs. "I don't know what I expected."

"Okay, so I don't know what he said, but I'm betting it was disrespectful somehow so probably don't repeat it," Alya says to Adrien. "Gender identity's a pretty personal thing, don't worry about it if it's confusing."

"Plagg doesn't really respect much of anything, anyway," Marinette says dryly, swiping at her eyes as she sits back up straight.

"He respects Tikki," Nino says.

There's a moment of silence.

"I thought you were listing things," Alya says.

"I was," Nino replies calmly, shifting sideways so that Alya can lean into him without crushing Plagg.  "I'm done."

Plagg snickers.

Adrien feels oddly lost, listening to them banter back and forth. He's never heard anyone interact like this.

He didn't know it was something people actually _did_.

"Anyway, it's not that uncommon for an Illusionist to be gender non-conforming," Alya tells him. "I mean, when you can do _this_ -" They wave, and suddenly they're an entirely different colour, even to Adrien's cat senses. "It starts seeming like kind of a ridiculous thing to worry about." They wave again, and though Adrien can still _sense_ them towering over him they abruptly _look_ like a cat, then a fox. "Seriously, changing clothes is actually harder than this for me.  Technically I don’t even _need_ clothes."

“Okay, you had _better_ be wearing clothes,” Marinette tells them.

"You'll never know," Alya teases her.

"Can you make me look human?" Adrien blurts, a lot more frantically than he means to.

"Uh, Alya," Nino says, his hand falling still across Adrien's back. That makes him anxious again, but when he moves restlessly Nino takes his hand away, and then he wishes he'd just stayed still. "He wants to know if you can make him look human."

Alya switches back to the same form they started in and slides down the couch to be closer to everyone else. "I mean, _look_ , yeah. You can _look_ like whatever the hell you want. But I can't change your actual size or form."

"Wait," Marinette says suddenly. "Wait, I can do constructs now. They don't last long, and it'd be an approximation and he'd have to- to _ride_ on it or something, but I think we can figure out how to combine those spells. Which is- not easy, but I think we can _do_ it."

"Okay, but," Nino says, starting to pet Adrien again. "None of that gives him Wildspeech? And sorry, Chat Noir, but I'm kind of assuming you don't, like, know any sign language."

Adrien slumps. "No."

"I don't think my constructs can do sign, anyway," Marinette admits. "They wouldn't have that kind of dexterity."

"So? He'd be with us," Alya argues. "He'd kind of have to be, for the spells to stay up. Nino can still translate. As long as we stay in a group, we can probably get away without that being noticed."

Adrien's a little less certain about this plan when they say 'for the spells to stay up.' He doesn't like the idea of needing to stay close to someone to look human, even someone he likes as much as he thinks he does Marinette and her friends.

-but he wants to look human again. Really, he wants to _be_ human again, but that might not ever happen.

Unless he goes home.

He really doesn't want to go home.

"Okay. Okay, we can work something out," Marinette says, considering. "I mean, it's likely to take us a few days at the very least, but Trixx graduated Alya already, Tikki's out of town, and Nino shouldn't have another job for a while. We have time. If you want us to, I think we can do this, at least as a temporary solution." Then, softer, "And- if you want me to. I can try and break your curse. I can't promise anything, Chat Noir, but if it's what you want us to do I'll definitely try."

That was Adrien's original plan, and he's already let them cast one spell on him with better results than he'd dreamed of (he's still flexing his claws every few minutes just to remind himself that he _can_ ), but. But.

He didn't know, when he agreed to the first spell, that they wouldn't cast anything to help him calm down first. As he's heard his father tell Nathalie more than once, if Adrien weren't spelled docile for curse-breaking attempts he would bolt again every time; even then they usually put him back in his carrier for when it wears off and leaves him sick and shaking with the aftereffects. (They always activate the curse to try to break it. They never have explained why).

Adrien could already barely stand to be anywhere near the circle when they were casting, and that was when they hadn't been trying to do more than barely modify the curse.

Plagg and Nino had both been so upset when he asked about the spell, though. He doesn't think they're likely to agree to use it.

"I don't- really like having the curse worked on," he says tentatively, instead of any of the rest of it.

"It's your curse, dude," Nino says gently. "If you don't want us to touch it, then we won't. But you're okay with us creating a work around? I don't think any spells like that exist yet, and it would take all of us, but we can definitely try it."

He could go outside without worrying about getting caught or getting picked up by animal control.  All of them are careful enough that he thinks he can handle the magic, as long as they're not actually casting _on_ the curse. "I'd… like that."

"Okay, this is now officially weird," Plagg breaks in, sitting up straight and hopping back out of Nino's lap. "I bring some stray kid home, and he has _my curse_ , and the three of you just happen to have the exact right combination of abilities to help him, _and_ the free time? _Him_ , specifically? Marinette, what the _hell_ did you cast that Miracle with?"

"Um," Marinette says, when Nino translates that complete with Plagg's intonations.

"Oh holy shit," Nino says. "You _didn't_."

"Hey, it's a good thing," Marinette says defensively, drawing in on herself.

"You used the _earrings_?" Nino asks, his voice full of disbelief. "Those were supposed to be for an emergency!"

"Well," Plagg says, and he doesn't sound upset, he sounds thoughtful. "Maybe she wasn't having one, but it sounds like this kid _was_. I think it's a good thing she did it. _Why'd_ you do it?" he adds.

Nino repeats that faithfully, then adds, "I want to know, too.  That's- I know your spells are about luck, but that's a _lot_ of it at once."

Marinette shrugs. "It felt right. And, I mean, that _is_ part of what Tikki taught me. She says since we're casting in a luck domain we should listen to gut feelings and hunches, so I did.  And it _is_ a lot of luck- it was meant for the whole arrondissement, but it seems like it all got drawn to Chat Noir." She sighs and says guiltily, "Maybe I shouldn't have done it, though. Tikki probably could have actually broken the curse if she'd been the one casting."

"She wouldn't have," Plagg says. "She won't risk breaking _mine_ , so she never tries to boost Miracle.  It's a good thing _you_ did.  Though I'm glad I wasn't here."

There's a pause where it's far too obvious that Adrien isn't saying anything. He knows he should at least say thanks, but words suddenly seem beyond him.

In fact Adrien's trying to curl himself as small as he can, not entirely consciously, and he only stops when Plagg changes the subject with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.

(Adrien is suddenly, _uncomfortably_ aware that he's somehow ended up most of the way into Marinette's lap).

"Want a tour of the house, kid?" Plagg asks him.

"Oh, yeah, that's probably a good idea," Nino says thoughtfully, then to the others, "House tour."

Adrien starts out following them on foot, but there's too many people walking too close together. Eventually he does work up the nerve to ask if Marinette can pick him up. He doesn't ask the others; he thinks Nino at least would be okay, but he's still nervous about being picked up at all, and Marinette had carried him last night without hurting him or dropping him.

And with Nino translating for him he can _ask_ , and Marinette crouches for him to jump up into her arms rather than stooping over him, and when she does straighten up it's with him securely cradled in both arms. She doesn't try to hold him under his front legs and she never tries to grab for his scruff or his tail.

He thinks if he mentions any of those things he's going to get another aggravated look from Plagg, who's wrapped himself comfortably around Nino's shoulders. He absolutely does not fit there but neither of them seems bothered by it.

Adrien is _trying_. But, well. Plagg says he's not a convincing cat. Adrien's not at all sure he's a convincing _human_ , either.

All of the doors have cat flaps. All of them, even the bedrooms, even the bathroom, and when Adrien jumps back down to investigate every one of them opens easily at a push of his paw. The only door that doesn't is the trapdoor up to Marinette's room, and Plagg shows him a rigged latch that lets him open even that.

The window turns out to open easily, too.

Adrien ends up jumping up and down to look around a few more times, but the whole house is like that. He's not barred from going anywhere he wants, including back outside; he doesn't register it properly until Plagg points it out but nearly all the furniture is an easy height to jump to, too.

The cat tree in the living room's still the largest, but it isn't the only one. There's one in Nino's room, and another in the hallway, and Marinette rummages through her closet briefly and pulls out a smaller one.

(Plagg also tells him, quietly, where to find the cat toys, but Adrien's- He doesn't want to know that).

He didn't expect there to be so many things geared towards having a cat in the house. He hasn't really thought about the fact that Plagg already told him that he _likes_ being a cat. That he wants to stay a cat.  Of course Plagg has trees and toys and perches; there's no reason that he _wouldn't._

And not only does Plagg show him ways in and out of the entire house, he never sees anything remotely close to a cat carrier. There's nothing that could be used as a cage, not even if someone got really creative about it.

He doesn't want to ask.

He has to _know._

He really, _really_ doesn't want to ask.

He _has to know._

"Kid?" Plagg says, sitting down in front of him and tilting his head. They've stopped in front of the bathroom door, with Nino and the others waiting a respectful distance away; Adrien adamantly does not want to discuss having ever had a litterbox before now with them. He's- he's really had enough humiliation in his life. He'd prefer to keep it at this new, much lower level. "Kid. Whatever it is, spit it out. It's obviously bugging you."

"You don't have a cat carrier," Adrien blurts out, slamming his eyes shut as soon as he says it so he doesn't have to see Plagg's reaction. At least Nino's hanging back for now. At least he didn't have to tell everyone.

"No," Plagg says slowly. "No, kid, I do not. Because, and I guess I gotta keep emphasizing this, they know I'm not just a cat."

Adrien opens his eyes again.

Plagg's watching him, but not unkindly. "Lemme guess, cat trees got you freaked out?"

"I-" Words fail him for a painful moment, and he meows in frustration, which only makes everything worse. "I-"

"Kid." Plagg takes a slow, careful step towards him. He must know it still comes off as predatory, because he stops immediately. "Kid, they know you're not actually a cat. There's no carrier, and you don't have to go anywhere near the cat trees unless you want to, all right?"

He knows that. He _knows_ that, he shouldn't be letting it bother him like this.

He's seen the way they respect and even defer to Plagg. None of them treat Plagg anything like a pet and he's clearly lived with them since Nino and Marinette were young. They treat him more like an older family member than they do anything else, but apparently Plagg is still also unashamedly and unreservedly a _cat._

Adrien had kind of assumed everyone he met was going to treat _him_ as a cat and not as a human (even now he's too leery of looking like a pet to go near the cat trees, even though they're just cat trees, even though they shouldn't make him half as wary as they actually do). It's never occurred to him that he might meet people who would treat him like he was _both._

But he's much too aware someone had to go get all those things from a pet store, and that makes him tense and unhappy. He knows they wouldn't have thought of it like that, he _knows_ it's his own issues getting in the way, but- but he is so _sick_ of being treated like a _pet._

He couldn't articulate it before, because his father and Nathalie both have _always_ acted like it's just natural to manhandle him and ignore him when he protests and spell him when he tries to run, but he's been here less than a day and- no one's picked him up without asking, no one's grabbed him, no one's tried to put him in a carrier, Plagg's the only one who's come anywhere near his scruff and he'd _stopped_ when Adrien said he didn't like that, and. And.

And he's started hyperventilating.

He can't _breathe._

He can't breathe, and his chest hurts so _badly_ , and he hears Nino as if from underwater, and he _can't breathe._

"Chat Noir?" Nino says from somewhere very far away. "Chat Noir, are you- oh. Oh, _dude_. Breathe, little dude, it's all right."

Nino comes closer, slowly, and crouches down in front of him with tiny, careful movements.  Adrien thinks Marinette and Alya hang back, but he can't- he can't _tell._

"Hey," Nino says, gently, easing himself down entirely and resting his hands on his knees, palms up. "Hey, Chat Noir, it's okay. Breathe with me, I- shit. No, sorry, it's okay. But you have a lot higher respiratory rate than I do, little dude, I- Plagg, a little help?"

" _Breathe_ , kid," Plagg says, suddenly at his side, and Adrien does, because he _wants_ to listen to Plagg, he- he probably shouldn't trust the older cat this much or this quickly, but- but he _does._

Plagg has the same curse, or at least a very similar one. He's not likely to forget that Adrien's not a _pet._

Slowly, his breathing does start to even out as he tries to match it to Plagg's. He doesn't quite manage it, his breathing is still full of hitches and gasps and hiccups, but he does stop feeling like he can't breathe at all, like there's a crushing sensation in his chest, and when he presses down as flat to the floor as he can get Plagg follows him down and starts grooming him.

Adrien flinches, because he still feels strung out and worn _thin_ somehow, but. It helps. If any of the others had touched him right now he thinks he would have shot right back into that panicked state, but Plagg is different; Plagg doesn't bring up memories of being grabbed with no warning and shoved into cat carriers and muzzled because he tried to bite because he doesn't have his _claws._

He _does_ have his claws. He has his claws. He grabs onto that thought and _clings_ to it, desperately; he has all his claws, they gave them back, he's not _defenseless_. They couldn't muzzle him even if they wanted to, not when he can bite and claw and run and hide and-

Humans don't bite, though.   Humans- humans don't- don't _bite._

( _Well-behaved cats don't bite, son, prove you can be well-behaved and I'll-  let you-_   out-)

( _but that's a_ lie-)

Adrien's breathing starts to pick up again, and the crushing sensation is coming back, and it's _worse._

"Kid," Plagg says, voice pitching higher with alarm. "Kid, it's okay. You're safe, whatever it is, you're safe."

He's _not_ , he's not safe from _himself-_

"Chat Noir, it's all right," Nino says softly, holding perfectly still, and something in Adrien _breaks._

"Adrien," he gasps out, around the heaving breaths, around the choking sensation, because he's suddenly acutely aware that _no one_ uses his name, Nathalie and his father never _address_ him and there's no one else- "My name is _Adrien_ , please- _please_ -"

"I-" Nino sounds startled and concerned and so much more human than Adrien's father ever does (and the irony in that thought _burns_ ).

Nino takes a deep breath and starts again, sounding much calmer and more even, and Adrien suspects he's forcing that but he doesn't _care_. "I- okay. Okay. Listen, Marinette and Alya are still in earshot. May they have your name as well?"

" _Ple-ase_!" Adrien cries again, voice cracking horribly halfway through, before burying his head in his paws because he's not exactly doing a very good job of reminding them he's human right now. He's crying and shaking and he doesn't know _why,_ he doesn't understand, he didn't _feel_ like this five minutes ago and he wants someone to use his name _right now_ , he wants the reminder that he _has one._

"Adrien," Nino says gently, and Adrien mewls in pure reaction, because he hasn't heard his name in _so long_ and he never even _realised_ it before now. "Adrien, it's okay. It will be okay. We- we aren't gonna let anything happen to you, all right?"

Adrien cringes, terror and panic spiraling wildly, because he's _heard_ that before, and it means confinement, it means locks and bars and spells and _cages_ (because that’s what his carrier really is, isn’t it, it’s a _cage_ -)

Plagg drapes himself over Adrien and starts purring loudly.

Adrien still spends another few minutes shaking himself to terrified pieces, but the purring does what the breathing exercises didn't, lets him start to calm down gradually. Plagg keeps purring at him, craning around to butt his head against Adrien's periodically, and Adrien leans into him and shakes and shakes and _shakes_ and cries himself out.

He's _exhausted_ and humiliated and he wants to _hide._

Nino's still right there.

Adrien _does_ hide, he ducks his head under Plagg and curls up small and draws his tail up around himself, and he's never been so glad to be a fluffy cat. His fur's on end and he can _bury_ himself in it and pretend the last- however long stretch of time just. Didn't happen.

"Adrien?" Nino says softly, and Adrien lets out a quiet meow before he can help it and then tries to hide further under Plagg.

" _Shit_ , kid," Plagg says, just as softly, and shifts to let Adrien curl into him again. "I haven't seen a panic attack that bad in decades. Are you- yeah, you're not okay. Has this ever happened to you before?"

It takes Adrien three tries to answer him. Talking feels like it involves too many moving parts, and because of that he doesn't think about what he's saying, what he's _admitting_ , until it's too late. "I- not like- that. Only- only when I'm in my carrier, sometimes."

Nino looks stricken, and Plagg wraps himself further around Adrien with a headbutt and a quiet trill. "Oh, _kid_."

Alya is still keeping their distance, but Marinette takes a small step closer. There's a faint tremble in her voice as she says, "Nino, does he want me to cast-"

" _Don't_ ," Nino says hastily, keeping back and keeping still, and returning his attention to Adrien immediately.  He's still keeping his voice low and soothing. "I get panic attacks, too. They can come on really suddenly. Mine are different, I- I have them in crowds sometimes, or I used to. I take meds for it, actually. They happen. Nothing's wrong with you, they _happen_. I know- I know it feels like you're dying, but you're not, it's okay. You'll be okay." He hesitates. "Chat Noir- uh, Adrien. Something I said made it worse. Are you okay to tell me what it was, so I don't do it again?"

Adrien stares down at his claws and reminds himself harshly that's the only spell anyone here has cast on him, and that only once he'd agreed to it.  "It's stupid, though."

"It's not stupid, dude," Nino says gently.  "It upset you. I didn't mean it to, and I'd like to avoid doing it again."

"But it _is_ stupid," Adrien says. "You wouldn't have meant- when he says- you wouldn't-"

"It was the thing about keeping you safe, wasn't it?" Plagg says suddenly, and Adrien flinches again.

"It _was_ ," Nino says, with dawning comprehension. "Is that what he told you? Oh, man, that's- that's really messed up, dude.  That isn't what I meant."

"I know," Adrien says miserably. "I _know_ that, I just." He stops. He stops, because it _is_ stupid, because it's not like- it's not like it's a bad thing, to want to keep him safe. It _isn't._

He just. He doesn't want to be kept safe, anymore. Ever again.

"You were already panicking and it was a bad memory," Nino says, sympathetically. "I know, dude.  Uh, do you want- the hall floor can't be that comfortable, do you want to move somewhere else?"

Adrien tries to tell him no, because he doesn't think he can move, but words are getting more and more difficult and if Plagg weren't purring again (still?) that would be enough to frighten him all over again.

"You don't have to," Nino says. "We can stay here. Is it easier to stay here?"

Unhappily, Adrien nods. Nino can't see it, but Plagg can, and Plagg says, "Stay here."

"Okay," Nino says. "Hey, Alya?"

Adrien jerks at that reminder that they aren't _alone_ , that _everyone_ saw that, and Plagg lifts one paw and licks it and starts grooming back the fur on Adrien's head. It shouldn't be reassuring but it helps. It's wholly a cat thing, and that's probably not _good_ , but it helps.

"What is it?" Alya asks, keeping their voice just as calm and quiet as Plagg and Nino have been doing.

"Can you get us some blankets?" Nino asks. "House tour's over, I think."

"Yeah," Alya says. "Yeah, I'll be right back."

"Marinette," Plagg says next, but it's not a question, and even though she can't have heard anything but a meow Marinette answers immediately.

"I know, Plagg," Marinette says, and she sounds unfathomably sad. "I have it."

She sits down next to Nino, just as slow and careful about the movement as he was, and sets down a mug and Adrien sniffs before he can stop himself.

He never even saw her leave, much less come back.

"It's oolong tea," Marinette says. "I'd have brought hot chocolate, but you can't drink that, and this was the best I could do, I'm sorry. I don't- I don't even know if you can drink _this_ , I'm sorry." And then, softer, "Adrien."

He shivers all over and ducks his head again.

Plagg purrs louder.

"Adrien," Marinette repeats, more firmly, and takes a deep breath. "Adrien, my true name is Ladybug."

Plagg stops grooming him for a second, then resumes at a much slower pace.

"Mine's Carapace," Nino says, still quiet. "I'm so sorry, dude. I don't- " He falls silent without finishing his sentence.

Adrien isn't sure why they keep apologising. He wishes he knew. He wishes he had any idea what they're thinking. He feels like if he'd actually gotten to grow up around other people, if he hadn't been confined to one bit of property all his life unless he took the risk of being small and furry and vulnerable, he might actually _know_ why they keep saying that they're sorry.

They've been nothing but kind to him, even though they just met him. They have no reason to be sorry.

They have no reason to trust him with their names like that.

Alya's not long retrieving the blankets, but Nino and Marinette don't keep talking. They only sit with him quietly until Alya's back.

He doesn't understand what they're doing at first. Alya has a lot of blankets and a throw pillow embroidered with paw prints that's bigger than Adrien is. They set them all down and leave again and come back with even more, with stuffed animals and more pillows and another blanket.

Nino picks up a corner of a blanket and stretches up to hook it over the top of a bookcase on the other side of the hall, taking out several books to secure it in place; he never stands up, stretching instead and crawling over to the other side of the hall to find another place to anchor the blanket so that it droops across the hallway.

Nino is very, very careful not to loom.

Marinette is moving around even less. She does come slightly closer to Plagg and Adrien, but it's only to lean against the wall, setting a pillow down on one side of herself to rest an elbow on while her other arm just barely brushes Plagg's fur. Adrien's not sure if it's a coincidence, but her new position also leaves him better hidden without blocking him in.

He doesn't actually realise what they're doing until they're most of the way done.

It can't be called a blanket fort, not really; it's closer to a nest. It doesn't truly have a roof, and the closest thing it has to sides are the loose pillows and stuffed animals. He could get out in a heartbeat if he wanted to, and that's probably intentional, because- because Nino and Plagg know about the carrier, now. They know- more than Adrien ever wanted them to know.  More than he wanted _anyone_ to know.

The hallway's not that large. When Alya sits down next to Nino, across from Marinette, they stretch out and put their feet in Marinette's lap. Marinette sighs, but she lets them do it, and Nino leans against Alya when they wrap an arm around him, and it is the farthest possible thing from being left alone in his carrier.

Marinette shifts enough to let Adrien hide completely out of sight between her and Plagg and starts singing softly. It sounds like one of her spells, but it doesn't feel like one to the rest of his senses, and he supposes if she really does use music when she casts that's likely all that makes it sound like her magic. "We'll sing together, and when we sing we'll sing together, not alone, all for one and one for all- "

Nino joining in makes it pretty obviously not a spell at all. "We'll fight together, and when we fight we'll fight together, not alone, we'll fight together-"

Alya starts to sing, "We'll sleep together-" but Nino snickers and gently shoulder-checks them and Adrien suspects that's not a real part of the song.

Adrien lets his eyes close as he listens to both siblings singing, to Plagg purring, and he's so drained from- from _everything_ that he ends up falling asleep like that.

He rouses just enough at one point to dimly hear one half of a phone call. He's listening to Marinette's voice more than her words, so he misses most of it.

"Maman?" Marinette's saying very quietly. "Yes, I know I'm checking in late. Yes, Nino's back, he finished early. Alya's over, too, and Plagg's still keeping an eye on things. Uh, Maman- how- uh.  Well, you know how you and Papa always said you wished you'd had another kid?" There's a pause, and she laughs and says, "No, it's not about Alya, Alya didn't change their mind. Stop trying to assimilate our friend. But, uh, something's happened-"

Adrien doesn't hear anything else; he falls back asleep too quickly.

It's a long time before he really thinks about what he'd overheard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> minor spoilers: adrien has a bad panic attack in this chapter, starting at 'and he's started hyperventilating' and going until 'Alya is still keeping their distance.'
> 
> the song at the end is blackmore's night one for all, which is a version of an old drinking song because i mostly know drinking songs. adriens right that alyas line is not in the song.
> 
> (sorry ive been so terrible about replying to comments, i have minor surgery this week and ive been really anxious about it. i really appreciate every one of them! they make my _day_ ).
> 
>  
> 
> edit: TokyoTeddyWolf drew awesome fanart!: https://tokyoteddywolf.tumblr.com/post/180611866028/listen-i-am-absolutely-in-love-with-a-fic-called


	5. often brings good luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surgeries thankfully _over_ and i spent the whole waiting time right before it rereading comments thanks you guys <3
> 
> also, if you missed it before, TokyoTeddyWolf drew awesome art for the last chapter!: https://tokyoteddywolf.tumblr.com/post/180611866028/listen-i-am-absolutely-in-love-with-a-fic-called

Adrien sees that he wasn't the only one to doze off when he wakes back up, sometime in the small hours of the morning. (They fell asleep early enough that everyone's sleep schedule is probably shot now. He feels guilt creeping in on him as soon as he thinks that).  
  
"Hey, kid," Plagg greets him drowsily as Adrien looks around in pained disbelief.  
  
Alya's slouched down; they're asleep with the upper half of their body in Nino's lap and the lower half in Marinette's. Nino's sleeping sitting up against the wall with his arms crossed and resting on top of Alya's head, and Marinette is curled around a pillow she's draped over Alya's legs, and they're all- they're all still here. No one's left.  
  
No one's left him here alone.  
  
He knows they all have perfectly good beds, Nino's bedroom door is standing open five feet away, and they're all still right here.  
  
"Kid?" Plagg says, pushing himself up and off of Adrien slightly, glancing sideways at him. "Better?"  
  
"I-" Words fail him on the first try, but not at all for the same reason as before. He tries again. "They all- stayed."  
  
"Yeah," Plagg says. "We weren't really sure, Nino likes to be left alone after he has an attack, but- we didn't really think you should wake up alone. Or at least, Marinette didn't, and she's usually right about that kind of thing." He reaches one paw out and bats at Adrien's ears, lightly, and for possibly the first time Adrien doesn't flinch. "Kid."  
  
Adrien looks up at him and meows. He can't help it; Plagg is very much a cat, and that resounds with the part of Adrien he isn't willing to acknowledge most of the time, the part that actually is more cat than human after so long.  
  
(He's not even sure whether meowing at each other is something that cats _do_ ).  
  
But Plagg only purrs back, before saying, "Kid, we didn't wanna bring it up again before when you were already freaked out, but. You really, _really_ need to talk to the police."  
  
Adrien goes still, except for the sudden compulsive flexing of his claws.  
  
"Yeah, I thought so," Plagg says, watching him. "I know you don't want to believe it, but the way he treated you was wrong." His voice turns coaxing, at least until he sees the way it puts Adrien's back up. "And I'm guessing you don't want him to do it to anyone else, right, kid?"  
  
_Nooroo._  
  
"He has a familiar," Adrien blurts out, half in a whimper, burying his head in his paws. "He- he has a familiar, and he doesn't- I don't think Nooroo has a contract, Plagg.  I don't- why would Nooroo ever have _agreed_ to that?"  
  
Adrien still doesn't know Nooroo that well, even though Nooroo's been around since he was much younger, even though they've been living in the same house. They're never kept in the same _part_ of it and if Nooroo's actually there for a curse-breaking attempt- which he usually isn't, honestly- then Adrien's already transformed and calmed and not able to talk to him.  He has _no idea_ why Nooroo would have agreed to work with his father at all.  
  
" _That's_ why you-?" Plagg hisses. "Well. We can find some way to help Nooroo, kid, but we need your help to do it."  
  
Adrien wishes he didn't seem to spend so much time scared and shaking.  It can't be doing a lot to  improve their opinion of him. "But what if the police- I'm a runaway, Plagg, what if they just- return me?"  
  
"They won't," Plagg says fiercely. "We won't let-" He checks himself, looks around at the snoring teenagers, and finishes with, "You've got a team on your side now, kid. He can't have you back, all right?"  
  
Adrien's only known Plagg a day, and the older cat picked him up off the streets and dragged him here; Plagg is the kind of trouble Adrien was _warned_ about.  
  
He doesn't think anyone's ever told _Plagg_ that it's not safe for him to be out on the streets transformed.  He doesn't think that Plagg would listen if they did.  
  
(But then, Plagg can defend himself).  
  
Adrien looks up at the bigger cat, who's sitting very still with his eyes gleaming in the faint light from the windows, and realises just how badly he wants to trust him.  
  
It _has_ only been a day. But in the course of that day he's been treated with respect, and talked to like an equal, and they've cast the only spell he's ever seen have an actual positive effect on his curse and they haven't cast _anything_ else on him. Even when he was breaking down in the middle of their hallway, they hadn't tried to spell him calm, they hadn't told him not to melt down like a child. He trusts them.  
  
Maybe he's naive. He's _probably_ naive. But he _wants_ to trust them.  
  
"I'm not ready to do that," he admits, unsteadily. "Not- not as a cat. If they can- if they can really make me look human, then. Then- maybe."  He can't give Plagg a yes yet.  He still can't bring himself to believe that the police will listen to him, not really, not when he can't talk to them himself and his only real argument is 'but I don't _want_ him to keep me safe.'

They could argue that Nino's not translating correctly and Adrien wouldn't have any way to tell them otherwise. They could listen only to explain how unappreciative Adrien is, that of course it's all been for his own good, that it isn't as though stray cats have long lifespans.  Adrien's been frequently reminded of that for as long as he can remember.  
  
Even his mother had warned him about how much danger his curse put him in. She hadn't approved of the carrier but she also hadn't stopped them _using_ it, at least, not after the first time Adrien had found a way to jump out of a moving car.  
  
He'd managed to stay gone for almost an entire day that time. Years later he can't think of it without feeling a strange mix of happiness and shame. He'd enjoyed himself so much while he'd been loose, but his parents had been so worried when they'd finally caught him- he still remembers his mother tearfully telling him she thought he'd been hit by a car.  
  
He's not a cat, he knows not to run into the road. But he's always felt awful that he'd scared her so badly.  
  
Adrien would rather not go to the authorities at all but- Plagg thinks they can help Nooroo, and Nooroo's just as trapped as Adrien was before. He can't- he can't _ignore_ that.  
  
At least Adrien does escape sometimes. As far as he knows, Nooroo never does. Nooroo only barely leaves his father's workroom (and even though Adrien thinks he likes Nooroo, he dreads seeing him, because it always means stronger spellwork).  He can't justify running off and leaving Nooroo behind.  
  
"You know what,  I'll take a maybe," Plagg says, sitting up straight with a flick of his tail. "Now. Do you wanna go out for a hunt?"  
  
"I never really wanted to hunt," Adrien admits sheepishly.  
  
Plagg flicks his tail again. "For a run, then. Nino does better staying at home after, but I think it's probably better for- it's probably a good idea for you to get out for a while."  
  
"I'm not- sure." He's safe here. He's safe here, and not the way he was before, where he might have been sheltered but he was also _trapped_ ; he's actually safe. He's not sure when the last time he felt safe anywhere was.  
  
"It's only gonna get harder, if you wait," Plagg tells him, gently. "I know, kid, I _know_ you don't wanna be back out there now, but the longer you wait the harder it'll be to get yourself to go. And I figure you don't want that. You don't seem like you got to be out enough, before."  
  
It's unnerving, how well Plagg can read him. For all that Adrien sometimes feels like he's spent all his life trying to escape he's honestly scared to leave Marinette's home now. He's _safe_ here. He doesn't have to be so paranoid all the time, doesn't have to watch constantly for unfriendly cats and stray dogs and for anyone who might _catch him_ -  
  
He cuts that thought off in a hurry, but he has to ask. "What if they find me?"  
  
"I'm a spellcaster, too, kid. Most familiars are," Plagg says, blinking at him, and Adrien has the sudden sinking feeling that's something else he should have already known. "If you want me to hide us both, I can do that. Or I can wake Alya and they can cast an illusion on you, if that's better."  
  
The illusion sounds better, because Alya's illusions barely felt like magic at all, but. "I don't want to wake anyone."  
  
"Yeah, well, lucky for you I _love_ waking these assholes," Plagg says, sinking into a crouch and letting out a chirp.  As Adrien's still trying to figure out what he's doing, Plagg leaps onto Alya's lap.  
  
Alya comes awake all at once, spluttering and cursing, and wakes Nino with an elbow in his gut as they flail.  
  
(Adrien just barely catches Marinette's face twitch into a faint smile and suddenly suspects she was never asleep at all).  
  
"Plagg," Alya says, spitting hair out of their mouth. " _Why_."  
  
"I wanna go out for a while," Plagg says, completely unconcerned.  
  
"So _go_?" Alya says, exasperated, once Nino's repeated that. "Why exactly am _I_ involved with this decision?"  
  
"Because I wanna take the kid with, and he needs a disguise," Plagg says. "C'mon, you love doin' disguises."  
  
Alya takes long enough to digest that information that Nino nearly falls back asleep, but finally they say, sounding determined and guilty at once, "Yeah, but can I come with?"  
  
"S- they want to come hunting?" Adrien says to Plagg, confused.  
  
"Thought we were just goin' for a run," Plagg says. "But yeah, I don't care if they come with, do you?"  
  
Honestly, Adrien kind of thinks the more people he has with him for this the better. "No, but how- how does that work?"  
  
"You'll see, kid. But Alya's done this before. They'll be fine." Plagg jumps down off of Alya's lap and starts trotting towards the stairs. "Come on, climbin' out Marinette's window is the traditional way to do things around here."  
  
"Traditional," Adrien repeats faintly, but Plagg only snickers.  
  
In the end, it's not just Alya who comes with.  
  
Adrien feels like he should have expected that, somehow.  
  
Frustratingly, Nino is the one who chooses to stay behind, citing exhaustion. Adrien wishes he was coming too but he knows that's not fair. He can't expect Nino to translate for him all the time. It's amazing enough that Nino's done it as much as he has. It's not like Adrien had even known about Wildspeech before; he shouldn't be so selfish that he wants Nino to keep translating for him.  
  
After all, if Nino's only had Wildspeech since he was four, it sounds like there must have been a span of time where no one was translating for Plagg at all.  
  
And it doesn't seem to have affected the way they treat Plagg, at all.  
  
"Should we really all be cats?" Marinette asks Alya reluctantly, once they're out on the balcony. "I mean, I get Ad- Chat Noir, sorry, this isn't really a private place," she cuts herself off, looking down at Adrien. "Is it okay if we keep using Chat Noir in public?  If you don't want us to-"  
  
Adrien sits up and nods at her, because asking to call him anything in public means they're planning to keep _talking_ to him in public, and in that case he doesn't care _what_ they call him. He'd still prefer Adrien but he's happy just to be addressed at all.  
  
"Oh, good," Marinette says, relieved, as she crouches down to be closer to him. "I'm sorry, about the name. It was the first thing I thought of, and I- I didn't know."  
  
"It's okay," he says, hating that she's only hearing him meow.  He wants to _talk_ to her. "I don't mind. I like that you wanted me to have a name at all." He could wish it was less of a cat's name, but- Marinette gave it to him before she even knew he was human, and she'd done it so that she could address him _without_ calling him 'kitty.'  
  
Most of the time he really doesn't mind Chat Noir, in light of that reasoning.  And- and it sounds like they still plan on calling him Adrien when they're _not_ outside, even though they don't have to.  
  
"And on _that_ worrying note," Plagg says, jumping up onto a spindly patio table that rocks under his weight. "Sure we should all be cats. Cats are the best option, dunno why we'd be out here running around as anything else, and if the Illusionist tries to make me look like a pigeon again they're gonna be findin' dead birds in their bed for a _week_."  
  
"Plagg?" Adrien says, baffled, because- because Alya and Marinette don't _have_ Wildspeech, but Plagg made that speech with a level of confidence that suggests he expects them to understand it.  
  
"One time!" Alya says, making Adrien jump. " _One time_ , I use a pigeon illusion, and now I get to hear this lecture _forever_. I got it, Plagg, no birds." They look suddenly mischievous. "Mice, though-"  
  
"See, kid?" Plagg says in an undertone. "You can still talk to them. They got that just fine, and Alya didn't actually know I used to be human til earlier this week. That's never stopped them _listening_ to me."  
  
"Oh." Adrien looks at his paws again, extending and retracting his claws. He hadn't realised he'd been that obvious.  
  
"Cats are good," Marinette tells Alya hastily. "We just need Chat Noir to look different, the rest of us don't matter so much. And we're all pretty experienced with moving with your cat illusions by now."  
  
"An actual cat's always gonna know," Alya says, turning to Adrien. "We aren't _that_ convincing. But as long as we're careful and keep our distance, most humans are gonna believe we're just a bunch of cats running around. People don't usually look too closely and the handful that do typically decide it's none of their business."  
  
Adrien's not a fan of those qualifiers, but. "Wait, how often have they done this?"  
  
"Their parents let a _cat_ help raise them," Plagg says, calmly. "So. Pretty often."  
  
Adrien stares at him.  
  
"What, like I was gonna stop them? Who do you think was teaching Nino and Marinette to sneak out in the first place?" Plagg tilts his head, amusement flashing through his bright eyes. "'Course, their parents always knew we were doing it. But it's important to let a certain amount of teenage rebellion slide."  
  
"Hey, Chat Noir, can you come here?" Alya says, before Adrien can actually finish processing that (they _let_ them-?). "Yours is gonna be the most important, I want to make sure you're okay with it."  
  
Alya has to recast a few times. Adrien's too small for their first illusion to work without giving off an uncanny valley effect, and it takes even longer to find an appearance that moves _with_ Marinette once she starts to slink (and Adrien is suddenly thinking a lot more about Plagg's 'let a cat help raise them,' because he's never seen _any_ human move like that).  
  
Also, because Alya keeps trying to make themself look like a fox.  
  
"Alya, no. We've talked about this," Marinette says, exasperated, and it's odd to hear her voice from the prim little calico cat sitting on the balcony railing. Adrien can still tell that it's Marinette and even that she's sitting on the railing normally, her legs swinging as she leans her elbows on her knees, but he does _see_ a cat where she should be. "People are way more likely to notice a fox."  
  
It occurs to Adrien for the first time that Alya's illusions don't work on him. He already knew that he could sense magic, and Plagg seems determined that he improve at it, but he's not sure he should be able to see through their disguises with so little effort.  
  
"Come on," Alya wheedles. "We're gonna be staying out of sight, mostly, right? One time won't hurt anything."  
  
"I've heard that before," Marinette says under her breath, before raising her voice again. "Tikki's still out of town,, and I don't know how much bad luck I actually cancel out, but I'm betting not enough for Plagg _and_ Chat Noir."  
  
"What?" Adrien says.  
  
Plagg, who isn't disguised at all, jumps back down and ambles over to him. "We're black cats _and_ we're cursed, we're both unlucky as hell.  Tikki and Marinette are creation and good luck, though, so they can cancel it out. Only, Tikki isn't in Paris and Marinette only just made Master, so- our combined luck's still not gonna be _great_."  
  
"I think I used up all the good luck I've ever had just getting here," Adrien says, worried now.  
  
"Technically, you used more than you've ever had," Plagg says, which isn't reassuring. "You _must_ have gotten caught in Marinette's spell. The timing fits, anyway, and it sounds like you were in range."  
  
"I was here," Adrien admits quietly, glancing around the balcony, spotting the same plants he'd hidden between. "I mean, I left again, but I was here right- right before.  I'd never gotten this far."  
  
"Well that part was all you, but you must have taken the entirety of the spell at close range, too," Plagg says thoughtfully. "Thought Alya got something, since they were actually in the room with Marinette and Nino did come back early, but- shit, I think that was you, too. Nino finishing early wasn't timed for Alya, it was timed for _you_."  
  
"But-" Adrien crouches slightly, shifting his back paws as he feels Alya's illusion settle more firmly in place. They've left him the same size and shape but when he glances down his paws are brown fading into cream, rather than their usual fluffy black. He thinks they've made him look like a Siamese cat.  He doesn't really have any preference for _what_ they make him look like as long as it's different enough to avoid being recognised. "You made it sound like you couldn't be near that spell."  
  
"Yeah," Plagg says, sounding troubled now.  There's still no illusion on him, but that makes sense; if this is something Plagg does regularly he's probably a common sight.  "Yeah, kid, I try not to risk it. Might break my curse, and Tikki's sworn not to, but Marinette's not _my_ witch. She didn't make that promise. She wouldn't do it on purpose, but she's a lot stronger than she thinks she is."  
  
Adrien flexes his claws again, but stops in a hurry when he realises he's scarring the balcony. "But- I'm-"  
  
"Told you it was the worst I've seen," Plagg says, not without sympathy. "Seems like the Miracle is probably what got you to us, but it doesn't look like it could get anywhere near your curse."  
  
Adrien glances at the others, because he's been talking to Plagg for a while now, but they don't seem bothered at the delay. Marinette's talked Alya into making herself look like a Somali but they're both still shaking their illusions into place in a way that wasn't as necessary for Plagg and Adrien. They do both look eager- like they're excited to run around the rooftops with them, pretending to be cats. From the way they've all talked about it this isn't _uncommon_ for them; not the running itself but not the illusions, either.  
  
His own illusion makes him feel a lot safer than he did outside before. "You're really happy like this, Plagg?"  
  
"Sure, kid." Plagg flicks his tail around his haunches, tilting his head so that his eyes flash in the low light. "But I'm not _you_."  
  
"Ready, you two!" Alya calls, before Adrien has a response to that. "Come on, come on, I know where it's trash night!"  
  
"Wait, why does _that_ matter?" Adrien says, baffled.  
  
Plagg sniffs as he rises to all four feet and leaps for the railing. "Because you might be a lousy hunter, kid, but _they're_ not."  
  
"Wait, _what_?" Adrien says, taken aback as he goes scrambling after them. Marinette's already jumping to the next roof; he can sense the way she's throwing her whole body into running and into throwing herself through the space between the buildings, but he didn't expect the easy and impressive way it converts into her cat form's illusion of impeccable balance.  
  
It says something that Marinette can move like that at all, but it also says something that Alya's illusions can move _with_ her like that. Adrien's never met an Illusionist before now but he suddenly suspects that Marinette's not the only one who's more powerful than they think.  
  
(Why would she ever even _want_ him for a familiar? He can't even fight back his anxiety for the span of one spell).  
  
Surprisingly enough Alya doesn't move quite as well, and their motions don't match up as easily, but it's quickly obvious to Adrien that _he's_ the one holding them back.  
  
Alya's scaling the next building over, cackling to theirself, and Plagg's already atop it while Adrien is still staring at the gap between them and trying to convince himself he can jump it.  
  
Marinette wheels back around and drops down next to him, landing in a crouch that echoes her calico disguise eerily. "Sorry, Chat Noir, I got excited. It's a little easy to forget size differences with Alya's illusions. Anyway, Plagg and Alya might beat us there, but would you like to see one of my alternate routes?" She grins at him, which the illusion translates as the calico sitting back and grooming her whiskers. "Plagg doesn't know them, he gets annoyed when he can't figure out how I'm getting into places. He pretends he's not but I can tell."  
  
"Yes?" Adrien tries, uncertainly. He reminds himself how easily Alya had been talking to Plagg, but he's having trouble convincing himself that it'll work for him.  
  
Plagg's so clearly a long-established part of their family. Adrien's just- just some stray.  
  
"That sounded like a yes to me," Marinette teases brightly, springing back to her feet (in _both_ forms which is a little dizzying). "And, well, if I'm mistaken you don't have to follow me. But if I'm not-" She throws him a smile back over her shoulder. "Then come on!"  
  
Marinette's route is a lot easier on him. She takes him down fire escapes and through alleyways, up along ladders and low walls and through gardens. They end up back on the roofs frequently but she avoids any jumps much larger than the ones she's already seen him make.  
  
And she talks to him, almost the whole time.  
  
"Nino and I used to race, when Alya first got good enough at their illusions for us to do this," she says, hopping up on a dark windowsill and waiting until he leaps up after her. "We thought we were hiding from Plagg at first but now I'm pretty sure he always knew where we were.  I think he'd have shown up again if we were ever really in trouble. But we're pretty good at avoiding most people like this, and cats know we aren't cats anyway." She leads him through an abandoned building and up another fire escape before she says, thoughtfully, "Actually, the illusions probably don't work on you either, do they?"  
  
When she glances back at him, he can see the way her raised eyebrow turns into the amused tilt of the calico's head.  
  
He shakes his own head. "They don't."  
  
"I knew it," Marinette says triumphantly, turning to pace forwards again. "Plagg would never answer me, but I didn't _think_ they were working."  
  
"They're not," Adrien says, trotting up beside her, just because he wants to _say_ something and by now he knows that she's not going to complain if he does. "I didn't even think about it before, but they haven't really worked on me from the start."  
  
"They never worked on you, did they?" Marinette asks, which leaves him feeling strangely conflicted. It's a painful reminder that she's _not_ actually hearing him, but she's also made it clear that doesn't preclude her trying to listen to and involve him.  
  
"I just really wish I could actually talk to you," he says to her back, softly, as she navigates through a rooftop garden with him right at her heels. He's not loud enough for her to hear, this time.  
  
He knows he's being selfish. He has Plagg and Nino to talk to, and even if he's finding it too easy to let them know more than he means to, that's more than he's ever had before. That's arguably more than he had as a human, when his father's never around and Nathalie never listens and the Gorilla never replies. He's grateful that Nino's helping him communicate with the others at all- Nino's under no obligation to do that for Adrien.  
  
But it makes it stand out in stark contrast to the times he _can't_ talk to them, like right now. His cat form hasn't brought out his sense of isolation quite so acutely in a long time now.  
  
And the first thing Marinette did when she met him was try to help him. He so _badly_ wants to be able to talk to her.  
  
"We're here," Marinette announces. "Looks like we just beat them- no, nope, never mind."  
  
Adrien's about to ask what she means by that (uselessly, but he can at least try), but seconds later Alya goes pouncing past and yelling in pursuit of a rat. He's still registering that (their actual form and their illusion are now _way_ too closely matched) when Plagg goes tearing past as well.  
  
"I'm getting a good vantage point, come on," Marinette says, gleeful, and leads him over to a rusted set of patio furniture. "These people always let their trash build up and there's always rats here. Alya and Plagg like to see who can catch more of them."  
  
"That can't be healthy," Adrien says, jumping onto a chaise lounge after her. He's following the illusion of a cat, so he misjudges and accidentally tumbles into her lap.  
  
"I know that sounds like a terrible idea but it's okay, they've both got healing spells. We all do, Tikki insisted," Marinette says, running her hand along his side. Then she freezes and asks quietly, "Is this all right, Chat Noir?"  
  
It shouldn't be. He should move, he should climb back down off the chaise lounge and find somewhere else to curl up, somewhere that isn't someone's lap. He shouldn't be burrowing into her like someone's pet cat.  
  
He doesn't want to move.  
  
He still isn't that sure he can _avoid_ being someone's pet cat.  
  
He's already let Marinette pet him, already let her carry him and slept on her bed; she'd still asked him if he wanted to come with her on the way here, still talked to him the whole time. She hasn't once ignored him. Even if- even if he can never be human around her, he thinks she'll at least keep treating him the way she has been.  
  
And he does like it when they pay attention to him.  
  
Adrien curls up small and pushes his head into her hands.  
  
She starts to pet him again and he's surprised to find himself purring. "Chat Noir, please let us know if we ever make you uncomfortable, all right? We don't mean to, but we won't always know if we are unless you tell us."  
  
"I will," he says, and he thinks he means it, this time. They've proven so far that they aren't upset by how skittish he's been or by how poorly he interacts with people. They didn't even seem exasperated when he'd been making a miserable wreck of himself in front of everyone. "I'll- I'll tell Plagg, at least." It's easiest to admit things to Plagg, somehow. Plagg has a context for some of his behaviours that the others lack.  
  
Marinette's gaze sharpens and she stills for a moment. Then, to his shock, she imitates one of his meows and says, "Plagg. That one's for Plagg, right?"  
  
"Ye-yes?" Adrien says, uncertainly, and then settles for nodding when recognition doesn't light her face that time.  
  
"Oh, _good_ ," Marinette says, her expression going relaxed and open at the confirmation. "Sorry, Chat Noir, I've had a lifetime to learn what Plagg means. I'm having a harder time with you."  
  
This is her having a hard time? Adrien doesn't think his father's figured out that a hiss means _don't_ yet, and Marinette has Nino to translate. He never expected her to try and understand him on her own.  
  
It might not last, once she realises how much effort it takes to understand him. Plagg's a part of her family and someone she grew up with, and she would have learned while she was growing; communicating with Adrien is likely to be much more difficult.  
  
He's so grateful that she's willing to _try_ that he butts his head against her hand and purrs louder when she runs her hand under his chin.  
  
Adrien's still too afraid to be anyone's familiar, but he's starting to see why Plagg would suggest it at all. If Marinette's teacher is anything like her student then Adrien's not sure how Plagg ever let her leave without him.  
  
He's honestly forgotten that the others are hunting until Alya pops up out of nowhere, grinning wildly, and drops a dead rat beside them. They whisper, "I'm winning," and then take off again.  
  
Their Somali illusion has a suspiciously bushy tail by this point.  
  
"Well that's charming," Marinette says dryly, sitting up just enough to move the rat to a different chair. "I should probably explain that we don't keep the rats, there's a cat colony we drop them off at. We have food at home."  
  
Plagg leaps down from somewhere, drops two rats, says, "They're not winning," and vanishes.  
  
"Um," Adrien says, blinking.  
  
"Yeah, you get used to it," Marinette assures him. "At least, I did. I don't think Nino ever has, but then, I also don't know if he ever talks to any rats."  
  
That is not something Adrien had taken into consideration. "Is he a vegetarian?"  
  
"See, this time I can guess what you said because it's what everyone says." Marinette brushes her hand along his back again. "He's not a vegetarian. He says most of nature is pretty eat or be eaten, and that if he was meant to be an herbivore he'd know it. Also, I think when we were kids he was kinda scared to sound like he disapproved of Plagg's eating habits.  I guess if one of your guardians is a carnivore it skews your perceptions a little."  
  
"He really helped raise you?" Adrien asks, feeling his tail lash. Then, remembering what she'd said before, he amends that to, "Plagg really helped raise you?"  
  
"I don't- hmmm." Marinette frowns. "I don't- really know what you said that time, but- Plagg's been around all our lives, and so has Tikki," Marinette says, watching him for a response. He nods, trying to convey that's what he'd asked, and she continues even as she ignores Plagg sprinting past with a third rat. "I still don't know how they even met our parents, to be honest. This isn't the first time Maman and Papa have left Plagg to watch us, though. Used to be more frequent when we were kids, actually, and back then he'd barely leave us alone to go hunt. I think he was really relieved when Alya finally admitted to him that they'd come up with a way for us to go with."  
  
"Alya, too?" Adrien says, quietly. He's an only child, and even when his mother had still been around his parents hadn't wanted him around other children. They'd been too worried about anyone finding out that he was cursed. He's wondered before how different his life might have been if he'd just had any siblings.  
  
He'd fantasized about that, about having an older brother or sister that might help him get outside safely.  
  
Marinette's family, that so easily incorporated so many disparate people, seems like such an out of reach dream.  
  
Marinette doesn't answer him that time- she doesn't _understand_ him that time, and his chest clenches painfully as he remembers that she can't _really_ hear him.  
  
"It was a little harder before Nino had Wildspeech, but Tikki's pretty good about translating for Plagg, too. Not that Tikki has Wildspeech, but well, Plagg's her familiar, so," Marinette says, sweeping one hand down Adrien's back, and it takes him a moment to process what she's said.  
  
When he does, though, he sits bolt upright under her hands, meowing anxiously.  
  
"What?" Marinette asks, taken aback. "Chat Noir, what is it? Are you- oh." Her eyes darken, suddenly. "You didn't- you didn't know that, did you."  
  
Adrien shakes his head before he sinks back down, kneading at Marinette's pants for a moment before catching himself. "No. No, I-" He stops. He stops, because he doesn't handle magic well, and he knows so much less than they do, and he's not a spellcaster like Plagg or powerful like Alya and like Marinette herself. He doesn't think he'd be much of a familiar. He's not even sure that he wants to be.  
  
But he could talk to her. He could talk to her like a person and not a pet.  
  
"Chat Noir?" Marinette says, gently. "Chat Noir- Adrien. I'm sorry I haven't offered, but I didn't think you'd want me to. If- if that is something you want to think about- you should talk to Plagg first, but familiars can agree to temporary contracts, too.  You never have to agree to anything long term."  
  
"Why would you even want me?" Adrien asks her, quiet and lost, but Marinette only sighs in response and starts to pet him again.  
  
"I really wish I could talk to you," Marinette says. "I love my own magic, but I'm jealous of Nino, sometimes."  
  
Alya runs by again, their illusion strangely blurred now. Adrien slowly realises that Alya has to be catching rats with their bare hands.  That's- that's kind of disconcerting, honestly.  
  
"Less jealous of Alya," Marinette says dryly. "Seriously, Plagg helped raise me and Nino, I have no idea what Alya's excuse is."  
  
"They're just kind of crazy, I think," Plagg informs them both, darting back in with another rat. He hesitates to leave again this time. "Kid?"  
  
Adrien picks his head up, even though Marinette's moved to rubbing lightly behind his ears and he really hates to move. "What?"  
  
Plagg doesn't say anything, though. He just looks at him.  
  
"Plagg," Marinette says, exasperated. "Will you just tell him you were worried? You know, like a normal person?"  
  
"I'm sorry, like a what?" Plagg says as Alya creeps up behind him with another rat. Their illusion has slipped even closer to looking like a fox by now. "Do we know any of those? Are you hiding someone on me?"  
  
"I can tell when you're being sarcastic, you know," Marinette tells him.  
  
"I'm okay, Plagg, really," Adrien says. "We were just-" He falls silent. He wants to say they were just talking, but they weren't, not really.  
  
"Kid?" Plagg puts his front paws on the chaise lounge, tail lashing behind him.  
  
"Tikki understands you?" Adrien asks softly.  
  
Plagg's tail falls still. The rest of him follows. "Yeah, kid. She's my witch. There's no curse in the world can change that."  
  
Adrien glances up at Marinette, then back at Plagg.  
  
"Oh." Plagg jumps all of the way onto the chaise lounge, curling up just past Marinette's feet. "That's what it takes to change your mind?" Then, a moment later, "That's _all_ it takes to change your mind?"  
  
"It was _your_ idea," Adrien says, a little defensively. His own tail lashes once before he can repress the impulse.  
  
"Yeah, and you were pretty strenuously opposed," Plagg returns, sounding just agitated enough that Adrien shrinks back, closer to Marinette.  
  
She moves, but only to keep petting him.  
  
"I'm not mad at you," Plagg says, gentling his voice. "I just want you to think about this more. You hated the idea _this morning_ , kid, that's a little fast to change your opinion."  
  
"But I could talk to her," Adrien says.  
  
Plagg looks at him a lot longer this time. Long enough that Adrien starts to get uncomfortable, that Marinette's hand against his back is all that keeps him from moving away.  
  
"Adrien," Plagg says at last, and Adrien thinks it's the first time the older cat hasn't called him _kid_. "How many people _have_ you actually talked to before?"  
  
Adrien stops meeting his gaze, suddenly very interested in his front paws. He has the sudden urge to start biting at his paws but he knows not to do that.  
  
"Chat Noir," Plagg says again. "Adrien. _Kid_. How many?"  
  
Not many.  
  
"A few," he says at last, but he still can't look at Plagg.  
  
"A few," Plagg echoes. "Yeah, all right. Was it less than ten?"  
  
"...yeah." He stretches his claws out, but retracts them before they can come in contact with Marinette's pants. "Yeah. It was less than ten."  
  
"I'm not saying don't do it, all right?" Plagg reaches over to swat at him gently. "I'm saying think about it first. You're sixteen, you're supposed to have a lot more life experience by now."  
  
Adrien flinches.  
  
"I'm not blaming you," Plagg says, clearly exasperated. "It's pretty obviously not your fault. But kid, do you even _know_ anyone other than us?"  
  
"I. No." Adrien drops his head again, curling his tail around himself. "Not. Not really."  
  
"I'm not blaming you," Plagg repeats. "It's not your fault. And if after you think about it you still wanna do it, then I'm all for it, but you didn't even know familiars are supposed to have _contracts_ til this morning. It's not something you should rush into."  
  
Adrien hasn't been paying attention to their illusions in a while, but suddenly the way his much lighter tail looks like it's curled over a calico flank is fascinating.  There's so _much_ he doesn't know.  He's had lessons, and he likes to think he was a good student, but he'd never guessed at how much he'd never learned. "You said you'd teach me."  
  
"Do you _want_ me to teach you?" Plagg asks. "You never did actually say, before. Shit, kid, we can start with all of the familiar stuff if you want. We can start as soon as we get _back_ if you want."  
  
"Please?" Adrien asks, still staring at his tail.  
  
Plagg pauses again. When Adrien risks a glance up at him, the older cat looks thoughtful. He sits back upright as he says, slowly, "You're not real used to asking for things. Are you."  
  
That's not a question.  
  
Adrien doesn't say anything.  
  
(He's _asked_. It's answers he's not used to).  
  
Plagg breathes out, loudly, and stands the rest of the way up. He hesitates before jumping back down, first waiting long enough to turn back to Adrien. "Kid. I meant it, what he did to you was _wrong_."  
  
Adrien doesn't have a reply for that, either.  
  
He wants to say that they'd really _had_ to guard him that securely, that they didn't have a choice because _Adrien's_ the one who persists on running away even knowing that he's putting himself in danger, but it's too hard to find the words to explain.  
  
He has a suspicion that Plagg won't be convinced, anyway.  
  
Alya doesn't win. That's not surprising, since Plagg's been a cat at least as long as Alya's been _alive_ , but Alya's still pretty obviously disappointed about it.  
  
Adrien doesn't take them up on their offer to show him the route they'd taken here. He opts to follow Marinette again instead.  
  
Halfway back he gives in and asks her to carry him, though he has to resort to butting against her leg until she stops and then sitting back to paw at her shin. He's not sure how clear he manages to be but she does seem to understand almost immediately.  
  
"Are you sure?" Marinette asks, pressed up against the lee of a building with him. "You don't really like being picked up, right? And we're not in a hurry, Chat Noir."  
  
"Please?" he asks tiredly, stretching up to put his paws on her legs and looking up at her. "I just need to think."  
  
"Oh," she says softly, staring at him for a moment before shaking her head with a low exhale. "All right, Chat Noir."  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my beta, shinobicyrus, reading this: you... are aware people dont typically just. catch rodents. with their _bare hands._  
>  me, who has done that exact thing multiple times: sorry, what?
> 
> (i mean probably dont do that because _diseases_ but there have been extenuating circumstances. uh, repeatedly).


	6. worth a pound of wisdom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huge thanks to shinobicyrus for betaing this fic!

Plagg flicks his whiskers at them when he sees Marinette carrying Adrien in. Thankfully, he doesn't say anything about it.  
  
Nino's still asleep, and Alya goes to join him fairly quickly- neither they nor Plagg have any rats with them anymore. They must have dropped them off on the way. Marinette kicks her shoes off and her illusion drops entirely when Alya disappears down the end of the hall, but Marinette glances down at Adrien still curled up in her arms and makes her way to the couch instead.  
  
She curls up on one side against the armrest, still cradling him, and waits for Plagg to jump up and join them.  
  
Adrien _could_ jump down, but- he doesn't really want to.  Marinette doesn't seem like she minds.  He's purring again and he keeps brushing his head up against her hand because, oddly, the way she pets him is one of the most reassuring things he's ever felt.  She's cautious and respectful and he knows if it's suddenly too much she'll stop. He feels relaxed and calm and not in the distant, sedated way a spell causes; he feels _safe_ relaxing.  Marinette isn't going to hurt him.  She isn't going to startle him unless it's an accident and she's not going to hold him in place if he does decide to move.  
  
He's never really thought before about how no one's ever just _held_ him as a cat.  They've grabbed him and scruffed him and picked him up, but he's never had anyone hold him close like this, never had anyone who handles him this gently and carefully and still remembers that he's human. He really believes that if he wants to move she'll let him and he likes being able to have that faith in- in _anyone_.  
  
"Thanks," Plagg tells Marinette, for some reason Adrien can't follow, and then, "Kid."  
  
"Yeah?" Adrien says, resting his head on Marinette's knee.  It's getting harder to keep his eyes open. He shouldn't be so worn out, he rested before this and he hadn't actually done much of anything while they were out, but he still feels so run down.  
  
Plagg sits down close enough that his tail drapes over Marinette's leg and then leans over to gently headbutt Adrien, before sitting back up and saying, "Did she tell you about temporary contracts?"  
  
"Yeah, she did," Adrien says, lifting his head and blinking. "How'd you know?"  
  
"How'd- because my witch _taught_ her, kid," Plagg says. "I know that's the first thing she'd have made sure you knew. Marinette's not gonna rush you into anything, you know, and she wouldn't ask for anything long-term.  She wouldn't do that to you."  
  
Adrien's silent, thinking about Tikki teaching Marinette and about the way Plagg calls Tikki 'my witch.' There'd be a symmetry in that, he thinks.  Plagg's agreed to teach him.  The least Adrien could do in return is agree to contract with Marinette, temporary or not.  
  
He's still scared but he already owes them so much.  
  
"You've never even seen a contract," Plagg tells him gently while Adrien's still lost in thought. "Come on, kid, stay with me on this. You need to know more about them before you agree to anything, right?  
  
"...yeah," Adrien says, shaking himself a little. He catches himself kneading at Marinette's jeans as he stretches. Suddenly embarrassed, he forces himself to stop.  
  
"Okay," Plagg says, watching him with an odd tilt to his head.  He paws at the couch himself a moment before saying, "Contracts can be verbal, but that's not generally recommended these days, except in certain circumstances. Mostly people write them down. I'd show you mine, but our pact is... older. We didn't actually get around to writing anything down."  
  
"So it doesn't need to be," Adrien says, curling his tail around himself again and resting his head on Marinette's knee again. Marinette's not ignoring them, exactly, she's still petting Adrien, but she's snatched up a book from somewhere and started reading it rather than interrupt them.  
  
"No, it doesn't need to be," Plagg agrees. "Mine's not. But it probably should be, kid. I've known Tikki a very long time, and the conventions were a whole lot different when we made our agreement. And we were- uh, in kind of a hurry, that first time. You're not. You have time to plan things out and write them down. That's part of what contracts are _for_ , so that you can hammer out details before they become problems."  
  
"Details like what?" Adrien asks, and then realises he has a much more pressing question. "Wait, I don't- I don't actually know- what does a familiar normally do, exactly?" He knows his father casts stronger spells with Nooroo's help, but he doesn't actually know much more than that.  Nathalie's always put off any questions about familiars and he's never been that comfortable asking.  
  
"Oh, gods, kid," Plagg says, uneasily. His tail lashes several times before falling still. "You still aren't sure and you were that willing to contract? Just because she'd understand you?  You do get that she's still gonna try and do that without a bond, right?"  
  
"Plagg." Adrien's claws flick out for half a second, almost puncturing Marinette's clothes before he draws them back in.  He knows Marinette will try, but he doesn't know how long he has before she realises it's not worth the amount of effort takes.  "Please."  
  
"Yeah," Plagg mutters. "But if I ever meet your dad- shit, kid." He raises his voice again. "Most of us are spellcasters in our own right, like I said before. But if you have a witch it makes you both stronger- your spells have more power behind them, better range. If the familiar has a wild talent, then you'd both share it as long as you had a contract. If someone had a pact with Nino, for example, they'd have Wildspeech as long as they both held their end of the bond."  
  
"Someone could bond with Nino?" Adrien asks, confused.  
  
"Kid, what exactly did you think- no, actually, never mind. I don't think I want to know." Plagg flicks his tail, brushing it across Marinette's leg and Adrien's whiskers both. "Yeah, anyone with magic can agree to a contract. In fact, anyone with magic can agree to either side of a contract, witch _or_ familiar, although wild talents like Nino's tend to fall on the familiar side more often and domains like Marinette's tend to fall on the witch side.  Illusions is a weird domain, it's pretty equally split, but- look, think of witch and familiar more like- job titles. They're something you _do_ , your domain is what your magic actually _is_."  
  
"Plagg," Adrien says, tentatively, because this is another thing everyone's spoken about like it's something he should already know. (And because the notion that there _are_ human familiars is something he isn't prepared to process). "I- how do you know what your domain is, exactly?"  
  
Plagg buries his head in his paws briefly, then says, "Yeah, I have no idea why I expected you to know that. They're- it's your specialty, basically, and usually you start showing signs of what it is when you're pretty young.  Marinette tended to bleed good luck into everyone else, and Alya watched Jumanji and then their class had lessons in a jungle for a few days. That was pretty funny."  
  
"Their class?" Adrien asks, struggling to keep up.  
  
"Yeah," Plagg says.  "They went to class with other kids their age til they were thirteen and officially apprenticed.  That's- how most people do things, these days.  Although, admittedly, most classes get split up by domain and theirs didn't.  Which not everyone liked, but- it was a lot more effective that way."  
  
"Why-" Adrien starts, and then stops, unable to work out what he wants to ask.  
  
"Because it's easier to teach a group of kids the same spells and people get lazy," Plagg says, watching him. "You _can_ learn spells outside your domain, Alya could learn creation spells and Marinette could learn illusions, but it's a lot harder and they won't be as effective. Wild talents are different, they can't be learned, so Nino can't teach anyone else Wildspeech but he does have a domain.  He doesn't really use it because he chose to use his wild talent instead."  
  
"So Marinette and Alya's domains are creation and illusion?" Adrien asks, even as he wistfully pictures learning alongside Nino and Marinette.  He's always wished he could go to an actual school, but they don't enroll cursed students for safety reasons.  
  
At least, that's what he's always been told.  He isn't actually sure anymore if it's true.  
  
"Well, Marinette has both creation and good luck, it's possible to have two.  Not real common, though, Tikki has the same two and that's- rare," Plagg says, twitching his tail again and making Adrien sneeze.  "Alya's is illusion, yeah. Nino's actual domain is wild, we think that's why Marinette's misfire gave him Wildspeech but he likes just having that enough that he never really became a spellcaster. He knows some defensive spells but that's about it."  
  
"What's your domain?" Adrien asks, instead of what he really wants to ask.  
  
Plagg flops over onto his side, kneading at a throw pillow. Adrien's starting to feel a little ridiculous for being embarrassed over the petting when Plagg clearly has no remorse whatsoever about acting entirely like a cat. "Mine are bad luck and destruction, kid, same as yours."  
  
"Mine's..." Adrien blinks, resting his head further on his paws and feeling his tail twitch. "I have two? The same two that you do?"  
  
"Yeah," Plagg says, and then he hesitates.  
  
"Plagg?" Adrien asks, tentatively. "Is that... bad?"  
  
The other cat sits back up with a sigh, wrapping his tail around his paws. "No, kid, it's not bad.  They're dead useful for a lot of things, actually, and if you ever want to learn some active magic I know a lot of good spells for both.  But most people don't... like bad luck or destruction, very much.  There's a reason that I'm cursed, and there's a reason Tikki and I made our agreement in a hurry."  
  
"Oh," Adrien says, quietly. He wonders if his father is one of the people that doesn't like his domains, if that's why he's never discussed it with him.  Whenever he's tried to ask Nathalie she's insisted that domains should be private and then changed the subject.  
  
He wonders if his domains are what got _him_ cursed, too.  If maybe that's why his father's always been so overprotective.  
  
"Yeah, I'm losing you," Plagg says dryly, one ear flicking back. "You still need food and sleep, kid, crashing after a panic attack isn't really restful."  
  
"I ate earlier," Adrien says, confused and distracted. He doesn't argue with the sleep part, though. He really is still tired.  
  
Plagg starts to say something, then stops, looking at Adrien with narrowed eyes. "Okay. How many times a day do you usually eat?"  
  
"Once?" Adrien says, bewildered. "I mean, more than that when I was younger, but it's not like I get as hungry as I did then.  I don't need as much food now.  And after- after Mom-" He stops. He's not sure he can finish that sentence.  
  
He's not sure he needs to, because Plagg's buried his head in his paws again and started groaning.  
  
"Plagg?" Marinette says, sounding amused as she sets her book down.  
  
Plagg looks at her, lets out the same demanding meow he'd used to tell her Adrien was hungry before, and jerks his head at the younger cat.  
  
"I'm not," Adrien protests.  
  
"Yeah, I'm not real convinced of that," Plagg mutters. "You don't have to eat, kid, but I'm betting once the food's actually in front of you, you'll want to."  
  
Plagg's right.  
  
Marinette decides she's hungry, too, and finds enough food for all of them, and Adrien's kind of shocked to realise just how hungry he actually is.  
  
"How'd you know?" he asks, as Marinette hands him the sausage and pepperoni off her pizza and Plagg swipes the cheese off an entire slice. Marinette looks down at it, sighs, and starts eating it anyway.  
  
"You're a lousy hunter, you'd been on your own for days, and I know when you've eaten since you came here?" Plagg says, trying to steal more cheese. Marinette moves her plate closer to Adrien. "I'm more concerned that you _didn't_ know. What, late night snacks not a thing?"  
  
Adrien purrs at Marinette when she hands him two slice's worth of sausage. "The kitchen's locked at night." So is his bedroom, but he has the feeling Plagg won't react well to hearing that.  
  
"Of course it is," Plagg mutters. "Why wouldn't it be."  
  
They demolish most of the pizza between them. Marinette puts the rest in the fridge for Nino and Alya and offers to help Adrien back down off the table before saying goodnight.  
  
Adrien sits down and stares after her, feeling oddly bereft, and realises he has no idea where he's going to sleep.  
  
"You can sleep wherever you want, kid, I'm gonna be in the living room," Plagg says, brushing past him. "You know where everyone else is."  
  
He doesn't say anything about Adrien not wanting to be alone. He seems to accept that as a given.  
  
He's not _wrong_ , so Adrien finds himself following him.  
  
Plagg stops.  "...I usually sleep in the cat tree, kid. I can stay out of-"  
  
"No," Adrien says, hurriedly, pawing at the carpet.  "No,  I'll be okay, you don't have to- sleep somewhere else."  
  
"Yeah," Plagg says. "Sure.  Just- you can wake me up, you know."  
  
Adrien doesn't say anything.  He knows he's not going to wake Plagg.  
  
Plagg jumps into one of the lower enclosed areas on the cat tree and is out like a light in minutes. Adrien circles the cat tree a few times, but he can't bring himself to get any closer to it than the base without feeling his heart start to trip in his chest.  
  
He's not really surprised by that, but he'd hoped to have less of a reaction to them by now.  
  
He tries the couch next but the expanse of fabric leaves him feeling small and alone and he abandons it in a hurry.  
  
With Nino and Alya sharing a room it feels too much like an intrusion to join them, so Adrien makes his way up to Marinette's instead. He's not sure he remembers Plagg's trick with the trapdoor but it turns out not to matter. She left it open.  
  
He tries not to let himself think that she left it open for _him_.  
  
Adrien has his front paws on the ladder up to her bed before he stops and asks himself what the hell he thinks he's doing.  
  
"Chat Noir?" Marinette asks sleepily, rolling over to look down at him. She yawns while he's still frozen in self-recrimination. "You can sleep here again, I don't mind. Do you need a hand up?"  
  
"What?" Adrien says unsteadily, but she's already scrambling out of bed to help him back up.  
  
Marinette sets him down near the head of her bed. He curls himself up at the corner of her headboard, pressed against the wall and half under the pillow, trying to keep himself out of her way.  
  
He should just leave.  
  
He doesn't think he can.  
  
"Hey, it's okay, Chat Noir," Marinette says, turning to face him. "Adrien, sorry. It's kind of a unique set of circumstances, I know. I wouldn't offer if it bothered me."  
  
"It bothers _me_ ," he says unhappily, but her expression doesn't change and he sighs. Then, feeling like an idiot even for trying, he says haltingly, "I don't mind Chat Noir. You wanted- you wanted to call me by name. No one's done that in a long time.  You- you did it right away."  
  
He means that, he thinks. Even if she did mean the name for a cat- they all call him by name so _often_.  He'd needed to hear Adrien from them earlier, and he probably will again, but- he doesn't mind which name they use when he's not being stupid, because he's so relieved that they call him by a name at _all_.  
  
And Chat Noir had felt so oddly right, when they'd cast to give him claws. To give him a way to defend himself.  
  
"I'm really glad you made it to us," Marinette tells him, reaching out slowly enough that he could duck away if he wanted to. He doesn't want to; he lets her pet him instead. "Adrien, if- if you-" She cuts herself off.  
  
Adrien blinks at her, slowly.  
  
Marinette breathes in, then says steadily, "Did Plagg talk to you about contracts, earlier?"  
  
Adrien nods, pressing his head into her hand. "Yeah."  
  
She runs her hand under his chin and he starts purring almost immediately. "If you want a contract, after you know more about them- I'd be willing. I mean, if I'm someone you'd want a contract _with_ , we could do that," she says.  
  
"But I'd be terrible," he says, softly, staring at her eyes and wilting a little bit when there's still no sign of comprehension. "I'd be- I have- I can barely handle magic.  I'd be the _worst_ familiar. You deserve so much better." He shuts his eyes and curls his tail around himself, even as he leans into her hand more. "You're amazing, you could have any familiar you wanted. You shouldn't settle for me."  
  
"Good night, Adrien," Marinette says, and he hurts knowing she heard none of that.

Adrien retreats back to the corner of the bed, but it's a long time before he can fall asleep and he doesn't sleep well when he does finally doze off. He jerks awake gasping for air twice and the third time he finds himself curled up against Marinette's stomach, burrowed under her blankets.

He tells himself he'll move in a minute, but he falls back asleep almost immediately.

He stays asleep this time.


	7. better to be born than

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy solstice!

He wakes up still huddled close to Marinette.  
  
He wakes up purring, and when he tries to stop he can't.  
  
He should move. She's still asleep, he should move.  
  
She wakes up right after him that time, though, and he doesn't have _time_ to move.  
  
"Good morning, Chat Noir," she says, half through a yawn, before frowning to herself. She rests one hand on him to keep him from falling as she starts to sit up. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm having so much trouble with that. I'm usually really good at keeping everyone's names straight, I swear."  
  
"I like Chat Noir," he tells her again, but he's already pretty resigned to needing Nino to tell her that.  
  
Marinette looks around the room and groans. "I think we slept past noon. Man, every time they leave Plagg in charge, everyone's sleep schedules wind up really off."  
  
"I think that's my fault," Adrien says, hopping down onto the bed and looking up at her guiltily.  
  
"He does this every time," Marinette mutters. "He always takes us out in the middle of the night and he never wakes us up early enough the next day. _Every_ time. It's a good thing none of us are in lessons this time. Sorry, Adrien, we didn't mean to get you on our weird schedule." She sighs and pushes the blanket out of the way. "Come on, let's go see if any of the others are awake. I swear Alya needs less sleep than the rest of us, somehow."  
  
Alya's awake. Alya's in the living room tossing paper airplanes at Plagg, who's either sound asleep still or ignoring them entirely, and they stop guiltily when Marinette comes into the room with Adrien right behind her.  
  
" _Alya_ ," Marinette says, clearly exasperated.  
  
"Hey, he knows what happens when he lets us sleep in," Alya says, shrugging. They glance down at Adrien and add, "Marinette's just worried because I usually put catnip on them. I didn't this time, I promise."  
  
"Catnip?" Adrien repeats uncertainly.  
  
Plagg heaves himself up with a groan, shaking himself and sending paper airplanes scattering out onto the floor. "No, you know what, that one I refuse to believe. _Catnip_ , kid, there's no way you haven't heard of that."  
  
"I know what it _is_ ," Adrien says, stung. "I just- didn't think about it affecting you- us, I guess."  
  
"It doesn't, actually," Plagg says dryly, jumping down and ambling over to butt heads with Adrien. "It's just really satisfying to play tricks on Alya." He pauses and looks thoughtful, then says slowly, "At least, it doesn't work on me. You… I'm actually not sure about you."  
  
"What?" Adrien says, following Plagg as Marinette takes three different books from the bookcase and sits down on the floor beside the couch. "Why would it be different for me?"  
  
"I don't really know, kid." Plagg jumps onto the couch and sprawls out, letting his tail hang over the edge. Adrien looks at him for a long moment and then goes to sit next to Marinette instead. "But you're a lot closer to carnivorous than I am and I've been a cat a very long time. You definitely shouldn't have more feline traits than me, but somehow you do."  
  
Adrien shrinks back against Marinette at that, half-raising one paw and then setting it back down slowly. He shouldn't be surprised. It isn't like Plagg's the one sleeping on anyone's bed or spending all his time begging people to pet him.  
  
It's still discouraging.  How can he expect them not to see him as a pet when he lets himself _act_ like one?  
  
" _Kid_ ," Plagg starts, then sighs. "There's nothing _wrong_ with that, you know. Come on, you know how often Alya runs off lookin' like a fox? Because honestly it's kind of getting weird, and they have absolutely no excuse for that."  
  
Alya drops down onto the couch and pushes Plagg off to one side. "Hey, I can tell when you're making fun of me."  
  
Plagg sits up and bats at their arm, unamused. Alya bats back at him. "Then stop doin' things I can make fun of."  
  
"Marinette said she'd be willing to contract with me," Adrien blurts out, anxiously, because he desperately wants Plagg's advice and he doesn't know how else to _ask_.  
  
The older cat leaves off play-fighting with Alya and hops down to join Adrien on the floor. "I mean, that's gonna be up to you, kid. Well, you and Marinette. But don't-" He sighs. "Listen, if it's important enough to you to talk to her that you want a pact, then I'm not gonna tell you not to. That's your choice and hers to make, not mine. But don't feel like it's your only option, all right, kid?"  
  
"I do really want to talk to her," Adrien says, curling his tail over his front paws. He stretches just enough to flick his claws out and waits a moment before retracting them. "I want- the way you talk about Tikki, I-" Plagg sounds so _happy_ when he talks about his witch. He obviously trusts her more than Adrien thinks he's ever trusted anyone.  
  
"Kid, I've known Tikki for- most of our lives," Plagg says gently. "You've known Marinette for a little over a _day_. Are you really sure you want to pact with one of the first people you met here?"  
  
"She offered," Adrien says, almost in a whisper. "She offered, and I- I don't know if I'll ever get another offer."  
  
"You will, if you still want one," Plagg says, tilting his head.  "You do have a lot of magic, kid.  Even if you never want to use it yourself you could be a powerful familiar.  You'll have _plenty_ of other offers, and you don't have to accept _any_ of them."  
  
"Plagg, I-" Adrien presses himself closer to the ground, not entirely consciously.  He doesn't know _how_ he feels about hearing that he could be powerful.  He's never felt like he has any power at all. "I don't know if I'd even be any _good_ at being a familiar. I don't- like spells. They don't- they feel really- I don't like being around them."  
  
"Spells aren't supposed to feel like that," Plagg says softly, lying down close enough to Adrien that their fur is brushing. "You don't have to be a familiar at all, you know.  A lot of people never do contract. It's not _for_ everyone, there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with _you_."  
  
"But if I can't be a familiar- I don't- I don't want to be a pet," Adrien says, huddling miserably closer to Plagg.  
  
" _Kid_ ," Plagg rumbles, letting his breath hiss out between his teeth. "That is not- it's not a one or the other thing. You're still human, no one- _no one_ gets to keep you as a pet. It doesn't matter if you never agree to a contract at all. No one _ever_ gets to call you a _pet_ , all right?"  
  
Adrien's been warned for almost as long as he can remember that someone's likely to see him running loose one day and decide they want him for a pet. It's not something he thinks he can shake. "I'm a cat, Plagg, it's not like there are other options.  You're- you _are_ a familiar, I don't even- I don't- know," he finishes lamely. He doesn't know _what_ he doesn't know.  
  
Adrien's not a spellcaster like Plagg. He's not- he can't be the kind of familiar Plagg is, the kind that knows how to boost magic and help with casting.  That's good enough for Marinette and Nino's parents to trust him with their children.  
  
Adrien was too nervous to be near a spell meant to _help_ him and panicked at something as stupid as a cat tree. He's nowhere near good enough to be Marinette's familiar, and- and that's it, he still can't think of any option that isn't familiar or pet.  
  
Or stray.  
  
But he- he thinks that being a stray would be even worse, now that he's found people that are this kind to him.  He hadn't been very good at that either, anyway.  
  
"Oh, gods," Plagg says under his breath. "Tikki sure picked a bad time to be out of town… I mean it, no one _ever_ gets to call you a pet, kid. _No one_ , whether you're a familiar or not. You're more than a cat. Curses don't make you any less your own person. Shit, I'm down on official paperwork as one of these kid's guardians, and I don't even remember what I looked like as a human." He pauses, then adds, "Devilishly handsome, I assume."  
  
That pulls Adrien out of his self-deprecating spiral enough that he actually stifles a laugh.  
  
Plagg looks incredibly pleased with himself. He starts to groom his tail as he says, "I don't actually think I've heard you laugh before."  
  
"I- I haven't, here." Adrien's laughed before plenty of times, but always at something in a movie or a book. He's not sure if he's laughed around other people since his mother was still around. "Not- not around anyone else in a long time, I guess."  
  
"Well, that's depressing." Plagg finishes grooming his tail and moves closer to groom Adrien instead.  
  
"Why- why do you do that?" Adrien asks, flinching and then relaxing as soon as he can make himself fully register that it's just Plagg.  
  
"What, groom?" Plagg asks, distracted. "It's a social thing, kid, it's-" He sighs. "Right, it's a social thing. It's- " Plagg looks torn for a minute, but then says, slowly, like it's being dragged out of him, "It's how cats show affection."  
  
"You- you barely know me," Adrien says, thinking of the way Plagg had started trying to groom him before they'd even cast the spell to give him his claws back, the way that Plagg had draped himself over Adrien and purred just because Adrien had been breaking down over nothing.  
  
"Yeah, well, I was worried," Plagg says. "Which, if literally anyone else asks, I have never admitted to being about anyone ever."  
  
Adrien snickers again, surprising himself, before he gathers himself and says, "But- why would you worry about me? You just met me."  
  
"Common human decency?" Plagg says, taken aback. "Feline decency, whatever. Honestly the fact that you're even _asking_ is worrying enough. You were trailing broken spells and you pretty obviously weren't a cat, it didn't take a lot to realise you had to be in some kinda trouble."  He hesitates, then says, so quietly that Adrien's not sure he's meant to hear it, "I couldn't have left you sleeping in that box, kid."  
  
Adrien can't find a response for that. He'd tried to look like he didn't need help, but he's honestly grateful that he didn't succeed. After all the warnings he's heard that someone might decide to just pick him up and take him home with them he never expected it to be the best thing that's ever happened to him.  
  
He doesn't want to admit how much he wishes it had happened sooner, not when he's actively tried to avoid it in the past.  
  
"Hey, Adrien," Alya breaks in, swinging themselves around so that their head hangs off the foot of the couch and their feet are against the back of it.  They wait for Plagg's nod to continue. "While Marinette's trying to remember which spellbook has constructs in it, wanna figure out what kinda illusion you want?'  
  
"Hey," Marinette says, without looking up from her book. "Give me a break, here, do you know how much is on that bookshelf?"  
  
"Less than Trixx has on theirs, and we find stuff okay," Alya teases.  
  
Plagg snorts. "Yeah, 'cause Tikki organised it ages ago."  
  
"I may not know what you said, but I can recognise your tone just fine," Alya tells him, before turning their head back to Adrien, hair draped down to the floor from their position on the couch. "Seriously though, I can try out some illusions on the- on the recliner over there, and you can point out the ones you like better?"  
  
"They want me to choose?" Adrien asks Plagg, surprised. "I thought- I thought they'd just pick one."  
  
"Of course you did," Plagg mutters, sprawling onto his side so that part of his weight is leaning against Adrien. "Yeah, kid, it's your choice.  And you can always change it later if you change your mind, Alya likes practicing this sort of thing." He snickers.  "You should see some of the illusions they've tried out on Nino."  
  
Adrien shifts a little to avoid being squashed, but he finds if he leans back into Plagg a little the weight is actually a steadying comfort. He's still resting right up against Marinette's legs on the other side, but there's enough space above and in front of him to keep him from feeling enclosed.  
  
And then Plagg starts purring, and Adrien actually goes a little limp with the unexpected sense of reassurance.  
  
"Well?" Alya says. "You can just nod or shake your head, and then once we've got a basic idea Nino can help us narrow it down later. Sorry, by the way, he's sleeping in since he didn't get a lot of rest while he was working."  
  
"He'd get more rest if he wasn't always chasing down foxes to ask if they wanna work with _you_ ," Marinette says, still without looking up.  
  
"I'm not apologising for that," Alya tells her. "I've never actually asked him to do that."  
  
Plagg and Marinette both snort.  
  
"I _haven't_ ," Alya insists, stretching and narrowing their eyes at the recliner.  "He does that on his own. Anyway, you're distracting me. Adrien-" They point at the recliner and it's suddenly wearing an oddly generic human illusion.  "Thoughts?"  
  
Adrien blinks, because he's pretty sure he recognises that model from a video game, and shakes his head.  
  
"Aw, all right," Alya says, and switches to a different image, one that he _definitely_ recognises from a fighting game. It's over the top and ridiculous and Adrien starts snickering before he can help it.  
  
Alya looks pleased with themself. "Yeah, that sound I recognise. How about… Sheng Long?" they say slyly, changing the illusion again.  
  
Marinette groans, finally looking up at that. "You're not gonna take this seriously, are you?"  
  
"I mean I _am_ ," Alya says, switching instead to a female character model Adrien doesn't recognise, then to Chun Li, who he does. "But your part is boring and gonna take _days_ , why shouldn't we have some fun in the meantime?" They glance down at Adrien, grinning. " _Are_ you having fun?"  
  
He's kind of surprised to realise that he is. He nods at her, settling his head on his paws and purring as her illusion changes to Zidane Tribal.  
  
"I like that one," Plagg says immediately, raising one paw into the air. "I like his style."  
  
Alya snorts. "You're not voting, Plagg. But wanna see some more Final Fantasy ones? I got really good at them back when Nino and I were trying to race through the games."

" _Yes_ ," Adrien says, nodding fervently, because he's played those same video games and it's such a relief to have them reference something he's actually _familiar_ with.  There's been so much that he doesn't recognise at all since he got here- it's nice to know there _is_ an interest they have in common.  
  
When Nino finally does wander in, Marinette's on a fourth book entirely and Adrien and Alya are snickering as they illusion Plagg into looking like Yuffie Kisaragi.  
  
Nino stops, blinking, sighs, and then says, "I feel like Vincent makes more sense."  
  
"That save point trick, Yuffie makes _perfect_ sense," Alya retorts.

Nino rolls his eyes and climbs over the couch to slide down next to them, holding something out to Adrien. "Sorry, I woke up late and then I was looking for this. It's a tablet.  It's, uh, it's a touchscreen, so- you probably still can't really type on it with paws, sorry, but I thought you might wanna read and it'll totally work for that. Just tap it to get it out of sleep mode."  
  
"What?" Adrien says- whispers, actually.  
  
Plagg visibly shakes off Alya's illusion before nudging Adrien with his head.  "It's a tablet, you can read or surf online with it.  Bet you get pretty bored as a cat, right?  Dunno if you're much of a reader but it's good to have some options."  
  
Nino sets the tablet down on the floor with him. Tentatively, Adrien reaches out and taps it with one paw, then flinches back slightly when the screen flares into brightness.  
  
"Sorry, I can turn that down," Nino says hastily.  "Uh- I don't think settings is gonna work well with paws, is it okay if I take it back for a minute?"  
  
"I don't mind," Adrien says, very quietly. He isn't sure he wants to _admit_ that he isn't really sure what 'surf online' means.  It can't actually be related to surfing, but he has no other context for it.  
  
He knew before that he's never actually had much choice in what books or movies he had access to, but he hadn't realised until talking to Plagg just how restricted his access to information had truly been. He can't understand why his parents would have done that.  Hadn't they wanted him to learn? His father's always been so stringent about his education that Nathalie's tutored him every day for years. There has to be- there has to be some reason they'd kept certain information from him.  That they'd kept so _much_ of it from him.  
  
He just- can't figure out what it could be.  
  
"Here," Nino says, relocating to the floor and angling the tablet between himself and Adrien.  He does take a moment to adjust the screen brightness before he sweeps his hand down the side of the displayed page. "Uh, I tried to get it set up, so lemme know if there's anything you want changed? But this is-" he gestures at a list of titles at the right side of the screen, then swipes his hand over it and pulls them into the center. "There's some books and articles on here, and there's movies if you swipe the other way. I don't, uh, know what you like, dude, so it's kind of a mix? But if there's anything you want on here just let one of us know and we'll try and find it."  
  
Adrien crouches on the floor in front of the tablet, feeling his tail curl in around himself and his ears go slowly back before flickering upright. When he reaches out slowly with one paw again Nino slides the tablet closer.  
  
Adrien shouldn't be reacting like this.  He shouldn't be- he doesn't even know how to _describe_ the sudden surge of apprehension he feels.  He gets- he gets gifts all the time, usually as a reward when he hasn't tried so hard to get outside for a while.  
  
He goes still as soon as he has that thought.  
  
They- wouldn't. He thinks they wouldn't. Plagg _asked_ him to come outside with them, and they've shown him how to get out, and he-  
  
He hasn't actually tried to, though. He has no idea what they'd do if he tried to go out without them. He doesn't- actually _know_ that they wouldn't stop him, the way Plagg had that first night, or that they wouldn't come after him if he left.  He thinks they'd let him go if he wanted to, or at least he wants to think that they would, but- he doesn't _know_.  
  
Adrien can feel the panic coming on, this time.  He knows he shouldn't start biting at his paws the way he does, he _knows_ that, but he doesn't know how else he can try to stave off the breathless fear that threatens to pull him under and drown him.  
  
"Hey," Marinette says, sounding anxious herself. "Adrien, hey, don't- what is it?" She moves like she's going to reach for him, but Adrien cringes back and she stops moving entirely.  Softly, she says, "Adrien, you're- you're going to hurt yourself, _please_ \- what is it?"  
  
He doesn't know _how_ to tell them what it is. He doesn't know how to articulate that gifts are a reward for being well-behaved, that being well-behaved means staying in his room and doing as he's told, that they're for being quiet and obedient and he doesn't _like_ the reminder that he so easily goes quiet and obedient, that maybe he'd have been able to get loose sooner if he'd just tried _harder_.

(-that maybe if he'd just been quiet _enough_ , obedient _enough_ , they'd have _listened_ to him).

"I'm- staying, already, though," Adrien does force out, unsteadily.  "I don't- need- you don't need to give me anything, I'm not- I wasn't going to- to run off."  
  
"Kid, it's not-" Plagg moves in closer to him, dwarfing him as he presses up against his side and purrs louder. "No one meant it like that."  
  
"You don't have to take it," Nino offers, a little desperately. "I'm sorry, I just- thought you'd- like some way to read or watch stuff without asking us. We don't want you to feel like you have to ask permission.  I didn't- think- I didn't mean it as a bribe or anything, dude, I _swear_."  
  
He wants to believe them.  He wants to believe them so badly.  
  
He's starting to pant for air, even with Plagg purring at him.

Alya moves very slowly to take off their overshirt and drape it gently over Adrien.  
  
He flinches as it settles, but the flannel is soft and warm as it drifts around him and he burrows into it in gratitude a moment later.  It's loose enough to be comforting instead of restricting and it still smells like Alya and Nino, like fallen leaves and warm pavement under his paws.  Marinette and Plagg are on either side of him and close enough that when he tries to make himself smaller he's still sheltered on one side by Plagg, still pressed up against Marinette on his other side.  
  
He would have thought he'd feel trapped like this, but he doesn't. It's easier to try and slow his breathing when he has somewhere to hide, when he isn't really looking at anything.  
  
"All right?" Marinette says, very softly, and he realises she's been talking to him for a while.  "We can move Alya's flannel if you need us to, Adrien, but sometimes it helps to have less to focus on."  
  
"I'm- alright," he says, shakily.  It's not as bad this time as it was before.  "It did help. I'm sorry, that was- that was stupid of me, I don't-"  
  
"Adrien, it's not stupid," Nino says, gently, and he feels Marinette flinch a little at his side.  
  
"He's right, it's not," Marinette says, pained. "Adrien, people have panic attacks.  If it was Nino having one, you wouldn't think it was stupid, would you?"  
  
"He'd have a _reason_ , though," Adrien says unhappily, tucking his tail around himself and pawing the flannel down further, trying to surround himself with it.  "A real one."  
  
"Dude, your reasons aren't any less real than mine," Nino says.  He hasn't moved closer, but he hasn't moved away, either. Adrien does think he's put the tablet away somewhere.  "People can have panic attacks for all sorts of reasons.  I told you, I have them in crowds, and it's not like I'm in actual danger when it happens.  _No one's_ reasons are stupid, all right?  Including yours."  
  
"…I'm being childish, though," Adrien says, in a very small voice.  He's never known they had a name before, but he's been told to stop throwing childish fits often enough.  
  
"Kid, you're _not_ ," Plagg says, resting his chin over Adrien's head and purring so loud it rumbles through them both. "People have them.  _Adults_ have them.  You're not being childish."  
  
"Adrien, I'm sorry," Nino says.  "I left the tablet on the hall bookcase.  Does it- does it help if I tell you that it's the tablet Marinette and I shared for schoolwork?  You can think of it as a loan?" Anxiety's creeping into _his_ voice, now.  
  
"A little," Adrien says, when he manages to think about that for longer than a second. "Yeah. It- it helps."  
  
"Do you need to get outside for a while?" Plagg asks him in a low voice, tilting his head.  
  
Adrien cringes, unable to decide on an answer for that.  It _is_ stupid, that he's suddenly so panicked that they won't let him leave on his own when he's _afraid_ to leave on his own.  "I don't… know. I-- yes, but I- don't-"  
  
"Kid?" Plagg asks cautiously, nudging him.  "Do you need to get outside _by yourself_ for a while?"  
  
" _Yes_ ," Adrien says, immediately, but he's pressing into Plagg even as he says it. "Yes, but I don't-" He whines a little, involuntarily, and then buries his head in his paws, mortified at himself. "I don't feel- safe."  
  
"Okay," Plagg says, calmly.  "I can cast a hide-me spell. I can cast it on Nino first, if you want me to, so you can see exactly what it is.  Then you can go outside without us and without anyone else seeing you.  Would that work?"  
  
He doesn't know.  He doesn't know if he's more frightened of feeling unable to leave, or having someone cast on him again. The two are too tightly bound together in his mind.  "M-maybe. But- what if I get lost?" He's not used to having to find his way _back_ once he's gotten outside.  He's not sure he's ever _gone_ back on his own.  
  
"Kid, you're smart, you won't get lost," Plagg says immediately.  "If you're really worried about it, then just try to stay nearby, but you're not gonna get lost, okay?"  
  
"I…" Adrien's still shaking.  Plagg has to know, when Adrien's burrowed this close to his side, and Marinette has to know too.  "I don't know.  I, I don't-"  
  
"Hey, Adrien, it's all right," Marinette says gently, still not making any moves towards him.  "Is there- how can we help?"  
  
"Nino?" Adrien says quietly.  
  
"I can tell her?" Nino asks him, sounding like he wants to be sure.  
  
"Yeah." Adrien buries his head in his paws a second time and tries to stop himself shaking.  When he starts to bite at his paws again a moment later, though, Plagg gently butts his head away. "I'm sorry."  
  
"You don't need to apologise," Nino says, pained.  "You didn't do anything wrong.  Uh- Marinette, he needs to be outside, on his own this time.  He's worried it's not safe, though."  
  
"The balcony's shielded really heavily, Adrien," Marinette replies right away.  "Unless that's not far enough outside? There's- I think I can extend the wards a couple rooftops over if Nino helps, although we might need Alya too."  
  
"Balcony," he says immediately, shying away from thinking too hard about why.  "Balcony, not the- not the spell.  I- you don't have to extend the wards, I don't need- I just need to- to be outside."  
  
"Okay." Plagg sits upright with a resolute flick of his tail, though he stays right next to Adrien.  "Nino, kid, don't worry about the wards, actually. I need to reinforce them and I can do that from here, you and Marinette don't need to do anything."  
  
"Plagg?" Adrien asks anxiously.  
  
Plagg looks back down at him. "Hey, I set the wards in the first place, kid.  I can reinforce them from anywhere I want. Come on, go on upstairs and get outside,  you should be able to see the shielding if you look for it."  
  
"I-" Adrien hunches down, ears going flat again. "I can't-"  
  
"Is it-" Nino hesitates, before saying slowly, "Do you want me to come with you, and the others will stay here? And once you're outside I'll leave you alone, for as long as you want?"  
  
"… _yes_ ," Adrien says, relieved and guilty at the same time. "Can I- can I keep-"  
  
"I'll bring Alya's shirt with," Nino says, but then he hesitates again.  He sounds uncomfortable as he says, "But I don't- are you okay for me to pick you up, dude?  I don't have to, I just don't- know what you'd prefer, right now."  
  
The reminder that they always _ask_ before they pick him up helps to steady Adrien, a little.  Even if they weren't already reassuring him that they won't keep him inside, at least if he did have to be kept inside _here_ it would be with people who _listen_ to him.  "It's- it's okay. You can pick me up."  
  
Nino's very careful, making certain to gather up the flannel along with Adrien and letting him stay burrowed into it.  
  
They're almost outside before it even occurs to Adrien that this is the first time he's let someone other than Marinette carry him. It's still not as comforting as the way Marinette holds onto him, for reasons he can't seem to pin down, but he finds he trusts Nino not to hurt him, too.  
  
"Here you go, dude," Nino says softly, opening the window and setting Adrien down just outside it.  "I dunno where Plagg's moving the wards to, so I guess keep an eye out for that,  but usually they're all along the railing.  I'm gonna leave the window open, okay, Adrien?"  
  
"Wait," Adrien blurts suddenly, remembering that he'd had something to ask Nino. "Wait, I- wanted you to tell the others, I don't- I don't mind Chat Noir, most of the time. I-" He looks down, pawing at the ground bashfully.  "I like being called by name.  Any name."  
  
"Oh," Nino says. He sounds strangled. "I- yeah. I'll tell them.  Uh, anything else?  I was gonna get something to eat, you want anything out here?"  
  
"Tell Alya I'm sorry I'm getting their shirt dirty?" Adrien says, in a small voice. "And- tell Marinette thanks. For the name."  
  
"Alya has like six more shirts just like it and can illusion more, don't worry about it." Nino rubs his forehead.  "I'll… tell Marinette that, though.  You want food, or-?"  
  
"I'm not hungry." Adrien burrows a little further into the flannel, but he does glance around the balcony, trying to see if he can find a comfortable spot to check the wards from.  He's seen plenty of wards before, but the ones at the mansion had never only been to keep people _out_. Instead the mansion's wards had grown so sharply confining that Adrien had come to think of them almost as a living entity, as some creature that breathed malice and shrank in closer around the boundaries of his world with every breath.

He doesn't _think_ the wards here are going to keep anyone in, and they definitely don't feel anything like the constricting shields did, but he still wants to _see_ them.  
  
"If you say so, dude," Nino finally replies, slowly, and then he retreats back inside.  
  
It takes Adrien a long time to make himself move from his original spot.  
  
He _can_ see the wards when he looks, a soft shimmer to the air that surrounds the patio but still feels malleable enough that he never even noticed them when they were up here before, and that does start to help.  They don't feel anything like his father's wards and that helps, too.  
  
Eventually, Adrien curls up beneath the patio table, dragging Alya's flannel with him to drape around himself.  His claws keep snagging and he has to bite at it to move it, and the feeling of fabric in his mouth is unpleasant, but it's warm and it smells like his friends and he doesn't want to leave it.  
  
Adrien stills.  
  
It smells like his _friends_.  
  
They _are_ his friends already, he thinks. Friendship isn't- isn't something he has any prior experience with.  Sympathetic glances exchanged with Nooroo in the seconds before a spell or the odd day when the Gorilla pretends not to see an escape attempt are the closest he's ever been.  
  
He wonders what's happened to the Gorilla, a little guiltily.  With Adrien gone his bodyguard's out a job, but Adrien's successful escape wasn't the man's fault.    
  
When Adrien finally looks at the wards again the spell-shields encompass the whole balcony and a roof away on each side. They're also still very clearly not meant to keep anyone in, and yet- and yet there's something else about them now, something new. Adrien pokes his head out enough to sniff and twitch his whiskers at the strange sensation and then sits back in surprise.  
  
The wards _recognise_ him.  Better than; he finds a handful of people coded into them, people they let through without fuss, and he's _one_ of them.  
  
"Thanks, Plagg," he whispers, blinking rapidly, before burying his head in his paws and breathing unsteadily a moment longer.  It's not an imminent meltdown this time, at least. It's just- he's just overwhelmed.  
  
He can't believe how _nice_ these people are.

Maybe it's because they're already used to Plagg, but- they haven't once seemed put off by his curse, either.  They're more upset about- about how his father treats him.  
  
He doesn't want to think about that.

He buries himself in Alya's flannel instead, in the scents and sensations of his friends, in the sense of _having_ friends, and shuts his eyes.

It's not much longer before he finds he's started purring to himself.


	8. of the draw

Originally Adrien intends to stay outside as long as he can, but his rising anxiety drives him back in much faster than he'd like.

He drags Alya's overshirt back through the window with him, painfully slowly, but then he realises there's no way he's going to be able to get down from the bed with it. Marinette's been helping him up and down, or Plagg has; he's _still_ not sure he can navigate the ladder very well on his own.

"Come on," he mutters to himself, dropping the overshirt in resignation and putting one paw down on the ladder. "You used your climbing wall all the time, you can manage a _ladder_."

He'd used his climbing wall as a human, though. He's still less agile as a cat. He's never had enough _time_ to learn to be more coordinated on four legs- he's always just started running. Climbing or acrobatics, like Plagg is clearly capable of judging by how fast he'd moved along the rooftops last night, would only have slowed him down and gotten him caught sooner.

But now Adrien really, really needs to learn to get around more easily as a cat.

Besides that, there's no one else in the room, and he balks at the idea of having to call for someone to come help.

(He wanted to be alone this time, but he already doesn't like it. He doesn't want to be upset that there's no one in the room waiting for him when he _told_ them he needed to be alone, but he is anyway, and he _hates_ it).

He eases a second paw down onto the ladder.

Then he stops, confused, because he thinks if he puts a third paw down he's going to overbalance, but he can't just stay where he is. After a moment of stress he tries to stretch one of his front paws down again, trying to edge one back paw onto the ladder as well at the same time.

That's a bad idea.

He does end up tumbling down the ladder, but thankfully there's a rug at the bottom that breaks his fall.

He's also apparently not quite cat enough to land on his feet.

"Ow," Adrien mutters, heaving himself back upright, glancing around sheepishly even though he already knows no one else is up here. He does spot a note on the floor near the open trapdoor, though.

It's harder to read as a cat, which he still isn't sure he wants to admit to the others, especially since it doesn't seem like Plagg has that problem. It's harder, honestly, to focus on things that aren't _moving_ , that don't catch and keep his interest as easily.

He tries to bury the uneasy feeling that it has to do with what Plagg said earlier- that Adrien is somehow more _cat_ than Plagg is, despite how much longer Plagg has _been_ a cat.

The gist of the note seems to be that everyone's downstairs in or near the kitchen. The longer he's alone the less he wants to be, so Adrien makes his (much slower) way back down the stairs.

Plagg sees him first, hopping down from the counter and ambling over to greet him by bunting his head against Adrien's. "Hey, kid. Better?"

"Yeah," Adrien says quietly, suddenly unaccountably shy. He tilts his head. "You- you changed the wards for me."

"Yeah," Plagg admits. "I don't want you to feel like you gotta stay, kid, 'cause you _don't_ , but if you are then you should be at least as safe as the rest of us." He stretches. "And like I said, they're _my_ spells. They're easy enough to add someone to."

"Hey," Marinette says, too, waving them both over towards the table. (She keeps her movements slow and exaggerated, though, and even though Adrien's not proud that she feels the need to do that he's also relieved). "Less talking, more food. Don't worry, we didn't let Alya make anything."

"I would take offense to that, if it weren't really, really accurate," Alya teases her. They lean back and gesture lazily at one of the plates. "Hey, Adrien, we didn't know how long you'd be but there's plenty for you, too."

Adrien freezes up a little bit at that, but- food's not the same as expensive gifts. He's never been rewarded with food.

Something about that thought is really upsetting.

He does his best to shove it aside, shaking himself all over and jumping up to the table. At least jumping up _onto_ things is getting easier. His problems with the ladder aside, maybe he is starting to get better at being a cat.

That gives him mixed feelings, too.

"Here," Nino says, sliding a sandwich towards him. "Yours is, uh, really only bread and lunch meat. Mostly lunch meat, sorry. We still don't have a ton here you can eat, but there's, uh, more ham and turkey?"

"That's fine," Adrien says fervently, ducking his head. Alya slides him a mug full of water and he doesn't know what to do with the sudden rush of gratitude that it _is_ a mug and not a bowl. "Thanks."

He's a lot hungrier than he'd realised, again. He ends up eating his sandwich a lot faster than he'd expected to (eating bread still feels weird in this form but it doesn't make him feel ill the way sweets did).

Plagg pulls several slices of cheese off his sandwich, then slides the rest of it towards Adrien. "I think you're hungrier than I am, kid."

Adrien backs away and shakes his head. "I can't take yours."

"Okay," Nino says, getting up. "I can make you another one. Who else wants a second sandwich?" he adds, raising his voice slightly. "Alya, put your hand down, I assumed. You always do."

"Yeah, so you could just make it from the start," Alya says dryly. "Marinette does."

Marinette waves lazily from her seat across the table. "Not Marinette's turn. He's your boyfriend, deal."

"He's _your_ brother, you're supposed to be on his side," Nino says, sliding Alya and Adrien each another sandwich and sitting back down with one of his own.

"He's my brother who did not offer _me_ a sandwich," Marinette says, getting up herself and gently brushing her hand across Adrien's back as she goes by. To his own surprise, he doesn't flinch at all.

" _You_ can get your own," Nino says, tearing into his own sandwich.

They don't seem to be planning to bring up anything about Adrien's earlier panic attack.

He starts to relax more, slowly.

"Alya can also get their own," Marinette says dryly as she elbows the refrigerator open and Adrien tenses up again.

Plagg headbutts him before he can get too snarled up in doubts, though. "Kid, Alya has opposable thumbs. She didn't mean it like that."

"Oh- no, dude, none of us meant it like that," Nino says hastily, looking up from his sandwich. "We're just teasing each other, honestly."

"Oh," Marinette says, turning away from where she's making more than one more sandwich for a moment. "Yeah, sorry, Adrien, I- guess you- " She looks suddenly very troubled. "Wait, you _don't_ have siblings, right?"

"Ah- no," he says, staring at his plate so that he doesn't have to see anyone watching him. "I always- always kind of wished- no, I'm- an only child."

"Huh, I literally can't imagine that," Alya remarks, tipping their chair back onto two legs. "I have three sisters and I'm always over here whenever it's not my turn to watch Etta and Ella." They make a face. "I _told_ them to talk to your parents before naming the twins."

"We know," Nino and Marinette chorus, wearily.

Alya scowls and waves their sandwich at Nino. "Children are not dolls! Twins are not a matched set!"

"We are, really, very well aware of that," Marinette assures them as she returns, brushing her hand across Adrien again and sitting down next to him. He's not certain if he's imagining that she's sitting closer than she was before or not.

"I- yeah, sorry." Alya deflates. "I just- I know they're fine with it _now_ , but I don't think they're gonna be when they're _older_."

"Then you can just send them over to talk to us," Nino teases them. "We've already heard all the stupid things people say about it."

"Like- like what?" Adrien finally asks, tilting his head at Marinette, both because he's curious and because he's aching to be a _part_ of this conversation.

"You would not believe how many people hear I have a twin brother and immediately ask if we're identical," Marinette says immediately.

"…Twin _brother_ ," Adrien repeats, blinking, and Nino sighs as he translates that.

"I know," Marinette assures him. "At this point I say yes and walk away. It's funnier to see if they ever catch on."

Nino leans back far enough to yank Alya's chair back down, earning himself a glare. "I like 'are you psychic' better. You can fake it and everyone believes it. I mean, it's almost like I've known her _all our lives_." He rolls his eyes.

"Okay, you can't actually hold that one against anyone," Alya points out. "Lots of twins _do_ have linked or complimentary magic. Like, I think Etta and Ella might, honestly. Not totally sure yet, considering the whole _trickster magic_ thing."

"Listen, _someone_ in your family had to have it as an actual domain eventually," Marinette says. "Also, I sure can hold it against people who are actually _looking_ at us. Adoption is a thing."

Alya and Plagg both snort.

"We were _four_!" Nino exclaims. "Seriously, is anyone ever going to let that go?"

"No," Plagg says, sitting back from his empty plate and then eying Alya's. "It was too damn funny, I'm never letting it go. You didn't _believe_ them."

Nino flushes.

Alya starts snickering.

"Okay, seriously, we were four," Marinette says, exasperated. "We didn't know. And it doesn't matter anyway!"

"Yeah, all right, fair enough," Alya acknowledges. "It's still funny, though."

"You know, my point was don't worry about your sisters," Marinette points out, before turning to Adrien. "You want to know what siblings are like, they never let you forget any mistake ever."

Alya raises their hand. "I am not actually a relative. I think that would be weird, considering."

"You're some kind of in-law that never leaves, I think," Marinette says, which makes Nino flush again. "That has to count for something. Also we've known you forever."

"It's not _forever_ ," Alya protests. "We were like six."

Adrien blinks and sits back, not sure he can eat anything else. "Ten years is a long time, though, isn't it?" he asks softly.

"I mean, yeah, ten years does feel like a long time," Nino says, a little startled. "But it's- we met in school. We met most of- most of our friends in school, actually."

"…Oh." Adrien crouches, wrapping his tail around himself. "I always wanted to go."

"Yeah, I wish there was still some way to bring you," Nino says, pained. "But we're- mostly people only stay in those classes 'til they're thirteen. We were all apprenticed pretty early, too, sometimes when that happens they pull you out sooner- none of us were, all our teachers thought there was more benefit to staying in class with the others as long as possible, but it's not uncommon."

"Really?" Adrien asks, curious, and definitely more than a little jealous, but then he finds he can't quite figure out what it is he wants to _ask_. Nathalie's always taught him, but the more he talks to his new friends the more he thinks that what his father and Nathalie called his lessons aren't the same thing Nino and his family are referring to.

"Yeah, really," Nino says, a little gently. "Which not everyone did, a couple of our classmates did get pulled earlier, but mostly we all stuck around as long as possible. I mean, they're our friends, our class was- we were always pretty close." He shrugs. "We're kind of a weird one, we were the first class the school agreed to try with a whole mix of different domains. Which meant we could all learn to kinda work with each other, instead of just- just hyperfocusing and ending up thinking that our magic was somehow better than everyone else's." His voice turns wry towards the end.

Alya groans. "I'm still not even convinced that _was_ the same Lila, Nino, let it go already. Illusionists don't have to show up looking like _themselves_ , you know? Why would she even bother?"

"What?" Adrien says, lost again.

His confusion must be clear enough, because Marinette sighs and brushes her hand along his side as she says, "We did have one classmate that, ah. Well. She didn't start out in our class, and she didn't end up staying- she was _definitely_ one of those people who had- uh, opinions about other people's domains."

Uncharacteristically, Nino scowls. "Or about people who prefer not to use theirs. There's nothing _wrong_ with having a talent you like _better_."

"Babe, it's not important," Alya tells him, putting her hand over his. "It's been years."

"Yeah, but she was pretty especially mean about it," Marinette mutters. "And I think you're wrong, Alya, I'm honestly really sure it was her. There was- there were too many things that happened that year that _can't_ have happened, and you were the only other Illusionist." She shakes herself. "Sorry, though, Adrien, we're kind of just going on about ourselves. Is there-" Her voice turns cautious. "Is there anything you wanna tell us, about how- about learning from-"

Marinette doesn't seem sure how to end that sentence, and it leaves Adrien with a strange feeling, like his stomach's gone hollow and wrapped itself around his ribs. He doesn't want them to have to try so hard not to upset him. He doesn't want to be that easy to _upset_.

He _is_ , though, and he doesn't know how _not_ to be.

"I didn't go to- I couldn't go to school," he says at last, resting his head on his paws and shutting his eyes rather than watching his friends struggle not to say anything that could affect him badly. It's depressing to think that _is_ a struggle. It's worse to think that they're probably right, that there _are_ things they could ask that he's likely to react badly too, and worse yet that he doesn't even know what they _are_. "I, uh. Nath- my- Father's assistant taught me, I had, uh. Daily lessons. I- I had piano and Chinese for a while, too, but those didn't really- last."

They didn't really last because those aren't things Nathalie really knows how to teach. They're the only things his father ever agreed to teach him instead, and Adrien had tried to throw himself into learning them, because he- he'd just wanted-

His father's proud of him, he's sure he is. Father has photos from modelling shoots up all over the main part of the mansion, after all. That has to mean- that has to mean _something_.

But Father never did seem to maintain interest past the first few lessons- after that, he'd be gradually busier and busier, and forget more and more often, until Adrien finally realised he no longer had _any_ lessons on piano or Chinese. His father's never even mentioned it, he just- quit teaching him at all.

He'd begged to learn fencing, too, because it was something else his father had been interested in once, but the fencing lessons hadn't even lasted a full day.

By then he was more surprised that they agreed to it at all than he was that it didn't last.

"Yeah?" Nino says, hesitantly. "Did you- Mom speaks Mandarin, is that something you liked learning?"

Adrien picks his head back up, blinking up at Nino. "I- yes. I didn't- get to learn it long, but I liked it."

"Well, shit, kid, you can still learn that," Plagg says, sitting back from his own plate and beginning to wash his front paws. Distantly, Adrien notes that no one's made any comments about Plagg being in the kitchen this time. "I know Mandarin, too. So does Tikki. I already said I'd teach you, if you wanna learn that _too_ there's no reason you can't. And Tikki and Sabine would both be pretty thrilled, honestly, that _someone's_ learning it."

Nino throws his hands up. "Listen, I'm bad with languages, all right? Is talking to the local wildlife somehow not _enough_ for you?"

Marinette gently pushes his hands back down, rolling her eyes.

"I-" Adrien shrinks back, slightly, when he realises that everyone's looking at him by now. "I don't want to take up all your time..."

"Kid," Plagg groans. "Like half the reason I stayed a cat is all the free time. You're not gonna make a _dent_ in it."

Adrien's pretty certain that's not true, if only because Plagg's been around almost constantly since he first brought Adrien home, but he's still grateful to hear it. "...I'd love to learn Mandarin again. I was- I think I was doing pretty well, before they- stopped."

No one asks him to explain that.

He _wants_ to, though, he wants to say it isn't as bad as whatever they're thinking, that it's only because Father's business took him away too often to keep to their original schedule and then they just- hadn't resumed, but- he can't get the words out. He doesn't understand why but the words refuse to come. He just- can't seem to actually _say_ any of it, though he opens his mouth a couple of times in an attempt.

Alya, surprisingly, is the one who gives him a sharp look at that, but they still don't ask for an explanation.

Nino scratches the back of his head. "Sorry about the piano, though, dude, I don't think that's- ah, none of us ever did know how to play, and we don't have one."

Plagg snorts, and Adrien waits for the older cat to point out that playing the piano with paws isn't likely to happen anytime soon anyway.

"Also, Nino is really, really tone deaf," Plagg says instead, dryly. "If we _did_ have a piano by now we'd probably have found some way to ensure its demise. Seriously, he's bad."

Nino sighs and slumps back in his chair with a tired air of defeat. "Yeah, thanks for that Plagg."

Plagg finishes cleaning his paws and moves on the cleaning his whiskers. "You're welcome, kid."

"Is there anything else you liked to do?" Marinette asks gently, clearly used to following the kind of scattered conversation Plagg and Nino are having. "I'm still having trouble finding the right spells, I don't want you to get stuck with nothing to do while I'm trying to find them."

"Fencing," Adrien says, despondently.

"Yeah, I've been asked to not teach anyone that again," Plagg says, and Adrien turns to stare at him.

Plagg shrugs, a gesture that still looks unnatural on a cat, but one he's clearly practiced. "They were eight and Marinette asked. No one asked if I was gonna be any _good_ at teaching it."

"Fencing went badly," Nino assures Adrien, but he looks amused.

Adrien thinks about lessons that have 'gone badly' and wonders what that means for them, because they don't seem to have bad memories associated with it. He _really_ wonders how Plagg would have attempted to teach that at all.

He completely forgets that he was asked a question until Marinette nudges him.

"Anything else?" she asks him, gently.

Adrien tries very hard not to look down at his paws as he says, quietly, "Video games. And I- I do like to read, but I." He stops.

"You don't have to use the tablet," Nino says, carefully. "I just thought- that a touchscreen would be easier. You can always use one of our computers, or- we have plenty of actual books, dude, you can always read any of them."

Plagg flicks his tail. "I mean, it does get a little tricky with paws, but you get used to it faster than you think. There's only so many ways to turn a page."

"Was that a 'to skin a cat' joke?" Nino asks him, suspiciously.

"Not that you can _prove_ ," Plagg returns, flicking one ear.

"I, uh." Adrien's claws flick out and he hastily retracts them, nearly catching them against the plate. He ducks his head, but his whiskers brush the edge of his mug and he winces at the sensation before drawing back. "That's not- really the problem. I can't- I can read fine as a human, but I can't- see the words very well, as a cat." He glances at Plagg, hoping to see some kind of recognition, hoping that maybe Plagg will say something like 'oh yeah, you get used to that, too.'

Plagg doesn't say that.

For a split second, he thinks that Plagg actually looks _worried_.

"Huh, okay," Nino says, thoughtfully. "But your hearing's fine, right?"

"Yes?" Adrien says, tentatively. "It's- my hearing's better as a cat, actually."

Nino shrugs and crosses his arms on the table, leaning his head on them. "So we dig out our audiobooks. We have some of those, too. And- there's podcasts, I guess. Dunno if there's anything we can do about the video games, though, dude, sorry about that." He frowns, looking honestly upset.

"It's fine!" Adrien says hurriedly, because he'd never have thought of audiobooks on his own and he's not even sure what a podcast _is_. "I don't- I'm pretty used to being- to being bored, really, I'll be fine."

"Kid." Plagg jumps down to the floor, coming around to where Adrien's sitting and stretching up to put his front paws on the table.

Plagg is big enough that he doesn't have to jump to do that.

Adrien looks back at him, nervous now.

Plagg tilts his head. "Just 'cause you're _used_ to a thing doesn't mean that it should keep _happening_ to you, all right?"

"Seriously," Nino says. "It's not- dude, honestly, you just- don't seem like you've been real happy in a really long time. That's- not cool. And if there's any way we can change that, we _want to_."

"Yeah, Adrien," Alya says, slumping across the table to put themselves at eye level with him. "And actually, I might be able to find something easier for you to read? I can mess around with some illusions, like, I dunno, larger letters and stuff."

"I- maybe?" Adrien says, hesitantly. "I- it's a lot harder to focus on- things that aren't moving."

Plagg tilts his head at that, starts to say something, and clearly changes his mind. "That's- okay, kid, that's harder but I bet they can still do it."

"Alya, can you do something about-" Nino frowns, looking like he isn't sure how to phrase what he means, and finally follows up with, "I guess it's easier to focus on things that are moving?"

Alya shrugs. "I can probably do that. I managed to get Kim's stuff readable, and trust me dyslexia was a _lot_ harder to figure out than making words move is likely to be."

Marinette's eyebrows go up. "So _that's_ why his grades jumped."

"Yeah, I guess he couldn't get his folks to believe him, or something?" Alya shrugs. "But _I'm_ not dyslexic, so we were having to go back and forth on everything every, like, minute and a half until we got something worked out- moving letters has _gotta_ be easier." They stretch. "Speaking of, are you gonna go back to- wait, did you ever actually find that book?"

"No," Marinette groans, slumping over the table. "I don't know how I can keep missing it, but I keep finding books _similar_ to what I need, not the actual one I'm looking for."

"Hold up, constructs have gotta be in more than one of your books, right?" Nino says, looking confused. "You- what, you can't find _any_ of the right ones?"

"I can find plenty of books on _constructs_ ," Marinette corrects him, gloomily. "But I was looking for a specific one, I wanted to try a human construct. Not just like- not just a generic golem or something, I swear one of these books had homunculi."

"Okay, outvoting that," Nino says hastily. "What exactly is wrong with a basic construct?"

"Oh for- not that kind of homunculi, you watch too much anime," Marinette says, exasperated. "I just- meant more human. I thought-" She falters, with a guilty glance at Adrien. "I guess I thought it would help."

Adrien can only blink back, suddenly speechless at the thought that _that's_ the reason she's been searching through different spellbooks all morning. He's not- she doesn't have to _do_ that for him.

Marinette's already helping more than he's ever dreamed _anyone_ would. Part of Adrien is still wary, much warier than he'd like to be, because- because Plagg _did_ pick him up off the street and drag him here and insist he stay, initially, and Adrien has been _warned_ about that- but they- they're so friendly, and they'd helped him right away, and Marinette had so immediately been both helpful and _kind_. This isn't- this isn't at all what Adrien's been led to believe people would treat him like, not as cursed as he is.

His curse has cast a terrible shadow over his entire _life_ , and while he doesn't- exactly- mind his cat _form_ (he's never had much chance to really get used to it until now, because with a few unhappy exceptions he's always been so focused on simply _running_ ), he's never liked the way even his father and Nathalie have always treated him _like_ a cat when he _is_ transformed. His mother hadn't been quite as bad but- but she'd done it, too.

These four _don't_.  Adrien can't even _prove_ to them that he's human and they've still accepted it so easily. 

Part of him is still waiting to wake up, and he thinks that feeling's likely to linger.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am a twin can you tell  
> (we look very very different and it is sometimes an Adventure)
> 
> im gonna be super busy and tired as of tomorrow so posting is likely to slow down after this, unfortunately. im gonna try to keep it pretty often tho.


	9. is tenacity of purpose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh... shinobicyrus kept asking for a catnip scene...

Alya is teasing Marinette about trying that hard to find a specific spell, he thinks. He's not paying quite enough attention to know for sure- he'd been staring into space, mostly, but then his eyes catch on the cat tree, on a toy mouse mostly hidden on the highest part of it, and he almost flinches just from _seeing_ it.  They still haven't asked him about that, not even Plagg, who has probably the best idea of exactly what it was that set Adrien off initially.

Adrien wishes his family was more like Marinette's, and he feels terrible about that, but he doesn't think he can help it.  He feels so much less stressed here and that underlying urge to _run_ that he's had as long as he can remember finally seems to have settled down.

They haven't once treated him like he was only a cat. Marinette hadn't so much as pet him without asking first, even before he could tell her anything, before she knew anything _about_ him.

His parents knew he didn't like the cat carrier. They knew he understood them perfectly well, transformed or not, they knew that, they _must_ have known that, and he'd tried and tried and _tried_ to tell him while he was human that he _hated_ it, he didn't like it when they scruffed him and he hated his carrier and he knows not to bite and they didn't have to- they didn't have to _muzzle_ him, he _knows not to bite_ , but they- they always acted like- whenever he was a cat they acted like none of those conversations had ever _happened_ , they'd still kept him in a carrier and they'd still bought him a muzzle and-

His mother had played with him, sometimes, as a cat.

She wasn't ( _hadn't been_ ) much of a spellcaster herself; she couldn't cancel the curse, only Father had ever been able to do that, so occasionally Mother would keep him company while they waited for his father to have an opening in his schedule.  When Adrien was very young his mother would coax him into chasing ribbons or flashes of light, or into batting around small balls that jingled satisfyingly when he swatted them.

Adrien had enjoyed that, at first, when he still _was_ very young.  But- she hadn't stopped, as he got older, as he realised slowly that his mother didn't-

That she didn't treat him the same way, when he was transformed.  That she didn't talk to him the same way. 

(Marinette had spoken to him more like an equal even when she'd still thought he was a cat).

Mother didn't talk to him like he was human still.  Endearments that had seemed touching when he was a kitten turned scorching, turned his desperate itch to get loose and _run_ into a constant thrumming _ache_.

Mother hadn't called him by name when she played with him as a cat.  She'd called him pretty kitty, or kittycat, or even just _good boy_ and he-

He hadn't minded _so_ much, when he was very young and happy to take any sliver of time he could _get_ to enjoy his parent's company.  As he grew older it became increasingly uncomfortable, and he didn't know how to ask her to stop.  They were only- only fond nicknames.  She didn't mean it.  She _didn't_ mean it. They were only _words_ , he shouldn't be so touchy, he'd just been overreacting.  Adrien knows he's oversensitive, he knows he sometimes reacts badly to innocent comments. She was only being affectionate and he- he wants that, he does, but not- like that.

(But he should have taken it anyway.  He should have accepted that was the level of affection he could actually get).

Adrien _had_ managed a single disastrous conversation about it, a single afternoon when he'd worked himself up to asking her to please, please, just call him by his own _name-_ the name she  _gave_ him- when his curse changed his form, because he doesn't- like the reminders that he's not- that he's not-

That he feels _less than_ human, a lot of the time.

...most of the time.

That he's scared of that, that he's afraid he really _isn't_ quite human, that maybe that's a part of the curse too, and he doesn't- like it, when she talks to him like he really is a housecat, when she talks to him as though he doesn't understand her any more than she does him.

(And it's not as though they'd ever think to _tell him_ , if there _is_ more to his curse).

He'd only just managed to stammer out the beginning of that, in a rush that tangled into teetering on the edge of incomprehensibility, finding himself unable to look his mother in the eye as he tried to explain.

But he's always been quiet, and she'd spoken over him nearly immediately, and she'd been so- she'd been so _hurt_.

She'd been nearly in tears as she insisted that she only meant the nicknames fondly, that she brought him the cat toys so that he had something to do when he had to wait for a break in his father's schedule before he could be changed back.

Adrien had tried again to tell her that he doesn't want or need cat toys, that the bells and ribbons and feathers made him feel like something deep in his chest was shrinking and squeezing around his rib cage every time he saw them, and she had- she had tearfully insisted that she was only trying to help, that she loved him dearly but didn't he know how _hard_ it was to try to raise a son who would never be able to leave the boundaries of their property and have a normal life, didn't he know how much time and effort his parents put into trying to keep him safe while they worked to fix him? That even Nathalie gave up her own personal time to teach him and to help with research and casting?

He'd tried to tell her he didn't like the spellcasting, either, he didn't like the way it felt.  He didn't like never knowing what exactly they were trying to do, because they never _explained_ anything.

She'd rebuked him for that, too.  She hadn't- actually _called_ him ungrateful, but- but the sentiment was there. It had made him shrink back, unable by then to completely articulate exactly _why_ he didn't want her to call him little one or pretty kitty or _anything at_ _all_ similar to that.  He'd struggled to say much of anything else by that point, looking anywhere but at his mother as a frustratingly familiar shock of panic crept up his spine and blocked his throat.

She'd left and locked the door behind her and it had been one of the nights the itching beneath his skin was most unbearable, when the need to get _out out out_ overrode his common sense and drove him to climb the walls and drive his nails into the cracks of the doorframe and the windows and try to pry them open.

That hadn't worked (that never worked), but he'd found that the opening to the vent system in the corner of the room was positioned so that it was not, technically, within the property boundaries- and that he _did_ fit through it as a cat.

It didn't take them long to catch him again.

He hadn't been out long at all, but it had been enough that when Nathalie caught him she'd snuck up on him and actually used the catchpole, and he hates and fears _that_ nearly as much as he does his carrier, and then she'd used it to dump him _in_ his carrier and shut the door.

That had been the first time she cast a sleep spell on him as well, though it certainly hadn't been the last.

He'd woken up disoriented.  He'd woken up back in his room, left in an ungainly sprawl on the couch that could only mean Nathalie had been too frustrated to wake him properly and had simply left him in the first reasonable place she could find, and though he'd woken alone it hadn't been long before the lock turned and his mother slipped in.

He remembers those first few minutes in perfect, vivid clarity, down to the words she'd said.

"Oh, my sweet boy," she'd started, sighing, joining him on the couch and stroking one finger down his neck in a movement he'd flinched away from- he'd still been too sensitive to the lingering feeling of the catchpole tightening around his neck, dragging him back to Nathalie, to his carrier and to his frustratingly limited world. "I really wish we could make you understand, kitten, it just isn't _safe_ for you out there. Stray cats are always in danger, and you're a black cat, sweetheart, you'll always have less luck than others do."

He does understand.  He does understand, he knows his parents only want to be sure the curse doesn't put him in unnecessary danger, they only want him to stay safe, but he- but he-

There's a clawing sensation, deep in his chest sometimes, that ebbs and flows with each new uncertainty. It twists into his heart and makes it beat at twice the tempo when he feels he has to get _outside_ or go mad, it tugs words back out of his mouth when his guilt and his anger tempt him to shout and swear and make a scene and _make_ them listen to him.

(They wouldn't, though. Would they).

"My lovely little kitten, I know it's hard on you," his mother had sighed, leaning back into the couch, her gaze focused on something in the far distance.  "I promise, dear, we _are_ coming closer each time to finding some way to fix this.  Your father thinks he's found something much more likely to help, this time.  You may finally have that chance to be normal very soon.  In fact, your father is working on that spell now; I am afraid that means he won't be available for some time.  But don't worry, sweetheart, I've brought something new today that I'm sure will make that time go by more quickly for you."

"I don't- want that," Adrien had managed, thickly, still sore and rattled from how roughly he'd been returned.  His throat had hurt so _badly_. "I don't- I could just- just wait here."

Mother had only sighed, shaking her head.  "You know I can't understand you, dear, so there's no point in meaningless chatter."

"But it's not," Adrien had said helplessly, looking up at her.  "It's not meaningless, why can't you- why don't you understand that?  Why don't you understand _me_?" 

He hadn't seen his mother reach into her purse.  It had only been when the dried leaves had scattered over him, making him sneeze as his whiskers twitched and helped to pick up an intoxicating scent, that he'd realised what she had, what she _meant_.

Too little, too late.

He does _not_ remember the next ten minutes.  He does not.  He does not remember rolling over to rub through the scattered magic-scented leaves, excitedly brushing his face against them over and over and then leaping up delightedly to pounce on ribbons of light that threaded through his vision, ribbons which seemed a perfectly reasonable thing both to exist and to chase; he does not remember the way he'd chirped and yowled and generally vocalized at an unusual volume with a frantic enthusiasm that he couldn't have sustained for long.

He most certainly does not remember his father arriving in the centre of this, only to see Adrien behaving far too much like someone's pampered pet, like someone who has never known what it is to be human.

Like nothing but a _cat_ , one who'd let his thoughts go faded and distant under the influence of an unfamiliar drug.

(This is not a story he wants to tell Plagg.  Plagg's not _affected_ by catnip, Plagg didn't think Adrien's reaction to its mention any more than uncertainty, and Adrien does not want to tell him otherwise.  He doesn't know what made Alya decide to keep it away from Plagg and Adrien both this time but he's so desperately relieved that they _did_ ).

Adrien _really_ does not recall what happened after that.

There are confused flashes, a jumble of impressions, scent more than sound and sound more than sight but nothing he's ever been able to piece into a whole.  He knows that it's the incident that led into Father's first try at his stronger spells, that he'd spelled Adrien calm as well before the catnip could wear off and the spell and drug together had left Adrien feeling floaty and stupid and slow. Adrien is oddly certain that there had been a lot more candles than usual, but other than that what memories he _has_ are confused and dim. He thinks he remembers that first try had involved- everyone, nearly, his father and Nathalie as always and then his _mother_ had stepped into the circle and he _thinks_ Nooroo had been there as well and-

And that was the last time he'd ever seen his mother.

He doesn't even know what _happened_.

Adrien had lost consciousness entirely, when the spell had gone somehow wrong.  He'd been too drugged for too long and when his body threatened to drag him down into blank oblivion he'd gladly let it swallow him whole. He'd let it take him somewhere far away from the chanting and the candles and the terrible crawling sensation in his fur, the sharp pains that shot up from the empty spaces in his front paws where he so fervently wished he had claws, the feel of some dark liquid clinging to his whiskers that he's always thought he must have hallucinated.

Adrien regrets, later, how relieved he'd been to feel himself fainting.

Adrien's last memory of his mother is one of miscommunication and unhappiness, and he's never stopped wishing that weren't true.

He doesn't know even now what exactly had gone so terribly wrong.  He'd woken up on his pillow back in his room, curled up tightly with his tail flicked over his nose, disoriented all over again and still- still a _cat_ , still trembling with the aftershocks that magic directed through or at him always leaves, still feeling the emotional imbalance from the faded calming spell.

There'd been no one else around, no note, not the barest hint as to what was going on. That was before his father and Nathalie had ever started leaving him in his carrier long enough for the spells to wear off, so even just the fact that he'd woken up still a cat had thrown him badly.

Those days immediately after that failed spell had been some of the worst of his life.

No one did come to tell him what had happened, where his parents were, why his mother wasn't visiting him or why- why Father hadn't come, _didn't_ come, to change him back.

His door might have been unlocked for all he knew.

He'd still have been just as trapped when he can't change back on his own.  Adrien couldn't even reach the doorknob like this, much less actually open the door.

(It's still such an overwhelming relief that all the doors _here_ have cat flaps.  No one's going to shut him up in a room and leave, not even accidentally; even if he can't convince himself quite yet that they won't, because he's still a little afraid that they're going to get sick of how- how needy and high maintenance he is, even if he wouldn't _blame_ them for it if they just wanted some time away from dealing with him.  They have no obligation to drop everything for some stray no one had planned on finding, much less _keeping_ ).

No one had come. For days he'd been left to roam around the room on four unsteady legs, growing increasingly concerned- they'd found and blocked the vent, and he couldn't find another possible exit. He didn't have a way _out_ , he didn't know where anyone was, and if- if something had _happened_ -

If something had happened to his parents, he would have had no one to tell, and no way _to_ tell them.  He models, so there are other people who at least know that he exists  (even if Adrien himself is a little vague on the details of that, not having ever prioritised finding out exactly what the conditions for his modelling arrangement actually _are_ ); but- they would only know about him as a _human_.  As insistent as his parents, and especially his father, are that he tell no one about the curse- although he still has no idea who they think he would _tell_ -

No one is going to come looking for a cat.

Maybe his parents have said something about a pet cat, though, that shouldn't be left alone in the event something does happen.  That's plausible, isn't it? That's acceptable.  No one would question that.

If they'd thought of that.

Ultimately, aside from the constant ache that was needing to get _out of there_ , the most grating thing had been simply that Adrien had been left entirely in the dark again.  No one ever _told_ him anything.

He doesn't think he'd missed a day of lessons for as far back as he could remember, before that, so for no one to come fetch him for so long had been especially frightening because it meant something was terribly _wrong_.

And- his parents could have been hurt or in trouble, and Adrien had spent so much time thinking only of how it affected _him_. He'd felt so slow and weak and detached from the combined effects of the catnip and the calming spell that he still has no idea what could have gone differently for that casting, but he'd panicked early on at the thought that no one else knew where he was _or_ how to help him, that it was possible no one had cancelled the curse because no one _could_.

He'd been up late into each night pacing and panting and occasionally even going as far as sitting in front of the impassable door and _yowling_ but to no avail.  No one had come for days, and he's not proud to remember that his first thought had _not_ been 'are my parents okay,' but rather 'what's going to happen to me now?'

But he really _hadn't_ known, and only a short time nosing around had proved his fears weren't entirely unfounded.

They hadn't left him anything to eat.

It hadn't worried him, at first; he's not allowed to keep food in his room anyway, for fear of attracting rodents.  That's understandable, even if Adrien privately thinks he's not exactly likely to have rodents for very _long_.  He might not be very good at it but he's perfectly capable of catching anything scurrying around his own room.

But then, catching rats would have had him behaving far more like a cat than he'd been willing to in front of anyone else (but even as he thinks that he remembers Plagg and Alya's fierce competition, the way Alya had been grinning and their eyes sparking with challenge the whole time, and that even though Marinette hadn't joined in she very obviously hadn't disapproved.  They hadn't made it about Plagg being a cat, they'd made it _fun_ ).

He's also never actually admitted out loud that rats have always struck him as perfectly edible, not once he was old enough to realise that to most people they _aren't._

(- but Marinette had also said 'we have food at home,' and she'd said it so calmly, and Plagg's offered to teach him to hunt more than once now).

By the third day with no information and no change Adrien had been more than willing to try rat anyway, because although he'd managed to jump up onto the counter to paw the bathroom faucet on so that he had a source of water food had been a different matter entirely.

While he wasn't concerned initially, once it had no longer been hours but _days_ he'd had a very real fear of starving.  He hadn't known if anyone even knew where he _was_ and he couldn't get _out_.  His last escape had been too recent, the mansion's security and shields hadn't been relaxed yet.  He clearly hadn't been about to get a chance to sneak out of a photo shoot, either.

He tried to tell himself that he did have water, and that was more important; he could afford to go hungry for a little while.

(It hadn't- really only been 'a little while,' though).

Nathalie had let herself into his room at the end of the week- at least, Adrien thinks it was a week.  His sense of time had been a little fuzzy, by then.  He'd _tried_ not to fall into the habit of catnapping, he'd tried to stay on a human sleep schedule, but- he's not used to sudden unregulated blocks of time, and most of his usual ways of passing the time aren't _available_ while he's a cat. There are whole sections of his room he can't reach and it's difficult to impossible to operate any of the electronics.

Besides that, if he was _asleep_ than he wasn't busy being hungry or anxious or both.

Adrien still doesn't know if it _was_ a week or if it was longer than that, because Nathalie hadn't said.

His memory's hazy about Nathalie coming to get him, too.  By then he'd made himself sick with worry and hunger both and when she said his mother was gone he thinks he'd honestly kind of shut down from shock.

And that was it, that was the only explanation he'd gotten.  Nathalie had just said that his mother was _gone_ and not elaborated; the only reasons Adrien even knows it _was_ a spell misfire are because his father and Nathalie talk over him when they're casting and because he'd been _there_ when the spell began to go wrong.

He thinks Nathalie apologised for how long they'd waited to change Adrien back.  He thinks.  He's not entirely sure he didn't build that memory on wishful thinking, especially because once she'd explained that his father hadn't come to see him because he'd been grieving every moment he had free Nathalie had _left_ again.

He'd had a hundred questions, but he couldn't ask any of them.  He couldn't talk. They hadn't left him _able_ to talk and it didn't seem like that had even occurred to them.

Finding out about Wildspeech had felt like such a terrible betrayal.  Father's household runs on hired help, surely they could have hired someone to translate, if they were going to leave him as a cat they could at least not have left him so effectively _mute_ as well-

(Even without Wildspeech Marinette and Alya both listen and pay attention to him.  They wouldn't have- wouldn't have left him locked in a room like that, without information or food or-)

He'd thought that they'd let him out, when they remembered. He'd thought-

When Nathalie left again so quickly, without answering any of his questions- not that she understood him but he doesn't think they could have been that hard to _guess_ \- he'd been- honestly terrified that no one was going to come back for him at all that time.

She'd told him so little.  She hadn't let him know when his father would next have free time, she clearly hadn't thought of the fact that they'd left him without anything to eat, and she'd been so- so vague and uncomfortable telling him his mother was gone.

(They always say _gone_ , not dead, and he doesn't know if that's a misguided attempt at sensitivity or if they don't actually _know_ either).

It felt like a physical blow, to find that his father simply didn't have _time_ to come fix Adrien.  Until now it's still the longest time Adrien had ever spent as a cat. No one has ever brought it up again. He's not sure it meant the same thing to them as it did to him.

He thinks it was another few days before his father ventured close enough to the room to cancel out the curse.  Even then, Adrien hadn't seen him; he'd been woken from a deep sleep on the rug (the bed had begun to feel far too large and empty) to the telltale sensation of the magic that swamped him draining away.

The door _was_ locked, when he was finally able to try to open it. He doesn't know why they'd bothered.

He'd been locked up and left alone again and not- told anything substantial, _again_ , and- maybe, he's thought since, maybe that was supposed to be their way of giving him a chance to mourn.

If it was, it was worse than ineffective.

And then Nathalie had started collecting him for lessons every morning like nothing had happened, and had refused to answer any of his questions unless they were directly related to schoolwork, and he still hadn't seen his father.  He _didn't_ see his father until the next time they tried to break the curse.

(And that was- he'd never liked it, when they cast on him, but- that was when it was suddenly- so much worse.  That was the first time he'd tried to bite without being panicked into it, because he just- didn't want them to start at all.

What if this time when he woke up no one _ever_ came?)

Adrien hadn't usually spent terribly long periods of time as a cat, before that.  He was never loose very long, and if they'd activated the curse for a spell they deactivated it again after; but- right now isn't actually the first time he's been a cat this long.  It's the first time he's been a cat and _loose_ this long, but he'd spent time in his room as a cat before now, although after that it was usually only until he had lessons again. Nathalie had point blank refused to teach him unless he was in human form, because she says she feels ridiculous teaching a cat.

(He's _not_ -)

But after that sometimes his- sometimes Father-

His father is a very busy man.  He has a business to run, and it takes constant attention, and he's spent years trying to find a way to break Adrien's curse on top of that, and Mother's- disappearance, or- whatever it was that had happened- had changed him too, and he's- forgetful, probably, maybe- so if he- if sometimes- if he forgot, sometimes, that Adrien was still a cat, that he hadn't- that he hadn't actually changed him back-

Adrien can barely think about that, though.  He's- he just- it's not even the physical change that he minds (well, except for the lack of opposable thumbs, _that_ he does not like); it's that they'd always acted like he somehow changed _mentally_ as well.

He's not a cat, no matter _what_ he looks like. They know that.  They _have_ to know that.

Marinette knows that, and he just met her.  Her whole _family_ has had no trouble with that.

Even when he'd thought of looking for a witch the night Plagg found him, he hadn't thought- he hadn't thought he'd meet one like Marinette.

There's still a conversation going on.  Adrien shakes himself slightly and pulls himself back out of his own head with an effort.

"You know, Adrien's still gonna look like whatever he wants no matter what kind of construct you have," Alya's pointing out, leaning their head on their hand and looking between Marinette and Adrien. "He could be riding around on a Roomba and I could _still_ make him look like whoever he wants. I think you're overthinking this."

Instead of answering Alya, Marinette glances back at Adrien. Softly, she says, "I'm sorry, I just- really wanted you to know that we know you're human. We aren't- we aren't going to forget that, all right?"

Adrien starts to say something, but words fail him again, and he huddles into a crouch instead.

That she would say that right on the heels of what he'd been remembering is eerie, but it does send a devoted rush of gratitude through him. She's _not_ going to forget.

At least, not yet.

Marinette's still sitting very close to him. She reaches out and brushes her knuckles down his back, his fur slipping through her fingers before she smooths it back into place. "Sorry, Adrien, really. I didn't mean to- I didn't think it would take this much longer. Would you rather I just tried for a more basic construct?" '

"I-" He fights to actually get words out this time, meowing twice before he feels like he can answer. "I don't- mind. I'm. You don't- have to do that, but I'm- I'm really- I'm grateful."

He has to choke out the last word, and it comes out in an odd strangled tone, but otherwise he thinks he sounds okay.

"Okay," Marinette says, slowly, once Nino translates. She looks between them, glances at Plagg, and then looks back at Adrien as she says, hesitantly, "Maybe- maybe Nino and Alya would be willing to look for the book while I try simpler constructs first?"

"Good plan," Plagg says immediately.

Nino snorts. "You're only saying that 'cause it doesn't involve any work for _you_."

"Hey." Plagg finishes grooming his whiskers and sits back. "I already said I'd teach the kid, and kid, I should probably make it clearer that I have not seriously taught anyone before, this may not go as well as you're hoping."

"That's all right," Adrien says quickly. "I don't- you don't have to do this at all, I really- appreciate it."

Marinette gets up from the table and stretches, resting one hand very lightly along Adrien's side a moment later. "Do we wanna go back to working on that, then? Guys? I'm sure it's one of the books in the living room, I just don't know which one."

"Sure," Nino says immediately, getting up and collecting everyone's plates. He blinks at Adrien's, which still has half a sandwich, then sighs. "Hey, Adrien, are you gonna finish this?"

"I'm- I think I'm full," he says, quietly. He's not actually sure of that, but he doesn't want to _say_ that.

Nino looks at him like he's not quite sure he believes that either, but then he nods. "Okay, I'm gonna stick this in the fridge then, feel free to grab it later if you do get hungry."

Adrien's tail twitches. He appreciates that, he really does, but at the same time he doesn't think he's likely to do it. He's just- he doesn't feel comfortable coming in here and getting into the fridge on his own. He's not even sure why, but it- it doesn't feel right, somehow.

He shies away from thinking too much about that.

Besides, it's not like- it's not like he was starving or anything. Sure, he didn't always have access to food from his room, and he was usually kept in there, and if he'd been well behaved enough to roam around the rest of the mansion for a while the kitchen did always seem to be locked, but it isn't like he didn't have regular meals brought to him. No one- no one was keeping food from him.

Except that Plagg looked so upset when he said he ate once a day, and this family so clearly eats more often than that. He's- not sure what to do with that information. He knows in all of the television and movies he's seen there are multiple meals a day, but he'd assumed- he guesses he assumed it didn't apply to him. His curse pervades pretty much every other aspect of his life, why not this one? That he shouldn't be as hungry now that he was older and not growing so much had sounded so _logical_ , at least in the measured way his father had explained it.

That he _was_ still hungry was something he'd assumed was a failure on his own part, but his friends seem to think he does need to eat more.

This time, when they spill into the living room, Marinette crouches down next to him rather than sitting on the floor right away. "Hey, do you wanna come sit on the top of the couch? That way you can be eye-level with everyone else. You're jumping onto things a lot better, too, but if you want me to lift you up there I can do that."

He hadn't thought of that. It would be nice to be up at everyone's eye level, to at least feel a little more equal to them in some way.

He could probably jump up on his own without any problem. He made it onto the table earlier, and that's a harder jump than the couch.

He goes to Marinette anyway.

He refuses to think about why.

He catches himself purring when she does pick him up, but he can't stop now any more than he could earlier. It seems like Plagg has some control over when he purrs but as far as Adrien can tell _he_ doesn't.

He has the terrible feeling that Plagg's right, that Adrien is somehow much closer to being an actual cat than Plagg is.  Adrien hasn't told Plagg, hasn't told anyone, that if Plagg hadn't found him and Adrien hadn't found a witch then his next plan had honestly been to find a cat colony that seemed friendly.  He does not get the impression that's anything Plagg would ever think of doing. It isn't something Adrien _wants_ to do, but he'd still have chosen it over returning. His father hasn't been the same since losing Mother, and Adrien really couldn't take it anymore- at least if he'd had to resign himself to living as a stray, other cats weren't going to spell him, or lock him up anywhere.

"Adrien, dude, you still with us?" Nino asks, glancing at him with worry in his eyes.  "You kind of... zoned out a bit, there."

"I'm okay," Adrien says, softly, shaking himself all over as Marinette sets him down again.  "Just- uh, thinking.  I'm fine."

Nino still looks worried, but he shakes his head slowly and lets it drop.

The back of the couch is the closest Adrien's been to his human height in days.

"Better?" Marinette asks, leaning back enough that if he stretches he can put his front paws on her shoulder.  He hesitates a moment, but then he thinks about the way Plagg had climbed onto Nino's shoulders without hesitation the day before and edges forward.

Marinette laughs and shifts around until they're both comfortable.  "Okay. I- oh, damn, I was gonna ask if you wanted to read over my shoulder but you- _just_ told us about that, sorry."

Alya raises a hand, having thrown themselves into the armchair nearby with their own stack of books.  They're sprawled across it sideways and they grunt when Plagg leaps up and settles on their stomach.  "I mean, I can try those illusions next?"

Marinette raises both eyebrows.  "I mean, you're welcome to try, but- maybe not while _I'm_ trying to read it?"

"Oh come on," Alya says, whining a little even as they grin.  "It's just some movement. Probably.  You'll read it just fine! Probably."

"Please quit adding probably," Marinette tells them.

Nino's still standing in the center of the room. He glances around once before picking up a book of his own from the bookcase and taking a seat next to Marinette, on the same side as Adrien.

"Hey." Alya sits up straighter.  "Hey, how come you didn't come sit with me?"

"For one thing, that armchair is not as big as you think it is," Nino says, dryly, before holding up his book.  "For another, this way you can practice casting those illusions on _my_ book instead."

Alya squints. " _Your_ book is falling apart."

Nino runs a thumb along the spine, which now that Adrien looks is held together mostly by large quantities of clear tape.  It's so cracked that he doesn't think he'd be able to make out the title even as a human.  "Yeah, it's old, Alya."

Marinette glances over at it and snorts. "Is that My Side of the Mountain? For- it's not that it's old, it's that you read it like a hundred times!"

"It was my favourite book," Nino says, a little defensively, pulling the book closer to himself and then angling it towards Marinette and Adrien both.  "Also, don't think I don't know _exactly_ where my copy of Vulpes the Red Fox went, _Alya_."

Alya slumps back down and waves one hand dismissively.  "You can't prove shit."

"Maybe not but _I know_." He glances up at Adrien. "I mean, unless you don't want to do this now? We could watch a movie or something, Marinette's not gonna get too distracted if it's one she's seen."

"I- no, this is fine," Adrien says, startled. His tail lashes without his permission, thumping against the back of the couch, and he lowers his head.  He's not all that enthused about trying to read right now.  He's not all that happy to have admitted how much trouble he's having with it.  They're aware enough of the gaps in his education- the gaping chasms in his education, as it turns out- that he- hadn't-

He doesn't want them to think he's stupid, even if he's definitely starting to feel like it.

"Are you sure?" Nino presses, his brow furrowing.  "You don't, uh, sound that enthusiastic, dude.  Seriously, if you'd rather do something else, just, like, _tell_ us." He tilts his head, his frown deepening.  "I don't think you've actually told me _anything_ you wanted to do, dude.  There's gotta be something." He shifts a little again, flipping the book shut.  "Wanna-" He stops.

"What?" Adrien ventures, a little nervously.

Nino exhales and sets the book down entirely, dropping his face into his hands.  His voice is muffled as he says, "Just.  Listen.  If I suggest something, are you- are you just gonna say yes, even if you don't wanna do it?"

"I-" Adrien means to say no, he really does, but the words catch in his throat.  He tries again, but this time he only manages a strangled meow before accidentally kneading at Marinette's shoulder.  He flinches and starts to back away hurriedly, but she reaches one hand up and runs it under his chin and he leans back into it instinctively.  He tries to answer Nino again and _chirps_ instead, which is _mortifying_.

Marinette drops her book as well to turn to him.  Her eyes are full of nothing but affection and concern as she says, "You don't have to do that, Adrien.  You aren't going to upset us or anything.  What do _you_ want to do?"

He wants to stay here forever but that isn't what they're asking.  He wants to be _human_ , he wants to be a part of their group and not just hanging around the edges of it like a stray begging for food, but _that_ isn't going to happen no matter how hard he wishes for it.

The problem is there's too much he _can't_ do.  He doesn't know if he wants to watch a movie, and although he's always wanted someone else to play video games with he no longer has opposable thumbs.  He's not about to win any matches like this.  Adrien has tried before to use controllers with his paws and it has- not gone well.

It might be easier with claws but even then, game controllers are very deliberately designed for human hands.  He isn't going to be able to maneuver his paws that way.

"Adrien?" Nino says, tentatively, leaning back further to try and make eye contact with him.  Adrien looks down rather than back at him.  "Dude, it's all right. Even if you, uh- " His own eyes fall to Adrien's paws, and he looks uncertain for a second, but then his expression tightens again.  "Look, even if you think it's something you might have, uh, trouble with, we can figure something out, okay?" He gestures over at Plagg and Alya.  "I mean, there's a chance we already _have_ , you know?"

"I-" Adrien's tail lashes again.  He doubts he'd have much more control over his human facial expressions, but he still wishes his cat form wasn't quite so expressive.  "I- guess I- I, uh-" He shouldn't be struggling so much just to _say_ this.  They _asked_ , he doesn't know why he can't just _answer them_.

(He's heard a lot of questions in his life that weren't really questions.  "What do you think, son?" has never actually meant anything but _I want you to agree with me_.)

Plagg lifts his head and yawns, showing off all his teeth, before squinting at Adrien.  "C'mon, kid, we can't help you with this one.  Not if you're just gonna agree to anything we suggest."

"I don't- mean to," Adrien says, and it's much more of a whine than he wants it to be.

"I _know_ , kid," Plagg says, stretching a little and kneading at Alya's jeans.  "C'mon, you have hobbies, right? You've gotta have _something_ you wanted to do with other people."

"Video games," Adrien finally manages to blurt out, pressing his paws harder against Marinette's shoulder before hastily pulling them back.  "I- I like- I've never played them with- with-"

"Okay," Nino says, shifting around to reach one hand towards Adrien himself.  Nino doesn't pet him, just holds his hand out until Adrien leans forward to press his head to Nino's hand himself.  "You two were playing with Final Fantasy illusions earlier.  Ever play Final Fantasy Six?"

"...one player game," Adrien manages, eying Nino.  He still doesn't see how he can play like this at all, and he doesn't think anyone else is going to enjoy watching him fumble and fail to so much as get Terra to walk in a straight line.

Nino grins.  "It's actually not.  You can set it to two players, it's in the configuration menu."

Adrien sits back, startled.  "It is?"

"Yeah." Nino starts to get up, careful not to jostle the couch too much. Adrien realises he's not in a very stable position and retreats more to the back of the couch instead of lounging half over Marinette's shoulder.  "Had a whole argument about it at school, actually, no one believed me."

"Okay, but Max also refused to check," Alya cuts in, rolling their eyes.

Nino shrugs as he kneels down to pull out a game system and several cords and games from under the television.  "Yeah but Alix checked and backed me up later, so.  I am warning you now, dude, it's not a very _good_ two player mode but it does exist."

Nino's not kidding.  Adrien has never noticed this in the game menu, but then he's never owned a second controller. While the game is really clearly not _designed_ to be played this way, it's- actually kind of perfect. Nino slithers off the couch onto the floor and waves Adrien down to sit beside him.

The second player only controls some of the characters in battle, not on the world map.  The only times Adrien has to hit a button at all are for up, down, select and confirm.  He doesn't always use the command he means to, because even then it's hard to hit the buttons he wants, but he _can_ play.

Nino gives him control of most of the party and keeps asking for his input, taking too much joy in refusing to take even clear paths until Adrien agrees. At one point Alya's complaints escalate to throwing their shoe at Nino, but the second Adrien starts to flinch Marinette's hand snaps out to grab the shoe out of the air with a dark look at her friend.

It hadn't come anywhere near actually hitting either of them but Alya doesn't throw anything else.

"This game is ridiculous," Plagg announces after- oh, wow, after a few hours.  Adrien hadn't realised they'd been playing that long.  It's true his sense of time isn't really the best but it hadn't _felt_ like that long.

"You shut your teeth, Plagg, this game is a masterpiece," Nino says, eyes glued to the screen as Adrien battles his way past another group of enemies.

Adrien glances at Plagg when Nino says that, but Plagg only looks amused.

Alya yawns, flipping through another book.  There's a stack beside them now, which Adrien feels vaguely guilty about, but not enough to want to stop playing. "I liked Nine better."

"It's a good game, but come on, this one definitely had the best story," Nino says.

Marinette shrugs as she flips through her own book. "So long as no one is arguing for Eight."

A disgruntled chorus of groans answer her.

"You know, just because none of you were any good at the battle system doesn't make it a bad game," Plagg says.  He's still on top of Alya, sprawled so that he can watch the screen as well.

"No but the story did," Marinette mutters.

Plagg's expression grows dangerous. "What was that?"

"Nothing," Marinette says sweetly in response to his glare, and Adrien chokes back a laugh at the way she says it.  "Nothing, Plagg, definitely not anything about that being a _really contrived and annoying plot_ -"

"Just because _you_ don't like Rinoa-"

Adrien tries to choke back another laugh and fails. Within moments he's laughing harder than he has in years, sliding off the controller to bury his head in his paws and giggle uncontrollably. He's not even sure why that's so funny to him, except for the way they _said_ it.  Marinette can't possibly know what Plagg's complaint even _is_ unless they've had this argument _before_.

"Adrien?" Nino says, sounding amused.  "I'm, uh, I'm really glad to hear you laugh dude but we are kinda dying here-"

"Killed by an octopus, your headstones are gonna be hilarious," Marinette says, deadpan.  "He's not even a real octopus.  Killed by a mocktopus."

That makes Adrien laugh even harder, to the point where he's actually starting to feel lightheaded.

Very tentatively, Nino reaches over to rest his hand against Adrien's back and Adrien flops over onto his side, purring and kneading at Nino's pants. His claws catch on the fabric, but only for a moment; he's getting more used to having them.

"Oh, no," Marinette says, still deadpan. "He likes puns. Well, that's it, I'm just going to jump out the window and save myself now."

"There's a fire escape _right outside_ that window," Alya tells her. "Also, it was _your pun_."

"You misunderstand, I'm taking Adrien with, I'm abandoning the rest of you." Marinette sets her book down with a thump and rolls off the couch to crouch next to Adrien.  "What do you say, Adrien, wanna go run around at night yelling puns at people?"

Nino drops backwards, dropping his own controller, and drags both hands down his face with a sigh.  "I mean if you do that in, like, costumes I think it just makes you superheroes, dude. Not, like, _good_ ones-"

Alya sits up so fast Plagg falls off his perch, a light in their eyes.  "Costumes can be a thing.  Costumes can _totally_ be a-"

"No!" Nino exclaims.  "No, we are not- no.  Never again."

" _Again_?" Adrien chokes out, still snickering.

Nino throws an arm over his eyes.  "Yeah, _again_.  Dark times, man, dark times.  Do you know what hell it is when you're friends with an _Illusionist_ and they discover superheroes? Do you know what it's like _dating_ them?"

"I still think you liked being Robin and won't admit it," Alya says, leaning over him.

"Why couldn't Marinette have been Robin?" Nino grumbles.  " _She_ likes puns."

"Because Spiderman exists," Marinette suggests, rocking back on her heels before sitting more normally on the floor.  Adrien pushes himself upright again and leans into her side, purring still, and she obligingly strokes along his spine.  "Right, Chat Noir? Who would you want, anyway?"

"Catwoman," he says, decisively, and earns another groan from Nino.

"She's not even a superhero," Nino complains.  "Also, no, DC is too crowded, go join Marinette with the Marvel heroes."

"Don't listen to him," Alya says, gleeful.  "He's just mad because _I_ kept refusing to be Catwoman."

"Why Batman, Alya! Why! Is it just so that you had an excuse to make me be Robin?" Nino sits up, hunched over, and hooks his controller cord with his foot so that he can drag it back towards himself.  "Also did it have to be Grayson, wouldn't Marinette have made more sense-"

"Nope, Marvel and staying there," Marinette says, taking the controller as Nino hands it to her.  "Also I think you're losing this fight on purpose."

" _Adrien_ was battling," Nino protests. "Why is it my fault!"

Marinette doesn't answer him, instead nudging Adrien gently as she unpauses the game. "I know he's well- _armed_ Nino but he's not _inkredibly_ hard to beat-"

"Uh, are you all right there, dude?" Nino asks, giving Adrien a worried look when he starts laughing again.

"Yeah, she's just _kraken_ me up," Adrien snickers.

"Oh, no," Nino says, sounding despairing, but when Adrien flicks an alarmed glance up at him his friend is still smiling.  "Ohh no. Alya there's two of them now."

"Blame Plagg, he's the one that thought squidnapping was a good idea," Alya says immediately.

Nino throws his hands up. "Yeah, okay, I hate _all of you. Why_."

For just a moment, Adrien's mood almost drops again.  Plagg- did kind of kidnap him, actually, even if Adrien is the one who ran away in the first place, and Plagg could get in serious trouble for that, and-

"Hey, I was not involved," Plagg says, distracting Adrien.  "They started punning with no interference on my part."

"All right, you can stay when they abandon us to go punning into the night," Nino says, disgruntled, and then lets out a groan of frustration when his own words catch up with him.

Plagg starts laughing.  "My house now, everybody out."

(Adrien does look up sharply again at that, but Plagg _is_ laughing, so he returns his attention to the game immediately.

He knows they're joking, he just- he just needs to be _sure_ ).

For only controlling one character, it's very quickly obvious that Marinette is a better strategist than the rest of them.  She never tells Adrien what he should do next but if he pays attention to the tiny noises or slight movements she makes when he's about to select something he can figure out what _she_ would do and it leads to a much faster fight.

"Huh, you two are really good at that," Alya says, blinking.  "Hey, have we got- have we got something else they can play, actually?"

"Uh." Nino glances down at Adrien pouncing on the controller (okay he might have let himself get carried away) and winces.  "One, not easily, I don't think.  Two- _I'm_ not stopping them, are _you_ gonna stop them? Really?"

Adrien sits back on his haunches just in time to see the way Alya's expression softens as they look at him and Marinette. "Nah, not really."

(He's not sure anyone has _ever_ looked at him the way they do.  Like they see Adrien, all the time, even when he's Chat Noir, even though they've never really _met_ Adrien).

"I'm gonna go order pizza," Plagg announces some time later, and it's a measure of how involved they've all gotten in the game- Alya is backseat gaming by now, and Nino is trying to stop them and failing- that no one thinks to question that for a moment.

Then Nino jumps up so suddenly that Adrien startles sideways, shouting after Plagg as he runs into the kitchen. "Plagg, no, don't you dare, please stop traumatizing the pizza place they aren't gonna keep _delivering_ here, they already won't stop asking how the cat knows their phone number-"

Nino's sudden movement and his shout have left Adrien pressed up against Marinette's side, because he's still so easily alarmed by loud noises and sharp movements that he's beginning to think he always will be. Marinette shifts her controller to one hand to pet along his side.  "Hey, would it be easier if you were, uh- on m-my lap? That way we're both looking directly at the screen."

Adrien's wanted to climb into her lap for the past hour, but that's not something he can just _do_.  Marinette making the suggestion herself is different, though.

Adrien puts his front paws on her knee and goes tumbling into her lap bare moments later. He's not entirely sure what just happened until he hears Alya fail to muffle a snicker.

"Oh holy shit, I've never seen anyone trip over four legs at once," they say, gleeful.  "Well- sort of, I've seen Marinette's illusion trip.  A lot.  A _lot_ , actually, I guess now I have a better idea of what that looks like-"

"Alya," Marinette hisses, her face red even as she reaches out and helps Adrien right himself.  "We get it, you can stop."

Adrien curls up enough to feel secure and tries not to feel too embarrassed.  He'd only tripped, and Alya just said Marinette trips a lot too, and they _know_ he's not used to four legs.  Alya doesn't mean it like that.

He's stunned to realise he believes that.

Sure, they laughed, but he's starting to get used to their teasing.  He's starting to _enjoy_ their teasing, because it's the most- _normally_ anyone's ever treated him.

By the time Nino and Plagg return, Alya's offering to switch places with Marinette so that she can go back to scanning through her books. Adrien tries to convince Marinette to keep playing with him instead and he's honestly surprised when she accedes immediately.

"I think I needed the break, anyway," Marinette tells him, leaning forward slightly to pick up her controller again- and then back immediately when Adrien lets out a squeak. "Oh, s-sorry!"

"It's okay," he says, a little shakily. He likes being around them, and even if he doesn't like how _much_ he wants them to pet him he's resigned to the fact that he _does_ want them to pet him, but Marinette leaning over him while he's in her lap is still a little too confining.

"Besides, Adrien," Marinette says, softly. "I'm looking for that spell for _you_. It would be pretty silly to ignore you to do that, don't you think?"

Adrien's chest feels tight. He doesn't have the words to reply to that, and Nino and Plagg are busy arguing over who's paying for the pizza anyway, so he brushes his head against the side of her arm repeatedly as he finds himself purring.

For never having known that he could purr he's found himself doing it a lot in the past couple of days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (not important but- im _still_ annoyed at that dude in high school who refused to check that ff6 ABSOLUTELY has a 2 player option, because he 'knew i was wrong' dude just _go home and check-_ ).


	10. the idol of the idle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by shinobicyrus, who is awesome!

What Plagg and Nino were arguing about only becomes clear when Plagg greets the knock at the door with cash in his mouth and a smug look on his face. The delivery guy looks around, sighs, and looks down reluctantly in a way that suggests Plagg has done this before.

"You know what, this is still not even the weirdest thing I've seen _tonight_ ," the man tells Plagg, sadly, and accepts the payment as Plagg snickers and Nino skids up to the door with an apologetic look on his face.

The man shakes his head, holding up both hands as Nino takes the pizza from him. "No, hey, at least he tips well, I'm okay with this."

Plagg saunters back into the living room and meows loudly as Nino shuts the door behind the delivery man. "Pizza's here."

"Yes, Plagg, we've noticed," Alya says dryly. "It was hard not to."

Plagg leaps onto the couch and nods at Marinette. Adrien can see him still, but only if he twists around, and when he does that he finds he's too cramped to be comfortable in that position so he returns his attention to the screen. It's his turn, anyway.

"Yeah, I don't actually think those two have registered that there's food." Moments later Plagg is brushing up against Marinette's side, reaching over to push gently at Adrien with one paw. "Kid. Kiiiid. Food, c'mon."

"One more battle," Marinette says, distracted, apparently more than familiar with what those particular words sound like from Plagg.

"Yeah, no," Plagg says, hastily. "It's never one more battle. It's never one more battle _and_ you lie about save points."

"She does," Nino agrees, resigned, before explaining to Adrien, "She used to insist she couldn't stop playing and go to bed til she could save, but then she lied about what the save points looked like so she could keep playing."

"You say that like you weren't sneaking into each other's rooms at night specifically to keep playing video games," Alya points out.

Marinette shrugs, still glued to the screen. "You can't prove that."

"You know, I bet I could if I tried," Alya retorts, before rolling off the armchair and onto the floor, snagging Marinette's controller and unplugging it as they do. At the same time Plagg darts in and grabs the cord for Adrien's controller with his mouth, gently tugging it loose as well.

"Hey!" Marinette protests, and Adrien lets out a quiet whine as well before catching himself.

"Food," Plagg repeats firmly. "You can keep playing after."

"You know, Tikki spells the whole game off, you should be happy Plagg only goes for the controllers," Nino says, amused.

"Okay, I get it," Marinette relents, sighing. "But we're doing really well, I want-" She glances down at Adrien, who's trying to figure out if he should move from her lap now. He probably should if they're going to eat, but he doesn't want to. He _really_ doesn't want to.

It's just- he _likes_ Marinette, and she's been so concerned and thoughtful, and he feels- he feels safe, in her arms. He thinks he'd want her to hold him even if he _could_ be in his human form.

Plagg had called him touch-starved. Adrien had never heard the term before Plagg said it, but it feels right. People _haven't_ touched him much, before. His parents were never very physically affectionate, Nathalie even less so, and most of his experiences with physical contact the past few years has been- has been being grabbed unexpectedly, or bodily shoved into a small space, or-

The Gorilla had tried, he thinks. The man had frequently grabbed him just as roughly as everyone else, but then he'd always seemed to try to carry Adrien with a fair amount of caution, and he'd always been much more careful putting Adrien in his carrier than Nathalie ever was. The Gorilla was the only one of them who didn't seem to want to use the carrier; sometimes he'd simply carried Adrien back instead, and even if he'd always held on too tightly for Adrien to wiggle loose again he'd never _hurt_ him. The size difference always made Adrien more than a little nervous but nothing had ever come of it.

But even that had only ever been brief snatches of time, and if Nathalie was with the Gorilla it wouldn't happen at all, and Nathalie had almost always come with. Adrien's still not sure why Nathalie is so cold towards him, because she didn't used to be. Before Mother had- vanished- well, Nathalie had never been the nurturing type, but she'd at least not talked over Adrien whenever he tried to ask her questions or been quite so aggrieved when she had to go fetch him from wherever he'd managed to run to.

He's tried very hard to bury the suspicion that she blames _him_ for what happened to his mother.

Adrien can't _remember_ what happened. He doesn't know if she might be right.

He hasn't been handled very much as a cat outside of those forced interactions, but he doesn't think anyone's touched him at all as a human for a long time and now it's possible no one ever will again. It's more than possible; it's _likely_.

It's really, _really_ likely. Plagg has been very blunt and honest about anyone's chances against his curse, and Adrien is still twitchy at just the _thought_ of anyone trying to break it again anyway. Which is ridiculous, it isn't as though he doesn't want it broken, but he- he hates the feeling of other people's magic on him.

Though- none of his friend's magic has felt anything like any previous attempts to cure him.

( _Fix_ him. They said _fix_ him, more than ever they said cure him, and that's something that's always clawed unhappily at the back of Adrien's mind, too).

"Adrien? There's food," Marinette says, drawing him back out of his thoughts, again. He's always been prone to daydreaming, but he's suddenly not sure if it's rude to zone out so much around his friends.

 _His friends_ , he really _does_ think he can call them that. People that you talk to like this and can play video games with for hours and that tease you and each other are friends, right? He- he thinks this counts. He- thinks it's more than pity, now.

They divide up the pizzas as easily as if they've done it a hundred times, shifting meat onto a plate for Adrien and tearing cheese off for Plagg while Alya and Nino bicker good-naturedly over who gets each slice of pepperoni. Nino wins, but then he tips all the pepperoni onto Adrien's plate instead with a triumphant grin at Alya.

They groan and slump against the armchair. "See, you don't even _like_ pepperoni. You just like the arguing."

Nino raises an eyebrow, pointedly. " _You_ don't like pepperoni."

Adrien glances up, confused. His plate is already balanced precariously on Marinette's knee, and he barely has it pinned in place with one paw; if he moves too much it's likely to fall entirely and he doesn't want to make a mess of their carpet. "So- so who _does_ like pepperoni?"

"Marinette does," Nino says, gesturing expressively, "But she's already stolen all the garlic bread while we were arguing, so I wasn't gonna give it to _her_."

Marinette, who does indeed have all the garlic bread, shrugs and takes an unnecessarily large bite of it. Once she's swallowed she says, "Entirely your fault for not paying attention."

Adrien doesn't refuse anything they give him this time or leave anything on his plate. He _is_ hungry again, and they so clearly don't- _mind_ that, and the food is delicious. Before he'd ended up here he hadn't had pizza in a long time- not healthy enough for a model, too much food for someone his age- and he'd forgotten how much he likes it.

They're all yawning when they finish eating, and after confirming with Adrien that he's just as tired as the rest of them Marinette reluctantly saves the game and turns it off.

"So," Marinette says, through another yawn. "Is- is anyone else in that 'too tired to sleep' zone right now?"

Nino raises his hand and his eyebrows.

Alya pushes his hand back down. "I am still halfway convinced you two made that up."

"Listen, we can't all run on five hours of sleep and half a gallon of black coffee," Nino tells them. "One of these days I am gonna switch it all to decaf and laugh at you."

Plagg rolls onto his side and flicks his tail. "Hate to tell you this but your dad has tried that before. If you don't actually tell Alya they still react like it's caffeinated anyway, and if you _do_ tell them they go _find_ caffeine."

"Did he just tell you Papa tried that?" Marinette asks dryly, when Plagg goes back to cleaning his whiskers. "Because Papa tried that."

"Twice," Alya says brightly. "No chance. Anyway, do we want to, like, watch something then? Something that doesn't take up that much attention, that'd be good. Adrien, that sound good to you?"

Adrien glances up from where he's carefully nudging his plate onto the floor, trying very hard not to dump crumbs from it. Marinette doesn't take it from him. Plagg waits for Adrien to set it down before he stretches and leans over to grab the empty plate in his teeth, turning to stack it on top off Nino and Alya's plates.

Adrien's surprised at how much that warms him, that no one assumed he _needed_ any help.

"Sure," he says, finally. "I don't mind watching something."

Nino's leaning back against the couch, his eyes shut already, and he gives Alya a tired thumbs up at that.

"Okay," Alya says, grabbing up a remote and switching the television over to Netflix. They log in under _alloutof_fox_ , which makes Adrien snort and Marinette sigh. "Pick a category."

"Uh," Adrien says, confused, craning his neck around to look at them.

Alya shakes their head and gestures at the screen. "Hey, come on, there's lots. Pick any, seriously."

Adrien's still hesitant, but he notices the Recommended for You section with relief. If he sticks to that then he's not likely to pick something they won't like, right?

The recommended section is mostly cartoons and anime, with some older martial arts movies thrown in. Adrien relaxes a little more at that. He shouldn't have a problem with that.

"I've never actually seen Pokemon," he finally admits, shyly, tilting his head and trying to point at it with one paw. It's difficult to point with any accuracy, but Nino repeats that for him immediately.

"Oh, I haven't watched the first series in ages!" Marinette exclaims, brushing a hand along his side gently until he starts purring again. "Nino-"

"Already selected," he says, sighing.

Adrien can tell immediately why he's never seen this.

Even now, the idea of just- just being allowed to take a backpack and a new friend and _go_ , go _anywhere_ , is-

Adrien feels a pang when he watches the way Ash doesn't even wait long enough to get dressed, that first episode, before bolting.

(It's not helping that it's Pikachu that Adrien finds himself sympathizing with immediately.

Pikachu who resists staying initially, who doesn't like to stay in a Pokeball, who Ash stops trying to convince to stay in one place at all-

Yeah. This isn't a show Adrien would have been allowed to watch).

The show has enough clearly fantastical elements that it isn't setting off Adrien's anxiety, or at least not too badly, but he doesn't think he's imagining the way Marinette holds him tighter for just a moment as Pikachu adamantly refuses to be confined, or the soft pained noise she makes when Ash so quickly gives up _trying_ to confine him.

They watch the first few episodes in order to give Adrien a clear idea of what's happening, but then they start to skip around as everyone takes turns clamouring to watch their favourite episodes, or at least the episodes with their favourite Pokemon.

"We watched this tons when we were really little so it's super nostalgic for us now," Marinette confides in Adrien as Nino and Alya argue over whether they want to see Squirtle or Vulpix next. Adrien feels better hearing that, even though he can see them enjoying it, even though he thinks they might actually have told him if they didn't want to watch it. They've been nothing but honest and open about everything else.

They don't just ask permission, they explain themselves. Like it's never occurred to them not to, that they don't know that they aren't obliged to explain themselves to him.

(He doesn't know how many times he's _heard_ that).

The Vulpix episode wins, by virtue of Alya being absolutely willing and able to wheedle Nino into watching whatever they want. They start to skip around more. Marinette adamantly insists she doesn't want to watch the Charmander episode, for some reason, and then Alya wants to see another Vulpix episode (there isn't one), and then to Adrien's faint surprise Plagg puts in his own request for an episode. The older cat actually paws Nino back awake to ask with no sign of remorse for it.

"Meowth episode?" Nino asks, through what sounds like a jaw-cracking yawn.

"No," Plagg says, and Nino blinks both eyes open, looking faintly surprised. "That Lieutenant Surge episode. And then that one with James' parents, you know the one."

"The one where- oh." Nino stops, then says awkwardly, "Uh, sorry, spoilers. Sure. Alya, Plagg wants to see the Surge one, and then that uh- the one where they find James' old home."

"Ah," Alya says, very quietly.

Adrien's not sure, at first, why Plagg requested that first episode.

And then there's a scene in it where Ash has an opportunity to make his Pikachu stronger, and Ash asks him first, and _listens_ when he says no.

Adrien doesn't realise he's curling in on himself more tightly until Marinette rests a comforting hand against his side.

No one comments, not on Adrien's reactions to that episode or to the other one Plagg requested, one where they find out that James ran away from home. That he ran away from a manor, from money.

Adrien shivers, badly. His- his friends don't actually know who he is, they can't, this has to be related solely to the fact that Plagg knows he ran away. It has to be.

It does help. It _does_ help that this is a children's show, meant to have lessons in it, and it includes enemies agreeing easily to work together to get their runaway _out of there._

They don't watch anything else after that, by now tired enough to finally make their way to bed. Plagg bats at the remote to turn off the television and yawns widely, showing off all his teeth. "If anyone asks we watched something educational."

"I mean, kinda?" Nino says, stretching. "I guess if you believe that old rumour about Pikachu being based on the animator's spirit familiar?"

Adrien blinks. "What?"

"Spirit familiar," Plagg repeats, getting up and resting one paw against Marinette's knee, next to Adrien. "It's gotten a lot rarer, but sometimes people do still make pacts with spirits instead of other spellcasters. There's a lot of myths about it but most of them aren't true."

Adrien tilts his head, considering. Nooroo doesn't really look like any animal he knows of, as far as he's ever been able to tell. "I think that might be what Nooroo is."

Plagg's eyes narrow, but he only responds with a thoughtful hum.

Adrien files that away as something to think more about later.

"Sorry that I didn't make much progress on a construct for you today," Marinette tells Adrien softly, stroking between his ears and earning another loud purr. "I'll try harder tomorrow, I promise. You deserve to get out and do things with us, Adrien, and we want you to be comfortable when you do."

That makes something warm and bright swell in his chest, in almost the same place that the gnawing void that urged him to _run_ lived when he was still in the mansion, and Adrien purrs louder and ducks down to nuzzle into her hand.

And then he pulls back, immediately embarrassed, but Marinette does nothing but stroke between his ears one last time and then say, "I need to get up, okay, Adrien? I'm gonna go up to bed, are you coming with?"

Adrien hesitates, then looks helplessly at Nino as he tries, "It's- it's _her_ bed, I don't want to keep intruding."

"Dude, she's offering," Nino says, gently, before gesturing at the Vulpix dozing on the couch. "Or you can always come join me and Alya, too, if that would be easier for you. Or even if you, I dunno, just want a change for a night." He blinks, then frowns. "Or you- you could use our parent's room, actually, if you want a room of your own. They're gonna be gone a while yet, and they aren't going to mind."

Adrien thinks of his own room, how no matter how many bright colours he'd tried to shove into it or how many shiny tech toys his parents gave him it had still felt cold and empty, and shivers. He's only slept next to someone else a few times now but it feels- so much better than staying alone ever has.

"I want to go with Marinette," he says, so softly he's not sure Nino heard him at first.

"I'd feel better if you came with me," Marinette admits at nearly the same time, and although she sounds a little embarrassed she also sounds very certain. "I just- I don't know why, but I feel a lot better if I know you're not sleeping alone somewhere."

That echoes Adrien's own thoughts eerily again but it lifts his spirits to hear as well.

"There's also always the chaise lounge, if you want to be in the same room but have some space to yourself," Nino points out.

Adrien hesitates, and as he does Marinette's hand brushes along his spine until he relaxes into her. There's a purr rumbling through him again as Marinette says, guiltily, "I'd- it's kind of reassuring when you're up by me, honestly, Adrien. You don't have to," she adds quickly, stumbling over the words a bit. "If you- if you don't _want_ to, then don't, that's fine, but don't- don't ever think _I_ wouldn't want you there."

Adrien's torn. He can't honestly think that she'd make this offer if he was human, and that makes him feel- smaller, somehow, especially since she's one of the first people in his life he can count on to remember that he _is_ human, but-

He thinks she's only trying to keep _him_ from feeling guilty.

"I want to go with Marinette," he repeats, just as quietly, and feels his ears lower.

"Nothing wrong with that, kid," Plagg says, batting the empty paper plates into a neater pile near Alya. "In fact I was gonna sleep in there tonight too, so hey, chaise lounge isn't gonna be free anyway."

"Plagg," Nino says, exasperated. "That chaise lounge is big enough for both of you and you know it."

"Yeah but I want to sprawl," Plagg says, too cheerfully.

Alya stays out of that conversation entirely, and Adrien's not sure why. He doesn't have it in him to regret any of it, though, when he and Marinette untangle themselves so that he can follow her upstairs, and when they reach her room she asks again if he wants her help up.

Adrien shakes his head, surprising himself. "No, I- let me try?"

Going up the ladder is easier than going down, but it still takes him some effort.

"Careful, kid," Plagg calls from where he's jumped up to lounge on the windowsill, watching them. "You gotta pay attention to _all_ your paws."

"I'm _trying_ to," Adrien mutters, navigating the last few rungs of the ladder.

Marinette does climb up behind him so that if he falls she could catch him, but it turns out to be unnecessary. Adrien lets out a triumphant meow when he reaches the bed and bounds over to the corner by the headboard, then stiffens a little as he realises what he's done.

He really doesn't think Plagg meows quite as often as he does.

"Hey, you're getting better at this," Marinette says as she sprawls on the bed, careful as she shifts to give him space. A moment later she squirms around again, sits up partway, and fishes out a smaller pillow from beneath her cat shaped one. Setting it beside him, she says, "Uh, if you wanted your own. Thought you- thought you might, although I don't mind if you- if you don't."

Adrien's heart sinks a little at the way she's fumbling over her words. He's probably made her uncomfortable by curling up so close to her the past couple nights.  She barely knows him, of course that's weird.

He drops his gaze and paws the pillow into place, curling up on top of it with a deep sigh.

He blinks his eyes open a moment later when he feels her drape the blanket over him.

Over them _both_ , he realises, as he finds Marinette turned on her side and watching him.

"Hey," she says, softly, reaching out slowly and holding her hand steady until he leans forward enough to rub his face along it. "I'm sorry, Adrien. I should have focused better today, I should have tried harder to- to make sure you had- to make you feel more comfortable."

Adrien blinks at her, slowly. His eyelids feel heavy. "I've _never_ felt this comfortable before."

"I wish we had a better way to help you," Marinette frets, moving her hand from his cheek to his back as she pets him in long, slow strokes that have him going limp and purring. After a moment, though, a strange look of dismay crosses her face and she pulls away.

He catches himself before he can chase after her hand too obviously. He curls up tighter instead, flicking his tail over his eyes so he doesn't keep _staring_ at her.

"I'm sorry," Marinette breathes again, rolling over onto her stomach. Adrien is close enough to her side that he would barely have to lean over to nudge her. "I don't always- concentrate well, and I- I can tell you don't like to be around magic, Adrien, I don't want to have to cast anything more on you than we absolutely _have_ to."

"Oh," Adrien says, and he's absurdly glad that she can't hear the way his voice cracks a little at that.

He's forgotten Plagg's in the room, too, until the older cat snorts from somewhere below them and says gruffly, "No one's casting anything on you without you _agreeing_ to it first, okay, kid?" His tone turns a little pensive as he adds, "And without you knowing exactly what it _does_ , for that matter."

Adrien cringes a little, at that. That's always been one of the things that really bothers him, that Father doesn't explain what he's doing. Adrien only knows what the calming spell does because the effects are so noticeable. He- he doesn't honestly have any idea what any of his father's attempts at cursebreaking have actually entailed. He knows now that at least one casting must have actually been to fit him with leash spells, and although he hasn't asked and isn't planning to he suspects the tag and collar spells would have to have been cast separately as well.

"Kid?" Plagg's voice is softer, less gruff than usual. "You all right up there? I know everyone got kinda sidetracked today, didn't mean to disappoint you."

"I'm not disappointed," Adrien blurts, so startled that Plagg would think he could ever have been disappointed by them that his tail bushes out. "I'm- I'm really not, I had- today's been-" His voice catches for a moment. "Today's been- really wonderful."

Plagg doesn't say anything for a long time, and Adrien curls in on himself a little tighter when he thinks about that a little more. He's spent most of the day glued to everyone else's side, because he likes that they'll let him, because he doesn't want to be left alone again; and the one part of the day he wasn't doing that he was having another panic attack instead over- over _what_? Having a breakdown over cat trees and toys, something Plagg so clearly treats as perfectly normal, had been bad enough.

Panicking so badly they'd had to send him outside to calm down because they'd given him an honestly thoughtful gift was so much worse, and he still feels so stupid for it, no matter what Nino's told him.

He kind of just feels stupid in general, right now. He's not a very good cat, barely coordinated enough to get around on his own, but he can't honestly call himself a human either. They're still being so nice about it but- he can't- _do_ anything, like a normal human could. He hurts when he thinks about the way they'd talked about their school and their friends, even though he'd _wanted_ to know. It's stupid. It's not like he ever could have gone. Even if there was a school that would have allowed it, he's just admitted to them how much harder it is for him to read as a cat.

He really hopes they do believe him that it's the being a cat that makes it harder. That they don't- that they don't think-

Some quietly desperate part of him, the same part that always wished he'd had older siblings, is already thinking wistfully of ways he could have gone with them to school anyway. Nino was in class with them, he's had Wildspeech since he was young. He would have taken him with, Adrien thinks. Nino seems like he'd have been willing to do that, and even if he hadn't been Alya seems certain to have gone for it, and so does Marinette.

Adrien would have settled for sneaking along in someone's backpack. He'd rather have been an active participant but even if couldn't he'd have settled for hiding away during class. He would have been willing to keep hidden and just _listen_ , so long as he could _go_.

"Kid," Plagg sighs from down below. "I can hear you overthinking things from here. Go to sleep, okay? I'll give you an actual lesson in the morning. Or the afternoon, whatever, sometime tomorrow. On Mandarin too, if you want, and we'll figure something out with the construct and illusions."

"Okay," Adrien says, so quietly he doesn't know if Plagg actually hears him.

It takes Adrien a long time to fall asleep, and then when he finally does he startles back awake so quickly that he feels like he hasn't slept at all.

He blinks into the dim room, shivering slightly and pawing at his whiskers as though that will help, will fight off the phantom cloying sensation still clinging to them. It took him a long time to be able to differentiate between his father's magic and Nathalie's, but as much as he doesn't like either the false-sweet feeling behind Nathalie's almost always feels more tangible. It always feels like it lingers far after the rest of a spell has faded and it's the one that follows him into his nightmares more frequently.

Adrien ends up cleaning his whiskers to try and shake off the remnants of his bad dreams but that almost makes it worse. There's no human equivalent to that gesture and he can't pretend that there is. It's enough for him to try and fall back asleep, though.

This time, when he jerks back awake he must make some kind of noise, because he hears Plagg stir somewhere below and finds himself freezing.

It's just Plagg, he tells himself, frustrated. It's just _Plagg_ , it's fine, Plagg isn't going to be upset with him. Adrien doesn't want to be alone anyway, the fact that Marinette is still right here is all that's keeping him from falling right back into that same nightmare, but-

He's supposed to be quiet, around other people. He's supposed to be quiet, and he hasn't been, and even if it was originally because they couldn't understand him anyway that hasn't been true for a while now. More than that, if Plagg's awake that's probably Adrien's _fault_ , and he knows not to disturb people when they're busy or asleep.

(Which is always, when he thinks about it. They were always busy, at least).

"Kid?" Plagg rumbles quietly, and Adrien twitches and doesn't answer him.

He doesn't think he can fall back asleep, though. Marinette's barely moved, and the blanket's still drawn up by them both, so Adrien snags the corner of it closest to him and drags it all the way over himself, shivering.

But it's warm and dark and close under the blanket and it smells like Marinette, and it's just as effective as Alya's flannel had been earlier. (Alya's flannel is still up here, too, actually, and that helps as well). Adrien stops shivering.

He still can't sleep but he's a lot calmer.

He's not sure how much later it is when he feels a weight join them on the bed.

"Kid?" Plagg says again, very quietly, and then makes his way over the bed when Adrien doesn't respond. Plagg doesn't move the blanket, but he pauses when he finds where Adrien's curled up under it.

Plagg settles down on top of the covers himself, close to Adrien but careful not to pin down the blanket. "You're still awake. Aren't you."

Adrien tries very hard to hold still.

" _Kid_ ," Plagg half-hisses, letting out all his breath in one long sigh. Adrien can feel his tail flick against the blanket. "It's fine. I'm awake too, aren't I? Alya probably is, too, honestly, they think none of us know they have trouble sleeping."

Adrien still doesn't answer and Plagg sighs again.

"You know," Plagg says, some time later. "There's this old wives' tale that you can starve a curse."

Adrien's tail twitches, but Plagg doesn't react to it.

"I mean, it's not true," Plagg continues, stretching once and then resettling himself so that Adrien's back is pressed up against him, even through the covers. Adrien relaxes a little without really meaning to. "It's been real thoroughly debunked and, frankly, even if it hadn't I could tell you from experience it was never true. I've _been_ starved before. The curse doesn't go anywhere. You're just starving _and_ cursed. But if someone was desperate, and had, y'know, failed every possible ethics course, I can see them trying it. Apparently, without actually bothering to tell you."

Adrien makes a tiny, involuntary sound, and Plagg rests his head over him and starts purring. "If this spell ends up taking them longer than we thought, will you agree to go to the police _anyway_ , kid?"

The thought is still terrifying.

But Plagg keeps asking.

Adrien blinks.

Plagg... Plagg keeps _asking_.

The older cat pretty clearly knows he's not asleep, but Adrien's still quiet as he says, "It's not like- it's not like any of you couldn't just bring me to the police yourselves. Couldn't you." After all, Plagg is twice his size and brought him _here_ without any effort, and Adrien has had a lifetime's worth of experience to tell him how easily any human can pick him up and take him somewhere.

Whether or not he wants to go.

"Yeah, we wouldn't do that," Plagg says, flatly. "Probably we should, if I'm bein' honest, but we aren't gonna."

"Why," Adrien manages, burying his head in his paws and breathing deeply. He has the uncanny feeling that Plagg's going to _know_ if he starts to bite at his paws again, though.

"Couple reasons," Plagg says, more evasively than Adrien would have expected. "But one of the important ones is kid, you're too _scared_ to go right now, and that's something we can at least help with. Except that-" Plagg's voice turns a little more pensive. "'Cept I think you might be more scared _now_ than you were when you _got_ here."

He hadn't wanted to stay, then. He hadn't had anything to _lose_ then, not when his name was literally all he had and they hadn't wanted even that from him.

"If it's something we're doing-" Plagg starts, and Adrien flinches.

"It's- it's not," he says, unsteadily. "It's me. It's, uh, it's a problem with me."

"Betting that it's not, kid," Plagg mutters, tail lashing. "Wanna tell me what it _is_ about, then?"

It takes Plagg a few minutes to realise Adrien isn't going to answer him.

"Listen, just tell me whenever you think you can," Plagg suggests, finally, sounding tired and less than happy about that compromise. "Or tell Nino if that's easier. Don't just- don't just keep things bottled up, that tends to not go well for anyone."

That's so much the opposite of what Adrien's always been told that it freezes him with confusion and uncertainty, long enough for Plagg to resettle himself on top of the blankets. He's not at all pinning Adrien in place, and his presence is still more reassuring than anything else, but it's not until he starts purring again that Adrien really unfreezes.

He wants to lean back into Plagg, or forward into Marinette, but both seem weird so he only curls up tightly where he is.

Adrien's eyes slip closed again.

He doesn't keep waking up, this time.

It's light that wakes him in the morning- Marinette's stretching, and it moves the blanket enough for sunlight to strike in through the windows.

"Plagg?" Marinette says, yawning, and starts to say something else before her eyes flicker to Adrien blinking up at her from next to Plagg and she seems to change her mind. "Thought you didn't like how cramped it is up here."

It doesn't _feel_ cramped up here. Maybe Adrien's perceptions are skewed, but he hasn't felt cramped at all anywhere in this house, even though it's a much smaller house than he's used to. Knowing that nothing's _locked_ makes all the difference in the world.

"M'still asleep, go away," Plagg grumbles, flicking his tail over his eyes.

Marinette snickers and stretches. "You're awake, though, right Adrien?" When he nods, she smiles at him and says, "Wanna go see if we're actually awake before Alya?"

He wants to know how she slept. He wants to tell her good morning, or- he doesn't _know_ what else he wants, except that all of it involves talking to her.

He doesn't actually want to be a familiar.

But he'll _be_ one, if it means he can talk to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~it was me that lied about save points and snuck into siblings rooms to keep playing~~


	11. stroke of

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning at the end of this chapter to avoid minor spoilers

Nino is already up and making breakfast when Adrien follows Marinette into the kitchen.  He doesn't see Alya anywhere, but he remembers what Plagg said about how Alya doesn't sleep well. He might still have assumed they were still asleep but he remembers running into them right away yesterday- Adrien thinks there's a really good chance they're up, too.

"Hey, good morning." Nino's made a pile of pancakes and sausage.  He starts dividing food between plates, handing each plate over to Marinette as he does so that she can set them on the table, and Adrien stops with one paw over the threshold to watch them. There's a warm thrum in his chest that kicks into a purr, surprising him, and he looks up to see Marinette smiling softly at him.

His purr rumbles louder and he has to shake himself all over before moving.

He jumps onto a chair and Marinette slides him a plate full of sausage before sitting down herself. Now that they have a better grasp on what Adrien can eat, he assumes that there's going to be less of everyone putting food on his plate, but when Alya does join them the first thing they do is steal pancakes off Nino's plate and then drop more sausage on Adrien's.

Adrien has no idea if that's normal or not  He looks up in time to see Marinette roll her eyes and steal pancakes off Plagg's plate as well, and then Plagg wanders over to the refrigerator and grabs himself cheese anyway, and this might just be something people _do_.  He doesn't know and he doesn't want to ask and _reveal_ that he doesn't know.

"Hey, let's switch rooms for today," Nino suggests when everyone's almost done eating.  "I know we've got the most space in the living room but I kinda want a change of scene, you know?"

"Sure, we can use my room instead." Marinette glances down at Adrien and Plagg.  "Does that work?"

Adrien nods, not quite sure what Nino means, and Plagg slides a glance at Adrien and sighs at whatever it is he sees.

"Kid," he says, ducking his head and batting very gently at Adrien's ears as they follow the others up to Marinette's room.  "Humans need variety, it's important.  Same thing day in and day out makes people depressed and anxious.  There's studies on it and everything."

Adrien blinks at him.

Plagg looks away and starts washing a paw.  "Been around long enough to do a lot of reading, and some topics got to be high priority faster than others."

Adrien's quiet about that, too.  He wouldn't mind reading some of Plagg's books himself but- but unless Alya can really find a solution, that's still going to be difficult. Adrien doesn't want to ask Alya.  He doesn't want to remind them that he can barely read like this.  He's never admitted that to anyone before and he's _still_ ashamed about having to tell them at all, especially since Plagg doesn't _have_ that problem.

"Adrien," Alya says, and Adrien stops fretting long enough to look up at them.  "Hey, wanna join me on the chaise lounge? I can test illusions anywhere in the room from there."

Nino gives them a suspicious look. "You're just going to test them on me.  Aren't you."

Alya grins at him.

It's more interesting than before.  Alya does cast on Nino, and that means they aren't static illusions.  Nino is moving the whole time, looking through Marinette's books with her and occasionally stopping to translate for Adrien, and the illusions move _with_ him the same way the cat illusions from their nighttime run did.

Well, mostly.  These seem to be a little less fluid than the cats were.

"Totally human illusions can be a little harder for me," Alya admits reluctantly, after the third time Nino complains that he _knows_ they've given him a fox tail again.  "They're not as much fun so they're harder to concentrate on.  Well, that's how it works for me, it's not- domains work differently for different people, sometimes.  That's why Marinette uses music even though Tikki doesn't."

Adrien hesitates. He thinks about what Plagg said last night, about how Adrien seems more frightened now than he was before.  He doesn't _want_ to be.  He wants to be happy here without also being afraid _of_ being happy here.  He wants-

He wants to ask questions, with people he knows will answer them and not rebuke him just for _asking_ , and he _wants_ to learn about his friends and about their magic. 

"What about you?" he asks Nino, finally, nervously, fighting the urge to cringe back as soon as he says it.  Which is ridiculous, Nathalie may have glared and scolded but it wasn't as though she'd ever _hit_ him. He doesn't think she's ever laid a hand on him as a human at all. Even when he was younger, even though Nathalie's been around longer than he can remember, he doesn't think she's ever so much as put a hand on his shoulder.

Though she'd always seemed perfectly willing to grab him as a cat.  Grab him, pick him up by the scruff, catch him by any  means available, drop him whenever she'd brought him to her destination- Nathalie is a large part of the reason being picked up or carried makes Adrien so nervous.  Somehow he doesn't think she's ever been a cat person. The Gorilla had caught him nearly as frequently but had always seemed to be much more careful with him.

Nathalie's never treated Adrien like _he_ was the same person when he was transformed, much less like he was _still human_.

But she's still never hit him.  No one has, really, not on purpose.

"Oh, I- uh.  My Wildspeech is- I'm a little different." Nino sounds oddly uncomfortable.  When Adrien looks up at him, Nino's gaze is fixated on something across the room, and Nino has never talked to Adrien without looking at him before now.

Adrien blinks at him, his stomach twisting.  One question and somehow he _did_ screw it up.   "You- you don't have to answer me, I didn't- mean- you don't have to answer."

"No, dude, it's fine," Nino says immediately.  "It's just kind of weird to talk about, we don't really... mention it, honestly.  I mean, I guess it's not really a secret, our whole class knew? But none of them really say anything about it either."

"Well," Marinette says, dryly.

Nino rolls his eyes.  "Kim doesn't count, he didn't mean to _and_ no one listens to Kim."

" _We_ listen to Kim," Alya points out, amused, as they relax across the chaise lounge and rest one hand beside Adrien.  It's only when they don't move to pet him that Adrien realises that Alya is the only here who really _doesn't_ pet him.  He's not- sure how he feels about that. There's been a couple conversations that Alya hadn't participated in or had left during, too, now that he thinks about it. He wonders what that's about.

"No one _else_ listens to Kim," Marinette amends.  "We _know_ Kim, that's different."

"What didn't he keep secret?" Adrien ventures, looking between them, and then he catches himself flexing his claws again when they dig into the blanket on the chaise lounge. He thinks if Nino was truly upset about Adrien asking then Nino would just _tell_ him that, but he's still uncertain enough that he's tensing up whether or not he wants to.

"Wildspeech doesn't really- work like it does for me," Nino says slowly.  "Not usually.  It's supposed to be something active, something you invoke when you need it.  Mine's- not.  It's just always on.  We figure it's from whatever Marinette actually did, because we still don't really know what that _was_ , but it's passive magic when it should be active.  I _should_ have to cast to use it but I've never needed to."

Adrien finds he's pressed against Alya's side a little at that.  He's so relieved to be around anyone who understands him at all that he would have _wanted_ Nino to cast, when it's for something as important to him as talking to- to anyone, but- Adrien has been blindsided too often now by anxiety and panic.  He's unhappily sure that if Nino's Wildspeech required actively casting on Adrien it _would_ panic him, no matter how much he doesn't _want_ that to be true.

He's pressed closer to Alya than he meant to.  He doesn't know why they're less inclined to pet him than the others are, but he isn't going to ask, and he starts to pull away.

Alya's hand moves to rest gently against his side.  They still don't pet him, and they don't touch him anywhere else, but Adrien does feel immediate relief that it's apparently _not_ that they're just avoiding touching him.  Maybe it's not about _him_ at all.

"Kim's one of our classmates," Alya says to Adrien.  They don't look any less amused.  "He's got a strength domain, which is pretty common, so it's a little weird he was even in our class.  I think he and Ivan might have requested it, actually, because there were already two classes that _focused_ on strength domains and they're the only two that joined the mixed class with us instead."

"Two _classes_?" Adrien says, relieved for the distraction.  He's not entirely sure how many people are in a class, but even if it's only five or six students in each that's more people than he can easily picture.

(That's more people than he's actually known before).

"Yeah, strength isn't an unusual one, like Alya said." Nino drops into the desk chair, rolling it closer so that he can swing his legs up onto the chaise lounge and stretch to poke Alya with his feet.  "The less common your domain is the smaller your class tends to be, but if you have related domains like, uh, damn.  Alya?"

They roll their eyes.  "Like illusions and trickery."

"Still not convinced you aren't just _hiding_ a trickster domain on us," Marinette says, scanning through her books.  "Because you would, wouldn't you?"

"Okay, I think if Alya has a hidden domain it's wild and also, not _well_ hidden." Nino picks up another book from the desk and flips through it absently before setting it back down.  "But my point was, they'll put you in the same class with related domains so that they aren't teaching, like, two students at a time."

"And if you have something rare like Wildspeech or Nathaniel's Sketching, they'll just dump you in our class," Alya chimes in, leaning back and glancing down at Adrien.  "Well, they would with us, anyway.  We were the first mixed class in our school.  Before that you kinda had to hope you could find someone to apprentice to, because the school system wasn't gonna help."

"Sketching?" Adrien asks, stretching his head out over his paws as his tail lashes with an interest he usually tries to hide.  Nathalie has always discouraged asking too many questions, and Adrien has had to bite down hard on so many things he's wanted to ask in the past, because the scolding he's guaranteed to receive for rudeness usually isn't worth satisfying his curiosity.

Usually.

But he has found topics in the past where that curiosity was strong enough for him to push to know more, and sometimes- not often but it _did_ happen- that would at least earn him a book about it to read on his own time, and besides that-

No one _has_ said anything about him asking questions.  He thinks Plagg actually prefers it when he does. That's taking some adjusting to, when he's never really been- when that curiosity hadn't really been encouraged, much.

"Sketching's another wild talent," Nino says, tilting the desk chair too far back for a moment and almost losing his balance before leaning forward again.  "It's a cool one, too, it's actually pretty crazy powerful for anyone who has good control of it.  And Nathaniel is a _really_ good artist, so he _is_ really powerful.  He can Sketch things into existence- inanimate objects, not, like, anything living, and there's limits, but _still_.  It's a really rare talent and it's even rarer for someone to be able to use it effectively."

"Effectively." Marinette snorts.  "He Sketched a boat for that class party!  A _working_ boat, I think he's a little more than just _effective_."

"You're just saying that because he Sketched you fabric when he asked you out that time," Alya teases her, and Marinette goes bright red.

Adrien's chest hurts at that, at listening to them discuss their friends and classes and shared experiences.  He wants that, too.  He's _always_ wanted that.

He can't _have_ that. Even if he hadn't missed his chance already, even if he weren't too old now, he can never have that.

He doesn't regret running- he doesn't think he can ever regret running, even if he does regret that he almost certainly hurt his father and Nathalie by doing so.  He's tried so many times to tell them, though, that he can't stand living locked in one place, that he needs to get _away_ at least some of the time, and now that he _has_ he knows they won't ever let him out again if he goes back.

He knew when he first felt the spells break and bolted that he was giving up being human.  He _knew_ that.  He knew that, and he'd run anyway, and he doesn't deserve to mope about it now when _he's_ the one who made that choice.

"Adrien?" Nino asks, hunching over to Adrien's eye level. "Hey, are you all right, dude? You got kinda quiet there."

Adrien doesn't look up for a long moment, staring intently at his paws instead and then wishing that he hadn't. He doesn't want to _have_ paws.  He doesn't want to be small enough to be so easily picked up and carried.  He doesn't want to be unable to talk to almost anyone he encounters, and even though Nino and Plagg _help_ with that- they help _so much_ with that, when he'd never thought that anyone at all would understand him in this form- when no one else ever _has_ -

He's still so acutely _aware_ of it.

Marinette and Alya have never heard his voice.  Marinette and Alya are never _going_ to hear his voice, not unless he contracts with one of them, and even then- even then, it will only be _one_ of them. 

He... thinks. 

He doesn't even know if it's _possible_ to have more than two people in a contract.

He doesn't know if contracting with Nino instead would- would _work_ , and he doesn't know why no one has brought it up, and that is something he is definitely still too afraid to ask about.  He's been here long enough now to know that it's _odd_ that no one, not even Plagg, has so much as mentioned it, and he has _no idea_ why they haven't. That Nino's Wildspeech is different from the usual kind (and that Nino was clearly uncomfortable explaining that) is the first hint Adrien's had that there might be a good reason no one has said anything about it.

They would tell him.  They _would_ tell him, if that was an easier solution.  Plagg would, at the very least- Plagg knows how little Adrien knows about contracts and familiars and how badly Adrien wants to talk to his friends.

Plagg would _tell_ him.

"Adrien?" It's Alya who asks this time, very quietly, and this time they do move their hand, resting it very lightly across his back.

Adrien flinches, scrambling away so suddenly that he nearly falls off the chaise lounge.

He doesn't _mean_ to; he's not afraid of Alya, he trusts them, but it's too close to a reaching motion- too close to someone ready to grab him, to drag him back when he doesn't want to _go_ and he wasn't paying enough attention to his surroundings and that's what gets him _caught_ -

Plagg jumps onto the chaise lounge with them both, claws digging into the fabric as he twists in between Adrien and Alya.  "Breathe, kid, okay?" He curls up between them in a position that looks uncomfortable, and Adrien doesn't understand until Plagg flicks his tail out and drapes it over Adrien's front paws. "No one's gonna grab you.  Even if you tell them they can pick you up, they're not gonna _grab_ you, okay?"

Adrien starts to reply, but the words wither and die in his throat and he whimpers instead.  He starts to duck his head to bite at his front paws but Plagg flicks his tail across Adrien's nose and stops him.

"Sorry!" Alya says hastily, drawing their hand away with careful deliberation.  "Sorry, Adrien, are you okay?"

It's just Alya.  It's just _Alya_ , and they've been even more careful than the others never to grab Adrien or handle him without his express permission, and what if Alya thinks he's only reacting like this _because_ it's Alya when that's not it at all?

Words are still difficult but Adrien forces them out anyway.  "S-sorry, startled me, not you."

Even Plagg looks like he needs a second to parse that and Adrien winces internally.  His words coming out garbled is not new, but it's never actually _mattered_ before.

It's not as though anyone had ever been listening before.

Adrien shies away from that thought, even though he's acutely aware by now that all the things he's so determined not to think about will have to catch up to him eventually.

"He says it wasn't you, Alya, he was just startled," Nino translates, but slowly, watching Adrien like he needs to be sure that's correct.

It _is_ , so even though being watched that closely still makes Adrien very tense he puts his head down and tries very hard to concentrate on his breathing.  Plagg is purring again.

Adrien wonders how often Plagg purred before the last few days.  He doubts it was this often, not when Plagg's actual kids are obviously a lot better adjusted than Adrien is (and not when they're actually _human_ ).

"Adrien, why don't you come up here?" Marinette suggests, gesturing at her bed. "If you want to, I mean. I think- you seem more comfortable when you're up higher."

Adrien has to think about that for a minute.

He _does_ feel more at ease when he's climbed up somewhere high. He's never realised that before. But that's why his favourite feature in his room had been the climbing wall, why he'd been on Marinette's balcony at all when climbing up there had actually slowed him down- he'd been trying to get up _above_ everything.

"Adrien?" Marinette's voice is very gentle.  " _Do_ you want to?"

He tries to answer her and still can't, but Plagg lets him up right away as soon as he starts to struggle to his feet and doesn't stop him when he tumbles off the chaise lounge.

Nino and Alya both look like they want to give Adrien a hand, but no one makes any move to reach towards him. He doesn't realise that he's been slinking close to the floor until he finds himself straightening up again.

Marinette follows him up the ladder, settling in on the side of the bed furthest from him and not saying anything as Adrien curls around his pillow from the night before. He paws Marinette's blanket and Alya's shirt closer to him and then isn't sure why he finds himself looking around fruitlessly for a moment.

Then Nino says something to Plagg, too quiet even for Adrien to make out, and Adrien realises that he was looking for something that smelled like Nino and like Plagg. 

He curls in smaller on himself.

He already knows his friend's scents better than he does their faces.  He doesn't think he can talk to Plagg about how much that hurts, because Plagg _chose_ this.

But...

It _isn't_ the same.  Plagg's happy as a cat and Adrien... isn't.

But Adrien made a choice, too, didn't he?

His choice was between feeling like a caged wild animal all the time, right down to being trotted out to be on display on occasion, and being a literal animal- but it _was_ still a choice, and he _had_ chosen cat over human.

He takes a deep breath, and another, and he's- a little more okay with wanting to smell like his friends.  Being in Marinette's bed probably helps with that, too. He almost thinks he can manage telling Plagg and Nino that it bothers him that it still doesn't smell like them, but he tries to say that and it's still too hard.

"Better?" Nino asks, and when Adrien does glance up Nino's on the ladder, resting his folded arms on the bed. Marinette's shifted back against the wall to make space for him.

"Yes," Adrien rasps, on the second try.  "Wh-where's Alya? I'm sorry, it was- it wasn't them, really."

"They know that," Nino assures him, although something still makes him look upset for a moment.  "Really, probably better than the rest of us."

That's a little confusing to Adrien, but he really just wants to move on and pretend he _didn't_ just have another episode, so he lets it go.

"Hey," Alya calls from below, and Nino sighs as another illusion drops over him.

This is the first illusion Alya's tried that doesn't seem to have picked up a single nonhuman trait.  Adrien remembers Alya saying that's harder for them to do, but he has to study it longer to understand what it is about that makes this appearance feel more _right_ to him than the others did.

Nino tilts his head and his now-significantly-longer hair falls over one eye.  "Adrien?  Is... this one you like?"

Nino's hair is a weird shade, somewhere between his own usual hair colour and Marinette's, and his eyes have changed to match Alya's.  Nino moves cautiously back enough for Adrien to get a better look at- well, it is still Nino, so _him_ , but Adrien's surprisingly relieved to see that Alya's illusion is androgynous. He didn't think that was something he wanted but- he does like the idea.  (And he doesn't think it's something that will ever occur to his father or Nathalie).

Exactly what he's seeing still doesn't click right away. Maybe it's because Adrien has to try and remember to concentrate on _not_ simply looking past the illusion, because it's easy enough for him to see Nino still, or maybe it's because he _does_ know his friends better by scent.  But when Nino tilts his head in a way Adrien's more used to seeing from Marinette, it hits him.

Unlike any of the others, this illusion looks like a combination of Alya, Nino and Marinette.

"Adrien?" Alya calls up.  "Sorry that I don't know what you look like, but I thought... well, I thought maybe this was a good compromise."

Even if Adrien could tell them what he looks like- and he _can't_ , not when he's fairly certain Marinette has magazines in here that he's _in_ \- it wouldn't be safe when they want to bring him outside.

"Yes," Adrien says, so quietly at first that he has to repeat himself.  "Y-yes, this is- this is what I-  want."

Plagg ducks under Nino's arm and joins Adrien and Marinette.  Adrien never even saw the older cat come up the ladder.

Studying him closely, Plagg says, "You're sure, kid? That this _is_ something that you want?  Definitely?" 

"Yes," Adrien repeats, more firmly. It's not a lie.  He's drawn to this illusion immediately in a way he wasn't with any of the other attempts.

He'll have a harder time trying to convince himself that they don't _really_ want him around when his own appearance makes it obvious that they _do_.

"Okay," Alya says, when Nino's relayed his agreement.  "I can keep it up for a few hours, at least, so you can get used to what you'll look like."

"You don't mind?" Adrien asks Nino, his tail flicking self-consciously. He doesn't want Nino to be uncomfortable for his sake, and he doesn't know how Nino feels about wandering around with a different face.  Adrien's pretty certain there's a reason no one ever suggested that Alya test human illusions on themself, after all.

"I don't mind." Nino leans further onto the bed, blinking.  His eyes aren't _exactly_ the same shade as Alya's, Adrien sees now- they're a little too close to Marinette's shade as well to look like Alya's alone.  "If I can handle being Dick Grayson for half a night I can definitely deal with being _you_ for a few hours.  It's cool, dude."

"Hey," Alya says.  "He's the best Robin."

"And they're changing his name from Dick now, you know," Marinette teases, moving closer to Adrien.  She settles right next to him, close enough that his fur brushes the fabric of her jeans, but she doesn't reach for him like she usually would.  "It's- well I'm not sure what it is now, actually, but they do plan on changing it."

Alya snorts.  "Oh, yeah, like that'll stick."

Nino hums something and turns to grin knowingly down at his friend. (Adrien abruptly realises he doesn't know _what_ words to use in relation to Alya and Nino.  He hasn't thought to ask). Singsong, Nino says, "Even Old New York was once New Amsterdam-"

Marinette chimes in with, "Why they changed it, I can't say, people just liked it better that way!"

Alya laughs. "Okay, okay, you two, you've made your point.  I get it, you can stop now, okay?"  They step back far enough that Adrien can see them more easily.  "Do any of you plan on coming back down here?"

Nino makes a face, which Adrien watches with fascination right up until he realises he doesn't know how much of it is Alya's doing.  Is Adrien going to have control over his own facial expressions, or will Alya? He hadn't thought that far ahead.  He doesn't have any idea how that might work.

He's not sure that he _wants_ to think too hard about that.

"No, Al, I thought I'd see how many people Marinette's bed can handle at once," Nino says, dryly.

"Nino I love you but you are my _brother_ , please don't say anything like that ever again no matter _who_ you look like," Marinette hisses, flushing crimson.

Nino flushes, too. "I didn't mean it like that! I- you know what, actually, I'm just going back down by Alya."

"Adrien?" Marinette looks down at him, gently brushing the back of her hand against his side.  "Are _you_ ready to go back down?  We've really just got to work on my part now, and that's difficult from up here." She tilts her head.  "Or... you can stay up here, if you don't want to be that close while I'm doing spellwork.  It's okay, I had an idea, I'm just going to be casting on the dress form in the corner for now, all right?"

He really wants to reply to her without needing an intermediary this time.  Plagg and Nino are right here, but they won't always be, and he can't rely on them all the time.  It isn't as though he can expect them to follow him around forever.

Adrien puts his front paws on Marinette's knee and meows, looking over the edge of the bed and then back at her.

"Okay," Marinette says easily, making her way to the ladder and waving Adrien and Plagg both over to her. "Do you want help down?"

Adrien shakes his head, jumping onto the first rung of the ladder after her.  He does come close to losing his balance but he recovers quickly enough that no one comments. 

Alya's retreated back to the chaise lounge, and this time Nino's followed them.  Marinette takes the vacated desk chair and wheels close to the dress form.  "I'm going to be doing active casting in a minute.  You don't have to stay in the room if you get uncomfortable."

He's already uncomfortable.  She hasn't even started and he knows he's trembling.  Alya's illusions are _different_ , they don't _feel_ like magic, they don't make him so nervous.

But she's doing this _for_ him, and he can't spend his whole life this afraid of magic.  He needs to start getting used to it, the same way he needs to get used to being a cat.

But he does recognise that staying too close to Marinette right now is still a bad idea, so he turns and heads for the chaise lounge.  He hesitates when he realises that Alya and Nino together take up more room than he thought they did. There isn't really much space left at all.

Adrien shuts his eyes.  When he opens them again, he jumps up and onto Alya's lap.

"Adrien, hey," they say, softly, keeping their voice low.  "You don't have to do that.  I get it, sometimes emotional reactions are out of your control and it sucks, a lot."

Adrien only settles himself more comfortably instead of truly responding to them. Alya's hands are at their sides, and Adrien pointedly arches his back into one of them.

They _still_ don't pet him.

He tries to focus on sorting through whatever it is he's feeling about that instead of what it is that Marinette's doing that her side of the room already smells like spring rain and mint as she starts to hum. The scent and sound really _are_ more reassuring than anything else, except that they both still have the underlay that Adrien can't describe as anything but simply 'magic,' a sensation that puts his fur on end. 

Plagg pads soundlessly over and stretches up to nudge at him.  "You can see what she's doing, kid, remember? Might help if you watch, at least once.  Doesn't have to be this time but remember it's something you can do."

Adrien rests his head on his paws again and blinks up at Plagg.  He does start to look over at Marinette with that particular whisker-twitch Plagg showed him, but he shies away at the last second.  He hasn't had to do that to see around or through Alya's illusions, he can just _see_ them. He doesn't exactly understand what makes the difference between their magic but it's harder when this way forces him to consciously acknowledge there's a spell going on in the same room that he's chosen to stay in.

"It doesn't have to be now." Nino repeats Plagg's words patiently, leaning against Alya a little to reach over and rest one hand on Adrien's back.  "Hey, you wanted..." He trails off.  When Adrien looks up at him, worried now, Nino's staring at nothing with a frown on his (on Adrien's) face.  Nino sighs.  "Sorry, I was trying to think of a better way to phrase this but I've got nothing, dude.  You want us to pet you now, right?"

He _does_ , but he can't meet Nino's eyes when he nods. Immediately Nino does start petting him, but very lightly, and very slowly.

For some reason Adrien thought that he'd feel better if they went back to petting him.  He doesn't. This is worse.

"Kid?" Plagg's voice is oddly gentle, even accounting for how weird Adrien's being right now. "You can talk to us, you know."

Adrien swallows, hard. His throat feels like it's going to close when he tries to answer.

Marinette's humming has switched over into soft singing and his ears have no trouble picking it up.  She's not _that_ far away, Adrien's had spells cast on him from farther. "The legend of the firebird is one of transformation, if you dare to take the journey and you give the wolf his due. Let the flames inspire for you are your own creation, throw your fear upon the pyre and let it rise as something new-"

"But you don't _have_ to say anything, dude.  Not if you don't want to." Nino's hand rests in one spot slightly longer, and Alya must give him some kind of look, because Nino tells them softly, "He stopped talking."

"I didn't- I didn't mean to," Adrien says, forcing it around the lump in his throat, because _wanting_ has nothing to do with it.  The words come out much quieter than he intends them to.

"It's all right, we've got you," Alya says, finally moving to pet him.  They only brush the back of their hand along his side a couple times, but Adrien sighs in relief and a thrumming tension he wasn't consciously aware of drains out of him.

Alya pauses.

"Adrien," they say after a moment, and they sound carefully neutral, and Adrien tenses up again.   "Adrien, don't- I was never mad at you, okay?  Not at all.  Reactions and emotions don't always make sense, I _get_ that, Adrien." They shift around a little bit.  He thinks they might be getting ready to stand up, but he can't bring himself to look around, so he can't check. _He_ should get up, but he doesn't.  He can't.

The hum of magic in the room is a lot stronger now. Marinette almost sounds like she's in a trance; she's definitely not going to be contributing to their strange pile on the chaise lounge.  Adrien catches "So you think you don't burn bright enough, I tell you it's not true," before he can't hear her over his own irregular heartbeat.

No.  No, he _just_ had an episode, he _can't_ do this again. Not- this quickly.

He presses his head against his paws and tries to slow his breathing.  He's dully aware that at some point he accidentally clawed at Alya's jeans, and he must have scratched them, but they didn't say anything.

"Adrien, can I pick you up?" Alya says.  "There's something I want to talk to you about.  Privately."

Adrien doesn't see how that's going to work but he doesn't have enough energy to spare to protest.  When he nods, Alya gathers him up carefully in both arms and stands. He thinks they press a reassuring hand to Nino's shoulder first.

Adrien glances back into the room as Alya carries him out.  Marinette's still completely absorbed in- in whatever she's doing, he can't afford to pay much attention to that corner of the room.  Nino, though, Nino looks guilty. Plagg is only watching with a neutral expression and his tail lashing slowly but Nino looks like he thinks he's failed at something. Adrien hurts at the look on his friend's face.

And Nino is still wearing the illusion that's going to be Adrien's.  Adrien honestly is mostly happy about that, but there's a whole dark tangle of other emotions simmering just beneath the surface that he's very afraid to look too closely at.

Alya doesn't take him very far.  They sit down at the bottom of the ladder, their back to it, and wait for Adrien to curl up in their lap again.  Then they wait even longer until Adrien sneaks a glance up at them. 

They're just watching him.  They don't look _happy_ and Adrien flinches badly.

Alya sighs, and this time they do reach out and pet him.  Like before, though, they stop quickly. "Look, I don't- really wanna do this in front of Nino, and I'm sorry about that.  We can still go get him if you need to.  But I don't really talk about this, like, at all." They smile wryly.  "Probably I should.  With Plagg or Anansi, at the very least.  But I don't.  Adrien, I know illusions don't really work the same way for you- you can choose to see them or not, right?"

A little surprised at how sure they are of that, when Marinette hadn't been certain whether it was true, Adrien nods. 

"I talk to Plagg," Alya says dryly, so something about his surprise must have shown. "He didn't admit he was human to me until, like, just before he brought you home, but I knew he wasn't a cat, that part's not exactly a well-kept secret.  I've been talking to him since we were _kids_ but Marinette and Nino don't _know_ that, okay? I just- I needed to talk, and I figured he wouldn't tell anyone, and if he did it would be Nino and that was okay anyway." They sigh again and scratch the back of their head.  "You didn't really know anything about- about trans people before, right?"

He really still doesn't.  Adrien shakes his head. 

Alya takes their hand away from their head and grimaces. "Well.  It's- a really complicated concept, and there's a lot of arguing about it still, and I can- find some podcasts that'll explain better than this, but.  I was born female.  I don't think of myself as female.  In fact, I really hate it when other people do, that's why- well." They gesture at themself.  "Adrien, I've been wearing this illusion since I was twelve.  I don't- I don't _get_ it, get it, because I'm not you and I don't have your experiences, but I know that I was super _freaked out_ the first couple weeks I was doing this."

Adrien blinks at them, stunned. Alya seems so self-assured.  They have a kind of self confidence Adrien's pretty sure is only a wistful pipe dream for him. He can't picture them being 'freaked out' at all, and especially not for a matter of weeks.

"I was," Alya affirms, and Adrien can believe that they did spend all that time talking to Plagg, because there's not even the pause Marinette gives him to try and express himself more clearly before they're replying to him.  "And I didn't tell anyone, because it's stupid, right?  It's what you want, so why are you freaking out about it at all? And no one's forcing you to do it, either, you _chose_ it, so now _you're_ the one being weird because you're _still_ so uncomfortable."

Adrien stares at them.

Alya's expression twists into a wry grin.  "Told you I get it.  Doesn't matter if you know it's not rational, you still _feel_ it.  Feels like you're lying and everyone's going to take one look at you and _know_ it.  And- I didn't-" Their face falls a little.  "I didn't have to deal with anyone telling me I wasn't human. Well- okay, there _are_ people who say that, but they're the kind of people who get kicked out of the library for harassment and hate speech, so."

He's still reeling from Alya putting his feelings into words so clearly but that sounds like- like they've left a lot out of that story.  That sounds like something _happened_ to Alya, and considering they deliberately moved away from the others to tell him this, he isn't sure that their friends know about it.  Swallowing until his throat clicks dryly, Adrien says, cautiously,  "Alya?"

He can't tell that time if they don't understand him or if they're just determined to avoid elaborating, but they don't respond to that.

"I don't have a good solution."  Alya's quiet, and Adrien wishes he could make it clearer that he's worried about them, too.  "It gets better, yeah.  But it doesn't go away entirely.  I- even though I use lots of different illusions all the time, now, I didn't for a while.  I was too afraid to take this one back off.  And it sucks, yeah.  It _sucks_ that you can't just roll out of bed and look like _you_. Hanging around people who call you what you wanna be called helps. Staying active helps.  The illusions do help, after a while." They rub the back of their head.  "Plagg helps, more than you would think.  I kinda wonder... well, he's never changed back, I honestly don't know if he's ever even tried.  I wonder if maybe he wasn't comfortable, either."

Adrien thinks about Plagg's comment when Adrien had first learned that he was cursed, too, that there was a lot of human stuff he didn't want, and thinks that there's a better than even chance that Alya's right.

"And it's not perfect, nothing is." Alya drops their head back against the wall.  "I know someone with a music domain that helps me deepen my voice, and the others don't know about that.  And I- I don't like it, when people are hugging me, if they have their hands anywhere near my chest.  Illusions aren't physical, so that- I don't like that.  _That's_ why I wasn't petting you, before, I didn't know if you maybe felt the same way about people touching your ears or tail.  And I wasn't, uh, totally sure you'd say anything about it if you did."

Adrien doesn't know if he would have, either.  He doesn't think it bothers him any more or less than anything else about being a cat does, but he also hasn't expected _any_ of his meltdowns and he never knows what's going to set those off until it already _has_ , so he's deeply thankful that Alya's been trying to think ahead about what might bother him. _Adrien_ has trouble doing that.

He twists to butt his head against their hand, leaning against them heavily.  He still doesn't want them to think that it's only Marinette and Nino he's okay with petting him.  (Even if it probably is only Marinette, Nino, _and_ Alya he's okay with petting him).

"Got it," Alya says, and there's an undercurrent of relief in their voice.  "And it's okay if it's not all right _all_ of the time, okay, Adrien?  There's nothing wrong with changing your mind.  Sometimes stuff that feels fine one day can feel horrible another and _that's okay_ , that's normal.  Just- _tell us_ , all right?  Please."

Alya does pet him differently than the others do.  Nino and Marinette are gentle, always, but Alya's hand barely brushes him at all, and they pause for much longer periods of time.  Even after the conversation they just had (if he can really call it a conversation), it takes him longer than it should to realise they're giving him every chance to pull away. 

"Do you want to go back up there now?" Alya finally asks, and that does make Adrien freeze up.

It isn't that he doesn't want to.  He _does_ want to, they left all the others up there, but-

He can still smell the magic from here.  It's grown stronger again, it smells like more flowers than he currently has the mental strength to distinguish between.  It's not so sweet as to be overwhelming (it's not the horribly saccharine feeling Nathalie's magic sometimes took on) but he doesn't particularly want to be any closer than this.

Alya yawns.  "Or we can wait here, they know where we went.  Plagg's probably eavesdropping anyway." At the alarmed look Adrien gives them, Alya laughs.  "I told you, I've talked to Plagg for a long time.  Maybe I hadn't told him _everything_ I told you but he's had an idea for a while now."

Adrien thinks back to that library comment and resolves to ask Plagg. 

"I haven't had much sleep," Alya says, apologetically.  "So if I start nodding off, I don't mean to."

This time words come much easier.  Maybe he needed to hear something like this from Alya more than he thought he did.  "I haven't had much sleep, either."

Alya continues to pet him, very cautiously, and he notices after a while that whenever Marinette's magic grows stronger and makes him nervous again Alya stops to check on him. 

A purr starts to rumble out of him after he puts that together.  It's a lot louder than he'd usually be comfortable with, but for once Adrien's not worried about that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER: there's a discussion about dysphoria between alya and adrien at the end of this chapter. alya doesn't call it that, and there's a lot of things they leave out because they aren't relevant here, and alya's experiences don't necessarily reflect anyone else's- but if someone talking about dysphoria is going to bother you, that's a lot of that conversation. 
> 
> that first song is Istanbul by They Might Be Giants, and the song Marinette's singing later is Burn It Down by Vixy & Tony.
> 
> my family absolutely has this food stealing habit and i did not know for SO LONG that it isnt just a normal thing.


	12. beats early rising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by shinobicyrus- thanks cy!

Adrien doesn't know which of them falls asleep first, but he wakes to Nino crouching in front of them both with a grin.  Nino's back to looking like Nino.  Marinette is nowhere in sight, but Plagg is sitting next to Nino with an amused tilt to his head. 

"Well, at least the two of you are getting a little more sleep.  Marinette's done, by the way, but she couldn't get it to work the way she wanted."  Nino shrugs, grin fading a little.  "Sorry, Adrien, I guess it's gonna take a while longer.  Dude, are you sure-" He cuts himself off, then resumes like he _didn't_ just stop mid-sentence.  "Marinette fell asleep, too, but she's gonna be hungry.  Wanna come help me with lunch?"

"I thought I was still banned from helping in the kitchen, babe," Alya yawns.

Nino rolls his eyes and offers them a hand up as Adrien stretches and hops back out of their lap. "You are, I was asking Adrien." 

Adrien stops and looks at him uncertainly.

"Yes, he means it," Plagg tells him, grooming his whiskers.  "Which is ridiculous, by the way, Alya's mother is a chef."

That wasn't Adrien's question but he blinks up at Alya anyway.

"Plagg," Alya sighs good-naturedly.  "I told you, I can tell when you're making fun of me."

"He's justified, Alya, he's pointing out that your mom's a chef," Nino says helpfully. He grins down at Adrien.  "But their dad does spend all day around wild animals.  Guess who Alya takes after."

Alya turns to face the rest of them, walking backwards as they make a face.  "And _your_ parents are bakers and I took home ec with you, Nino, your blueberry muffins were _actually blue_.  And you lit popcorn on fire.  Microwave popcorn.  _In_ the microwave."

"In my defense," Nino starts, and then slumps.  "Yeah, I don't actually have anything in my defense.  But hey, I made breakfast this morning!  In fact, you eat my food _a lot_."

"Well, yeah, I can't cook," Alya replies promptly, and at Plagg's snicker Adrien can't hold back his own laughter, either.

Nino did mean it, he finds out.  He asks Adrien to fetch things out of the refrigerator periodically and once Adrien gets used to pulling open the refrigerator the way Plagg showed him he starts to enjoy running things back and forth for Nino until he's done.

Marinette must have taken a power nap, because she comes down in time to steal Alya's second sandwich off their plate.  A moment later, after looking around and frowning, she gets Adrien a mug of water.

He gulps probably too much of it right away.

"Oh for- kid, why didn't you _tell_ Nino he forgot?" Plagg says, exasperated. 

Adrien blinks down at the mug and carefully doesn't say the first thing he thinks. 

"Adrien, I did forget." Nino sits back down, with a glass of his own and another mug of water for Adrien.  "Dude, say something next time, all right?  I wouldn't just get drinks for the rest of us and not you. Assume I forgot."

"...shouldn't assume things," Adrien mumbles.

Plagg jumps onto the chair next to Adrien, crowding it a little as he steals a slice of cheese off Nino's plate.  Given that the cheese wasn't even on Nino's sandwich, Adrien thinks it was probably left there _for_ Plagg, anyway. "And yet I'm pretty sure you made an assumption anyway.  Kid, I know it's hard, but you gotta start speaking up for yourself."

Hard is an understatement.  Sometimes it's too hard to speak up at all.

"Doesn't have to be in words, dude," Nino says, ruffling Adrien's fur as he passes by.  "You're smart, you know plenty of ways to get our attention."

It's only when Plagg snorts that Adrien's aware of how much he straightened up at that praise.

Nino's giving him a thoughtful look, though.  "Adrien? Hey, you are smart, dude.  You got here, remember?"

"With Plagg's help," Adrien reminds him, even though there's a pang in his chest at saying it.  He'd prefer that Nino did think he was smart but he's not going to be dishonest, even if it hurts, and his next words _do_ hurt but he forces them out anyway.  "Nino, I can't even read."

Nino shakes his head immediately.  "I meant before that, Plagg's not the reason you were _here_ when Marinette was casting Miracle, dude.  You did that without anyone's help.  And Adrien, reading's not a measure of intelligence, you know? You can read a whole library and still be an idiot, and you can read a few books in your life and be- well, Alya's one of the smartest people I know, and they haven't been in a library in years."

"What do you want from me?" Alya asks suspiciously, while Adrien is still getting tangled up over whether or not that's at all connected to Alya's earlier comment.

"Nothing, right now." Nino rests one hand across Adrien's back.  "Besides, dude, you definitely have extenuating circumstances here.  Plagg says you learn really fast, too, and that's really high praise from him."

Adrien's still reeling from that when they relocate to the living room again.

To his surprise, Marinette picks up a controller and offers him the other one immediately. When he doesn't move towards it, she tilts her head.  "I thought we could keep playing.  I mean, if you want to.  I thought about it some more, too, and we can play any of the older RPGs like this- with you playing during the battles, I mean.  I just thought, we started with this one, it'd be a shame to stop now."

Alya slithers off the couch and lands on the floor in front of it, crouching forwards with interest gleaming in their eyes.  "Oh please don't stop now, watching you both play this is _great_."

Adrien puts his paw on the controller.

Marinette lights up.  "Awesome! Let's go!"

Like before, time passes very quickly while they're playing.  Adrien isn't sure how long he and Alya were asleep in the hallway but he doesn't think it was very long- certainly not long enough to account for how fast it seems to get dark once they start playing.  Nino spends the first hour or so of gameplay looking through books, like the night before, but soon enough he joins Alya on the floor and starts commenting on the game right along with them.

There's no pizza order to bring them to a halt this time, and Plagg is dozing while the others are enraptured.  It isn't until Marinette's nearly asleep over her controller that they do stop for the night.

"I think I'm just gonna skip dinner, honestly, I'm exhausted," Marinette says, stretching out with a loud yawn.  "I could fall asleep right here."

"Firstly, don't,"  Nino tells her, leaning over and pulling her upright.  "Second, we agreed no one skips dinner after working, remember? If I don't get to then you don't get to."

Marinette makes a face.  "You have a job.  That was about your job."

"And spellcasting is _work_.  Come on, I don't care if it's just an energy bar, but you've gotta eat something.  You promised Tikki you'd be careful about that." Nino looks at Adrien.  "And we didn't eat that much at lunch, anyway."

Adrien pauses in nudging the controller away from himself. He thought he'd been less obvious.  "I'm not that hungry."

Plagg must not have been as asleep as he seemed, because he stands up and stretches now.  "Kid's probably telling the truth, Nino."  He casts Adrien an unreadable look.  "Takes time to adjust to more food than you're used to."

Nino does not say anything in response to that, but Adrien looks back at him quickly enough to see that he looks deeply upset by it.

Dinner's quick.  Marinette actually does grab an energy bar, to Nino's despairing groans, while the rest of them finish off the leftover pizza.  There's still just as much stealing from each other's plates as there was before.  Adrien's come to the conclusion that even if that isn't actually normal, it's normal for _them_ , and he's learning to expect it.

There's no discussion about where he's sleeping this time.  It seems to be assumed that he's going with Marinette again. 

Which is what he _wants_ , so he shouldn't feel so wretched about it.  He thinks back to what Alya said earlier, about how emotional reactions don't always make sense, and that does make him feel a little better.  Enough that he thinks he might actually be able to sleep tonight.

He goes over to the pillow Marinette set aside for him right away this time, but when he curls up on it he startles a little bit to find Marinette already turned on her side and watching him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." She props herself up on one elbow to talk to him.  "You know... it seemed like you didn't get much sleep last night.  You know I didn't mind you being- uh, closer than that, right?" She makes a vague gesture he thinks is supposed to represent 'cuddling up with me' and Adrien drops his gaze, pawing at his tail as he curls it around himself.

He wonders unhappily where he'd be sleeping if he weren't a cat.  On the couch, probably, or at the very least down below on the floor or maybe the chaise lounge- assuming Marinette would even still _want_ to share her room with him.

"Adrien-" Marinette reaches out and very gently brushes one of his ears. "Really, it's okay. If it's making you uncomfortable, you can leave, I'm not going to insist you stay. But _I'm_ not uncomfortable, okay? You're fine, I've been sleeping better with you here, honestly."

He doesn't look up.  It's no different from what Marinette's been telling him all along.  It's not fair to her that she has to keep repeating it, just because Adrien can't convince himself it's true.  Marinette's so _kind_ , he doesn't know that she wouldn't say the same thing even if she _was_ uncomfortable.

But Plagg would probably have said something.  No matter how much he's been helping Adrien, he's been part of Marinette's family much longer- Adrien thinks Plagg _would_ have said something to him if the older cat thought Marinette wasn't being honest about this.

Plagg's not in here with them tonight. Adrien's not sure where Plagg went, actually, except that it isn't Marinette's room- it's just Adrien and Marinette again.

"And, uh." Marinette takes a deep breath and sits up slightly, scooting back towards her headboard and reaching for the shelf behind it to rummage around.  She turns back to him with a sheaf of paper in her hands and a sheepish look on her face. "This is... probably a little premature, sorry, and I _don't_ want you to feel like you have to agree to anything.  _Especially_ not before you talk to Plagg about it more.  Maybe Nino, too, it's different for him but I know he _is_ planning on being a familiar.  I guess I've always assumed he wants to be Alya's familiar eventually, but I haven't actually asked either of them- sorry! Sorry, I'm rambling." She sets the papers down between them.  "I just- this is only a first draft anyway, right? But if you really do want a contract even after you know more about them, I thought maybe it wouldn't hurt to start on it.  I can read it to you?"

Adrien slowly puts one paw on the sheaf of papers, blinking down at it and feeling an unfamiliar swelling in his chest.  "You- you _did_ mean it.  You really do want me?" She could have anyone.  She could have _anyone_ , but she's still telling him that she wants _him_ , and by now he's starting to believe her.

Marinette misinterprets his question.  He should be used to that, but he's let himself get too used to Nino and Plagg already, and he studies his claws with an unnecessary level of intensity as she answers a question he didn't ask.  "Yes, it's literally a contract.  They aren't just called that.  I mean- they're called other things as well, like pacts, but they're commonly called contracts because they're actual _written_ contracts now.  I mean, they were always contracts, but pact was the more common word before we all started writing them down and-" She stops, pressing one hand to her mouth and shutting her eyes for a moment.  After taking a deep breath, she says, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so off topic. I- do you _want_ me to read it? It's- it's not a finished contract, okay?  I wouldn't- contracts need input from _both_ people involved." 

He isn't sure he does want her to read it.  He wishes he'd talked to Plagg a little more about what familiars are expected to do and be today, even though he can't regret the time he spent listening to Alya.  Adrien doesn't- know what he wants.  He's becoming more and more resigned that becoming a familiar is probably the best option he _has_ , and if he has to be a familiar then Marinette is still who he'd want for a witch, but-

She did say that it was only a first draft. That she still wants his input. 

(Input that he has no way to give until Nino is available again).

"Adrien," Marinette says, and he jerks back into paying attention, only now aware that he's been lost in his own head for- he doesn't know how long.  "Hey, if you don't want me to, I won't, okay? But I wanted you to know that I did mean it."

He trips himself up trying to give her a reply.  He doesn't want to shake his head and have her think he doesn't believe her, but he doesn't want to nod and have her think that he does want her to read it when he- he doesn't, and- and he actually believes her that she won't read it to him right now if he says he doesn't want her to. 

Marinette tilts her head.  "Do you want me to read it?"

Adrien goes more than a little limp with relief at being able to give her a clear answer even as he shakes his head.

Marinette pets gently behind his ears before resting her hand on his back.  "Okay.  There's nothing wrong with that, Adrien.  But if you still can't sleep you don't have to stay here awake all night, okay?  You can go anywhere in the house you want, at any time." Shes pauses and then looks over at the window.  "Or outside, for that matter.  You don't have to stay here."

"Okay," Adrien says softly, curling into an even smaller ball.

He probably _would_ sleep better if he was closer to Marinette.  He still doesn't feel very good about that.  Even with her permission, even with her repeatedly telling him she doesn't mind, it feels like taking advantage.  He still feels a terrible wave of self-recrimination when he thinks about how close she lets him sleep and then imagines he was human.  No matter how many times she's reassured him that she knows he _is_ human, that she does like having him here, it feels like-

Like he's lying to her.

It feels like Alya described, like he's lying about what he _is_.

Adrien does try a little longer to fall asleep.  Marinette falls asleep just as fast as ever, possibly even faster than he's beginning to learn she usually does, and he wonders just how much she tired herself out trying to make a construct work earlier.

He can't sleep.  He doesn't even manage his usual broken bits of sleep.

The only clock in Marinette's room is well out of his line of sight, so he's not sure what time it is when he finally gives up and wanders downstairs.

It's strange to walk through a dark house.  His room is always locked at night, and frequently during large parts of the day, so he's not very used to being up and about when the lights are out.  He can see far better at night as a cat than he'd actually been aware of, too- when he'd been in his room his windows had let him know when it was dark outside easily enough, but he also hadn't been able to reach very many light switches. 

Having an overhead light on for days at a time and no way to turn it off had not helped his already skewed sense of time.

Adrien doesn't see Plagg anywhere, but there's a shadow high up in the cat tree that he doesn't dare look at any longer than he has to.  That probably _is_ Plagg.

There's also a dimly flickering light in the kitchen. 

Adrien ducks his head as he peers timidly around the corner, not sure what to expect.

The kitchen lights are off, but the light is coming from a laptop that Alya's hunched over.  They're reading something intently on the screen and muttering to themself, too quietly for Adrien to make out any words.

He sits down in the doorway, unsure what to do.

He doesn't really know why he came down here at all. He still can't sleep, but that didn't make wandering around the house the next best decision.  Adrien isn't even all that sure why he's doing it at all.  He just... didn't have any idea what else he could do.  Normally he'd read, but he can't, or he'd watch something but that has its own complications now.

And... barring all of that, he'd try to find a way out of his room. Whatever kind of exit he managed to find would nearly always be fixed after he'd used it only once, and he had mostly gotten away during the brief time after photo shoots where no one was paying quite as much attention as usual, but he'd never been able to stop _looking_.

He still hasn't had to inspect how Marinette's trapdoor is rigged to open.  She's never shut it. 

Her window's cracked open, most of the doors are open as well, and even if they weren't it isn't as though the cat flaps lock.  (He's not sure he's seen a single lock anywhere).

But the combination of things he can't do and things he doesn't _need_ to do means that Adrien's not entirely sure what to do with himself.

Except that he thinks now that Plagg's been deliberate in mentioning that Alya also doesn't sleep well.

Adrien doesn't think he makes any noise.  He sits and watches Alya for a few minutes before he's comfortable enough to lie down in the doorway, because Alya hasn't reacted to him at all, and it's possible the movement is what catches their attention.

"Hey," Alya says, not much louder than they were muttering before.  "Can't sleep either?"

Adrien picks his head back up from his paws to nod before slumping back down over them.  He's _tired_ , he's tired a lot of the time, but even when he does fall asleep he never manages to _stay_ asleep. He wasn't exactly sleeping well when he was still out hiding on the streets and he thinks the very first night Plagg brought him home is also the last night he'd slept through.

Alya pushes away from the table a little bit, angling their chair towards him.  "Yeah, me neither.  And Nino's out like a _light_ , I'm so jealous.  Marinette, too?"

Adrien nods again. 

It's a lot easier to talk to Alya than he thought it would be.

And it helps that he _knows_ , now, why Alya has left or stopped contributing to certain conversations.  It helps that Alya does understand, and that they weren't trying to avoid _Adrien_ at all.

Alya gestures at the computer.  They look just as tired as he feels, when he makes a point of trying to pay attention to how they _look_ at all. He's not sure whether or not their illusion covers the dark circles under their eyes that _he_ can see.  "I was, uh, trying to tweak that dyslexia spell to see if it'd work for you.  I mean, I was trying to get letters _not_ to jump around for Kim, so... if I push it far enough in the other direction, _maybe_ that'll work?" They blink, slowly enough to give Adrien the further impression that they're not really awake because they _want_ to be.

He slinks in, slowly, not making eye contact with them as he jumps onto a chair and looks at the laptop.

It's better.  It's definitely _better_ , he can even make out words here and there without the kind of intent focusing he'd normally need, but his eyes still start skipping over parts of sentences and then entire paragraphs as his concentration wavers.  His ears go back as he slumps down. 

"Not quite, huh?" Alya sighs. "Yeah, it took a lot of back and forth with Kim, too.  _And_ that was after Max showed me a program that simulated what dyslexia looked like, I don't think I knew how helpful that was." 

"Max?" Adrien says slowly, flicking his tail.

It takes Alya a moment to sift through their own sentence. "Oh- uh.  Max, or programming?"

Adrien blinks at them.  He doesn't know how to pick one, and he has questions about both and honestly about dyslexia as well, but he _meant_ Max.

"Sorry, tired.  Uh- one paw for the first option?" Alya suggests, and Adrien immediately raises one paw.  "Alright.  Max is another of our classmates- you know, at some point we should really just show you our yearbook, we're gonna end up going through the whole class like this.  Max is- okay, actually, he's kind of another class secret?  Kinda?  I mean, we all just assumed no one would believe us, initially, and then by the time we thought anyone _might_ it was just... already kind of our _thing_." They rub the back of their neck.  "I am only now realising just how many class secrets we had, shit."

Adrien puts his head down on his paws and flicks his tail around himself, sensing that this might take Alya a while to explain.

By Alya's wry grin, they notice his reaction. "Max was in our class 'cause he's what people call null. He doesn't have _any_ magic, not even the ambient amount that just about everyone has.  Except that turned out to be wrong.  His domain's just so new that we're not sure whether anyone else even _has_ it." They gesture at their laptop again.  "His domain is technology.  He's worked on most of our laptops and tablets by now, so they all work a lot better than they should and they're all but impossible to trace, and in return we don't mention it to anyone else." They shrug.  "Though, honestly, I'm _still_ not sure anyone would believe us.  He's probably not the only one who can do it but if there _are_ others, it seems like they're keeping it quiet, too."

Adrien's ears flick with undisguised interest at that. He doesn't know how many domains there actually are, but he definitely wouldn't have guessed that there can still be _new_ ones, or that people might be hiding them.  He hopes he remembers to ask Plagg about that later.

Pushing much further away from the table now, Alya rubs at their eyes with both hands and groans. "Look.  I.  Shit, this is a _really_ bad idea.  But I'm super restless and I think I need to get _out of here_ for a little bit, do you want to come with me?"

Adrien sits upright in shock at that, tail curling around himself almost defensively.

Alya shrugs, but a little of the light goes out of their eyes at his reaction.  "Hey, you can say no.  I just, I _know_ I'm not gonna sleep, and I don't wanna wake the others.  Might as well go out for a bit, I kind of made myself wanna visit a friend anyway.  Uh- the guy with the music domain I mentioned earlier? Haven't asked him about a recast in a while. Which, like, I wouldn't have him do it around _you_ , obviously-" Alya winces.  "Because you don't like magic, not for any other reason, that came out weird.  Sorry. Anyway, his whole family keeps super weird hours, he's probably still up."

There's no real reason Alya can't just call her friend and find out.  Adrien may not own a cell phone, but he knows basically how they _work_ , and he thinks there are probably magical ways to send messages as well.

There's a tension strung out along Alya's frame that Adrien recognises from too many nights spent climbing walls, trying to pry open doors and windows, checking the floor and ceiling for weak spots.

He doubts whether or not Alya's friend is awake actually matters to them much.

Adrien's aware, too, that it _is_ a bad idea.  Just because no one's found him doesn't mean that no one's _looking_ , and the two of them alone are in a lot more danger than they would be with the others.

All the others are actually sleeping.

And Alya's obvious restlessness wakes a sympathetic echo in Adrien, an old familiar ache that he doesn't _have_ to try and push down this time.

He thinks Alya would have gone with or without him, when he thinks about it later. 

Adrien is prepared to sneak out, like before, even though he's realised by now that the sneaking aspect _can't_ have actually been necessary, but Alya only opens the front door and walks outside.  They even leave a hastily scribbled note on the kitchen counter first.

They do stop and turn to him immediately outside the door, dropping into a crouch that both keeps him out of line of sight and breaks up Alya's own silhouette.  "Okay, didn't _entirely_ think this through.  Usually I go over there with a fox illusion.  So- we can use animal illusions like before, or we can both use human ones.  But if we do that I think maybe we should both be doing it."

Adrien stares at them, not quite able to keep up with that line of thought.

Alya takes a deep breath, then says quietly, "Human illusions?"

They wait long enough for Adrien to realise they're asking him a question.

He hesitates, though.  It would make sense to do that right now.  It _would_.  His father's staff won't be looking for a human, they'll be looking for a cat, and they'd have no way of knowing that Alya even exists. 

"Adrien," Alya says, and he looks up at them.  "We don't have to."

They won't make him.  He knows they won't. He's already learning to trust that none of his friends are going to _make_ him do anything he's not comfortable with, and Alya's quiet talk with him in the hallway has only made him trust them more.

He probably shouldn't trust so easily.  He knows that Father would scold him for it, that Nathalie would call him naive.  Mother, too, had felt strongly that he shouldn't trust _anyone_ with knowledge of his curse.

And Adrien couldn't leave without triggering it.  Her advice had really been 'trust no one.'

He trusts his friends anyway.  So much else he'd learned wasn't true, and they've been so good to him, and he-

He hasn't had anyone _to_ trust in a long time now.

(He wonders if that's another thing Plagg would tell him humans need).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~guess who nearly failed home ec~~ okay twin did the muffin thing my group just. uh. started a fire. 
> 
> (cyrus way back at the beginning of this story: 'you don't actually know how to prepare fish you didn't catch ten minutes ago, do you.'
> 
> he was. not wrong).


	13. to those who look for it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by shinobicyrus!

"I mean, if you're okay with it," Alya reminds him gently. "It's _your_ human illusion."

Adrien _isn't_ comfortable with the- with _his_ human illusion, not yet, not entirely. He doesn't really want to wear it.  He doesn't want that reminder of what he can't have, especially not while he's getting an actual chance to meet people. Meeting people is terrifying enough on its own and he knows he's going to feel even more unbalanced knowing that he's relying on Alya's illusion- on Alya's _magic_ \- to keep him safe.

But he thinks he should agree to it, because it _is_ the safer option.

(That leads him to uncomfortable thoughts about the way Plagg had admitted they _should_ be insisting he go to the police but he's not at all prepared to think about that yet).

"Human illusions," Adrien finally says, pawing very gently at the fabric of Alya's jeans. Alya, who's still proving to be a lot better at interpreting him than he expected, glances down and back up.

"Yes to the human ones, then?" they ask, and at Adrien's nod their illusions fall over them both.

Adrien shakes himself as his settles. It hadn't occurred to him that he'd be able to _feel_ the size difference so acutely, and he's not sure he could describe the sensation if he was asked to. The only thing he can compare it to is when a shirt that used to fit hangs unexpectedly loose on his frame and even that isn't entirely accurate.

Alya straightens back up out of their crouch and glances sideways, higher than he's used to them looking.  It takes Adrien a moment to figure out that they're looking at the illusion's face rather than his real one.  "We'll walk slow, but lemme know if I start going too fast anyway, all right?" Their eyes flick down in time to catch his nod. _They_ don't seem to have any trouble adjusting to his illusion, although that could be because they're the one casting it.

They're three streets away before Adrien figures out that if Alya's used to using fox and cat illusions already, then of _course_ they're used to adjusting for the size disparity.

Adrien keeps close enough to Alya's heels that he worries at first about tripping them.  Alya doesn't seem to have any difficulty accommodating his trotting alongside them, though, and gradually Adrien starts to relax and then to enjoy himself.

They aren't running this time.  This is one of the very few chances Adrien's had to slow down and look around at his surroundings, to experience them without the usual constant thrum of panic at being caught.  Alya's making sure he doesn't look like a cat, and his illusory form is one that no one can possibly recognise. No one is going to catch him.  No one is even going to know to come after him.

He finds himself repeating that to himself far more frequently than he wants to admit.

The city at night isn't as empty as he thought it would be. It's not crowded, not when it's so late as to be early, but there are enough people for Adrien to catch himself drawing too close to Alya on more than occasion. 

It's still wonderful to be able to go at his own pace and pay attention to everything around him.  There's so _much_ out here.  There are other people walking or running along the pavement, and voices and music drifting from open windows, and the _smells_ -

Marinette's whole house smells like the bakery, but it's not just the building.  Adrien has spent so much time in his friend's laps and on Marinette's bed and even huddled under Alya's sweatshirt that everything just smells like his friends.  _He_ smells like his friends.  He's still not _happy_ that he knows them mostly by their scents but he's reassured by those scents, too.

The city is full of other smells, new and exciting smells. Adrien's whiskers twitch wildly as he scents the strangers hurrying past, the rats scurrying deeper into the alleyways as they pass, Alya beside him.

It's more than a little overwhelming.  Alya has to stop walking more than once so they don't trip over him when he's pressed too closely to their side. One of those times, they lean down and pretend to tie their shoe, covering where they're looking as they whisper, "Adrien, it's okay if you need to go back home.  I won't be upset."

The words _go back home_ hit him with an almost physical force, like being doused in cold water without warning. 

Adrien was just starting to relax enough to investigate his surroundings a little, but now he's _terrified_   and floundering with the suddenness of it. He falters as he stares up at Alya, blinking in shock and clawing convulsively at the pavement.

Is _that_ the real reason they're outside without any of the others?

Adrien shouldn't have come out here with them after all.

He doesn't know what Alya hears, but he hears himself whimper, shakily, "Don't make me go." He feels oddly disconnected from the words even as he says them, like he's only tenuously in control of his actions. 

He's shaking, he thinks.

Alya's eyes widen and they hiss, slightly, looking around very briefly to make sure no one's in earshot before leaning in again.  "Adrien, I meant _our_ home, I didn't- I just meant you don't have to go anywhere you don't have to.  Okay? I know you don't want to go back and _we would never make you_ , I _promise_."

Adrien is still cringing low to the ground, but at that he forces himself to straighten up and look at Alya.  He can't meet their eyes for more than a few seconds at a time but they look sincere.

They're _promising_.  Everyone has been so careful _not_ to promise him anything.  Even their plans for this illusion, for Marinette's construct- they were all honest about not knowing if they could do it.

But Alya is promising him this.

"It's okay," Alya says quietly.  "It's okay, I only meant our house, Adrien, you don't have to be out _here_ if you don't wanna be, either.  It's okay.  _Do_ you want to keep going?  We don't have to."

Adrien gets all four paws under himself again with an effort and then nods.

"Okay," Alya says, still studying him anxiously.  "But just like, swat me or something if you change your mind, all right?"

He probably can't do that, but he appreciates it all the same, so he nods again.

This time he's close enough to Alya's heels that they _do_ trip a few times, but they only snicker every time it happens.  Once, they mutter, "I'm already in a relationship, you know, I'm not the one you should be getting to fall for you."

Adrien's tail twitches.

He doesn't think they go too much farther, and he's a much better judge of distance than he is time. He'd always relied on the tug of the leash spell to tell him how far he'd gone before- and to tell him how much farther he _could_ go.

(And that had been... a much shorter distance than he'd thought.  He thinks, now, that the leash might actually have been getting gradually _shorter_.

And Marinette's balcony had already been at the end of his range.

He doesn't want to think about if she _hadn't_ decided to boost her spell that night).

Alya stops in the shadow of a wall shortly after, waving him after them so that they're both out of the way of any of the limited foot traffic. Adrien definitely doesn't want to find out what happens if some confused passerby's foot goes right through his illusion.

"Are you doing all right?" Alya asks, their voice low as they flick their eyes down towards him.  "Because we can still go back if you need to."

Adrien suppresses the urge to simply say yes, pushing himself to try to think about his answer instead.  He's- not okay, not really, he's still trembling more than a little and he _desperately_ doesn't want Alya out of his sight (and he feels terrible for thinking that way, because he knows exactly where 'I can't bear to let you out of my sight' leads and he wants nothing to do with it), but- he doesn't want to go back, either, not really.

He doesn't want to give up now, when they've already come this far.

He nods, slowly, and Alya abandons all pretense of looking elsewhere as they turn to look searchingly at him instead.

"If you're sure," they say at last, long after their scrutiny has made his tail start to lash in a way he tries hard to hide. "We're almost there.  He lives on the river, actually."

Adrien's been trying to ignore the way he can smell and hear the river much too close to them now, trying not to think about how deep and fast the water might be. 

He doesn't know how to swim.

He doesn't know if Alya would be able to find him again, in the water, in the dark, and he's probably staying too close to them still but he can't make himself move any further away.

"Alya?" Adrien says- whispers, really, because he doesn't want it to come out as a meow and give away to anyone who might be able to hear him that there's no real substance under Alya's illusion.

"We're almost there," Alya assures him again.  They step back to take a quick glance around. "And no one's close enough to see us. You wanna walk the rest of the way from up here? I can lift you up." They gesture at the wall, and Adrien blinks as he realises the stone wall is much lower than he'd assumed.

It would both put Alya between him and the river and put Adrien at eye-level with his friend.

When Alya looks down at him for his answer, Adrien nods and then braces himself as they gently scoop him up.

Alya's really only held him once before and Adrien hadn't been in a state to pay attention at the time, but they're just as gentle as Nino and Marinette have been. They even wait long enough to make sure Adrien's found his balance on the wall before letting go entirely.

Alya relaxes a little when Adrien's gotten all his paws under him and they can start walking again. "Felt really weird not to be looking at you when I was talking. Better?"

Adrien chirps an affirmative and then pauses with one paw still in the air. Slowly, he puts his paw down, but his ears flatten to his head and he keeps his eyes down as he creeps after Alya now.

They don't go much farther before Alya stops again. This time, they turn and cross their arms over the low stone wall, leaning on them, and if Adrien really concentrates on it he can tell that his own illusion is doing the same.

For the first time he thinks to look over at Alya's illusion, remembering that they'd made it sound like they planned on changing their appearance, too. He has to focus even harder to see it this time (seeing _through_ illusions might be getting easier with practice) but he doesn't think that Alya made very _many_ changes. Their hair looks darker and their eyes lighter, and their clothes are different, but there don't seem to be any other significant differences.

He wonders uneasily if they're putting too much of their energy into _his_ illusion instead.

"Adr- Ch- Noir," Alya says, and then looks frustrated. "We should really have worked that out first, huh. Does Noir work for now?" Once Adrien nods- he knows now why they wouldn't use his name where they can be heard, and it _would_ seem a little weird for their human friend to be called Chat Noir- Alya continues. "I'm not gonna think any less of you if you meow at me, okay? Or chirp. Or hiss. Or make any kind of cat sounds, Noir, those are the sounds you can _make_. You don't need to _stop_ yourself making them."

Adrien's gone very still. He's looking down at the stone wall beneath his paws, flexing and extending his claws and catching them on the rough stone.

The sounds he can make aren't _human_. They're an ever-present and humiliating reminder that _he_ isn't human. As much as his friends keep trying to reassure him that he is, it's still telling that he hasn't been able to leave their house without an illusion. If it weren't for Plagg and for Nino's Wildspeech they'd probably still think he was a cat- maybe not a very _good_ cat, as Plagg pointed out, but still a cat.

If it had been anyone else who'd found him they'd never have had any reason to assume otherwise.

If it had been anyone else- anyone else at _all_ , as far as he knows-

Adrien's not- afraid of healers, exactly.  He hasn't seen any that he can remember but he knows enough about them to know that they would probably try to help him, if they could. 

But he is _terrified_ of veterinarians. Even good ones- maybe especially good ones.  His mother used to tell him that someone with all the best intentions in the world would bring him to a vet if they caught him, and that Nathalie and the Gorilla might not be able to find him before they assumed he was a stray.  It's not-it's not an _unreasonable_ fear, even if it's an unkind one.  They wouldn't _mean_ to hurt him.  They'd be trying to help.

He'd been so scared for so long of anyone trying to help.

When Marinette's spell had hit him, he hadn't stopped long enough to _think_ before running.  If he'd let himself think about it first he might have been too frightened to run and he- he couldn't take that risk.  By the time he _had_ stopped to think he'd already found himself hiding amongst the stray cats, knowing it was risky but knowing that it was his best bet for _staying_ hidden _._

He hadn't been trying to tell anyone he was human, then.  He hadn't known that he could.

For the three days between running and Plagg finding him he might as well not have _been_ human at all.

Adrien's been quietly hoping this whole time that Alya's friend _is_ asleep because he doesn't understand how Alya is going to _explain_ him otherwise.

"Hey," Alya says.  "I can hear you overthinking again.  For someone so quiet you think really, really loudly."

Adrien shakes himself all over and looks up at them guiltily. 

He's still not happy that he's been letting himself meow and chirp and purr more and more frequently around his friends.  He wishes he could tell Alya why it's so upsetting, but he's not sure he'd be able to bring himself to say the words even if they _could_ understand him.

"Noir," Alya starts, reaching towards him slowly and giving him plenty of time to duck away. He thinks their illusion warps to rest a hand on his illusion's shoulder but they actually stroke very lightly down his spine for a moment before pulling away. "I mean it. Even if you don't believe me yet, I do mean it.  We _want_ you to talk more, however you can.  We'll listen.  We might not always understand, especially at first, but we'll _listen_."

Adrien has no way to explain that he does believe them. He does believe that Alya and the others _aren't_ going to be bothered by it if he meows or trills or growls, but _he's_ still unhappy about it. Father might have been angered more by the biting and the running, but Nathalie had expressed such irritation and sometimes even disgust if Adrien showed _any_ cat traits around her that he can't help but associate fear and shame with them even now. 

Never mind that he'd literally been a cat all those times and _couldn't_ have tried to speak up in any other way.

Mother hadn't seemed to mind if he meowed at her. But that had- that had stopped being reassuring, once he realised why, once he realised she was never going to listen to him.

(He feels a needle of guilt at thinking that even now. She's gone, and he should let it go, and he shouldn't think ill of the dead- and he thinks she _must_ be dead, if only because she'd never returned- but the way no one has ever acknowledged how badly her outright refusal to _listen_ to him had _hurt_ him still aches).

Alya sighs as Adrien twists under their hand without giving them a reply. "Yeah, I thought it'd take more than that. Just think about, okay? That's Luka's place up ahead, we're almost there." They wave at something that looms huge and dark in Adrien's vision.

He blinks. "Is that a boat?"

"His family lives on a boat," Alya says brightly, stepping forward with a brisk stride that slows as Adrien scrambles down from the wall to try and keep up. "Sorry! His light's on, too, looks like he's awake. So, ready to meet someone new?"

He's not, actually.

He's really, really not.

He... really _needs_ to meet more people.  He _wants_ to, too, he wants- he may have friends now, and even though it's been hardly any time at all he already thinks he might really love them in a way he never thought possible, but he always has wanted a chance to meet more people.  He's always wanted to know _any_ people his own age. 

But all of his dreams and fantasies had involved being _human_ when he met them.

"Noir." Alya steps back into the shadow of the wall, waving him after them, and he's not sure why until they drop to a crouch to look him in the eyes.  It's difficult for Adrien to meet their gaze but he does manage it.  "We don't have to.  I needed to get outside for a while more than anything, really, it isn't a big deal if we don't meet up with Luka tonight.  It isn't like he's expecting me.  That's specifically why I didn't call ahead- so we can change our minds."

Adrien is very much aware that Alya is saying _we_ when they mean _you_. Much as he appreciates their attempt to keep him from feeling selfish, he would still _be_ selfish if he said he wanted to turn back now, when their destination is right here.

Adrien turns his head towards the boat, and then back towards Alya, and then jerks his head towards the boat again.

"If you're sure," Alya says, slowly.  "But if you need us to leave quickly, let me know, okay?  Luka's known me long enough that he won't think anything is even odd if I just take off suddenly, not like I haven't done that before. But, uh- I was thinking about a couple things on the way here.  Are you okay with it if I tell Luka you can't talk?" Alya rests their hands on their knees, settling comfortably in a way that makes Adrien think that's likely not their only question for him.

He doesn't know what _else_ they could possibly tell Luka.  There's no way he isn't going to notice if Adrien starts meowing at him.

He nods at Alya, hastily retracting his claws when they scrape against stone.

"We'll do that, then.  I'm assuming we don't want him to know there's an illusion, or at least not _why_ there's an illusion, so is it alright if I say you don't like to be touched?" They look a little less comfortable asking him that question.

Adrien actually hadn't even _thought_ of that himself.  But- for one thing, any attempt to touch him is going to make it very obvious very quickly just how much of Alya's illusion _is_ an illusion. 

And for another, he really _doesn't_ think he wants a stranger touching him at all.  Marinette's family is different, he _knows_ them now, he knows that they aren't going to push his boundaries unless it's purely on accident- and that they have a better grasp of what his limits are than _he_ does, sometimes.  All Adrien knows about Luka is what he's learned secondhand from Alya in the past few hours.

After Adrien nods again, Alya rocks back on their heels, looking close to being ready to stand back up.  "Last question, then.  Is it okay if-" They hesitate.

Adrien doesn't meow, exactly, because he didn't put enough volume behind it to produce an actual sound, but it's enough to prod Alya into continuing.

"Just because- because it would go a long way towards explaining- a few things," they say slowly.  "Is it okay if I tell him you've been really, really sheltered until recently?"

Adrien's gaze drops to his paws and he scratches uncomfortably at the pavement.  Nothing in Alya's last question is anything but the truth, and it's nothing that Adrien himself ever had any control over, but he's still a lot more ashamed than he can say that he _has_ been this sheltered.

He's still learning new things constantly, about topics he's never even known existed, and he's aware now in a way he never was before of how very limited his world had actually been.  He knew there were physical limitations.  He hadn't realised how carefully controlled his access to _knowledge_ had been.

Alya looks around for a long moment before saying, far more quietly, "Adrien, I don't have to say that.  Luka's... he's not going to ask, all right? He was homeschooled himself.  His mom has the same domain, and our class didn't exist yet, so she taught him. I met him through his sister, Juleka ended up in our class with us.  She's a wild talent and her mom thought it would be better for her.  Seriously, Luka isn't going to think anything of it if we don't explain.  So- do we want to tell him you've had a really sheltered life?"

Adrien isn't as reassured by Alya's explanation as he thinks they were hoping for.  He _is_ reassured enough to be willing to shake his head no, though.

Alya and the others are already very much aware of how sheltered Adrien has been.  It would be a relief to be around someone who _doesn't_ know that.

Surprisingly, Alya only looks relieved.  "Got it.  We'll tell Luka that you don't talk, no touching, we'll let him fill in anything else for himself.  Time to go throw rocks at his window, then." They pause.  "Porthole, I guess, please don't ask me what's up with the boathouse because I do _not_ know.  I don't think _they_ know.  I think their mom may just be living out some kind of pirate fantasy, honestly."

Getting into the boat is more complicated than Adrien hoped. Initially Alya shows exactly zero signs of attempting to go through a main entrance, instead waving Adrien after them as they leap onto the side of the boat and cling to it.

Then they look back at him and wince.  "This... isn't gonna work, huh."

Adrien looks at the very obvious ramp leading to the deck, then back at Alya.

Alya sighs.  "Give me a minute."

They don't actually start throwing rocks, but they do knock on a window until it opens and a boy who doesn't look much older than them sticks his head out.  He looks deeply amused.  "Hey, Al.  Forget you have a phone again?"

"Wasn't sure if I was heading this way or not," Alya says, shrugging.  "Also, uh, I'm not alone." They gesture over at Adrien.

He's _pretty_ sure his illusion waves when he lifts a paw.

"This is my friend Noir.  He's staying with us for a while.  Neither of us could sleep and I figured you were probably awake..." Alya trails off.

Luka smiles and for the first time Adrien notices that he has deep, dark circles under his eyes, same as Alya.  "Yeah.  I'll trade you the usual illusion for the music?"

"Maybe not tonight, Noir's- not a huge fan of magic.  Also, he can't swim, any chance you can let us in the front?" Alya rubs at the back of their neck sheepishly.

That means they're only clinging to the side of the boat with one hand, which makes Adrien more than a little nervous.

More nervous than he already is, that is.  He's anxious enough about meeting Luka.  As badly as he wants friends, as much as he knows he needs to meet people other than just Marinette's family, actually doing so is nerve-wracking.

"Give me like five minutes?" Luka requests. "I don't wanna wake Juleka or Rose."

"Rose is here?" Alya looks oddly troubled by this, enough so that Adrien finds himself anxiously grooming his whiskers and has to force himself to stop. He doesn't know if that's something Alya's illusion has a way to translate, and it's difficult to concentrate enough to see an illusion cast on _himself_ , but he doesn't want to show an outward display of nerves if he can help it.

Luka raises an eyebrow at Alya.  "Hey, you just said Noir was staying 'with us,' and I'm pretty sure you didn't mean your parents and sisters. Or even Trixx, for that matter.  So how long _have_ you been at Marinette's place this time?"

"That's different," Alya protests.  "Nothing's wrong at home, it's just a lot calmer over with Marinette and Nino.  And their parents won't be home for at least another few days, you know they don't mind if I crash there while they're gone."

Luka raises his other eyebrow.  "It's calmer at _Marinette_ ' _s_? With all of you there? With _Plagg and Tikki_ there?"  He looks over at Adrien and grins at him.  It's a bit unnerving when he's actually looking so far above Adrien's head.  "Hey, Noir, if you ever wanna stay somewhere calmer for a bit Alya's got my number.  Really, they do, even it actually using it seems to be pretty low priority for them."

Alya rubs their forehead, again letting go of the side of the boat.  "Hey, no luring away my friends or family, we've discussed this.   Tikki's not home, anyway. So how long has Rose been here?"

Luka shrugs, leaning on the open window. "She's here most of the time, now.  Juleka still swears it's nothing but I'm pretty sure Rose hasn't gone home for the last few weeks, so there's _something_ going on.  Could just be a fairly minor fight between her parents again, though, you know Rose." 

Adrien has been assuming Marinette's family's apparent tendency to adopt others into it was a fluke, that it was part of taking the whole of Marinette's luck spell that had landed him with a family that _did_ have that tendency. 

It's beginning to sound like it _wasn't_ a fluke.

He's seized with a sudden painfully desperate wish that he could have _known_ that kind of freely offered familiarity was possible, that it's apparently common enough for him to encounter twice in such rapid succession.  He has to struggle to keep his breathing under control before he can look up at Alya again.

Alya, Adrien sees, has switched over to watching him again.  For some reason they look nearly as nervous as he feels. "Rose _is_ asleep? For sure?" they ask slowly.

Luka looks a little startled at the question, but then he glances at Adrien and something strange crosses his expression as he nods slowly.  "Yeah, her and Juleka both.  I think Mom's up, but you know she doesn't care so long as no one's on fire and no one's doing drugs."  He tilts his head with a sly smile.  "You're not doing drugs, right?"

Alya rolls their eyes.  "No, Luka, and we're not on fire either.  Can we come in now?"

Luka withdraws from the window with a last wave and Alya finally returns to dry ground.  Adrien only realizes how worried he was when they step back onto the ground and he relaxes.

Alya's glance at him is amused, but kind.  "Noir, even if I did fall, and I haven't in a long time now, I can swim.  You don't need to worry about me."  They tilt their head at him, grinning playfully, and then their smile falls as their eyes widen slightly.  "Oh.  _You_ can't swim, can you?"  

Heat prickles the back of his neck as he shakes his head, slowly.

"I should have thought of that, shit.  I'm sorry. Will you be okay on the boat?" Alya buries their hands in their pockets, looking at him while they wait for Luka.

On some level Adrien wishes they would stop giving him concerned looks and asking if he's okay, like he's fragile enough that they have to keep checking.

Mostly he's just relieved that they _do_ keep checking.

He nods at Alya, then huddles close to them as Luka opens a door and beckons them across the ramp, light spilling bright onto the deck in a way that makes Adrien want to hide again.

"Hey, it's all right," Alya says softly, letting him press close as they follow Luka inside.  "Luka's cool, I think you'll like him.  I know he'll like you."

Adrien's sure they're only saying that to make him feel better.

...it _does_ make him feel better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi luka _you werent supposed to be in this fic_


	14. when preparation meets opportunity

The houseboat is nice. It's larger than Adrien expects; still not _very_ large, his room might very well have been more spacious, but-

The houseboat rocks subtly on the river, letting him know with each passing moment that although they're moored now they can choose to leave and travel at any time. That they're not tied down to one place, not at all.

A powerful wave of jealousy rolls through Adrien as they follow Luka to his room and he does his best to swallow it back.

Luka waves them ahead of him. "Make yourselves at home.  I won't do any casting with it if you're not okay with it, Noir, but do you mind if I play guitar?" He smiles, and it transforms his whole face, making the dark circles under his eyes seem like nothing in comparison.

Distracted by that smile and too used to Nino talking to him the same way, Adrien starts to say he doesn't mind.

He stops.

Alya clears her throat apologetically.  "Uh, Noir doesn't really... talk."

Adrien studies his paws intently, subdued now. He'd actually managed to _forget_ , if only for a moment, that he can't talk.  Not really.  Not in a way that Luka will understand.  He's not even sure _why_ he thought that Luka would understand.

Luka blinks, but shows no other sign of surprise.  Instead he looks at Adrien and says, with what Adrien thinks is genuine curiosity, "Do you play an instrument?" He gestures at a guitar leaning against the wall.  "I know it's easier for me to talk with this.  Maybe that's all you need, Noir."

Adrien is still staring at his paws and he flinches at that.  He wishes he knew how much his own actions affect his illusion and how much is Alya's doing, because whatever Luka sees makes his expression soften immediately.

"When I meet people for the first time," Luka begins, "I can hear a song, just for them.  It's like- it's not always unique, but it's something about them.  Would you like to know what I hear from you?"

He's a little afraid of what he sounds like to Luka. What he- or rather the illusion Alya's sheltering him under- _looks_ like to Luka.

But Luka is still looking at him earnestly, and Adrien's only ever had this kind of attention and honest interest from his friends the past few days, and he doesn't want to say anything that might make Luka less inclined to like him. 

Adrien so badly wants Luka to like him.

He nods, and despite himself he doesn't expect the song that Luka plays immediately.  Adrien has studied classical music, but he's never heard this piece on guitar- he didn't know it could be _played_ on guitar, it's supposed to be an ensemble piece- and so it takes him some time to recognise Peter's part alone from Peter and the Wolf.

Alya makes themself comfortable leaning against the wall, on the floor across from what has to be Luka's bed, and anxiety draws Adrien after them to settle at their side.  He's still huddling closer to them than he'd prefer to under other circumstances, but Alya's presence is an anchor that he _needs_ right now.

Although Luka's music is proving to be something that keeps Adrien focused, as well. Luka is _good_ , fingers moving deftly over the strings in a way that stirs more than a little envy.  It's impossible to read Luka's expression with the way his head bows over his instrument and his hair falls across his face but Adrien wouldn't be surprised if he's slipped into the same kind of trance that Marinette had when she was casting earlier. 

Absently, he wonders what would happen if Marinette cast one of her more involved spells with Luka's help.

It's a relatively simple part of a larger work that Luka's playing, but it draws Adrien in and dampens his anxiety in a way few things have done so far.  His friends do all seem to have different ways to help him calm down, but they've at least known him for a few days and they have far more information than Luka does.

Adrien couldn't have said how long Luka spends playing if anyone asked him.  Time seems suspended, almost, while Luka's fingers sing across the guitar strings. When he does finally stop Adrien glances sideways at Alya, hoping they'll understand. 

Alya's already looking back at him with a much softer smile than usual.  "Enjoying yourself?"

Adrien nods, even though that doesn't feel like enough to express how _much_ he's enjoying himself. He's starting to relax, now that he's been in the room with Luka and Alya both for long enough to start believing that Luka _isn't_ going to demand to know why Alya's new friend can't talk or doesn't like to be touched.  He hasn't asked any kind of prying questions at all.

Adrien hadn't been entirely certain he knew _how_ to relax around anyone but his friends.  He has trouble even then.

A thought occurs to him and he looks sharply at Luka with the whisker-twitch he learned from Plagg, but the music is just music. There's no magic in it, Luka really _isn't_ casting.

Adrien relaxes a little more with the knowledge that his calm isn't spell-induced.

"Would you like to know what Alya sounds like?" Luka asks, clearly amused at whatever he sees in Adrien's demeanor.

Adrien nods, mesmerized.

Luka grins outright and then, strangely, sets his guitar down entirely.

He sits back, laces his hands behind his head, and continues to grin at Alya.

Adrien gets it before Alya does.  He tries to muffle his snicker, but from the raised eyebrow Alya sends his way he doesn't entirely succeed.

"Well, at least one of you gets the joke." Luka brings his arms down, leaning forward on the bed, and laughs a little.  "You still don't know a ton of classical music, do you, Al?"

"Hey," Alya says.  "Some of just prefer a different kind of classical.  Like rock."

Luka gestures wordlessly to a Jagged Stone poster on his wall.

Alya flops backwards, against the wall, and rolls their eyes towards the ceiling.  "Yes, all right, okay, care to enlighten we who are less refined in the room?"

"Noir recognised it," Luka reminds her, earning a groan.  He laughs again before relenting.  "Okay, okay, it's John Cage's four thirty-three- it's four minutes and thirty three seconds of silence."

Alya sits back up and points at him.  "You're making that up."

"Both of us?" Luka rejoins.  "Without ever having met before?

Alya looks at Adrien, forgetting to fix their gaze quite high enough this time. There's a slight frisson of fear that runs down Adrien's spine at that- Luka doesn't seem to have noticed anything odd, but he still _could_ \- but Alya's eyes flicker back up quickly as they demand, "Noir, _is_ that true?"

Whiskers twitching as he holds back another snicker, Adrien nods.

Shrugging, Luka says, "In Cage's defense, it's _meant_ to make you focus on the ambient noise all around you.  To just- be in the moment, experience it.  So, in a way, it actually does remind me of you."  He picks his guitar back up, apparently oblivious to the way Alya drops their gaze and rubs the back of their neck at that.  "But I can play something else.  Any requests?"

"I still don't know what you like," Alya says to Adrien, more than a little apologetically. "Sorry, I should have asked back when- back at home."

(Adrien's not sure if the way Alya consistently refers to Marinette and Nino's house as _home_ is for his benefit or Alya's own, but something in his chest glows warmer every time he hears it).

"You could write it down," Luka suggests, gently, and Adrien presses close to Alya's side as his heart rate picks up.  One of his claws catches uncomfortably against their jeans.  Adrien tugs it loose but not without leaving yet another hole behind, and when he realises he's put holes in Alya's clothes more than once today he's suddenly hot all over with shame.

When Adrien tugs his claws free they snag in the carpet instead. 

Alya sets their hand down next to him, where he thinks it's covering his illusory hand, and lets him press his head against their palm until he's not breathing quite so fast and shallow, until he can untangle his claws from the carpet strands.

They hadn't thought of Luka asking him to write something down.  How had they not thought of that? It's easy enough to claim Adrien's never learned sign; that's going to seem odd, but not odd enough to question too closely.  But he can't- he can't _write_.  He can't hold a pen, and his illusion isn't- isn't actually substantial, and Luka is going to _notice_ if he can't pick up a _pen_ -

And he doesn't _want_ Alya to say that he's illiterate. It's- it's technically true, or it might as well be, but he doesn't want to hear them _say_ it.

He doesn't know what other explanation they can possibly _give_ , though, and although Adrien had thought he was still relatively calm as soon as he lets himself think about that his breath starts to quicken again and his heart hammers painfully against his ribs. 

He doesn't know what shows through his illusion.  He doesn't know what Alya's doing, if they _are_ doing anything about what emotions he might be showing.  Adrien really hasn't asked enough questions about how Alya's illusions work at all- when he thinks about it, Marinette's cat illusion had transformed her actions without Alya nearby to assist, so Alya probably _isn't_ responsible for whatever expression Adrien has.

There's no mirror in Luka's room to show him and Adrien doubts he could focus on one anyway.  Whatever it is _Luka_ sees is enough for him to set his guitar aside and slide off his bed to kneel on the floor with Adrien and Alya. There's nothing but concern in his voice as he says, "Noir? You okay?"

Alya starts to say something.

Luka's bedroom door swings open with no warning whatsoever, fast enough to set off Adrien's already hair-trigger startle reflexes.

He flinches so hard he ends up cowering against Alya's side, nerves lighting up again, irrationally terrified that Nathalie has somehow found him. Alya's hand finds his side, resting against his fur without putting any pressure behind the contact.

Adrien knows exactly how hard he's shaking because he keeps bumping Alya's leg.

"It's okay," Alya says quietly, drawing close theirself as they look up at the doorway.  "Noir, this is Juleka, Luka's sister.  Juleka, this is Noir."

Juleka doesn't say anything for a moment, even as her brother twists around on his knees to look at her.  He doesn't seem upset at the sudden interruption, but he does say, "I thought you were asleep."

"I was," Juleka says, slowly.  Her hair falls in front of her face, concealing most of her expression.  "Rose just bolted up out of a sound sleep and I can't calm her down.  I was coming to ask for some help." She shifts her gaze slowly to where Alya's sitting with Adrien.  "But I guess it wasn't really her."

 _That_ gets Adrien's attention, even as it confuses him.

He doesn't get any time to think about it.  Someone else grabs the door from Juleka, wrenching it all the way open, and darts into the room with a strangled cry.  Like Luka, she hits the ground on her knees.

Unlike Luka, the first thing she does is try to throw her arms around Adrien.

Adrien nearly climbs Alya's side trying to get away, but it's too late.  The girl- Rose, she has to be Rose- has already gone straight through his illusion and Adrien _feels_ it crumbling away.

He doesn't know if that's normal.  He doesn't know if Alya's illusions don't usually hold up to being touched unexpectedly. That seems like something they'd have _told_ him, and he'd been able to jump into Marinette's lap before without either of their illusions dissipating, and Nino had definitely been in contact with Alya with this same illusion without it breaking. He _doesn't_ think it's supposed to happen.

Maybe it's because Rose startled them both, or because she essentially flung herself straight through the illusion.

Maybe Alya is doing some panicking of their own. Their hand against his side _is_ clenching and unclenching rhythmically, careful not to snag his fur.

Adrien becomes slowly aware that he's trying to make himself small, that all his fur is bristling, that his tail is lashing wildly and his ears are as flat as they can possibly go.  Not only can they all see that he's not human with the illusion stripped away, he's _reacting_ like a cat, and he can't make himself _stop_.

No one says anything and the spreading pool of silence only makes Adrien's anxiety spike further.

He scrambles behind Alya, who immediately moves to let him.  His tail isn't lashing any less furiously and his thoughts are so panicked and shaken that none of them are truly in words anymore.

Rose makes a wounded noise and reaches for him again.

Adrien backs away, even though there's nearly nowhere left to go.

"Noir," Alya says, strained, but they're turning to keep him hidden safely between themself and the wall.  They aren't leaving him where everyone can stare at him.

"Alya," Luka says.  "I know how much you like cats, but, uh, this is a bit-"

"He's not a cat!" Rose cries out, the first thing she's said since bursting in, and she sounds more than halfway to panic and almost as overwhelmed as Adrien feels.  "He's not a cat, Luka, and he's scared and you're _scaring_ him and oh, it's okay, really, I promise, I _promise_ it's okay.  No one is going to hurt you.  You're _safe_ , kitty- oh! Oh, you don't like that, sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, please calm down!"

Adrien can't keep up with Rose. He doesn't know what she's reacting to at all, much less how she can know what he's feeling so _accurately_ , because when he risks glancing up she's not even looking at him. She's flinching and shivering and staring at the floor, wringing her hands.

"Rose," Juleka says.  Just that, just Rose's name and nothing else.

Rose's attention snaps to her as if pulled there on a string. Juleka half-raises a hand and Rose darts to her, burrowing into her arms with a grateful sigh.

Juleka _had_ been watching Adrien, but she'd shifted her gaze to Alya as soon as Adrien tried to hide. Now she glances around again.  "If this is a private party, we can go."

"But-" Rose protests immediately, and Adrien's a little stunned when she turns in Juleka's hold and he can see that there are tears running down her face.  She whimpers slightly.  "But he's- but you're so _scared_."

"Rose, I don't think he's ever met an empath," Luka says suddenly.  Adrien had forgotten that Luka was still on the floor with them, too, but Luka doesn't move any closer now.  Luka hardly moves at all, in fact.

Adrien has no idea what an empath _is_.

"... _that's_ why you were asking about Rose earlier," Luka rubs the back of his neck with a wince.  "Alya, you could have just _said_ something.  We could have gone somewhere else."

"Ah... we kind of needed to be here, specifically?" Alya says awkwardly.  "It's... complicated, and not mine to tell, but we _really_ can't risk Noir being seen by anyone.  We thought- we thought the illusion would be safe here."

Rose opens her mouth and Juleka reaches up to cover it with one hand, rolling her eyes as Rose promptly licks her hand.

"Privacy," Juleka reminds her- Adrien _thinks_ from context clues that Rose might be her girlfriend, but he isn't sure if that's a rude assumption or not.  "Rose, privacy, invasion of."

"Noir?" Luka says, and then waits until Adrien tentatively pokes his head around Alya again. If Luka is at all bothered by talking to a cat, it doesn't show.  "Noir, Rose is an empath- she can feel other people's emotions.  It's a relatively common wild talent but hers is unusually strong.  I'm sorry, I never meant to scare you."

Alya lowers their head and drops their voice to a whisper.  "Hey, I don't know what you're comfortable with telling them.  Rose has had panic attacks before, though, Nino's first couple set her off too before any of us really understood what was going on.  She'll understand now."

Adrien tries to _stop_ panicking immediately, not wanting to be responsible for someone _else_ feeling the awful yawning pit of fear that threatens to swallow him whole.

It does not work even a little. If anything, he feels even more fear tugging on him, trying to sweep him under and into the kind of breakdown he won't come back from without help.

Movement catches his attention.  Luka's tugged his guitar back over to himself, and he glances up from under his bangs. "Like I said before, I make more sense with this.  If you don't mind that?"

When Adrien manages to nod, Luka starts to play again. It's much softer this time, and Adrien doesn't recognise the song. It could just be something his education hasn't covered- he's certainly finding new things he's never been taught every day as it is- but he doesn't think that's it.

He has the distinct sense this is something Luka might have composed himself.

Adrien isn't willing to come out from behind Alya just yet, but he does put his head down on his paws to just... listen.

He notices, with the stupid paranoid part of himself that can't _stop_ paying attention to anyone nearby, that Rose is visibly much calmer.  She's resting against Juleka, her eyes closed and her head tilted towards Luka, and eventually Juleka and Rose both sit down on the floor as well.

Another whisker-twitch confirms that there's still no magic entwined in Luka's music.

Luka's room isn't _that_ big, it's starting to get cramped, but not in a way that Adrien minds. The door is still open, and Alya is still shielding him, and he- he thinks he likes this, this being surrounded with people that are sitting quietly and just _existing_ together. 

He's thought more than once that maybe Marinette's family only treats him the way they do because of Plagg.

But Plagg isn't part of Luka's family, and Rose had still intervened so quickly to tell the others that Adrien's not a cat.  She'd even said it in those words, even though there's no Plagg or Nino here to confirm it. 

Maybe Adrien _doesn't_ have to distrust people. 

Maybe he never did.

He's not sure how long Luka plays for.  He doesn't end on the same song he started on, going through a few more that Adrien thinks are his own work before settling back into classical music.  Adrien's crept a lot further out from behind Alya by the time Luka starts to wind down again, although he's still close enough to dart back behind them if he needs to.

"So," Luka says at last, taking his hand away from his guitar strings and shaking it out for a moment.  He leans forward, cradling his guitar against his shoulder, and rests his hands on his knees. "It's nice to meet you properly, Noir."

Adrien can only look at him, tail twitching warily. He's too aware that his ears are pressed back again.

"Really," Luka assures him.  "Rose is family, and Alya's an old friend.  If you're worried that I don't believe them, don't be." The corners of his mouth curve up again.  "I mean, Alya might try to trick me, but Rose wouldn't go along with them, and Juleka isn't that convincing."

Juleka snorts.

Adrien looks over at her.  She's leaning against Luka's wall, next to the open door, and Rose is still curled up against her in a way that makes Adrien less ashamed of constantly climbing into his friend's laps.

"You're _not_ ," Luka says, laughing.  "I know you too well."

Juleka rolls her eyes.  "I could still trick you if I wanted.  So.  Now what?"

Alya reaches out, slowly, and rests their hand next to Adrien again.  "It's up to Noir, I think, but we probably shouldn't stay too much longer." They hesitate, before sighing.  "We shouldn't be out on the streets when there's too many people around."

Adrien's ears flicker.

Alya turns their hand over and reaches for him, waiting for Adrien to decide to press into their touch.

Luka looks between the two of them.  Adrien's sure he must have questions, but he only says, "Do you need help getting back?  Your place isn't exactly near the river, but we can get the ship closer than this."

"Huh." Alya tilts their head, in a way that reminds Adrien strongly of Plagg, and their eyes seem to glint.  Adrien realises he's not sure when Alya dropped their own illusion, if it was when they arrived or later.  Luka never reacted to it at all, but then he also seems to know Alya more than well enough to be used to their illusions.  Especially since they did say they usually show up as a fox. 

Maybe that's part of why Luka seems so unbothered by Adrien.

Adrien thinks it's more likely that it's part of who Luka _is_.  The guitarist radiates a sense of calm in a way that paradoxically makes Adrien nervous until he's certain that it _isn't_ magic, that it's just Luka's own quiet confidence that makes him feel that way.  Adrien is having trouble picturing much of anything upsetting Luka.

"I think we'll take you up on that offer, actually," Alya says at last. 

"Is that all right with you, too, Noir?" Luka asks him.  "I'll have to go get Mom but she won't mind. She'll be thrilled to have a reason to move- she loves any chance we get to sail."

Adrien, who didn't expect to be asked at all, starts a little.

"You don't have to come with us to ask," Juleka says suddenly.  She's just as direct as her brother, and she's looking straight at Adrien.  "If you don't want to, I mean."

Juleka is still holding Rose, who is still very quiet, her face turned into her girlfriend's shoulder. 

Adrien is uncomfortably aware that Rose is likely very, very well aware that even though Adrien might have calmed down considerably, he's still so _afraid_.

He's _always_ afraid and he's so sick and tired of _being_ afraid.

He just- he doesn't know how to _stop_.

"Noir?" Alya says gently.

Juleka untangles herself from Rose, carefully, and stands up.  "I'll go talk to Mom.  Knowing her, she's gonna get so caught up in a chance to take off she won't even ask why."

Juleka ducks out the door, leaving Alya, Adrien, Rose and Luka sitting in an uneven square.  All of them are quiet.

Adrien doesn't have a choice about staying quiet, but the others going silent as well leaves him very uneasy. He edges closer to Alya again, pressing so hard against the side of their leg that they actually reach down and start petting gently along his back. 

Adrien freezes up, because there are _other people_ _here_ , and Alya stops immediately.

"Remember, it's fine if something's okay one time and not another," Alya tells him, under their breath.  "All you have to do is let me- let _us_ know."

Luka leans even closer, setting his guitar aside entirely and propping his head on one hand.  "Hey, you don't have to tell us anything, anyone's entitled to their privacy, but it _would_ be nice to get to know you."

It would be nice to get to know them, too. Adrien had only barely been prepared to meet _one_ new person tonight, much less three, but- even now he doesn't regret it.  He _can't_ regret it. 

Not with the way they're accepting him right away, the way they so immediately took Rose and Alya's word that he's not a cat.  Adrien wouldn't have blamed them if they _didn't_ believe that.  It isn't like he has any way to prove it and he doesn't know them anywhere near well enough to know how much Alya's word means to them.

He's definitely overwhelmed now, though.  He appreciates Luka's interest.  He really does. 

But without a way to answer him, it only makes him shrink in on himself, more aware than ever that he still doesn't have a real way to communicate.  He can't bring Nino everywhere, after all.  Marinette and Alya might be learning to understand him better but they also have years of experience with Plagg to fall back on.

"It's okay." Rose moves again, for the first time since she'd lunged for Adrien before.

Adrien can't help the way he cringes away from her.  He doesn't _really_ think she's going to make such a sharp, sudden movement again, but it's an automatic response. 

Rose stops.

So do Luka and Alya, both of them holding very still.

Adrien feels even worse.

"It's okay," Rose says again.  Adrien looks up at her, and sees that she's blinking rapidly.  A moment later she wipes at her eyes.  "Noir, I know you're scared.  It's _okay_ to be scared.  Lots of people are, for lots of reasons." Amusement creeps into her voice, even though her she still sounds shaky.  "Our friend Mylene can't watch horror movies, you know.  Even bad ones.  We've tried and they keep her up all night."

"Which keeps _you_ up all night," Luka says dryly.  "Which keeps Juleka up, which keeps me up.  Between this ship and Alya and Noir here, we ought to start an insomniacs club."

Rose brightens so visibly Adrien almost expects to see a glow around her.  In fact he actually twitches his whiskers again to be sure it _isn't_ some other kind of magic he's never encountered before, but Rose just seems to be _that_ excited. 

"We totally should!" she cheers, so happily that it actually startles some of Adrien's fear away.  It's... hard to remain so frightened in the face of Rose's enthusiasm. "Insomniacs Anonymous, first meeting, start!"

"Rose." Alya drops their head into their hands with a theatrical groan, although they lift their head again only moments later.  "This is the opposite of anonymous.  Most of us have known each other for years.  We've both got family right here!"

Adrien doesn't _mean_ to purr. He never does.  He definitely doesn't expect to this time, not when the strongest urge in him right now is still to make himself stay small and hidden and out of sight, but it comes rumbling out of him in a pleased wave anyway.  It might be the loudest he's purred yet, and a moment later Adrien is fleeing to press himself between Alya and the wall again. 

He didn't- want to do that.  He doesn't want to keep _doing_ this, to keep reacting like a cat and not a human in front of people he's just met.  Plagg can control when and if he purrs, and Adrien can't, and that won't stop hurting for a long time- if it ever does.

But Alya's already claiming him as family. In front of those people that he's just met, who Alya has known for years.

And Rose isn't disagreeing that she's a part of Luka's family even though she isn't technically, the way Adrien's always understood it.  Alya's claiming _him_ , even though they've only known him a few days, even though they've spent all those days with Marinette and Plagg and Nino and not Alya's actual family.

All his life Adrien's thought that family was defined by blood. He's his father's son, he's been told repeatedly, and that means he owes his loyalty to his family first and foremost.  Blood is important, they've always insisted.

(But Father has never denied that Nathalie is, somehow, family, and _she_ certainly isn't related by blood.  By the time Adrien had thought to wonder about that, he'd also learned what kind of questions never to ask.  That was- _definitely_ one of them).

"Not the point," Rose insists, drawing Adrien's attention back to her.  "We can always change the name.  But we should totally meet up! And start a group chat for when we can't meet in person! And-"

Luka clears his throat, just when Adrien's spirits start to fall at the mention of a group chat. "Rose, it's a good idea.  But why don't we set up that chat later and use it to figure out the rest? Right now, I think we'd better focus on getting Alya and Noir closer to home." He nods out the porthole, bringing the slowly lightening sky to everyone's attention.

Juleka doesn't come back down before the motor rumbles awake and the boat begins to grind into motion.  Adrien cowers at first, completely unfamiliar with all the sudden loud mechanical noises, and this time when Alya moves hesitantly to pet him it _is_ soothing.  He doesn't pull away this time, he presses into their hands and bites back the whine he wants to let out. 

Rose reaches out like she'd like to pet him, too, but pulls back so fast that Adrien's thrown back to Alya teasing him about thinking so loud.  He wonders if there's more truth to that than he thought.

He's not too sure he likes the idea of spending too much time with an empath.

Juleka's returned by the time Adrien works out that the boat is making a wide turn to sail in the opposite direction from the one they'd been facing.

"We can get you closer, but you're still gonna have a bit of a walk," she reports.  "Do you want any of us to come with you?"

Adrien's curiosity and sudden wistful hope must be stronger than his fear at that, at least momentarily, because Rose brightens up and laughs.  "We can all come if you want, Noir.  We might wake up the rest of your family, though."

Rose looks pleased with herself only a moment later, and Adrien can guess why.

The bolt of surprised happiness that shot through him at having someone refer to his friends as his family out loud must have rung out so clearly to her.

For that emotion, though, he doesn't mind that.  He's too busy turning that thought over in his head to care about anything but that people he's only known for a few hours at the most would count him as part of Alya's family so quickly. 

He could listen to Rose calling Plagg and the others his family all night and never get tired of it.

(There's guilt mixed up in there, too, because he already had a family before stumbling into this one, but-

But he wants to _stay_ with this one.  He still feels that guilt, but it's nowhere near as strongly as he feels the yearning to be a part of _this_ family, with people who are willing to talk to and trust him and who don't seem to believe in locks or closed doors).

"Noir? I haven't seen the others with you, so I can't tell you much.  But-" Rose looks at Alya, now, and holds their gaze for a long moment, and then turns back to Adrien when Alya nods.  "But Alya loves you.  And I bet Marinette and Nino do, too.  And Plagg as well, no matter how grumpy he acts, and the rest of Nino and Marinette's parents are gonna love you too.  You're very easy to love, Noir."

Adrien doubts he could find the words to respond to that even if he _were_ human.  That warm glow he's discovered deep in his chest burns brighter, and he finds himself sitting up straighter as his ears prick up. 

He's purring louder again, too, and that seems to answer Rose to her satisfaction. 

Juleka leans against the doorframe, locking her legs to keep her balance as the boat continues downstream (upstream? Adrien isn't very sure how that works).  "Cool, but have we figured out who's going with them yet?"

"I'll go," Luka volunteers, standing up and slinging his guitar across his back.  He gives Alya and Adrien another of the soft smiles that makes Adrien feel strange.  It's a little like the way he feels when he's sleeping next to Marinette, but not quite awake enough yet to feel embarrassed over it. It doesn't- feel _exactly_ like that, though.

"You said you shouldn't be seen, right?" Luka continues. "So a different number of people on the way back should help confuse things." He looks over at Rose and Juleka.  "Besides, I do owe Alya a spell, and you did say that Noir is uncomfortable around unfamiliar magic." 

"Do you both want to come too?" Alya offers.  "We, uh, kind of knew this wasn't a great idea from the start but I _maybe_ didn't really think through getting back.  As long as Noir's okay with it, that is," they add, turning back to him.

Still almost vibrating with the purr that thrums through him, Adrien nods vigorously.  He would _love_ for all of them to come with him.  He doesn't know how he'd feel about being in the same room with all of them _and_ all of his- his _family_ just yet, not when that's still such a large group of people to him, but for the first time he thinks he'd be willing to find out.

Rose, halfway through accepting Juleka's hand up, freezes.

Adrien looks at her, making himself meet her eyes even though too much of him cries out _not_ to. 

He's always thought it was the cat in him that doesn't want to look people in the eye, anyway, and he's _not_ a cat.

(This is the _second_ group of people that has figured that out right away, so there _has_ to be some truth to it, right?)

Rose wipes at her eyes again, but she's smiling.  "Oh, that's- you love them so much, too. It's so- you're really, really bright.  Like a- like a firebird."

Adrien can't keep looking at her eyes, not matter how much he tries to force himself to, but dropping his gaze when he does means he catches the way Juleka and Luka's eyebrows fly up.

Alya is behind him, so he doesn't see their reaction.  A moment later, though, when they move closer to let his illusion fall over him again (and it is getting gradually easier for Adrien to think of the illusion as _his_ ), they whisper under their breath.  "Hey, Noir? That's not something Rose says to just anyone.  I've never been totally sure what she means when she calls someone bright, but I know there's only been like three other people she refers to that way.  And Juleka and Marinette are two of them."

They must be a little louder than they realise.  Luka, closest to them, says softly, "Alya, she calls you fire, too." His lips twitch.  "Though it was more about the ashes, I think.  Something about stubborn embers."

Adrien thinks that _stubborn embers_ is actually a good way to describe Alya- a quiet burning just below the surface, something undetectable until it flares back up into heat and light.  He definitely agrees about _bright_ for Marinette.

(He likes that _he_ feels like Marinette does to Rose).

He does wonder if there's a _reason_ Rose is connecting them all to fire.  Adrien's- not too sure he likes that connotation, even if he definitely feels a thrill at the _connection_.

He wishes he could ask what Nino and Plagg feel like to her.

He's more than all right just knowing this, though.  He's going to treasure that memory of the first empath he's ever met telling him that he's _bright_ , he's going to keep that memory close where he can take it out and look at it whenever he's beginning to feel overwhelmed again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...everyone who guessed rose is an empath can go ahead and high five each other now?


	15. rarer than a white crow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huge thanks to my beta, shinobicyrus!

It's more and more difficult for Adrien to see Alya's illusions when they keep them subtle, but he does notice when they raise their own again.  There's a few minutes of confusion while they try to work out whether or not anyone else should have an illusion, because they _do_ have a connection to Alya, but eventually they decide that's probably overkill.

Juleka shrugs a little when Rose brings it up.  "Someone'd have to work their way through the entire class if they were trying to find Alya through us, and _that's_ not going to go well for them.  Even if they don't run into a problem as soon as they get to Chloe or Sabrina, most of us aren't very easy to find thanks to Max." She gestures at the boat around them.  "This is the most visible of any of us and, you know, we can just leave."

There's a pang that goes through Adrien at that.

Rose looks sharply at him, but she doesn't say anything, which he's grateful for.  She can't know why he'd react like that, and even if he could explain it's not something that he _wants_ to explain.

There's enough jostling on their way out the door and down the gangplank that Adrien butts his head against Alya's shin and looks up at them, hoping either they or Rose can tell that this time he _wants_ them to pick him up.

Rose does make a soft noise, but by then Alya's already crouching so that Adrien can leap into their arms.  When he does, tail flicking and ears still upright in a way he's not normally confident enough to show,  there's another muffled sound from Rose as Alya straightens up with him.

Adrien's illusion shifts so that it looks like he's standing beside Alya. He didn't know that they could do that.

Alya looks at Adrien- and they do look at _him_ , not at their illusion- then looks back at Rose.  "What is it?"

" _Rose_ ," Juleka says before her girlfriend can reply.

Rose blows out a breath.  "It's not mine to say," she says, and the words have a weird tone to them, like it's something Rose has been taught to say instead of something she _wants_ to say.  It gives Adrien an uneasy feeling that he immediately sees reflected in Rose's own expression.

 "You didn't like me saying that," Rose says softly, to Adrien rather than to Alya.

Luka steps up and puts a hand on Rose's shoulder.  He's looking towards Adrien with concern, too.  "Noir?  Did someone..." He hesitates.

Alya's arms tighten around Adrien, very slightly.  They relax a moment later, long before Adrien has time to feel uncomfortable, but there's a new tension in their body that definitely wasn't there a minute ago.

Luka's eyes flicker between them both and he shakes his head.  "Never mind... but if there's ever anything you _want_ to tell us, we'll listen.  Any of us, and I'm sure the rest of your family will, too."

Another bright bolt goes through Adrien and Rose sighs in what sounds like relief. It's dimmer than the light Adrien felt before, dampened by the lurking knowledge that he's not going to be telling his new friends much of anything without an intermediary, but even that lingering sadness is glowing with the warmth of _having_ new friends. 

And it's becoming clear to him that Rose, at least, _does_ understand him.  For all that it's a strange one-way method of communication and he's still not sure he likes it, it does _mean_ something that Rose is reacting to his emotions so easily.  That she can't just ignore him. 

He'd lost track of all the times he'd _tried_ to tell his parents how he felt.  There was no way to make them listen.

...Rose had woken up in the middle of the night in reaction to _Adrien's_ fear, because she _can't_ ignore him.  Because that's part of who she _is_.

Adrien still doesn't entirely know how he feels about- about any of this, but he winces when he realises the guilt that lances through him at that thought is probably just as clear to Rose as everything else has been.

Juleka clears her throat and casts a pointed glance up at the slowly lightening sky.  "Guys? We should go."

At least it's a shorter walk back, now.  The city is even more full of unfamiliar sounds and scents than before, and because he's letting Alya carry him this time Adrien is free to swivel his ears towards every new sound and try to pinpoint it and to try to identify each new smell.  Rose and Juleka have taken up positions on either side of Alya, Luka is behind them whistling different tunes experimentally and occasionally joining in Alya and Rose's quiet conversation, and that means Adrien feels about as secure as he ever has outside the walls of Marinette's home.

 _His_ home.  He's not- sure if he can call it that, yet, he's not sure if he's really earned the right, but he _wants_ to.  It still does feel like betraying his father and Nathalie, but-

But Plagg is teaching him so much.

Nino hasn't complained once about all the translating he's had to do for Adrien.

Alya took him out to meet their friends, and they've been so careful to keep him safe and hidden even though Adrien's never even told them _why_.

And Marinette has already drafted a contract, and she's so insistent that she wants him to know _exactly_ what it means before he agrees to anything-

Adrien is still adjusting to his friend's willingness to explain new concepts and ideas to him. It's hard to believe that he's not- bothering them, or that they aren't just humouring him; that they really do just want to help.

That's not even touching on the way they're trying to weave a spell together to give him as human an appearance as possible. 

He hadn't asked them to do that, he hadn't known they _could_ do that, and they'd come up with the idea and the offer so quickly.

Adrien's never wanted to go back to the mansion.  From the moment he'd run, even after he realised it meant he could never change back, he's _never_ wanted to go back. 

Even with his father and Nathalie there the mansion never felt like home the way that his friend's house does.  He would trade every one of his days studying alone in his room, trapped and restless, for a single minute curled in Marinette's lap playing video games or helping Nino in the kitchen or just listening to Plagg and Alya tease each other.

He's still more than a little worried about what's going to happen when Marinette and Nino's parents come home.

But he doesn't think they'd make him leave, _and_ he doesn't think his friends would let them.  If nothing else, Plagg would help him. 

Marinette and Nino have never once seemed worried about their parents coming home, though, and Adrien thinks he hazily remembers Marinette calling her mother and explaining- at least a little of what's going on. 

And he can't imagine anyone who raised Marinette and Nino isn't just as amazing as they are.

He doesn't realise how much he's gotten caught up in his own thoughts instead of the sight of the city until Rose lets out an explosive breath and leans into Alya hard, nearly making them stumble.

"Really, Rose?" Alya asks, amused.

Adrien looks up in time to see Rose make a face.  She turns and looks in Adrien's direction instead of at Alya.  "I'm sorry, it's just that you _feel_ so strongly.  It's not a bad thing!" She hurries to assure him even as Adrien's ears go flat and his tail starts to lash. "It's not, I don't mind, Nino feels like that too. And Marinette, sometimes.  And Ivan when he's with Mylene and- Noir, it's not a bad thing!"

Adrien starts to answer her, straining to get the words out when he knows, he _knows_ , that it isn't his _words_ that she's going to respond to anyway, but then he sees something that drops him from his returning anxiety straight into unbridled _panic_.

There's a car behind them.

There's a car behind them, and he recognises it.

The windows are tinted so he can't actually confirm but- but he's _sure_ it's Nathalie.  He's sure it's the same car, the one that they always use, the one he's scrambled out of so many times that he knows that if she gets him into the car she'll also get him into his carrier and then she's going to take him _away_ -

Rose has stopped walking, all the blood draining from her face.  She whimpers, a horribly pained sound, and Juleka gives her a sharp glance and takes a half-step back to tap Luka on the shoulder.

Whatever Juleka is trying to signal is lost to Adrien but Luka clearly grasps it right away.  He looks between Alya and Juleka first, then between Rose and the car cruising past.  He _doesn't_ look at Adrien, and Adrien almost doesn't remember through the hazy fear of getting taken away from his friends that Luka _can't_ look at him, that Alya's illusions still present a barrier to most people that they don't to Adrien.    

Luka swings his guitar off his back and begins to play, right where they are in the middle of the sidewalk, and Adrien is struggling to remember how to breathe already and now Luka's going to draw _attention_ to them all and Adrien _trusted_ him.

Alya's arms wrap around him more securely, pressing him close enough to hear their heartbeat, which is faster than usual but nowhere near Adrien's own hummingbird-rapid thrum. 

He fights the urge to hide his head in Alya's arms, reminding himself harshly that he isn't even _visible_ right now, that his own illusion is still walking with his friends.

He's glad he kept his head up when he sees that Juleka's discreet hand gesture sparks a momentary pink glimmer in the air in front of her.

Luka's music- the _magic_ that he finally feels in Luka's music, the magic Adrien can taste in the air and doesn't _like_ even though it only feels like mint and ocean spray and not at all like the magic from the mansion that Adrien would be feeling in his bones- hits Juleka's pink shimmer and somehow bounces off of it.

From the alleyway across the street a loud argument erupts.  If Adrien strains, he can hear the musical notes that underlay the shouting voices, but Luka's toned the melody down enough that it _could_ be two people shouting at each other instead.  There's a furious undercurrent to the words that Adrien is abruptly certain Luka deliberately chose the song for.

"You're a loser, an abomination in the eyes of any sensible man!" The first voice shouts loud enough to flatten Adrien's ears again.

"And you're a blind alley cruiser, always heading down a losing street, dreaming that you're screaming at fate!" is the ringing retort. "You're a dead-end deadbeat nowhere mister with a kisser like a Mississippi alligator's sister-"

There's a lot more than that, but Adrien doesn't hear the rest of it.  Luka's magic is still stinging his whiskers even as Alya shifts him slightly to free an arm and Juleka brings up her glittering shield again, and this time it's Alya's illusions that reflect off of it.

Adrien watches with wide eyes as perfect copies of Luka and Rose head back the way they came, and a second illusion of Alya and Juleka and a copy of his own illusion make a sharp turn and head down a separate alley, and their real group is already moving to get out of sight.

Luka ducks around everyone else and takes the lead, waving everyone after him with one hand while he still grips his guitar.  There's sweat beading on his brow and Adrien can still faintly hear the musical argument that he'd- that he'd _thrown_ , somehow?

He doesn't think Luka _did_ throw it.  It looked more like Juleka threw Luka and Alya's magic _for_ them.

He doesn't really understand that he's still panicking until he sees how hard Rose is crying. 

"Chat Noir," Alya's saying, whispering, sounding- not as distressed as Rose, but that might only be because Adrien is distantly frightened that he might be catching Rose in some kind of feedback loop.  "Noir, hey, it's all right- was that car- _was_ that someone you know?"

Despair at not being able to _explain_ twines through the panic, crushing him and Rose both in the time it takes for Luka to turn back and say urgently, "Noir, yes? Or no? Was it someone you know?"

The actual answer is more _maybe_ , but Adrien is shivering so hard that he's knocking against a necklace he's never even noticed Alya wearing with every breath he takes.  Rose isn't doing well, either, struggling to keep up while she's sobbing silently, and Adrien feels terrible for doing that to her on top of the panic he can't stop, and he knows that Rose is _also_ feeling his shame and guilt.

He doesn't know if this is something Plagg's wards can help with, but he wants back under them either way.

He almost forgets to nod.

He sees Juleka's eyes go strangely flinty as she pulls Rose to her, hugging her tight to her side even as Luka gently herds everyone towards a fire escape.  The others hang back just enough to let Alya and Adrien up first and then follow too quickly for Adrien's fear to grow any worse.  The fire escape takes them all the way onto a roof.  That roof connects to another roof, which connects to another, which drops down to someone's private garden that Juleka and Luka both sneeze all the way through.

Adrien doesn't think he could repeat the path they take back if he was asked. 

He also thinks, with so much relief it throws itself into his panic like cold water into flame, that there's no way Nathalie could ever _follow_ the path they take.  She's proven before that she has no qualms about catching Adrien on foot but chasing an unfamiliar group of teenagers as they trespass over rooftops seems beyond her, even to please his father.

If it even was Nathalie.  Adrien's beginning to doubt himself.  It _looked_ like the car, but- there have to be other cars that look like that in Paris.  There _have_ to be.

But even if it was Nathalie wouldn't come up onto the rooftops after him. The Gorilla rarely leaves the car to chase him, and Father never bothers to come with to catch him at all, so _none_ of them are likely to follow- assuming it was ever even any of them in the first place.

By the time they reach Marinette's balcony Adrien is only breathing somewhat shakily.  His heart's no longer trying to pound out of his chest. 

Rose is still crying, though, and he doesn't know why.

Whatever it is Plagg did to the wards, Alya and Adrien get through them without trouble, but Alya has to physically pull each of their friends onto the balcony after them for the shields to allow them in.  That calms Adrien down a little more, too, especially when he's had more than enough proof tonight that none of the wards are meant to _keep_ any of them in.

Then Marinette flings her window open sharply enough that Adrien cringes back into Alya and he discovers he hasn't actually stopped shaking at all.

Marinette takes one look at him and her eyes soften.  She flicks her gaze all around the balcony, taking in the rest of their little group with furrowed eyebrows, but all she says is, "Everyone inside."

Luka doesn't hesitate to duck through her window, stepping down the ladder from her bed quickly so that Alya can follow.

Alya pauses on the ladder, though, when Juleka says, "I'd better take Rose home."

Adrien looks up.

Rose is taking deep, gulping breaths, and there are still tear tracks on her face, but she isn't actively crying anymore.  Relief presses in on Adrien, but it's dulled against the panic that still rattles through him. 

He's thinking clearly enough by now to realise that Juleka has a _very good_ reason to want to get Rose far, far away from him, and the relief twists rapidly into yawning guilt and yet more panic, and Juleka shakes her head sharply and hauls on Rose's elbow to get her to turn back towards the edge of the roof.

Adrien doesn't reach a paw after them consciously.  He doesn't even realise he's doing it until his claws catch against the flannel of Alya's shirt.

They don't say anything about it, but he doesn't think he's imagining that their grip on him is tighter as Rose and Juleka take off back the way they came.  Rose waves, once, and then they're out of sight as Marinette drops down through the window and onto her bed at last.

Adrien reaches for her, too, and this time Alya shifts so that he can crawl onto the bed.  Adrien darts to Marinette's side as soon as he can, pressing hard against her and trying not to think too hard about just _how_ badly he wants to be in her arms.

"It's okay if I pick you up?" Marinette asks quietly, and it takes Adrien longer than it should to realise she's waiting for a response. 

He's not sure that he can manage one.

He ends up pawing at her jeans in distress, and Marinette takes a sharp breath. She doesn't look away from him as she says, "Can one of you go get Nino? He's by the front door with Plagg."

"I'll go," Luka says, quietly.  He sets his guitar down, leaning it against the chaise lounge and then vanishing through the trapdoor.

Marinette holds one hand out to Adrien, holding very still until Adrien takes a shaky breath of his own and pushes his head into her hand. 

She breathes what he thinks is a sigh of relief. "Adrien, it's okay.  What happened?" She glances between him and Alya as she says that.

Alya hoists themself far enough up the ladder to talk to them both comfortably and shakes their head.  "Nothing that was supposed to.  Neither one of us could sleep, so I asked if he wanted to come with me to visit Luka, or at least for a walk." They glance down, rubbing the back of their neck. "We, uh, both kinda knew it was a bad idea, but..." They wince.  "I mean, I know _I_ needed to get out, I thought that maybe Adrien did too.  Right?"

Adrien startles, not expecting Alya to address him.

"Oh," Marinette says softly. "Hey, it's okay, I'm not angry at you- at either of you," she amends, with a darting glance at Alya. 

"Just disappointed?" Alya says dryly, folding their elbows on Marinette's bed and leaning their full weight against the ladder.  The bed creaks, a little ominously, but they ignore it.

" _No_ , not disappointed.  Very funny, Alya." Marinette curls her arm around Adrien in a gesture that he thinks is supposed to encourage him to move closer. 

Still more than a little stunned and hurt from both their close call and his sudden _new_ fear that she might really _be_ angry with him, he scrambles into her lap with a pained whimper that hurts even as it hisses out between his teeth.

"I'm not angry _or_ disappointed," Marinette repeats, reaching out to run a hand down Adrien's back in a long, soothing stroke.

It's only her and Alya here. Adrien closes his eyes and arches into her touch, clenching his jaw shut on- on _any_ noise trying to escape him at the moment.

Marinette shifts, wrapping one arm around him gently and then pulling her blanket around her lap and around Adrien with her free hand. Alya's discarded flannel, still tangled up in the bedding, comes with and- and it's especially stupid because Alya is _right here_ , but Adrien takes a deep breath and lets the scent of his friends settle him.

"I wasn't angry, we were all _worried_." Marinette keeps petting Adrien, even through the blanket.  "Alya, your note was pretty vague, and we didn't know how long you'd be gone.  And Plagg was-"

She hesitates.

"What?" Alya says, and there are harmonics in their voice that Adrien has never heard before.

Marinette swallows, but she raises her head and looks Alya in the eyes before turning her attention back to Adrien.  "Adrien, we know someone was trying to find you before.  They haven't stopped, have they?"

He burrows into the cloth she's pulled close around him and doesn't answer.

Alya hisses sharply enough that Adrien flinches.  "I'm sorry, Adrien, I _was_ stupid.  I knew there was someone after you, I just- I really didn't think this through." They run a hand through their hair.  "I knew it was dangerous, I just- thought- I _didn't_ think, I guess."

"No, they just thought it was worth the risk." Plagg strolls into the room with Nino and Luka right behind him.  The older cat looks around, looks disgruntled at finding Alya in the way, and makes his way to the window to jump from the floor to the sill to the bed.

Adrien cringes closer to Marinette as Plagg pads over to them.  Plagg's tail whips once before he leaps onto Marinette's lap as well, settling against Adrien with a growl that turns into a purr when Adrien shivers. 

Marinette is staring at Plagg, her eyes wide, and Adrien doesn't think this is normal behaviour for the other cat. 

Plagg nudges him with his head, gently, before starting to groom him. "Kid, it'd be just as wrong for _us_ to keep you here as it is for _anyone_ to try and do that to you.  You can go where you want.  Alya certainly does, they only wanted to let _you_ know that it's okay, too.  None of us would ever _make_ you stay here if you don't want to."

Adrien finally finds his voice again, for the first time in what feels like hours.  It might have _been_ hours, he really doesn't know.  He's not sure how long ago he left with Alya, and he's suddenly not sure if he's spoken at all in all that time anyway, and even though he's not really _speaking_ when he talks to Plagg he still sounds- hoarse, somehow. "But I- but I did want-"

He stops, no longer sure what question he's even trying to answer.

Plagg nudges him again.  "Kid, that's the _point_ , it's up to whether or not you _want_ to."

Below them, Nino quietly clears his throat.  "Adr-Noir? Can you tell us what happened?"

Adrien ducks his head, pawing in agitation at Marinette's blanket.  "Not- not really.  I just- thought I saw- it's nothing."

Nino comes closer, leaning against the ladder and bracing himself against Alya's side.  "Luka said you seemed fine, before- before something scared you."

Adrien doesn't know that he would have ever described the way he was feeling as _fine_ , but he can see that Luka might think so.  "It's- I was being stupid.  It wasn't- it wasn't her.  It probably wasn't her."

"Her?" Nino asks sharply.

Luka, still hanging back by the door rather than intruding, blinks.  "So you _did_ recognise someone."

There's really no reason not to tell them _now_. "No, I- I just saw the car, that she usually- brings me- back in.  It's just a- it's just a car." He's aware that he sounds a little frantic repeating that.

Plagg shrugs, a feline translation of the human gesture that Adrien still can't seem to manage. "Don't think it matters if it was or not, kid, what matters is it scared you."

"But it shouldn't have," Adrien says, beginning to find that the words are coming more easily now.  "It's a car.  It's just a _car._   It probably wasn't even her." He's going from frantic to desperate by now.

"I should go," Luka says, quietly, but his voice seems to cut across the room.  "I'm sorry for all this.  Please, any of you-" He looks straight at either Marinette or Adrien as he says that.  Since they're huddled together still, it's hard to tell.  "If any of you need me, for any reason, don't hesitate to call.  Alya, I still owe you that spell."

"You sure do, pretty boy," Alya says, but weakly, an automatic jab that falls flat.

Luka rolls his eyes and salutes them and ducks back out through the trapdoor.  Alya follows him after a worried look back at everyone else.

Marinette runs a careful hand over Adrien's head, smoothing down his fur and scratching lightly behind his ears when he leans into her touch. "Adrien... I'll get that construct finished by the end of today, okay? I think... I think we _really_ need to involve the police.  I know you don't want to, but- but you deserve to be able to at least go for a _walk_ at night."

He's never had that freedom, and if he's honest he never really expected to, but all Adrien can summon up about it by now is a dull despair.

He still doesn't want to go to the police.  He still doesn't think they'll help. Assuming that they even believe his friends in the first place, Adrien doesn't know that anything that's happened to him is _really_ illegal.  He knows that Plagg and Nino both insist it was, but maybe- maybe his father didn't know that, or maybe there are different laws that apply to his situation.  Or maybe-

"Might not be in the best place to think about that right now, huh, kid," Plagg says, surprisingly gently, and purrs again. 

Marinette sighs.  "And I bet you're exhausted.  Hey, I- if I stay in here and cast, will you be okay? I really do want to get this to work today, but I don't really want to leave you alone, either."

Adrien surprises himself by wishing that Rose hadn't left after all.  His feelings are too complicated to sort through on his own right now.  He desperately doesn't want Marinette to leave him alone, but he also doesn't want to be around even her magic when he's still so shaken, and he _can't_ tell her not to do something that she not only obviously wants to do but that's to _help_ him.

"And _I'm_ not sure I want to leave you and Alya alone with each other right now," Nino says, a little dryly.  "But you can come and hang out with me and Alya." There's something oddly amused in his voice as he adds, "And Luka."

Marinette looks up and raises an eyebrow.  She sounds almost defensive as she says, "I thought Luka left."

Nino rolls his eyes.  "And I think he's stalling at the front door, because that is what he does _every_ time he's here, Marinette.  Even if he didn't, he said he let Juleka reflect one of his songs all the way across a street, and dude, you _know_ how much that tires him out.  I'm gonna go ask if he wants to stay for a while, are any of you coming with or not?"

Plagg stands up and stretches before sauntering over to the ladder. "If only to make Alya remember that they both need to _eat_ , yeah."

Adrien's curiosity stirs.  It's not stronger than his fading fear by very much, but it _is_ stronger.  Quietly, he says, "Reflect?"

Plagg stops.  He turns back towards Adrien. "Yeah, kid.  That's Juleka's wild talent.  She can reflect other people's magic.  Most people with it just use it as a shield, but- well.  The kid's class learned to cast a little- differently than most people."

"We cast a lot of tandem spells, he means." Nino clears his throat.  "They aren't something people usually learn, partly 'cause it's more usual to only learn them with your witch or familiar and people can get kinda weird about it? But mostly because it's still common practice to split kids up by domain.  Since we _weren't_ , and we were together pretty young, we can all combine spells in a way most people are never taught.  It's why we thought of using a group spell at all.  And like, Luka wasn't actually in our class, but Rose and Juleka both were.  People think of group spells as _needing_ contracts but they're different things, dude."

Adrien blinks as he considers that.  It's not something _he_ would have thought of.  He was too panicked to pay too much attention at the time, but- the way Rose's reaction had turned into tagging Juleka, who'd tagged Luka, who'd bounced his song off his sister's mirror before Alya had done the same with their illusions, _does_ indicate a level of training and cohesion beyond what he would have expected. And that was- without a contract.

"Mind you, I kinda think Rose and Juleka do have a contract," Nino goes on. 

"Oh is that what we're calling it now?" Marinette asks him, amused.  "They're not roommates, they've got a contract?"

"Very funny, dude," Nino says, rolling his eyes. "If they do have one they haven't told anyone yet.  And I _know_ that Juleka and Luka don't, but they learned that trick years ago, we used it a lot when we were uh.... we used it a lot."

Marinette runs a cautious hand over Adrien's head, pausing to rub lightly along the side of his chin when he shuts his eyes and leans into her touch.  "It's funny, I don't think they originally meant to teach us to do it at all.  It's more that- well, no one ever told us _not_ to.  We were together every day, and it didn't take us that long to figure out that we could cast spells together that we couldn't do alone.  A lot of them aren't the kind of spells anyone else would expect, either, because most people just don't _think_ of them."

"There were a couple group misfires real early on, but those tend to lack power," Plagg says, dryly.  "Their class hamster was plaid, though, that was fun.  Never figured out how they managed that.  Mostly, they all used them to get into just so, so much trouble when they were left alone for longer than five minutes." Plagg sits back down and starts absently washing one of his front paws.  He seems to have forgotten he was ever leaving.

Nino snorts.  "Dude, Argyle was happy about it, and I actually know that for a fact. Besides, you say that like you weren't _obviously_ proud of us every time."

"Kid," Plagg says.  "You let a panther loose."

"We put him back!" Nino protests, flushing.

Marinette looks up and winces, apparently guessing exactly what Nino and Plagg are talking about. "That was Kim's idea, okay, and we were what, eight?"

"You were _twelve_."  Plagg sets his paw down and stretches, shaking out both back paws one after the other.  "And I know you let the panther talk you into it first.  Kid, you looked around a whole zoo, you stopped more than long enough to think things through, and then you went right back and took advice from a very large and very wild cat and _Kim_."

Adrien notices that Plagg's intonation indicates that Kim was probably the worse choice. 

"We put him back," Nino mumbles.  "We only ran around for a few hours."

Marinette shakes her head.  "We don't need to keep saying _we_!"

Nino lifts his head and gives her a sidelong glance. "I know that ca- that exhibit didn't repair itself.  _And_ I know it wasn't that big before, because that is literally what the panther was _complaining_ about."

Marinette hesitates, sighs, and mutters, "Ivan and Nathaniel helped."

"See?" Nino looks triumphant, even as he leans on the ladder and turns to look at Adrien instead of at his sister.  "I knew she was involved."

Tentatively, because even though he feels a lot calmer now he's _aware_ of how easily he could panic again, Adrien says, "It sort of sounds like a lot of your friends were involved."

"Alya wasn't, for once," Nino says promptly.  "Their dad works at the zoo so, like, they couldn't really do anything without getting in some major trouble."

Adrien manages not to cringe too badly at that thought.  He must still show some kind of reaction, because Marinette starts to pet him again.  She runs her hand along his back in long, slow strokes until he hesitantly relaxes into them. 

Adrien is starting to purr by the time Plagg snorts and says, "No, Alya was smart enough to make it _look_ like they weren't involved.  Why do you think it took so long to catch you? A group of kids running down the street _with a panther_ is a hard thing to miss." He pauses long enough to wash his other front paw, then adds, "Y'know, unless there's lots of kids and panthers running around at the same time."

Marinette blinks.  "I didn't think Alya could _do_ illusions that involved when we were that young." Her hand falls still and she glances down.  "Adrien, can I pick you up? I'd like to get down from the bed.  You can stay up here if you want, though."

Adrien stretches up and nudges his head against her arms to signal his agreement, purring much louder than he means to when she does pick him up.  Even though it's been days and they _always_ ask he can't help but be both surprised and grateful every time.  He's not sure how long that feeling is going to take to fade, if it ever does.

"Alya didn't want anyone to _know_ how complex their illusions could get at that age." Plagg stretches and then leaps down from the bed.  Plagg doesn't bother with the ladder at all this time, opting instead to just throw himself the entire distance from the bed to the floor.

Adrien watches that with enough jealousy that he's back to being glad that Rose did leave.  Plagg is so clearly comfortable as a cat and at ease with his preferred shape.  It's been days and even though Adrien has spent far more time as a cat than he'd have liked over the course of his life, he still can't get _used_ to it the way Plagg obviously has. 

Adrien isn't going to be leaping that same distance any time soon.

Then again, he doesn't _have_ to.  Marinette has no trouble navigating her ladder with him in her arms. 

"So hey," Nino says, when they're all back on the floor.  "You never really did give us an answer, dude.  Are you okay to stay in here?  Or do you want to come find Alya and Luka with me?"

"I-" Adrien hesitates.  He thinks he knows what he wants, but it wasn't either of the options Nino gave him.  He's not- sure how to deal with that. 

It's the realisation that he's _scared_ of telling Nino he wants something else, and the ensuing frustration because _he shouldn't be afraid of Nino_ , that spurs him to speak up.  "I, uh, I want to- to stay up here with Marinette, but can- can Luka,I mean, if he's still here-" Adrien fumbles to a halt. 

He's crouched further into Marinette's arms at the stupid _effort_ it took to get all of that out _._ It's just _Nino_ , who can actually understand him, who hasn't once been angry or irritated with him even though Adrien's done nothing but make more work for him since he got here.

"You want Luka to come back?" Nino asks gently, and Adrien forces himself to nod without turning it into cringing even closer to Marinette. 

"We can do that." Marinette's arms tighten around him for a moment, the same way Alya's had on the way back- home.  Back home.  This is home, now, and maybe if Adrien tells himself that enough he can finally really begin to believe it. "In fact, that might really help.  Luka knows a trick that boosts my magic, we figured it out years ago but we don't do it real often- but you have to let us know if it's too much, okay, Adrien?" She shifts her hold on him to brush her hand against the side of his face and Adrien leans into it before he knows he's going to.  "I'm serious, I need you to tell us right away."

Adrien's purring hard enough now that he's not sure words will come to him at all, so he nods instead. 

"If you're _sure_." Marinette crosses to the chaise lounge and very carefully sets him down.  Adrien has to consciously retract his front claws, because he wants to cling to Marinette more than he wants to _be_ set down. 

"I'll go get Luka," Nino offers.  "Do you want me and Alya back in here too?"

That's- a lot of people.  Well, it's not, not really, Adrien is getting used to having all his friends nearby by now and Luka is only one additional person, but somehow it seems like more.

"Adrien," Nino says.  "You can tell me no.  I'm fine with that, dude, I'm not gonna be angry, okay?  You're fine."

"I, uh, just." Adrien realises he's pawing at the blanket on the chaise lounge and stops.  "I- don't-"

"Kid." Plagg saunters over and jumps up beside him, reaching over to shove the blankets into what he appears to deem a more suitable position and then settling himself comfortably next to Adrien.  When he turns, his whiskers brush the side of Adrien's face briefly, making him start.  "You got a nasty shock, there, it's pretty normal if you need some time to recover."

If that was the whole reason it would make more sense for Adrien to be the one to leave the room, to go back downstairs with Nino and Alya.  He _knows_ Nino and Alya, and neither one of them has cast active magic of their own around him even once whereas the whole _point_ of Marinette and Luka being in here is spellwork.

But Adrien wants to stay close to Marinette, and even though he's just met Luka he wants to know him better already, and Adrien has no idea how to articulate _why_.  He doesn't _know_ why.

"Okay," Nino says, straightening, and it's only then that Adrien even realises that Nino had crouched down to talk to him.  He's actually getting used to that.  No one has ever done that for him before now, preferring to tower over him while they spoke, and Adrien's more grateful that his friends keep making a point of trying to be at eye level with him than he can put into words even if he was better than he is with words. "Okay, Adrien, I'll go get Luka.  Alya and I both have a couple things we need to do, but we're only out in the hallway or down in the kitchen if you need us, okay? Seriously, dude, just _let us know_."

Adrien nods, but then he ends up ducking his head into Plagg's side and just- breathing for a second.  Plagg lets him without comment, which is good, because Adrien doesn't think he can explain.

He's tried to let his parents know when he was uncomfortable or unhappy before.  He's tried, and tried, and _tried_ until he couldn't keep trying, until he'd given up and resorted to bolting for freedom every time an opportunity presented itself.  He'd opted to look for holes in shields and walls and for any seconds of inattention rather than to try again to let anyone know that he felt- that he _was_ trapped and frustrated with it and _miserable_. 

He knew he was unhappy.  He's still realising _how_ unhappy.

(- how depressed, but that's something he still can't look at too closely).

Plagg leans back into him and purrs, loudly, as Nino ducks back out of the room and doesn't come back. 

When Luka returns, it's with hesitant footsteps, as though he's not entirely sure Nino really meant to send him back up.  His eyes go to Adrien and Plagg before his attention shifts back to Marinette.

"Hey." Marinette wave him over to her spare desk chair, then spares a glance towards the chaise lounge herself.  "Is this far enough away for you?"

Adrien starts to nod right away, but Plagg nudges him before he can. 

"Kid," Plagg says, when Adrien looks at him.  "Think about it first.  She's asking for a reason, you know.  If you need them to move then they will."

Adrien drops his head to his paws so he doesn't have to look right at Plagg, but he does take his advice and stop to think about it.

Marinette and Luka don't say anything.  Luka takes the offered chair, but they clearly don't intend to do anything before Adrien gives them a real answer. 

If he's perfectly honest with himself- then no.  They _aren't_ far enough away.

The problem is, 'far enough away' would be 'in a different room entirely, and possibly a different city,' and Adrien doesn't want _that_ either.

Marinette's voice is very, very gentle when she says, "Would you rather I not work on the spell right now, Noir?"

"I do want her to, though," Adrien whispers, curling into Plagg so much that it's hard to see where his fur ends and the other cat's starts. "I want- I liked going out with Alya." He thinks about the trip _to_ Luka's, about for the first time in his life being able to relax and pay attention to his surroundings without being constantly and horribly on edge.  Meeting Luka had been wonderful.  Meeting Rose and Juleka might have been full of stress and panic, but he doesn't think it's something he can actually _regret_.

"Sure, kid," Plagg says, twitching his tail so that it arches up and over Adrien as well. He sits up just enough to let Adrien feel safely hidden between Plagg and the edge of the chaise lounge.  "What about if they start, and then if you need to leave you tell us? Or just leave.  You don't have to ask first, you can just, you know, go."

That had honestly not occurred to Adrien. It should have, they don't make him ask permission for things like joining them for dinner or jumping on and off of their furniture, but somehow it hadn't. 

He tries to tell himself that's because all of them ask permission before handling him.

He doesn't succeed at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song luka throws is Duel Duet from Shock Treatment
> 
> which i used to play very loudly when i was annoyed at my twin


	16. is the residue of design

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to shinobicyrus for putting up with me long enough to beta!

Adrien still isn't sure how to express himself clearly to Luka and Marinette. Plagg lifts his head and lets out a loud yawn and then raises one paw in the air, though, and even if Luka still looks a little puzzled Marinette relaxes like that means something to her.

It's only when she sits down at the other desk chair that Adrien realises Marinette had been _waiting_ for that answer before she told Luka anything.

"All right," Marinette says, swivelling her chair so that she can see both Luka and the chaise lounge.  "Luka, you saw Noir's illusion earlier, right?"

"Yes," Luka acknowledges, unstrapping his guitar from his back and laying it across his lap.  "Alya's still getting better, too.  I wouldn't have known about the illusion at all if Rose hadn't broken it."

Marinette starts to say something and stops.  She shakes her head instead, then says, "Okay, well, that's what we're trying to prevent.  I passed my mastery exam a few days ago, I should be able to do basic constructs now." She gestures at the dress form she'd been casting on before and her voice turns dry as she says, "Except that I'm not trying for a basic one."

Luka blinks.  "Marinette, you didn't tell any of us you made master."

Marinette scratches the back of her head without looking at him.  "It, uh, I meant to? But it kinda..." She glances at Adrien, then away.  "Well, it actually misfired.  I didn't- think Tikki was gonna actually let me move up, once I realised that, but then we figured out _why_ it misfired, and-" She gestures vaguely again, before saying, very quietly, "So, uh, I called Tikki to check in this morning 'cause I kinda, maybe, missed a couple check ins-"

"And she didn't show up to make sure everything was all right over here?" Luka raises an eyebrow.  "That's not like her."

Marinette shrugs. "Plagg's here.  And we've been calling Mom pretty frequently, and I think she talks to Tikki every day, so it's not like she would have thought we were in trouble.  But I talked to Tikki for a while this morning and she did officially say I made master, so."

It's still early enough that the sun hasn't fully risen, even now.  Adrien wonders where in the world Tikki _is_ that she didn't mind Marinette calling her so early.  He doesn't think anyone's mentioned either where she's gone or when she's supposed to be back, or at least not around him.

He could ask them.  He probably _should_ ask them, considering what a large part Tikki obviously plays in their lives.  At the moment she feels more mythical than anything.

It's hard to remember that he's only really known these people for a handful of days. Some of Father's trips had lasted weeks, but that doesn't really tell Adrien what might be normal. (Adrien had dreaded those trips.  They might have meant no magic, but they also meant that they went over the wards and locks so closely beforehand that he had next to no chance of escape, and even if he _did_ try and succeed both- he risked being locked in as a cat again until Father returned and remembered).

"Well then, it sounds like I have the honour of being the first to congratulate you, Master Dupain-Cheng." Luka smiles and half-bows over his guitar, a gesture that somehow doesn't look as ridiculous coming from him as it probably should.

"Thanks." Marinette ducks her head, but Adrien catches both the smile and the blush that she's hiding.  "I feel like I should be happier about it.  I mean, it's been years, I've been looking forward to it all this time, but now it feels..."

"Anticlimactic?" Luka suggests softly.

Marinette raises her head again, her eyes darting to Adrien and away. "Not as important."

Luka looks at the dress form, then back to Marinette.  He holds her gaze for a long moment, and then says softly, "You need the boost to make it more human, right?"

Plagg's purring _before_ Adrien flinches, like he anticipated the response.  Adrien only stays tense for a moment, because he knows didn't _mean_ it like that but he still couldn't help his reaction.

Marinette's eyes flicker towards Adrien but she turns back to Luka.  "Right.  We, uh, we need-" She stumbles to a halt, then looks back at Adrien.

"Hey," Luka says softly, glancing between them himself. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't _want_ to tell me.  In fact, I don't really need to know anything aside from what you're casting to help, remember?"

Marinette flushes and mumbles something not even Adrien can make out.

"Right." Luka picks up his guitar and lets his fingers play aimlessly over the strings, humming quietly, before glancing back up at Marinette through his bangs.  "Really, though.  You know what songs we both know, Mari."  He tilts his head.  "What do you think would work best?"

Marinette sighs and scoots her chair back, leaning backwards to rest her elbows on her desk.  It doesn't look very comfortable to Adrien, but then, he's pretty sure one of the feline tendencies that translated to his human form early on was the ability to make himself comfortable in the _oddest_ places. It's not something he would comment on even if he could.

Luka and Marinette must have at least practiced together before, even without Luka sharing a class with the rest of Adrien's friends, because they don't actually state the name of the song. 

Instead, Marinette looks back at Luka, takes a deep breath, and breathes out like a challenge, "Put on your war paint."

Luka's fingers dance over the guitar stings in immediate answer, and at the same time he speaks but with a melody underlying his words in a way that isn't- well, that isn't _exactly_ singing.  "Cross walks and crossed hearts and hope to die, silver clouds with grey lining-" 

Marinette spins her chair back to her dress form, her hands lifting to make several passes over it that don't make any visible change but Adrien can _taste_ her magic rising up around her and Luka.  It envelops them entirely, like quiet morning mist over Luka, like cherry blossoms drifting down around Marinette.

Both Luka and Marinette take the next line, voices and magic overlapping and interlocking in a way that Adrien wishes he'd been aware enough to look for when Luka and Juleka had cast together earlier.  It makes him think of waves lapping at a beach, the way their magic is still separate but intrinsically intertwined in this moment.  He doesn't know yet what a contract will feel like to him but he thinks this is probably pretty close to it- unless they _have_ one and just haven't mentioned it, but he doesn't think that Marinette or Luka would do that.  He really doesn't.

"So we can take the world back from the heart-attacked, one maniac at a time we will take it back, you know time crawls when you're waiting for the song to start so dance along to the beat of your heart-"

There's more _music_ in the air now than either Luka's guitar or his and Marinette's joined voices can account for.  There are- instruments playing that don't _exist_ , and the song's bass beat is something Adrien can _feel_ acutely. 

He does huddle more into Plagg, unable to help himself, even though the magic is contracting tightly around Luka and Marinette's corner of the room and coming nowhere near Adrien himself.  He's safe, he _knows_ he's safe, he knows that Marinette would never hurt him and he doesn't think that she would ever let Luka hurt him and he doesn't think that's something Luka would do anyway- but Adrien is _still_ afraid of the magic turning to reach for him. 

It's not a _logical_ fear.  He _knows_ that, now.  He knows he's afraid of something that isn't going to happen, that's probably never going to happen, but-

It isn't going to happen _now_ , with his friends.

That doesn't mean it hasn't happened to him before.

The dress form is changing under Marinette's hands, which is a result Adrien doesn't think she'd accomplished before.  Slowly, it grows a little larger; slowly, parts of it start to shift and change. 

Arms form, seemingly unfolding from the sides of the original structure. The bottom half splits and twists together again to form something like legs.

It's not perfect, or pretty.  The form- the beginning of a homunculus, at least, whether it's what Marinette meant to achieve or not- is proportioned weirdly, is still missing a head and neck. 

But Marinette's eyebrows are drawn together in determination, and Luka's fingers are flying over his guitar strings now.  They're both singing now, Marinette under her breath, and the words echo back and forth between them strangely. "I'm gonna change you like a remix, then I'll raise you like a phoenix!"

Adrien doesn't just duck under Plagg at that point, he starts digging at the blanket beside them to draw it at least partway over himself.  He's- this _is_ too much magic, it's way too much magic, he shouldn't have stayed.  He should have gone back downstairs with Nino and Alya.

But when he looks over, the dress-form is standing.  Maybe it would be overly generous to say that it's on its feet- Adrien isn't quite sure _what_ to call the way the legs end very abruptly, but it pretty definitely doesn't have _feet_ \- but it _is_ standing. 

And then, as Marinette slumps back and Luka lifts his fingers from his guitar and shakes them out, the hum of magic that's been weaving around them both drains back out of the air.

It doesn't all leave.

Some of it hovers around the newly-formed construct, which turns towards Adrien. He's barely paying enough attention to know that it didn't do that on its own, that Marinette gestured before it turned, and that knowledge does nothing to make it any less disturbing.

"Kid?" Plagg asks in an undertone, nudging him gently with his head.  "Hey, kid.  Too much?"

Adrien can't take his eyes off the construct long enough to answer.

He's been waiting for this, even if he hadn't realised it until just now.  He's been anticipating it.  He's been wistfully looking forward to it, even, because he can't- he can't _be_ human again.  He's still forcing himself to try and _accept_ that, but he _understands_ it.  He can't be human but this is the closest his friends can get him to it.  When he dares look a little longer, he can see that Marinette's even managed to add a padded perch for him on the homunculus' 'shoulder.'

When he forces himself to look away he sees the way Marinette is leaning very heavily against her desk, rubbing at her forehead like casting with so much energy and focus has left her with a splitting headache.

Luka is still shaking out his hand. Adrien doesn't know exactly what Luka _did_ , because he'd played for much longer earlier with no signs of needing to stop or take a break, but now it looks like Luka's fingers are blistered and bloody.  Maybe that's the price he pays for the way his magic let him play more music than he could possibly have produced on his own.

They've done this for him.  Luka doesn't even know _why_ they're doing it, he'd agreed to help Adrien just because Marinette had _asked_. Luka doesn't even _know_ Adrien.

"Kid?" Plagg says again, a little more urgently. From the way he twists to rest his head over Adrien's and starts rumbling out a purr, he must think Adrien's either having or about to have another attack. 

He might be right. 

The construct is an impressive feat of magic.  From the way Marinette's been trying so determinedly for so long without success, Adrien's beginning to doubt it would have been _possible_ without the support of a second domain.  Considering what they'd told him before, about how most people never think to work in concert, Adrien is ridiculously lucky that he was found by people who are even capable of spellwork like this. 

(He wonders if Marinette would be strong enough to cast it without Luka's help if she had a familiar.  He wonders, uneasily, if she'd have told him if she would).

The problem lies entirely with Adrien. 

The problem is, the idea of going anywhere _near_ the construct is _terrifying_.

Marinette and Luka's spells may not be active anymore, but the construct itself is still leaking magic.  Adrien can actually _see_ it in the air around it without even trying to, like a heat wave shimmering in the desert, and he-

He doesn't want to go near it. 

He doesn't want anything to _do_ with it.

He should be grateful, and he _is_ , but it's a gratitude being slowly eaten at the edges by terror. 

Adrien looks at Marinette instead.  Her eyes have the same kind of dark circles under them that Alya's do, now, even though they didn't before the spell.  She's moving slowly and pausing frequently as she rummages through her desk drawer before withdrawing a handful of bandages and offering them to Luka, raising an eyebrow when he doesn't take them.

"I don't want to get blood on- uh, everything," Luka says dryly, curling his fingers in towards his palm.  Adrien looks again and realises the reason Luka isn't trying to shake his hands out any more is that more than one of his blisters has split open and started to ooze blood.  Marinette moves to help him bandage that hand before Luka accepts the rest of the bandages and starts wrapping his other hand himself.

Adrien's paws ache in sympathy.

His paws ache, but it's still a _phantom_ ache, a _memory_ of the way they used to feel all the time.  The way he'd been resigned to his paws always hurting before Marinette had realised that couldn't be right and made them _stop_.

Plagg is still draped over him.  Adrien squirms free and leaps lightly to the floor, with much less trouble steadying himself than he'd expected. 

" _Kid_ -" Plagg starts, following after him, but Adrien's darted over to Marinette to rub up against her shins with a purr.

She grins down at him.  "You're happy with it?"

The construct looms behind him.  Adrien can't tell whether the shadow it's casting over him is real or only in his mind.

The shadows under Marinette's eyes look deeper by the second.  Whenever she blinks it's too slow, like she's having trouble dragging her eyes back open.

Luka's leaning back with his guitar resting on the floor, twitching his fingers carefully one by one as he finishes with the last of the bandages.  That's a terrible injury for any musician to have but Luka's _magic_ depends on his music, too.

Adrien nods, ignoring Plagg's low hiss from somewhere closer to the chaise lounge, and hopes as hard as he can that Marinette thinks his trembling is due to excitement and nothing else.

"Do you want me to set you up on it?" Marinette asks, very gently.  "I tried to get it so you'd be at least pretty close to eye level with us, but there was a limit to what I could do.  It's a little shorter than- than you're used to, probably.  I'm sorry."

Adrien would try to purr if it was something he had any control over.  He'd never even taken that into consideration himself.  He hadn't realised how resigned he'd become to staying mostly well below everyone else's line of sight.

But then none of his friends ask that of him.  None of them seem to think anything of finding or inventing ways to address him face to face instead of looming.

Adrien clings to that, trying to focus on it to the exclusion of- of anything else he might be feeling, as he nods to Marinette.

She slides off her chair and onto her floor to gather him up again but Plagg suddenly darts in between them with a hiss that makes Adrien cower backward. 

"Plagg?!" Marinette sits back on her heels so quickly she has to grab her desk to steady herself. 

Luka starts to reach for her, but then glances at Adrien and Plagg and shakes his head, apparently to himself.  He joins Marinette on the floor without making a move towards anyone after all.

Plagg's eyes are narrowing at Adrien.  The older cat's fur is starting to bristle, and his tail is lashing, and Adrien hasn't actually managed to _stop_ cowering yet. 

He's seen Plagg start to get angry a couple of times by now, but he hasn't seen Plagg _this_ angry for this long, and he doesn't think he's ever seen Plagg angry at _him_. 

"Kid, don't do this," Plagg says, and he sounds like he's forcing it past a growl.  Adrien looks up very slowly.

Plagg isn't sitting up so straight anymore, isn't towering over him anymore, and even if Adrien still can't relax he does start to feel that little bit less afraid. 

It must make some kind of visible difference, because although Plagg takes a step to the side and puts himself between Adrien and Marinette's construct he does lay down.  He stops sounding quite so much like he's having trouble keeping himself from growling or hissing.

Adrien opens his mouth to say something to him and words don't come.  He doesn't manage any sound at all.  He shuts his mouth again and flicks his tail around his front paws and doesn't meet Plagg's eyes.

"Noir?" Luka says, very, very gently, and Adrien turns towards him before he can think better of it.

Luka's kneeling next to Marinette, letting her brace herself against him. The tandem spell obviously took a lot of energy out of them both but it seems to have hit Marinette much harder.

They're both looking at him with concern.

"Kid, if Rose was still here, she'd be freaking out right now, wouldn't she." Plagg's voice is much, much gentler than before.  It doesn't match Luka's, but it sounds like that might be what Plagg is going for. 

Adrien still can't meet his eyes.

" _Adrien_." Plagg moves closer, one paw at a time.  When Adrien flinches, he stops and sighs.  "I'm not actually mad at you, kid.  But we keep telling you that you gotta _tell_ us if you're upset, and I think you're scared and trying to hide it from us right now.  Are you?"

Adrien hunches in on himself more, far more aware than he wants to be that he's trying to make himself seem smaller like a terrified cat.

Like the terrified cat he _is_ , that this is supposed to help him feel _less_ like.

Marinette is the next person to speak up.  "Hey, it's all right.  Chat Noir, if it doesn't help you then don't use it, okay?" She rubs the back of her neck.  "If it doesn't help you then it's not doing what it's meant to anyway.  Do you need me to dismiss it?" She makes a vague gesture with one hand that he thinks is meant to represent doing just that.

Adrien tries and tries again to just _say_ something. He can't even wish Nino was still here to translate, because Adrien has to actually succeed at getting words out for Nino to be able to help.

"But you worked so hard on it." His voice is a cracked whisper, more a whimper than actual words, but Plagg's ears flick in immediate response. "I don't- I didn't want to- I-"

"Kid." Plagg moves closer yet and, when Adrien doesn't flinch this time, starts grooming him again. "They didn't do it to make you feel obligated. They did it 'cause they wanted to help. It's pretty obviously not helping you, so it's not doing what they wanted it to."

Plagg is still speaking very calmly.  Adrien doesn't know how to feel about that.  He's torn between relief that Plagg really _doesn't_ seem angry with him- and a terrible irrational terror that Plagg might be hiding fury after all.

Adrien's learned better than to trust a calm voice.

"Noir," Marinette says. "I am going to dismiss it, okay? I'm sorry, I've never tried this before. I didn't realise there'd be so much magic still active around it."

Plagg is far too close not to notice that flinch, and Adrien feels it when the other cat turns and nods at Marinette.

Marinette doesn't hesitate before she lets the last bits of the spell go. The dress form stays where it's moved to, but the sense of a surrounding heat-shimmer drops away. The pseudo arms and legs and the shoulder perch stay, though.

Luka blinks. "Is it... supposed to do that?"

"I honestly have no idea." Marinette shrugs at him, getting up slowly and going over to touch the mannequin. "I really hadn't tried anything like this before. Tikki might have, but I don't think she's ever done anything like having a friend amplify her spells. I mean, Plagg helps her, but you know that's different- I think group and tandem spells are still pretty new?"  She turns to Adrien.  "They're less powerful than casting with a contract, but more than if you're casting on your own, and sometimes you can get spells to last longer.  It only works if you have magic that can work together, though, so it usually has to be specific spells."

"Yes, but your entire class did get very, very good at working out _which_ spells," Luka says, and Adrien wonders how he isn't including _himself_ in that after seeing him bounce his music off Juleka's mirror earlier.

Adrien tries to twist to look at Plagg, curiosity battling his fear and nearly winning now that there's not so much magic overwhelming the room. His friends have been casting together- quite a lot, now that he actually thinks about it.  He knows what Plagg said earlier, about how his friends can cast in a way people don't think of, but it's different to stop and think about just _how_ often they've been doing it. 

"Group spells are old, actually." Plagg snorts. "They fell out of favour back when- people gradually stopped using them a long time ago. They never should have, there are _reasons_ we used them, but even our kid's class didn't actually _teach_ them. Turns out if you stick a bunch of very different kids together to learn like that, though, they're gonna discover how to do it whether or not you're actually _trying_ to teach them how."

"Maybe we should go downstairs again," Luka says, jarring Adrien from wondering just how much Plagg is leaving out of that explanation. "That was pretty powerful, it still can't be comfortable in here for Noir."

It's not. The magic's dissipated, but it still has an _echo_ of a presence, like steam fogging up a room after a hot shower. It even lingers on Marinette and Luka themselves and makes Adrien feel uncomfortably like there's smoke clinging to his fur. He's never felt that from his friend's magic before.

(Nathalie's magic always feels like that. Father's is harsher than hers, but it doesn't usually leave traces of itself everywhere the way Nathalie's does).

"Do you want me to pick you up, Noir?" Marinette asks. "Or do you want to go ahead with Plagg, and Luka and I will be right behind you?" She waves at the room. "Opening a window should help but that'll only take me a second."

Plagg backs away from Adrien to let him answer, and that's probably part of what makes Adrien reach one paw towards the older cat.

Marinette's nod shows no sign of surprise. "We'll be down in a second, then. I don't know where Nino and Alya went, but if they're in the kitchen, can you let them know we'll be right there?"

"Sure," Plagg says, getting to his feet with a stretch and waiting for Adrien to follow.

Plagg takes his time on their way to the kitchen, turning to check on Adrien frequently enough that it should probably feel at least a little irritating.  It's not, though.  If anything it's reassuring- Plagg wouldn't do that if he was actually angry with him.

Would he?

"Plagg?" Adrien says while they're still in the hallway, far enough away that he doesn't think Nino will overhear. It's still so strange to think in terms of _anyone_ overhearing, but Adrien is trying hard to remember that someone _can_ , now. "I'm- I'm sorry."

Plagg's ears flick back towards him, and then Plagg sighs and turns around and sits down.

Adrien studies his front paws instead of returning Plagg's gaze.

Even now Adrien can't help watching the way his claws retract and extend without any pain or effort.

Plagg's tail flicks. "Kid. Are you apologising for your _reaction_ , or because you weren't honest about it?"

Adrien doesn't look up. "I don't- I didn't want to seem like I didn't- like I don't appreciate it." He swallows hard around a sudden lump in his throat. "I'm sorry that I couldn't just be- just be grateful for it."

He can't quite tell if the noise he hears is a sharply indrawn breath or an outright hiss.

"That's an apology for your _reaction_ , kid." Plagg sounds- Plagg doesn't sound happy, but he doesn't sound angry, either. He mostly sounds- he mostly sounds _sad_. "You don't control your reactions and you definitely don't gotta _apologise_ for them. Yeah, you shoulda told us, but I'm never gonna say you shouldn't have _felt_ it." His tail flicks again, more agitated this time. "Kid- Adrien. Your feelings _matter_. You did it 'cause you didn't wanna hurt _their_ feelings, right? Why should yours be any less important?"

Adrien crouches lower, pawing at the carpet. "I didn't- think of it that way."

"Yeah, kid, I know you didn't." Plagg gets back up with a yawn and a stretch. "But you gotta _start_ thinking about it that way. Now come on, I'm sure Alya still didn't eat, _and_ I'm sure Luka forgot to before all of that." His eyes glitter. "So now Nino's gonna be annoyed that absolutely everyone is starving and stupid about it and that's always fun to watch."

That doesn't sound fun to Adrien, but he follows Plagg into the kitchen anyway.

Nino doesn't look annoyed. 

Nino looks like he's absolutely _had_ it with all of them.

"Babe, it's fine," Alya says, their voice muffled where their head is resting against the table.  "I ate before we even left."

"And then you didn't sleep," Nino says, flatly.  "At all.  And clearly Luka and Adrien have _also_ been awake all this time, and Marinette and Plagg and I have all been up and worried, _and_ Luka did _not_ stop to eat before running back up there, by the way, and I am not a personal chef and _I know what you're about to say Alya don't you dare_."

Plagg is laughing as he strolls into the kitchen and leaps to a chair.  "C'mon, you know Alya doesn't need a personal chef, I'm pretty sure their mom is still in despair over that time they decided to just eat an onion like it was an apple.  I don't think chefs _like_ Alya.  I think even their mother has given up on civilizing them by now." Plagg sounds oddly proud of that. 

"It was a dare," Alya says, voice still muffled.

"You don't know what he said," Nino tells them, still audibly annoyed.

Alya raises one hand without otherwise moving. "Doesn't matter.  It was a dare."

"How _many_ times-" Nino stops and closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.  "Listen, I don't mind cooking, but a heads up would be nice!  Alya, do you have any idea when the last time I actually went shopping was? Because I don't, but it wasn't recently enough!"

Alya finally lifts their head, leaning back and glancing around long enough that their eyes rest on Adrien, frozen in the doorway. 

This isn't funny to him. 

Maybe it still is to Plagg, but Adrien finds himself trying to back out of the kitchen before he's noticed.

He wonders uncomfortably how expensive he actually is to keep. He doesn't know how to tell, and it isn't as though he has any real way to pay anyone back.  Even becoming a familiar won't help with a financial drain, as far as he knows.  He doesn't eat very _much_ but he knows it must add up. He could- he could definitely eat less than he has been, though.  He doesn't _need_ to eat quite so much.

"Nino," Alya says, and Nino stops mid-sentence.  "You missed calling your parents last night, right? They're gonna be worried.  Call'em and explain and then ask if we can just raid the bakery for stuff."

"I-" Nino blinks.  "I should have thought of that."

Alya shoves back from the table just as Luka and Marinette wander in.  "Yeah, you should have.  Why don't you call them and Marinette and I can go show Adrien the bakery?"

"Um?" Marinette says.  "Did we miss something?" 

"I haven't actually _asked_ Mom about the bakery yet," Nino says at the same time.

"You missed your brother being whiny about having to cook," Alya says dryly.  "And c'mon, Nino, you _know_ they're gonna say yes.  It's fine." They look around.  "Plagg, Luka, either of you coming?"

Luka looks sheepish.  "I think I'm actually going to go take a nap on your couch, if you don't mind. I kind of forgot that I still need to get back home at some point."

Alya gives Adrien a sharp glance at that.  They only relax when Adrien doesn't do anything more than blink back at them.

He lowers his head when he works out why, his ears flattening back before he can will them not to.

Marinette shakes her head.  "We don't mind, Luka, that's a good idea.  Stay as long as you need to."

(Adrien is really beginning to wonder how many people they've said that to). 

Plagg follows them down into the bakery and tags along as Marinette shows Adrien where everything is. 

The bakery is stunning. Adrien can barely figure out what to investigate next- there's so much to look at, all of it interesting, and the wonderful smell overwhelms the last of the scent of recent magic on both Marinette and himself. He doesn't have much of a desire for breads or pastries anymore, but they still smell amazing.

Several of the glass display cases are decorated with paw prints, and Adrien blinks when he realises the black cat he can see on the bakery's sign is someone's stylized version of Plagg.  It's very clear that no one's made any attempt to hide that Plagg is here.

Adrien thinks it was probably pretty easy to miss any sign of _him_ in the mansion even for people who did know he was there. 

Eventually they reach a door that Marinette halts in front of.

"Uh," Marinette says, quietly.  "This is, uh, where we keep all the ingredients.  It's not- we shouldn't go in there, really, you, uh-"

Plagg jumps onto a nearby stool.  "It's the fur, kid, she's not hiding anything in there.  It really is ingredients.  She just doesn't wanna bring up shedding."

"Oh," Adrien says, very softly.  He feels too tangled about that to try and tease through his reactions. He didn't actually think that Marinette was hiding anything, but he's still glad Plagg explained.  At the same time he's _also_ glad that Marinette avoided admitting that it's specifically because he's a cat.

They've lost Alya somehow, which is strange, because it isn't a large space.  Like the living space above it feels cosy instead of cramped and it's only moments after Adrien realises Alya's not _with_ them that they reappear with a bag full of food.

" _Alya_ ," Marinette scolds, but she's laughing as she says it.  "Did you just raid the fridge for everyone's favourites, or-?"

"Oh absolutely I did." Alya is grinning.  "I mean, okay, not Adrien's but that's just 'cause we don't know his yet." They wave towards the door.  "So, do we want to go see if Nino's cooled down some, or?"

"If Nino's...?" Marinette's eyebrows furrow and then she groans. "He's mad at me, huh."

"At... at _you_?" Adrien says, unable to help himself.

Plagg's at his side in a couple of long strides.

He lowers his head to look at Adrien out of the corner of his eyes.  "Yeah, kid, he's annoyed at the others for not stopping to eat _before_ they tried all this.  He was never mad at you." Plagg pauses and considers for a moment. "Well, he's probably frustrated that you haven't eaten either.  But kid, even if he actually _had_ been mad at you, he wasn't going to do anything."

Adrien hunches in on himself.

"He wasn't," Plagg says, gently.  "He isn't.  I'm not gonna tell you none of us are ever gonna get angry, because that's a lie, and a stupid one at that.  Everyone gets angry.  But I can tell you we're never gonna try and take it out on you."

Adrien tries to make himself even smaller, his ears going completely flat.  "That's not- Father never-"

"I wasn't there, I can't know." Plagg ducks his head down to rub the side of his face along Adrien's.  "But people don't generally feel like they have to tell me they're _sorry_ for what they feel, kid."

Plagg goes back upstairs ahead of them, but that's partially because Adrien is dragging his paws while he thinks that over. 

What... _did_ he think was going to happen, if he'd just told Luka and Marinette he was scared?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song marinette and luka use is phoenix by fall out boy 
> 
> walked in on twin eating an onion like that and mom laughing a little hysterically one day. either it was a dare or she offered him five bucks, i am still unclear.


	17. never know your

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> f_imaginings very kindly drew wonderful fanart! https://f-imaginings.tumblr.com/post/185309557456/a-quick-little-ballpoint-sketch-for-the-fic-what 
> 
> and thanks to shinobicyrus for beta'ing this chapter as well!

"Hey," Nino greets them, sounding frazzled but much calmer than before. He holds up a wooden spoon from where he's stirring something on the stove.  "Uh, Mom and Dad said absolutely raid the bakery, by the way.  They say hi, Adrien, they're sorry they haven't had a chance to meet you yet."

Adrien freezes.

"They also said they're gonna be a little longer, I guess there's something they decided they need to do while they're- Adrien, you okay?" Nino blinks and crouches down, careful not to drip sauce on the floor as he holds the spoon awkwardly away from himself. "Sorry about earlier, I get frustrated with this one." He flaps his free hand towards Alya, who flips him off before upending their bag of pastries over the table.

"Alya!" Marinette cries, but she's laughing even as Plagg darts past and grabs a tumbling croissant in his teeth.

"Adrien," Nino says, serenely ignoring Plagg and Marinette rushing to catch pastries while Alya laughs like a maniac.  "I'm serious, are you okay?"

Adrien swallows, hard, and then has to swallow again.  "I'm not- I'm not a secret?"

Nino blinks again.  "No?  You're not- dude, what- did you think we were just going to, like-" Nino looks increasingly uncomfortable.  " _Dude_.  You're not some stray we're hiding from our parents, okay? You're our friend."

Since Adrien has _definitely_ still been thinking of himself as some stray Plagg brought home for his own inscrutable reasons, he doesn't reply to that.

" _Adrien_ ," Nino says, voice strained. "You're our friend.  You're not a secret.  I mean, we're not gonna run out and tell everyone you're here, but that's because we know there's people you don't wanna find you.  It's not for any other reason."

Adrien is very still as he says, quietly, "Plagg said he couldn't have left me in that box."

Nino rubs his forehead, looking ill.  "Okay, dude, that's- that's horrifying for a whole other set of reasons.  Mom and Dad know you're here, which, like, we probably should have asked you about first but we didn't think of it and I'm really sorry about that, but they, uh.  I can't actually tell anymore if they're joking about the adopting thing or not?" He shrugs a little.  "I still don't know how serious they were about that with _Alya_ , and they never actually needed it.  You- you kinda do, dude."

"I don't-" Adrien has absolutely no idea how he intends to end that sentence. Nino's not _wrong_ , exactly, and Adrien _wants_ to stay here, but he feels horrible for even thinking that way.  He definitely can't _say_ it.

"You're not a secret," Nino says again, gently.  "We wouldn't do that to you."

"Hey," Alya calls, and they both look over to see Alya juggling some kind of steamed bun with their eyebrow raised.  "Adrien, I think you'll like this one, wanna try it?"

Adrien glances at Nino first before scrambling away at his friend's nod, jumping to a chair without waiting for help.  At least he's definitely having less trouble getting around by now.

"Here." Alya breaks the bun messily apart and hands it to him.  "It's char siu bao, Marinette loves these. I dunno about the bread part for you, but it's mainly a pork bun, so I think it'll be okay."

"Well, if it isn't I did make spaghetti while the rest of you raided the family livelihood," Nino says, dryly, getting up to check on the stove.  "It's done now, too, so help yourselves.  I'm gonna go see if Luka's still awake or not."

"Don't wake him if he isn't!" Marinette takes the seat next to Adrien, and he's wary about that until he realises the magic really _has_ faded from them both.  "Luka cast on the way here _and_ he gave me a boost, let him sleep.  Rose and Juleka already know where he is if anyone needs him."

Nino rolls his eyes.  "I can't believe you seriously thought he was going to go right back home."

"Plagg," Adrien says, because Marinette's phrasing caught his attention, and because this is something he _should_ have thought about and hadn't.  "Earlier, you both said- you can boost magic without a contract?"

Plagg doesn't look up from the cheese danish he's batting around his plate, but he does shrug.  "If it's compatible, yeah.  That's not common though.  Marinette and Luka's magic itself isn't compatible, it's just that his magic happens to work well with her casting style.  Luka could boost anyone who casts with music.  He couldn't boost, say, his sister, because that isn't how she casts."

Adrien is _more_ confused.  "I thought you said Juleka's Reflect was a wild talent."

"It is." Plagg does look up now.  "Her domain's light, though.  She uses both, but from what Alya's said her wild talent was more immediately helpful at the time."

"You can use both?" Adrien asks, after gulping down the rest of the pork and then looking around hesitantly.

Marinette and Nino both move more food towards him without looking.

Plagg stops playing with his food, then groans loud enough that Adrien starts a little.  "Yeah, yeah you can, but Nino doesn't.  _Most_ people don't, Juleka's actually the odd one out.  I didn't think about that being kinda confusing."  His tail lashes.  "Remember when I said I'm probably not the greatest teacher, kid?  I meant it.  And I'm probably pretty overdue on another lesson by now, huh."

"I don't know," Adrien says, quietly.  "How often do people normally have lessons?" He doesn't want to tell Plagg that he did have lessons every day.  For one thing, he doesn't know anymore if that's normal, and they already know so much about him that _isn't_ normal. 

For another, he doesn't want- they're probably all assuming his ignorance is due to a _lack_ of lessons. He doesn't want to see their reactions to learning that he _has_ had them, that he just- hadn't been learning as much as he'd thought.

The fur on the back of his neck bristles, but only for a moment.  It's a dull hurt, anyway, a pain that fades into the background ache of a dozen other small slights and inconveniences. He doesn't think his parents ever truly believed that he'd ever be off the grounds long enough for it to matter.  They probably just- just didn't think he'd ever need to know. 

Besides.  Even Adrien himself, for all his frantic bolting for freedom, had never been entirely convinced he could _achieve_ it- but he's never been able to stop trying, either.

He had never thought he could find help.

(They'd made so very sure he'd thought he could never find help).

Adrien would miss Plagg's indrawn breath if he hadn't still been listening for it. 

His stomach sinks.  He thinks that Plagg was still hoping that, somehow, Adrien wouldn't turn out to be quite as naive as he actually is.  No wonder Plagg hasn't tried teaching him again, Plagg's probably too exasperated to _keep_ trying.

"Lesson frequency varies a lot, kid.  Tikki taught Marinette a few times a week while she was in school, but Nino usually only met with Master Fu once a week, and-" Plagg blinks.  "And I don't actually know how often Trixx was teaching Alya.  Huh."

Adrien forgets that Nino is listening, right up until Nino says, "Wait, I don't know that either.  Dude.  Alya.  How often _did_ you have lessons with Trixx?"

Alya looks up from where they're balancing a small pile of pastries on their plate.  "Oh.  Uh.  That's kinda hard to say? If I was at home, then like every other week at first, but then it was a couple times a week after- uh, starting a few years back.  But if I was _staying_ with Trixx at the time then, like, I really couldn't tell you."

"What?" Marinette says, reaching over to catch another steamed bun as it tumbles off Alya's tower.  She tears it in half to expose the pork inside and offers it to Adrien. "How can you not know?"

Alya shrugs.  "Because it's not like we had lesson plans? Trixx would just, I don't know, slip in information in the middle of conversation.  Or we'd start playing a video game or card game or something and use illusions while we played it."

"That's-" Nino narrows his eyes.  "This is what happened to all my Pokemon cards, isn't it."

"And your YuGiOh cards and your Magic cards, too," Alya says without missing a beat.  "It's been four years of you not noticing, Nino, you don't get to be annoyed about it now."

Nino throws his hands up.  "You could have just asked me!" A moment later, he flinches and looks guiltily at Adrien. 

Adrien blinks back at him, confused.

Nino relaxes again, slowly, and lowers his hands with a deep sigh.  He crosses his arms as he says, "If you'd just said 'hey I need them for lessons,' I'd have handed you, like, all of them, you know?" He pauses.  "Most of them.  Wait, actually, if you have my holographic Charizard I want that back."

"Asking wouldn't have been half as fun, I figured I'd give them back when you noticed.  Not my fault you never noticed.  And the Charizard is under your bed, Nino, where it's been for literally years now.  Weren't you gonna wake Luka?" Alya lightly tosses half a croissant at Nino.  He catches it out of the air, but not before Adrien catches _both_ of them glancing at him this time.

"Plagg?" Adrien whispers.

Plagg jumps across to Adrien's chair and settles next to him.  The older cat licks paw and starts grooming his whiskers before he says, "You stopped flinching, kid.  A while ago."

Adrien's still processing that when they finish eating and move to the living room.  Luka _is_ still asleep, sprawled on his back on the couch, and Adrien actually snickers when Nino's only reaction is to sigh and then push Luka's legs out of the way to sit down.  Moments later Nino looks resigned when Luka's feet end up in his lap.

Adrien feels a lot less like laughing when Marinette shifts Luka enough to sit on the other side of the couch.  She ends up with Luka's head in her lap and for some reason that makes Adrien shift restlessly in place.

Alya's the last one into the room, having been unanimously chosen to clean up since it was their idea to raid the bakery in the first place.  They take one look at the couch and snort before crossing towards the loveseat, stopping to crouch down by Adrien. 

"Hey," they whisper, and when he looks at them there's enough mischief in their eyes to make him wary.  "Is it all right if I move you somewhere?  Nowhere bad and you can jump down in a second."

The cat tree is in here but Adrien honestly trusts Alya more than that by now, so he nods. 

Alya's careful picking him up.

They're a little _less_ careful about dropping him on Luka's chest. 

Adrien freezes.  That's- not what he expected, and not at all what he expected Alya to do, and he's _not_ sure he's okay with this, actually-

"You can jump down," Alya reminds him, softly enough he doesn't think anyone but Plagg is likely to overhear.

He almost does jump down.  Almost. 

Luka hasn't woken up, though, and Marinette's already reaching over to pet Adrien with a muffled giggle, and Adrien doesn't know if he really _wants_ to move. 

"You all right?" Alya says, and Adrien realises that they did wait long enough to check rather than just leaving him there.  He nods and they grin back before trudging over to the loveseat and collapsing into it with a deep groan.  "I am exhausted."

Nino pushes himself up to glare around at everyone else indignantly. "That is your own fault."

"No, that's insomnia's fault," Alya corrects him, through a yawn.  "Luka has the right idea, though, napping looks great."

"I'm not _tired_ , Alya," Nino grumbles. "I'm not responsible for the rest of you."

Plagg jumps onto the arm of the loveseat, his tail lashing once against Alya's arm before he makes himself comfortable.  "And I'm not technically responsible for most of you but napping still sounds good to me."

" _Your_ opinion on napping does not count, Plagg." Nino leans one arm heavily on the side of the couch and fishes around in the cushions until he comes up with a remote.  "Anyway, since we are _definitely_ gonna wake Luka if we keep talking, any preferences for what I turn on?"

"How is that _less_ likely to wake Luka?" Alya demands.

"Unlike you, the television has volume control," Nino says, pressing the power button and then the mute button as Plagg snickers. "Also, subtitles are a thing? Anyone have any preferences, seriously, because if you don't I will just let whatever plays, play."

Nobody answers him. 

Alya blinks and looks up.  "Oh, okay, Marinette's asleep.  I wondered why she wasn't already picking something.  Huh."

"Play Freebird," Plagg says, and Nino looks ready to throw the remote at him.

"You could at least make _good_ jokes." Nino flips the remote once in his hands, goes to the Netflix menu, then shuts his eyes and points the remote and hits a button.

Alya snorts.  " _You_ could at least pick shows that aren't, uh, wait, why was this in the rec list? Whose account are we on?"

"Ours, but it's your profile, dude," Nino says, dryly.  "So it looks like you're the one who had, _oh look_ , season _six_ of My Little Pony on the _Watch Again_ list."

"Nino?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up and play the show before we wake anyone up."

Adrien's not sure when his eyes finally drift shut, but by how the light has shifted it's hours later when he opens them again.  It occurs to him that he's not really sure what time of year it is and he should probably ask at some point, and it _doesn't_ occur to him until he yawns and stretches that he must have fallen asleep _still on top of Luka._

He holds his breath, hoping that maybe Luka is still asleep, and looks up. 

Luka... actually is still asleep.  Adrien lets his breath back out, obscurely disappointed.  He glances around, catches himself kneading at Luka's shirt, and hastily slips down to the floor before he _does_ wake him up.

Alya is asleep too, and Marinette, and the TV is still on and illuminating the room but Nino and Plagg have both vanished. 

Adrien hesitates, but- there's no reason he can't go look for them, is there? Alya had been far from annoyed when Adrien came wandering in last night, and although Nino's seemed exasperated all day Adrien doesn't think his friend is actually _angry_ at anyone. 

And he doesn't know if Marinette's room is going to be back to feeling comfortable yet.

He checks there first anyway.  It's almost back to normal, but there's enough magic drifting in the air still for Adrien to want to leave before any of it settles on him, so he turns back. 

He hears Plagg's voice and freezes with one paw still raised.

"-yeah, okay, I'll be careful with them, Teek." He pauses and Adrien can faintly hear an unfamiliar voice laughing.  "Hey, I can do careful."

"No, I really don't think you can," the unfamiliar voice says warmly and Adrien finds he's slinking closer. 

That has to be Tikki.  Plagg sounds fond and playful in a way Adrien's never heard before, and the way that he's being teased back means that he has to be speaking to either someone with Wildspeech, or to- or to his witch. 

And that is definitely not Nino's voice.

The balcony's not that hard for him to get out to anymore, but Adrien is so focused on getting there that he forgets to be quiet.  He accidentally brushes against a planter and freezes again at the loud thump it makes as it goes tumbling onto its side.

"Plagg, I think you have company."

Plagg turns around.  He'd been sprawled on a folding chair, tail waving lazily, and Adrien can see now that the older cat _is_ alone- sort of.  Propped up across from Plagg is what must be a cell phone or a magical equivalent, but it's much bigger than any other phone Adrien's seen. It looks very similar to Nino's tablet. "Hey, kid."

Adrien swallows. He knows he should move closer, but he isn't sure he can.  He isn't even entirely sure that Plagg would want him to.

Plagg tilts his head at him.  One ear flicks.  He sounds much more relaxed than usual when he says, "You can stay over there if you want.  Tikki'd like to meet you but it doesn't have to be right now."

Adrien swallows a second time, then forces himself to move forward slowly. 

He glances up and sees that Plagg is blinking lazily at him, not having moved from his spot.  His tail flicks again before he glances back at the screen.  Adrien can see it much better from here.  It's sitting at an angle along the side of the balcony and the woman smiling on the screen isn't at all what he pictured.  It's only then that Adrien realises he'd mostly been picturing Tikki as an older version of Marinette when he tried to picture her at all.

Tikki does have similarly piercing blue eyes and the same welcoming smile, but otherwise she doesn't look all that much like Marinette. Adrien catches himself wondering if they _smell_ similar and frustration wells up in him. He shouldn't _want_ to know that.

"H-hullo," he says at last, clearing his throat and looking at the screen, then at Plagg, then at the ground and feeling increasingly like an idiot.  He's not Tikki's familiar, he knows she can't understand him, but it still wouldn't feel right if he didn't introduce himself.

"Hello, Chat Noir," Tikki greets him warmly, and Adrien's ears flatten back in surprise.  He looks at Plagg. 

Plagg yawns.  "I'm not gonna go giving out your name without permission, kid, not even to her.  That's up to you."

Adrien hesitates for long enough that Tikki says, "I haven't even introduced myself yet, Plagg, don't scare the poor boy like that." She rests one hand against the screen and laughs when Plagg twists back around to headbutt it and purr.  "I'm sure Plagg's told you a little, but I'm Tikki, his witch and Marinette's teacher.  It's nice to meet you, Chat Noir." She nods at Plagg.  "He won't tell you this himself, but he's very worried that he won't be a good enough teacher for you."

" _Hey_." Plagg's tail lashes once, but he doesn't refute her words.

"You _are_ , or you wouldn't have called me to ask about Marinette's lessons.  You would have asked _her_."  Tikki gives Plagg a fond look that makes Adrien feel a little like an intruder.  "Plagg doesn't think he's going to live up to your expectations, you know."

"Plagg?" Adrien's ears flick as Plagg shifts uncomfortably.  Adrien ducks his head and paws at the ground.  He extends his claws and stares at them as he says, quietly,  "You're not going to disappoint me.  I know I'm- I know you probably didn't plan on teaching anyone, and definitely not- not someone who didn't learn- any of this, and you don't have to teach me, really, I-"   He shouldn't have started to say anything, because now the words are tumbling out painfully and he can't stop them. He's not used to experiencing that problem and what he _meant_ as a reassurance comes out as a plea instead.  "So long as I can just- just please don't make me leave.  You don't have to- I just want to stay _with_ all of you."

"Oh, kid," Plagg says, tiredly.  He gets up and jumps down to twine briefly around Adrien.  Plagg purrs and Adrien arches towards him automatically, then ducks away again.  "Kid, seriously. I don't do things I don't wanna do, as a general rule.  I _want_ to teach you, I just don't think I'm gonna be very good at it, and that's not fair to _you_." He flicks one ear back towards the screen.  "So I called Tikki.  She actually, you know, knows how to teach, so I figured it wasn't a bad call. Listen, you don't _have_ to have any lessons if you don't want'em, but don't think it's 'cause I don't _wanna_ teach you."

Adrien's still staring at his claws, but a soft noise from the phone makes him look up abruptly. 

Tikki has her hand to her mouth and is blinking rapidly.  She drops her hand and gives Adrien a sad smile.  "Plagg doesn't actually like very many people, you know.  He's clearly already very fond of you."  She giggles.  "And he teases _me_ about the kids."

"Well, yeah," Plagg says, twisting his head around to face Tikki without stepping away from Adrien.  "What do you think they'd have to say about you calling _every night?_ Especially when I _know_ Marinette called you earlier."

"The kids leave things out, Plagg." One eyebrow raises.  "For that matter, _you_ leave things out, but I tend to trust you to have better judgment than Nino about _what_ to leave out."  She taps her finger against her chin, grinning, then amends, "Mostly."

Adrien definitely feels like an intruder now, but he also doesn't know how to leave.  He's not even sure he wants to leave.  He still doesn't know where Nino is, and all the others are asleep, and he doesn't want to be alone.

He really doesn't want to be alone.

"So," Tikki says, and her voice has shifted, become softer. She clears her throat, and Adrien's caught off guard when she asks, "Chat Noir, are you happy here?"

Adrien straightens up slightly.  He flexes his claws again, feeling them catch and drag against the cement.  It's an odd sensation.

But it's not a painful one. 

He thinks about falling asleep in a room full of people, on the chest of a boy he met hours ago.  He thinks about Alya and Nino's raised voices and quick movements in the kitchen earlier- and how quickly Alya had found an excuse to _leave_ the kitchen when Nino first raised his voice.  He thinks about Marinette and Luka pouring so much magic into her creation, only to let it all fall away when they saw how much it scared him. 

He thinks about Plagg finding him and immediately bringing him home, without knowing who or what Adrien was. 

Adrien flicks his claws out and draws them back in.  He nods, because even if Tikki could understand him he doesn't trust his voice.

"Good, kid," Plagg says, surprisingly quietly.  He ducks to rub his head against the side of Adrien's again, purring softly.  "'You can stay as long as you want, you know.  We wouldn't kick you out."

Tikki laughs again, a musical sound that's as soothing as it is joyful.  "You _do_ really like him, Plagg.  I haven't seen you like this since Nino first started using Wildspeech."

Plagg turns away from his witch, eying the ground and scratching at it himself, not far from where Adrien's already scored faint lines without meaning to. Gruffly, he says, "Don't make a big deal out of this."

Adrien feels like he should agree with that sentiment, but he's also turning Tikki's words over and over in his head with a sense of wonder.  He knows he's not the kind of student Plagg deserves.  He _thought_ he knew that it was pity that made Plagg bring him home, that made him snatch Adrien up like the stray he _is_ and give him to a new family. 

But Tikki doesn't sound like she's lying. 

"Well, since you're here, Chat Noir," Tikki says, breaking him out of his thoughts.  "And since I know staying on topic is a weak point of Plagg's... what would you like to know, that I could teach you about now?" '

There's so _much_ that Adrien wants to know.  He's paralysed for a moment, overwhelmed by the need to make a decision, before Plagg glances at him.  Just as quietly as before, Plagg says, "Anything more about contracts and familiars, I think."

"Ah."  Tikki's features soften, making her look even younger.  "Plagg did say you weren't terribly familiar with the concepts.  Did you glean anything from the extremely outdated knowledge I assume he was working off of?"

Adrien blinks, curling his tail around his front paws.

" _Hey_ ," Plagg says, grooming one whisker as if to show how little he cares about Tikki's words.  "I'll have you know I am _not_ out of date. I _am_ capable of reading up on relevant subjects, you know."

Adrien flinches before he can help it.

Plagg drops down at his side in a heartbeat, nudging at him again.  "Didn't mean it like that, kid, sorry."

When Adrien looks up again, Tikki has a very odd expression on her face.

"I take it back," she says, her voice oddly thick.  "You weren't like this with Nino.  You weren't like this with Alya, either, when they first joined us."

Adrien notices that she's left out Marinette, but he's not sure how to ask about even if he could.  It feels like much too awkward a question to ask Plagg, and Adrien shies away from the idea of asking Plagg to translate for him at all.

Tikki shifts her gaze and addresses Adrien directly. "Chat Noir, whatever he tries to tell you later, you should know that Plagg is never this openly affectionate with anyone but me.  Not even the kids."

Adrien's started purring himself by now, a staccato rumble that he couldn't prevent and can't stop, but it stutters in surprise at that. "P-Plagg?"

Plagg shifts away slightly, but most of his left side is still in contact with Adrien's right.  He grumbles when he says, "Look, none of the others have this curse or form, and the kid is touch-starved anyway."

Tikki's eyes soften and Adrien looks away before he can see the pity in them.

"Oh, sunshine," she says, sadly, and Adrien looks back at her for a second and then away again.  "You lack confidence, too, don't you.  Don't you think your friends want to help you with that?"

"My friends want me to go to the police." Adrien is surprised to hear himself say that.  He didn't plan to, but he can't take it back now that it's out there.

"Kid, that's because you _need_ to go to the police." Plagg sounds very tired.  "Seriously.  What happened to you isn't okay.  It isn't legal, either, but even if it _had_ been it was _never_ okay." 

"It wasn't- that bad." Adrien's getting quieter.  He can't help it.  He still can't look back at Tikki.  "They never- they never really hurt me.  No one- no one really hit me, or, or-" He's breathing quicker.  He's not quite edging into an attack yet, but he's coming perilously close. 

Plagg curls around him the way he did during that first breakdown, flicking his tail so that it settles around Adrien, and purrs louder than Adrien has yet heard him. 

He knows why when the next thing Plagg says is, "Noir, you flinch at sudden movements and loud noises. Maybe they didn't hit you, but I think they at least must have _grabbed_ you a lot.  That right, kid?"

Hunching gratefully into Plagg's soft fur, Adrien nods with a strange sense of reluctance.  Maybe he just doesn't want Tikki to know about-

He doesn't want _anyone_ else to know about the carrier, or the muzzle, or the biting.  He can't change that Plagg and Nino know, but he doesn't want anyone _else_ to know.

(He especially doesn't want Marinette to know.  He doesn't want her to think of him like he's- he doesn't want her to _know_ that).

"That, and the way they didn't bother to ask you before using those spells _on you_ , is not all right, kid," Plagg says, contorting himself to rest his head over Adrien's neck.  Miraculously, it feels reassuring rather than confining.  "It _is_ illegal to interfere with a curse without express consent, and the laws are pretty strict and specific.  Curses are tricky enough _before_ people start poking around in them."

"Is that-" Adrien leans harder into Plagg and shuts his eyes, not sure what answer he wants to hear, before he says softly, "Do you- do you think that's why mine is so-"

"So tangled?" Plagg says, not unkindly, and glances up at Tikki.  "Teek, d'you think you can see his curse through the phone?"

"As long as we've been together, and on a phone I _know_ the kids have let Max at more than once? It should work."  Adrien's eyes are still shut, but he hears a rustling noise before Tikki says, "Chat Noir, is it all right if I take a look at your curse?  I don't know if I'll be able to tell you anything new, especially if Plagg couldn't, but I am considerably more used to seeing his curse from the outside. I may see something that he missed."

Adrien doesn't think for very long before he nods.  If he thinks about it for too long, he _won't_ want Tikki to take a look. 

She's just looking.  That's all.  She's just _looking_ , and she asked him about doing even that much, and he could have said no. 

She would have listened if he'd said no, at any rate.  Adrien himself still isn't very good at actually _saying_ no.

He doesn't open his eyes, so he doesn't know exactly what they do, but Plagg moves away from him and towards the phone.  Adrien tries to make himself smaller, catches himself, and then curls his tail tightly around his front paws before he can start biting.  That _really_ isn't something he wants to do when he's meeting Tikki for the first time.

"Oh," Tikki says, softly, and Adrien trembles harder at the sound of her voice- at the emotions in her voice.  He ducks his head against his tail, even more unwilling to face her. "I'm sorry, sunshine, I thought I could- Plagg was being accurate, when he referred to your curse as tangled.  It could be the same curse as his, but- damaged, for lack of a better word.  It could even be a different curse altogether that simply looks the same on the surface.  I'm- I'm sorry, I thought I would be able to tell."

"How the hell do you _damage_ -" Plagg stops, says nothing for a long moment, and then far too obviously changes the subject. "Hey, Teek, you never did answer my question.  How often _are_ lessons supposed to happen? Every one of these kids has given me a different answer.  Alya's has changed twice."

Tikki smothers a giggle at that.  "Of course it has.  Plagg, love, there's no set time or frequency, especially at Chat Noir's age.  It should be whatever you both agree works best."

"At my age?" Adrien says hesitantly, twitching his tail closer over his paws so that it can't start lashing and give away his anxiety. 

Plagg licks a paw and starts cleaning one ear as he echoes, "At his age, Teek?"

Tikki smiles at him, and in that smile Adrien can see why Plagg loves her.  "Chat Noir, you're more than old enough to work together with Plagg to figure out what kind of learning style suits you best.  Sometimes, we do better with time to process information between lessons.  Nino always has.  Marinette has always wanted to rush right into the next lesson, but sometimes that's not wise."

Plagg snorts.

"Yes, well, it did usually work out," Tikki agrees, a little dryly.  "But our domains give us a little more leeway towards mistakes.  Yours won't." She sobers. "Destruction and misfortune are not _bad_ domains, Chat Noir, and I would never want you to think they are.  They _are_ less forgiving of mistakes. A misfire would not be likely to stir a wild talent in someone else."

Adrien looks at Plagg, instead of away like he wants to, and finds Plagg already studying him.

"I'm teaching you _about_ magic, kid, you don't have to learn any spells," Plagg says, flatly, and _his_ tail lashes when Tikki makes a noise of protest.  "I know how you feel about it, Teek.  This isn't about how _you_ feel."

Adrien doesn't want to look back at Tikki now, not when his heart is sinking at knowing he's somehow earned her disapproval already. He still hears her sigh as loudly as though she's on the balcony with them both. "Even Nino agreed to learn shields."

"No, Nino gave in and learned shields because otherwise he knew you and Fu'd give him your disappointed faces." Plagg snorts.  "Kid, you should learn about different spells so you know what to look _out_ for, but you never gotta cast any."

"Plagg, really, you _are_ asking my advice-" Tikki starts, exasperated.

"Not about this." Plagg turns so that his back is to Tikki and starts washing his front paws again. "If he wants to talk to you about it later then that's different.  But he doesn't want to right now, and I am _not_ gonna force him."

Plagg's tone goes harsh enough on his last words that Adrien fights the urge to make himself smaller.

"All right, Plagg." Tikki's voice is soft again.  Adrien expects her to be angry with Plagg for arguing but she doesn't- sound like it. 

He looks up.

She doesn't _look_ angry, either.

She has her hand pressed up against the screen again, and Plagg twists back and jumps up to headbutt it lightly. 

"All right," Tikki repeats, and swallows. "I don't know you yet, Chat Noir, and Plagg does. I do trust his judgement, most of the time." Her voice turns teasing towards the end.

"Sap," Plagg mutters, but that's undermined by the way he's rubbing his head against the screen and purring.  "Know yet when you're going to be back?"

"No." Tikki sighs.  "I'm still looking, Plagg, but there's no trace of her anywhere that I can find.  Like she vanished into thin air."

Plagg considers this, then says, "Do we know that she _can't_ do that?"

Adrien doesn't think that he should stay any longer.

Plagg sees him starting to retreat, though, and says, "Kid, you don't have to leave."

For an uncharitable moment Adrien thinks that's because it's not like Adrien can share anything he overhears.  A moment later, though, sense reasserts itself- it's not as though Plagg isn't fully aware Adrien could tell Nino, and Nino would translate to the others if Adrien asked him.  Plagg wouldn't tell him he could stay without _meaning_ it.

But Tikki's expression has gone strange again and Adrien doesn't think he _wants_ to stick around any longer.

"Okay," Plagg says, when Adrien shakes his head.  "Nino's in his room, I think, if no one else has woken up yet."

Adrien flees before he can overhear anything else, and still catches the very beginning of Tikki saying Plagg's name with what sounds like concern.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> knowing i had char siu bao as a kid and loved it and not remembering what it was _called_ was driving me nuts


	18. good music defeats bad luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to shinobicyrus for the beta!

Adrien finds himself hesitating outside Nino's bedroom door.

He hasn't been in Nino (and Alya's, really) room since they first showed him around the house. 

Adrien can see Nino from the doorway. Nino's sprawled across the bed, absorbed in whatever he's listening to through his headphones. and Adrien should- should probably not interrupt him. He should leave Nino alone and go back to the others, maybe even go back to sleep if he can.  It's early still but no one has been on a normal sleep schedule since he got here, and it isn't like Adrien's not still tired himself. He isn't sure he recalls ever  _ not _ being tired.

He takes too long in the hallway.  He doesn't know if Nino hears him or sensing him staring, but after a few minutes that last forever Nino rolls over and blinks at him.

"Hey," Nino says, shifting his headphones off and gesturing at the bed.  It's a smaller bed than Adrien realised, considering he knows Alya's sharing it, but there's still plenty of space for Adrien to jump up alongside his friend.  "I was just working on some remixes if you wanna join me, dude."

Hesitantly, Adrien scrambles in and jumps to the bed, settling in beside Nino with a dubious look at the headphones. 

Nino rolls his eyes and holds one hand out to Adrien, waiting for Adrien to press his head against his hand before he strokes him lightly. "Not with the headphones, dude, it has speakers too.  You have good hearing, right? I can just keep it turned down." He reaches over and picks up his phone. Adrien hadn't even noticed that was what the headphones were attached to. "So, uh, this is probably a lot less interesting when you've been around Luka or Marinette all day.  I do a lot of- d'you know what music remixes are?"

"Sort of?" Adrien says tentatively, leaning into Nino's hand as Nino gently trails a few fingers down his spine.  He wonders how close he can curl up to Nino right now without it feeling weird. He's been closer than this to Marinette lots of times now, and they've all carried him or let him on their laps, but-

He might be more shaken from meeting Tikki than he'd realised. 

He might still be more than a little shaken from Rose and Juleka and Luka, too, now that he stops long enough to think about it.

Nino presses something on his phone.  "Well, that's one of my hobbies, remixing songs.  Uh- mixing existing songs together. I don't really have a preferred genre or anything, but I was looking up some of the old 8 bit midi stuff that got me interested in remixing in the first place. There's actually a lot of old school Final Fantasy in this if you wanna hear that, or I have Chrono Cross remixes but they're like the first ones I ever did so they're not, like,  _ great _ , or-"

Adrien finds that he  _ is _ pressing closer to Nino without meaning to.  He really did go to Nino because the others are asleep, but that's not the only reason he wanted to go to Nino specifically.  As much as Adrien had enjoyed himself initially with Alya it's hitting him belatedly how frustrating it is when he can't  _ talk _ , how the reminder of every time he's tried and tried and  _ tried _ to communicate with Father or Mother or Nathalie has so badly failed.  

Even now, hours later, even though Rose at least had still had a kind of communication that worked for him, Adrien can't quite shake those haunting memories.

And then there's the revelation that hurts even worse, that they deliberately let him think that-

His parents didn't just  _ not tell _ him about Wildspeech.  They told him no one would understand him.  They'd  _ lied _ about it and he doesn't understand, he doesn't know why they let him think there was no reason to even  _ try _ to talk to anyone on the rare occasion he even had the chance to try.

Nino  _ listens _ to him.  Plagg and Marinette listen, and Plagg and Nino can actually hear him besides, and Alya had gone through so much effort just to take him out for a night with their friends just because he couldn't sleep and they  _ understood _ that.

They all  _ listen _ .

Adrien is rubbing his head against Nino's side and purring and he has no idea when he started. Abruptly both very aware and acutely embarrassed, Adrien stops, flinching back for a moment before Nino lightly ruffles his fur. "Hey.  Rough day, right? All I did was wait around here with Marinette, and then wait around downstairs for a while, and  _ I'm _ stressed.  Are you doing all right, dude?"

Adrien blinks at him, not expecting the question.

Faintly, from Nino's phone, he hears music he almost recognises.  He really wants to see if he can identify it more than he wants to answer Nino.

"Hey, seriously." Nino lets his hand fall away again.  "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay." Adrien paws uncomfortably at the blanket, his tail lashing. "I'm- I just overreacted earlier, that's all."

Nino had been reaching for his phone again but he stops at that.  Slowly, he says, "Overreacted how, dude?"

"I-" Adrien hunches in on himself more.  "It was just a- just a car. And I panicked, and I hurt Rose.  And then Marinette and Luka- they put so much into that spell, and I couldn't-" Words are already beginning to fail him, even now, even with Nino. 

Adrien shuts his eyes, not wanting to see his friend's expression.

He keeps thinking that communicating is going to become easier at some point.  That it  _ has  _ to.  Plagg isn't having trouble, and they're around the same people, so  _ Adrien _ shouldn't still be having so much trouble. 

Something stirs in his memory at that, though.  Plagg, turning to look at him, saying,  _ Yeah, but you're not me _ .

Adrien opens his eyes and glances sideways at Nino again. He's trusted them all this far.  He should be able to trust Plagg about this, too. 

_ So I can't talk to him entirely the same way Plagg does.  I  _ can  _ still talk to him.  I  _ do _ talk to him. _

"Okay." Nino drops his phone and drags his hands over his face, letting out a deep breath. "There's, like, a  _ few  _ things to address there, dude.  But first of all you did  _ not _ hurt Rose."

Adrien flicks his tail and stares at Nino.

"You did not hurt Rose," Nino reiterates, firmly.  "Rose has been an empath all her life, dude. She knows how to handle other people's emotions, and she has Jules, and she knows when and how she needs to leave a situation.  She'll be fine. She was hurting _for_ you, not _because_ _of_ you.  There's a difference." His expression turns wry. "I should know, Rose and I have shared more than a few panic attacks.  That's... actually part of why I have meds, in fact. Seeing her made me realise just how bad the panic attacks actually were."

Adrien scratches absently at the bed without saying anything.  His claws don't catch, this time; he's a little more used to them by now. 

He can't read the look Nino gives him.  "Dude. You wouldn't sit here and say that  _ Rose _ was overreacting, yeah? So don't do it to yourself."

"But it was just a car." Adrien's voice comes out much quieter than he intends, but it does come.  "It probably wasn't even the  _ same _ car."

Nino starts to say something and stops.  He rubs his face again. "Okay, just thought of something. Do you know what a trigger is, dude?"

"Like, on a gun?" Adrien says uncertainly.

"I- okay, yeah, it's the same word." Nino shifts, looking down at Adrien, and after looking at him a moment longer to be sure he isn't misinterpreting the gesture Adrien creeps into his lap.  Giving Adrien plenty of chances to move away, Nino rests one hand on his side as he continues. "But that's not what I mean. The word itself is, uh, it's gotten kind of weirdly controversial the past few, like, years? But the important definition I was going for is a psychological one." He coughs.  "I don't, uh, know if you know a ton about psychology?"

"Not very much."  Adrien presses into Nino's hand and purrs weakly.  He hasn't really stopped feeling shame on some level about wanting his friends to pet him or wanting to curl up on their laps, but he craves the gentle attention they give him too desperately to give it up.

Adrien had read every single book in his room at some point.  He still knows several of them by heart.

Psychology had definitely not been one of the approved topics.

"Okay, well, a trigger is- it's something that makes you remember a specific traumatic event." Nino ducks his head, his fingers curling against Adrien's fur. "Like, Mom was baking something with cherries in it when Marinette's misfire hit me, so sometimes the smell of cherries will bring that memory back. Uh, I'm not actually gonna ask you to keep that a secret, 'cause it isn't exactly, but I don't think she knows her misfire hurt? I never told her, anyway." He stops and gives Adrien a worried look. "I've never asked you if it hurt when she caught  _ you _ with one."

Adrien is taken off guard by that, both by the question and by the realisation that this is something he actually shares with Nino. "I don't- I don't think so? I tripped..." He trails off, trying to remember. "I was already running, and I was trying to, uh, to see if I could- if I could get the leash to wear down if I pulled against it-"

Adrien stops again. He  _ has  _ to stop again.

He'd known about the leash, but it hadn't been visible. He knows that. He  _ knows _ that, he'd have been able to figure it out sooner if it had been. But he's never really-

He's never really pictured it  _ as _ a leash before.

_ Marinette said there were traces of other leashes, too. _ Adrien shivers.  _ She saw them. She  _ saw  _ them, and she said I had a collar too, and - and- _

Adrien's shivering turns to shaking. He twists to duck his head against Nino and lets out a very quiet, very involuntary whine.

" _ Shit _ ," Nino says fervently. "Sorry, dude, I wasn't going for a practical demonstration." He curls one arm around Adrien, careful to leave an obvious escape route open but otherwise hiding him the same way Plagg does. "Just- just focus on me, kay, dude? Focus on, uh, okay the breathing thing isn't gonna work. Uh-okay.  Adrien, if you can, tell me a couple things you can feel right now? Like, literally, sense of touch feel."

Adrien tries his hardest to take slow, deep breaths but Nino is right, he can't match his breathing to his friend's the way he can with Plagg. "I. My claws. In your jeans. Sorry, I didn't mean to-" He whines again.

"Adrien," Nino says, patiently. "I have other clothes. No one's gonna notice claw holes in any of mine, anyway, all my clothes have them. What else?"

Adrien headbutts him gently and Nino runs his hand over Adrien's head, fingers trailing through his fur. Still shaking, but not quite as much, Adrien says, "Uh, you. Your, your hands, I mean."

Nino stills. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No!" Adrien's claws catch against Nino's jeans again. "No, please- please don't."

"Okay." Nino resumes petting him.  "All right dude, but you can always move, okay? Uh.  Your hearing's really good, right? What are a couple things you can hear?"

Adrien tries to focus on Nino's questions, rather than on the way his breath is still coming in short pants.  "There's- snoring. From downstairs. Plagg's still outside, I can- I can barely hear him, but I hear him. There's that- that electric whine?" His voice pitches up uncertainly.  He's never been entirely certain the high-pitched noise certain electronics give off is  _ real,  _ he's never known anyone else that could hear it.

Nino whistles softly.  "You weren't kidding, you  _ do _ have good hearing."  He doesn't seem surprised, and Adrien does relax a little more when Nino doesn't tell him he's imagining things. "Okay, how about things you can see? "

"Um." Adrien huddles closer to Nino again, now that he's sure his friend won't mind. "You, still.  The- the room?"

"Maybe a little more specific than the room, dude." Nino's voice is teasing.

Adrien takes a deep breath and finds the next one comes much easier.  He's still mostly hidden by the careful way Nino is holding him, but he finally raises his head and looks around the room.  He hadn't really paid much attention when he first came in, too focused on Nino himself. "You've got- recording equipment?" Adrien blinks at Nino's computer setup , which he'd somehow missed before despite the way it takes up a significant amount of the room. "Oh! You said- you said you were working on music remixes."

"Yeah, exactly."  Nino shifts like he wants to reach over to the computer and Adrien flinches involuntarily. 

Nino freezes for a second, then grabs his phone instead and turns it so Adrien can see it. "I'm not working on anything serious right now, I just was kinda playing around with some ideas, but you can listen if you want? I could use a second set of ears, honestly.  This one's, uh, actually it's kinda 'cause of you and Marinette?" He rubs the back of his neck with his free hand, averting his eyes briefly before looking back at Adrien. "Final Fantasy has a lot of good music and I forgot how much I liked a lot of it, so I've been playing with a lot of the soundtracks.  Mostly from Six 'cause it's what you two're playing but from some of the others, too."

"O-oh." Adrien doesn't feel quite so much like shaking apart anymore, and he finds he's purring again as Nino shifts the arm wrapped around him.  The day before he might have felt too trapped to stay on Nino's lap but he's finally able to convince himself that Nino would let him leave in a heartbeat.  "I- yes, I'd like that. I- I heard You're Not Alone before..." He trails off. 

Nino grins.  "Dude. That one's like one of my favourite songs. I knew it's what I wanted to start with, it's the first one I ever tried remixing.  And, uh." He winces. "I mean, I should have thought of it sooner, but- Marinette's whole casting style is with music. I shouldv'e thought of this before Luka did, honestly."

"Um." Adrien flicks his tail around himself, ducking into it and letting it hide as much of his head as he can get away with.  He wishes his ears weren't quite so expressive. "Did they... did they tell you what happened?"

Nino blinks down at him, his hands falling still again.  "I guess not, dude. I mean, I haven't really talked to them about it? They've mostly been asleep.  But I kinda assumed she still couldn't get it to work, since, like- that's something they probably woulda brought up right away?  She's been trying pretty much since you got here, she's gonna be excited about it."

Adrien curls in on himself even more. 

"Adrien?" Nino does shift position this time, carefully cradling Adrien with him as he moves to put his back against the headboard. "They didn't tell me anything, dude.  Are  _ you  _ gonna tell me?"

Adrien really doesn't want to.  He already didn't want to, and hearing Nino so casually mention how excited Marinette must have been makes him want to explain himself even less. He tries to remind himself of what Plagg said, that his own emotions are important too, but he  _ shouldn't _ have been so scared.  He knows his friends won't hurt him.  He  _ does _ know that, and even if- even if this spell had felt far too similar to- to other spells, he should be able to get  _ over _ that.  He  _ knows _ they won't hurt him.

They won't hurt him on purpose, and they won't mean to slip into treating him like a pet, the way his mother never meant it and the way his father always insisted the magic wouldn't hurt so much if Adrien would just stop fighting it-

He catches that terrible thought spiral before it can go any further.  His friends aren't his father. They aren't his mother or Nathalie and they've all lived with Plagg this long without forgetting he's more than a cat.  Adrien's  _ safe _ here, whatever his nightmares have to say about it. Even if they  _ do _ forget Adrien was ever human they treat Plagg like family, and Adrien could do worse than that.

And Plagg would remind them. 

Adrien grabs for that thought like a drowning man for a life raft.  No matter what else happens, Plagg has made it very clear that he'd help Adrien.  Plagg  _ can't _ think of Adrien as a pet, or at least Adrien doesn't think he can, and- and if Adrien can just learn to be better about speaking up on his own,  _ he _ can remind Nino, at least.

"Hey, you don't have to tell me," Nino says, gently, and it's enough to make Adrien force the words out because Nino does deserve to know.

"She- they got it to work.  They made a- she used her dress form?" He knows he sounds more than a little confused, but then Nino is used to hearing Adrien confused by now. "It was- it still looks different, actually, you can see- um." Adrien ducks his head against his paws and only stops himself from biting at them because he sees Nino make a motion like  _ he  _ wants to make sure Adrien doesn't start chewing on himself like an idiot. "It worked, it's just- I was-" Adrien shivers, then admits miserably, "I couldn't go near it."

"He's leaving out the bit where he tried to." Plagg's voice is oddly flat, and Adrien flinches again, his ears going flat. 

He doesn't know how long Plagg's been here.

Adrien raises his head enough to see Plagg stalk into the room and leap stiffly onto the bed.  Adrien lowers his head again, but Plagg makes his way straight over to them and nudges Adrien's side with his nose before settling in next to them both. 

Nino doesn't say anything in response to Plagg.  Instead he glances worriedly between the two of them.

"He didn't want to tell us he was scared." Plagg's voice is quiet, with a weird note in it that Adrien can't identify.  "He probably doesn't want me telling you now. But kid, we don't wanna hurt you. This would have hurt you."

"It wouldn't," Adrien mumbles.  "Marinette wouldn't. It'd be- it would have been fine if I could just- just get  _ over _ it."

Nino's brow furrows and his arm tightens around Adrien.  "Dude, what does- you know we don't just mean, like, physically hurt you, right?  We don't want you to  _ get  _ hurt, period."

Adrien bites down on a sudden swell of frustration.

He knows his friends don't want to say things that would upset him.  He appreciates that- that level of concern for him. Adrien  _ hates _ the feeling of breaking down, the loss of control, the flood of emotions that he still doesn't really understand. 

But he doesn't like being treated like he's  _ fragile _ , either. 

He's never liked it, but it's worse now that he's met Plagg, now that he has a growing collection of evidence that his curse _ doesn't _ make him weak or fragile or inept.  Plagg isn't any of those things. Adrien can't imagine anyone using a single one of those words to describe Plagg at all, and none of  _ his  _ family seems to care at all about his curse. It doesn't change the way  _ any _ of them treat him.

Adrien rubs his cheek against Nino's arm, then winces inwardly.  It's hard not to let himself act more like a cat with each day he spends trapped in this form but he can't- he can't let himself do that sort of thing, not unless he wants them to start seeing him as a pet even sooner. 

He drags his thoughts back to Plagg again.  Plagg is here and real and solid and he's  _ been _ here for everyone else's whole  _ lifetimes _ , and Adrien has seen him act like a cat plenty of times already- hell, he's seen Plagg's cat trees and cat toys- and he's not a pet.  He's  _ not _ .  He's family and Adrien so badly wants to be family too. 

If being a familiar is what it takes to earn that, then he'll be a familiar. He'll- he'll figure out how to be a  _ good _ familiar, he'll find  _ some _ way to shove through his fear and actually help.

" _ Kid _ ." Plagg nudges Adrien. "C'mon, I know you well enough by now to recognise that look.  Tell us what you're beating yourself up over  _ this _ time.  Seriously, you have any idea how often you do that?"

Nino rolls his eyes and moves one hand to rest on Adrien's back- not petting him, this time, but just letting it rest there lightly.  "Or not, you don't have to tell us, dude. We aren't gonna make you."

Plagg rumbles something that might not be a growl, but that's definitely at least a close cousin.  "That's true, kid, you don't  _ have _ to.  But you should.  You keep too much locked inside and eventually you're gonna burst, trust me on that one." He cocks his head.  "So then, Noir. Wanna tell us what's got you so torn up?"

Adrien can't meet his eyes.  "I already- I already talked to you about it.  And it's not- it did help, but I can't-" His voice cracks, drops to a whisper.  "I know I'm not the kind of familiar she deserves. I know I'm- Plagg, I-" He shivers, acutely aware that Nino is listening, that Nino  _ wasn't _ here for this conversation the first time.

Adrien forces himself to continue anyway, but only after he buries his face in his paws and flicks his tail across his nose.  If he really has to say it then he doesn't want to  _ see _ them.  Miserably, he says, "I know I'd be a better pet than familiar.  I know I- I could  _ do  _ that, I don't-"

He doesn't finish that sentence.  He doesn't finish that sentence because Nino has gone tense all around him, and Plagg has leapt into Nino's lap and is twining around Adrien with the loudest purr Adrien's heard yet.

"Adrien," Plagg says, and the use of his true name makes Adrien peek out over his tail again. 

Plagg is looking him right in the eyes, holding very still except for his lashing tail. "You are  _ not _ a pet, kid, and you never will be.  Anyone tries to make you be their damn  _ pet _ and the number of scars I leave them with will be the  _ least  _ of their worries. I know what they told you but they were  _ lying _ , kid, you are worth  _ more _ than that."

Adrien realises he's shaking again as Plagg settles more solidly beside him, flicking his tail so it curls around them both.  Nino reaches out to brush his hand lightly against Adrien's side. 

When Adrien dares to look up, Nino looks as though he's still in the process of wiping traces of shock and horror from his expression.  His free hand twitches, forming a fist and falling loose again, as he says quietly, "You deserve better than that, Adrien. And we-" He stops, bows his head.  The hand against Adrien's side falls away as well. Nino swallows, and his voice sounds hollow and oddly  _ broken  _ as he says, "You're not our  _ pet _ , dude.  You're our friend.  We wouldn't  _ do  _ that to you, we-"

Nino stops, abruptly, and Adrien doesn't know why until he registers that Plagg is  _ definitely _ growling now.  Plagg isn't growling the way Adrien has growled those times he's been scared enough to try, either. 

Plagg is growling like he's the indefinable  _ thing _ that lurks in the darkness in tunnels deep underground, like the manifestation of the fear that keeps most humans from venturing too deep.

Instinctively, Adrien cowers away from Plagg and into Nino, who immediately curves an arm around him as if to insulate him from the sound.

"Plagg?" Nino says, cautiously, drawing Adrien even closer.

Plagg's voice is thick with the reverberations of that furious growl. "I thought it was something they'd been telling you.  It's  _ more _ than that, isn't it, kid?" His tone takes on a dark edge that makes Adrien suddenly acutely aware how much  _ older _ than the rest of them Plagg is, of just how much respect the others defer to him with.

Adrien can feel the way Plagg is growling deep in his _bones_ when the other cat grinds out, "Adrien _.  Who's been_ _treating you like a damn pet_?"

There are very few things Adrien wants to do less than answer Plagg's question. 

There are very few people Adrien trusts more than he does Plagg, even when Plagg is still making a noise like thunder at the end of time.

Adrien is vaguely aware that's probably not  _ healthy _ , not when he's only really known Plagg for a handful of days, but- but Plagg is the one who picked him up off the street and brought him home and introduced him into the kind of family Adrien had long since dismissed as an impossible fantasy. Plagg's done more for him in that handful of days than anyone else ever has.

It still takes everything Adrien has to finally respond.  He's so quiet when he does that even Plagg has to duck closer to hear him. 

Maybe not  _ only  _ to hear him. Plagg also stops growling and rubs his head comfortingly along Adrien's. That's very much a  _ feline  _ comfort but it's different, when it's Plagg.  It isn't anywhere near as upsetting when Plagg drifts into feline tendencies  _ because _ it's Plagg.

"It wasn't- it wasn't all the time." Adrien swallows.  He does  _ not _ want to say this.  "She didn't do it when I was human."

" _ Kid. _ " Plagg starts to groom him, his movements much sharper and more abrupt than usual. "Adrien, you  _ are _ human.  No one should have done it at all, ever.   _ Who _ , kid?"

"My-" Adrien crouches down, crouches away from Plagg, curling into as tight a ball as he can manage.  He doesn't want to say it.  Saying it feels like a betrayal.  Once he says it, he can't take it back.

Plagg is clearly trying to purr but it keeps stuttering out.  It's the most obviously agitated Adrien's seen him.

Adrien's eventual admission is more a whimper than it is real words, with the kind of pain lanced through it that makes him very glad that it was Luka and not Rose who stayed. "My- my mother.  It was- she only-" He whines unhappily. "She didn't mean it. She _ didn't _ mean it, not like- not like that."

Plagg hisses.  _ Nino _ hisses, and Adrien goes very still, and both his friends cut off abruptly.

Plagg rumbles something else but it isn't in a language Adrien knows. It isn't any of the Mandarin he can still remember. It doesn't sound like  _ any _ language he's heard before.

"Maybe she didn't mean it," Plagg says at last, and Adrien flinches again from the repressed rage in it.  "But she obviously made you  _ feel  _ like it. Gods of my  _ ancestors _ , kid,  she had no right to do that to you."

"She was my  _ mother _ ." Adrien still can't raise his voice.  "She didn't mean it like that."

Nino's other arm curves around Adrien and Plagg, sheltering them both, but loose enough that it doesn't make Adrien feel trapped and panicky. Darkly, Nino says, "That doesn't mean she could do that to you.  Dude, I know you don't want to go,  _ I know _ , but we- we  _ really _ have to go to the police, Adrien, this is- what your parents did was  _ wrong _ , dude!"

Nino's volume rises gradually as he gets more visibly upset with each word, sending Adrien cowering into Plagg.  Nino immediately softens his voice again. "Adrien, it was wrong. It was wrong and they shouldn't have done it. There are laws that are supposed to  _ protect  _ you, we can make sure it never happens again!  Adrien,  _ please _ ."

"Kid, we'll all be with you," Plagg says, brushing their heads together again. "You don't have to do this alone.  But you've  _ gotta _ go.  They never should have done those things to you and we can't-" Plagg's voice actually catches.  "We can't let them do it again.  _ Any _ of it.  Okay, kid? We don't want anything like that ever to happen to you, but you're not here  _ legally _ and we need to change that so you're safe."

"They didn't mean it," Adrien whispers, but even he can tell the words ring hollow.  "They didn't mean to."

"But they still  _ did  _ it," Nino answers quietly. "They still hurt you.  Just 'cause they're your parents doesn't give them the right to hurt you, dude,  _ no one _ has a right to hurt you.  Adrien, it's  _ really obvious _ that this hurt you.  They should have seen that."

"They  _ didn't _ mean to." Adrien hunches in on himself, shutting his eyes tightly.  "They didn't mean to. They had- they had reasons, they-"

"Adrien," Nino says.  "Adrien, dude, they  _ didn't _ . They  _ don't have the right to hurt you,  _ no one does.  They didn't have reasons.  What they had were  _ excuses." _

Adrien whimpers.  There's next to no sound behind the words when he repeats, desperately, "They didn't mean to."

"C'mon, kid, are you listening to yourself?" Plagg twists to drape his head over Adrien's neck and purrs, loudly.  "They  _ did _ hurt you.  Hell, they're  _ still _ hurting you, this  _ isn't okay _ ."

Adrien starts to worry at the fur on his front paws, but Nino reaches over and gently slides his hand between Adrien's teeth and paws and Adrien is too scared of accidentally biting his friend to try again. 

He still doesn't want to make this decision.  He almost wishes they  _ would _ just bring him to the police, even if he hasn't actually agreed, because then he wouldn't  _ have _ to decide.

Plagg rumbles again and Adrien presses back against him with a much weaker purr of his own.  "Kid, it won't be right this minute, okay? But it's gotta be soon. Adrien, look, I know you're not- I know you ain't used to making decisions, kid.  An' I already said I wouldn't force you. Just- this is important, Noir, it's  _ real important _ that you file a police report.  Even if you don't actually wanna press charges-"

" _ I'm _ pressing charges," Nino says, flatly, and Plagg derails entirely. 

"Nino?"  Plagg blinks at him, ears flicking wildly. 

Nino scowls and curves his arm tighter around Adrien, fingers brushing his fur again.  "I said, I'm pressing charges. I can do that, remember? Wildspeakers have that right."  He gives Adrien an oddly apologetic look before adding, "I mean, they sort of do, anyway." 

“That,”  Plagg starts, then shakes his head with an ill-defined sound.  "That is one hell of a creative interpretation of that law, kiddo."

Nino raises an eyebrow.  "I'm sure you know  _ nothing _ about that, Plagg. Totally unrelated, you know Mom's told us stories about when Tikki was teaching  _ her _ , right?"

In a dreamy, disconnected sort of way, Adrien wonders what Nino and Marinette's parent's domains are.  He doesn't think they've ever said and the revelation that their mother  _ also _ learned from Tikki puts his impressions in a different light.

A much more immediate and relevant part of himself, however, is wholly occupied with the rush of terror and near-betrayal Nino's words have brought on.  _ Adrien _ doesn't want to press charges, Adrien's not even sure what that entails, but  _ Nino _ does?

"Adrien?" Nino's voice is cautious, but there's a determined edge to it.  "Adrien, dude, I know you probably don't want me to do this. Just- listen, okay? If I  _ don't _ do it, that leaves them a loophole. That leaves them a way to get you back and we don't  _ want _ that, dude, you're our friend and they- they hurt you. I’m sorry, Adrien, but if I let them legally drag you back knowing that I could have done something to stop it…” 

"I-" Adrien swallows hard, his ears flattening as his back hunches.  His voice is very small. "I don't want to go back."

Relief flashes across Nino's face. "You don't  _ have _ to go back, okay, dude?  We wanna make sure you  _ never _ have to.  Just- it's gonna be hard, okay? I- you need to- you need to tell them some of the things you told me and Plagg." Nino runs a very cautious hand over Adrien's ears, skimming them where they're still pinned back.  "I know you don't wanna do that. Shit, dude,  _ I _ don't wanna do that, but we  _ have to _ ."

Adrien buries his face in his paws again, or at least he tries to- Nino still has a cautionary hand resting lightly over his front paws, and he doesn't seem willing to move it.

His friends have spent so much time and effort into convincing Adrien that choices are something that he  _ has _ .  That they're something he's  _ allowed _ to have. Neither Plagg nor Nino would be this insistent unless it was something they really, truly think is necessary.

Adrien is very, very tired of being told what he has to do for his own good. 

But he trusts them.

And he loves them.

It feels awkward and stilted still when he tries to pin down the feeling, but he’s- he already loves them with all his heart.  They saved him and he's so indescribably grateful and he has nothing he can  _ give  _ in return save for how deeply he loves them for it. 

Adrien heard the love in Plagg and Tikki's voices when they spoke, too, that easy affection born of years of partnership, and Adrien wants- he wants at least a  _ chance  _ at that, and that's something he can never have if his father finds him. 

"All right," he whispers, finally, keeping his eyes shut and only faintly aware that he's probably clawing Nino's jeans badly.  He's just grateful that Nino wears sturdy enough clothes that Adrien's claws aren't at all likely to end up anywhere Nino's skin.  "I'll talk to them- you'll talk to- to them. I- just- you'll be-"

"We'll be with you," Plagg assures him quietly, immediately grasping what Adrien's trying to ask. "Of course we'll be with you, kid, I'd never ask you to do this alone.  I'll be right there the whole time, as many of us as you want with you will be there."

"All of you," Adrien gasps, not knowing that's going to be his answer until he's already said it.  "All of- can you all, please, the more-" 

The more he tries to think about it the more his fear intensifies, but he knows he wants them there.  He knows he- he trusts them to protect him, he trusts them not to- not to turn him in, or leave him behind, or-

Or to decide to give him back after all. 

Adrien doesn't know for sure if his father's done anything like post a reward.  He  _ suspects _ it, he thinks there's a very high chance there are lost pet posters with his picture on them, but he doesn't  _ know _ . 

They've always caught him before.  They might not have thought it was necessary.

They might be entirely confident they'll quickly be able to catch him again.

They might not be  _ wrong _ .

Adrien whimpers. "Please, if- if you're all willing to-"

"Kid, of  _ course _ we are," Plagg says immediately, laying a paw over Adrien's side and brushing back the fur there.  It's a weird gesture, not quite human and not quite cat, and it's just odd enough to drag Adrien partway out of the mire of fear he's been sinking back into.  "All you have to do is ask."

"Adrien," Nino says, and then waits patiently until Adrien looks up at him. "We'll all go if that's what you want.  Of course we will. But-" He hesitates, long enough for Adrien's anxiety to rise another notch, and then Nino sighs unhappily even as he brushes a comforting hand across Adrien's other side.  Gently, he says, "They're gonna want details, dude. The cops, I mean. We wanna make _ totally sure _ you never have to go back, but- but that means they're gonna wanna know, like-"

Plagg nuzzles him, still unusually affectionate. He's also speaking more quietly than Adrien's ever heard him.  "They're gonna wanna know about the spells and the- and the cage and the muzzle and shit, kid." Plagg ducks his head and rubs it along Adrien's neck at the pained noise Adrien can't keep in.  "Yeah. Yeah, I know. But you gotta tell them. Telling them means  _ you never have to go back _ , Adrien.  We won't- look, we'd come get you out anyway, all right? If something happened.  We'd find some way. We'd come and  _ get _ you, kid, but we don't want that to ever be necessary."

"But I don't want them to know," Adrien says, numbly.  He doesn't- want to see the look on Marinette's face, if she ever learns how he let himself be- how he'd let them- catch him, cage him,  _ muzzle  _ him, over and over and he doesn't want her to think that he's-

Adrien's always known that those aren't things that happen to humans.  Maybe he hasn't always wanted to acknowledge it, but he's always  _ known.   _ That they don't happen to humans, that they wouldn't keep happening to  _ him _ if only he - if his parents- if he just-

Father doesn't treat him like he's human, too.  Mother didn't either, or Nathalie. They never have.   _ None _ of them have accepted that he's  _ human _ the way Plagg and his family have.  

If that's been true this long, and Adrien thinks it's been true for years at a minimum and maybe even  _ longer _ than he really wants to admit, even to himself-

His father and Nathalie are never going to treat him any better than a pet. 

Adrien still has a choice. He really does think that if he refuses to talk to the police after all, Plagg wouldn't force him.  Plagg might even try to find another way to help, and so would Nino, and Alya, and Marinette, and maybe even Luka and Rose and Juleka, now. 

But it isn't just about him, is it?

Lowly, because he hasn't mentioned  _ this  _ outright to Nino either, Adrien asks, "Would they- if I told them.  Would they take Nooroo away from Father, too?" 

Nino blinks, his brow furrowing.  "Noo- I thought you said you were an only child."

The tip of Adrien's tail twitches.  Plagg brushes against his side again.  "I- I am. Nooroo is, uh, he's Father's familiar."

Nino's expression darkens enough that Adrien tries to back up, so sharply that if it weren't for Plagg and Nino both steadying him he might have fallen not just off Nino's lap but off the bed entirely. 

Flatly, Nino says, "That's why you're so nervous about being a familiar.  Isn't it."

Adrien doesn't answer him. 

Adrien's pretty sure Nino knows the answer, anyway.

"Right."  Nino raises one hand to his forehead, looking suddenly exhausted.  "So that's- that's a whole other thing, too. Gods. Adrien, I can talk to you about that, okay?  I don't really wanna be a witch, so Alya and I- well, I still kinda have to talk to them about it, too? But, dude, Plagg isn't the only one you can talk to about being a familiar. There's more in our class, too, for that matter.  Mylene, Ivan, Alix- okay, sort of Alix, I don't think  _ anyone _ really knows what's going on there.  I think Nathaniel knows someone else, too." Nino moves his arm, but only to start petting Adrien more normally.  "Also, like- don't take this the wrong way or anything, but  _ holy shit _ I feel like we really need to get you to a therapist, dude, we are _ not  _ qualified over here."

Plagg sniffs.  Loudly.

"You don't count either," Nino tells him.

Adrien hunches uncomfortably, ears flattening again.  "I don't need a therapist."

"Dude," Nino says, gently.  "There's nothing wrong with it, okay? And Adrien, you-" Nino's hand falls still for a moment before he resumes petting Adrien, slower than before.  "When you talk about yourself, you _say_ things, like.  You'll talk about like, giving you back to your dad, or you'll- say- dude, you don't phrase things like _you_ don’t think you're human, and it really, _really_ worries me."

"Oh," Adrien breathes, shuddering as Nino's words click into place.  He'd known, sort of, that he doesn't use quite the same language as the others do but he's been chalking that up to not having  _ known _ anyone else before.  "I didn't- I didn't realise."

"Yeah," Nino says.  "Yeah, dude, I kind of figured."

Adrien's still wary about the idea of therapy, and not only because he has nothing but a vague impression of sitting on an uncomfortable couch having an uncomfortable conversation about his mother.  Nino assures him that he does know someone who won't care what form Adrien is in, and while Adrien's not entirely convinced that's true he at least believes that  _ Nino _ believes it's true.

But they can't do any of that without first going to the police.

And to Adrien's dismay, they can't do  _ that _ without first involving Alya.

By the time the three of them return to the living room the others are awake, or at least upright.  Luka is still blinking heavily and Marinette is yawning, and Alya looks the same as ever but by now Adrien knows that if he looks at them  _ through _ their illusion they likely still look just as tired.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to stay so long," Luka says, before echoing Marinette's yawn. He picks his guitar up from where it's resting unobtrusively against the wall. 

Adrien wonders if maybe Luka just doesn't go anywhere without his guitar.

Alya waves him off lazily, even as they twist to sprawl sideways across their armchair.  "Luka, trust me, you're fine."

"Do you even remember that you don't actually live here?" Marinette asks Alya, heaving herself up from the couch.  "Seriously, do you even bother to tell your parents where you are anymore?"

Alya shrugs lazily.  "I don't have to, they probably know.  Besides, I'm an adult."

A moment after Alya says that, though, they start laughing hard enough to undermine it.

Adrien's wary of drawing attention to himself and restarting the conversation from Nino's room, but that makes him too curious to resist.  "You are?"

Nino sets Adrien down gently on the back of the couch.  "Yeah, technically, anyway. Seventeen is the legal age around here, dude.  Sort of. If you have a mentor and they say you're a master or equivalent, you can get, like, some classes and licenses and stuff early.  Alya did, Trixx declared them at fifteen so-" He gives Adrien a swift glance. "So they could start studying magical law right away."

The strange sub-vocalization that draws from Alya isn't something Adrien thinks is audible to anyone but himself and Plagg. Quietly, Alya says, "I'll see you later, all right, Luka? Thanks for everything."

Luka clearly picks up on something that Adrien doesn't, because he looks once around the room and nods. "Any time you need me.  You  _ can _ call, you know," he adds to Alya, but he sounds amused rather than exasperated.  "You too, Marinette, Nino- and hey, Noir, come by any time, okay?"

Adrien almost falls off his perch. 

Luka's eyes soften.  He sets his guitar back down to move closer to the couch, holding his hand out and waiting patiently until Adrien gently noses his palm.  Adrien is- still not sure he wants Luka petting him, still not sure he wants anyone outside of Plagg's family to pet him, but Luka draws back calmly after that contact anyway.

"The boat's kinda hard to find, sometimes," Luka says, apologetically.  "But Alya's good at finding it, and a lot of the rest of their class is, too.  They can tell you how."

Alya swings back upright in the armchair.  "Luka? You sure?"

Luka shrugs.  "Hey, I heard what Rose said, too.  And you obviously trust Noir- I'd ask the class about it, if I were you."

"Huh," Plagg says.  He sounds contemplative.  "That's not a bad idea, kid."

Nino immediately relays that to Luka.

It's only when Luka relaxes minutely that Adrien even notices how stiffly he'd been holding himself.  "I don't know if everyone's gonna answer right away, but they _ will  _ answer."

"Chloe," Marinette says, sceptically.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that too much." Alya waves a hand dismissively.  "She'll answer for  _ you _ .  Most of them will."

"It's been a long time since I was class president," Marinette says, and then startles as everyone sighs. "What? What did I say?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it." Alya pinches the bridge of their nose and then heaves themself up and out of the arm chair.  "Hang on, Luka, at least take some leftover spaghetti or something with you."

Nino rubs his forehead.  "Actually, yeah, it would be nice if  _ someone _ appreciated the spaghetti." Even Adrien can tell that the glare he sends at Alya has no real bite behind it, though.

It's not long before Luka's leaving, thoroughly rested and with a small container of food that Marinette especially is insistent that he eat.  Adrien recalls guiltily how the others have told him that working any magic makes them hungry- Luka's been asleep all this time, and he'd evidently put more power into his song-throwing on the way home than Adrien had known initially.

Marinette hugs Luka before he leaves and whispers something to him.

That sends an odd sensation down Adrien's spine that he identifies a confused moment later as  _ longing _ . But- he doesn't know if he wants Marinette to come back and hold  _ him _ , or if he's upset that he can't hug Luka himself.

Possibly it's both.

 


End file.
